Weiss Kreuz Fan Fiction ❯ Falling ❯ Revelations ( Chapter 4 )

Falling

Fan fic by: Omni-sama

Part 4: “Revelations”

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Ratings, disclaimer, etc. found in first chapter

NOTE: Yohji POV.

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It starts off the same. At least…the buildings are the same. Asuka's there, wearing the same outfit, same hair cut, everything. But we aren't running. There's no gunshots. She's just standing there a few feet ahead of me, her body profiled to my right as she stares off at something. What is it? What's she looking at? When I reach her, I turn to look as well. Something in the distance…people. Three people. It looks like a fight. An unfair fight, however… It's two against one. Oh…oh shit… That's Ran! And Schreient! Goddammit!

 

“Asuka, we need to help him!” I grab her arm and pull her along with me as I run towards them, but she's dragging too much so I let her go. If I don't reach him soon, there's no telling what those bitches will do to him!

 

As soon as they see me coming, they drop Ran and head my way. That's fine, though… Get them away from Ran… Out of the corner of my eye I see Asuka head over towards where Ran fell. She helps him up and props him against the wall of the building next to us. Good. She's got him covered, so now it's time to take care of the other two… But they're not attacking. They just stop and laugh, then change directions in order to run away. The blond girl—fuck if I can remember her name—yells over her shoulder something that sounds like “We'll just let you finish up, then!” The hell does that mean?

 

Doesn't matter. I need to go check on Ran. It's only once I move closer that I realize Asuka's not propping him up. Her hands are around his throat and she's pinning him against the wall. How the fuck can she lift him and hold him like that? I never knew she was that strong… Dammit, Yohji, that's not the problem! Ran's still in danger! But… Asuka? Why is Asuka doing that? Is it… Is it Neu?

 

“Neu! Let him go!” She doesn't react, just continues to smile and glare at Ran as she works on choking the life out of him. “Asuka!” Why…why did she have to react to that name? Why is it that name that turns her head? Why couldn't it have been Neu?... I can attack Neu…if I have to.

 

“Yohji…” Oh God… “Help me…” Asuka…

 

Of course! She can't control her actions! That must be it. Neu's in control or something. I have to save her. If I save her, I save Ran.

 

“Help me kill him.”

 

I had started walking closer, but my feet freeze at those words. That's…that's not right. I heard wrong.

 

“Use the gun.” Gun? What gun? I look down and see a black firearm in my right hand. But…how did that get there? I didn't have one just a second ago… Wait, she wants me to… I look back at them in horror. She doesn't really want me to shoot him, does she? She can't!

 

“What's the matter, Yohji? It's easy. And if you help me, then the nightmares about me will stop. I promise.” What? What in the hell is she… “I can come back again. I can be yours. All yours.” This isn't making any sense. She's dead. She died twice! She can't come back… And killing Ran can't bring her back… It doesn't make… “I came back once already, Yohji. I can come back again. This time I'll be me. Really be me. I'll remember everything…you, our love, everything. You just have to help me.”

 

Ran struggles a bit against her grip and manages to crack open an eye in order to look at me, then chokes out my name. My chest hurts. Stop it… Asuka, stop it. “Let him go!”

 

She releases him, but he doesn't fall. Wires wrap around his neck and hold him in place. He releases more choked sounds that could be attempts at my name, and I feel myself stepping towards him. But then Asuka stands in my way, and she looks angry. I've made her angry before, but she never looked this pissed… It doesn't matter, though. Ran's hurt, and it's her fault! I'm the one who should be angry, goddammit!

 

“Yohji…” That voice… It does something to me. It always did…it always will… “Don't you want me? Don't you love me?”

 

“How can you ask that? Of course I do.”

 

“Then what does he matter? His life is a small sacrifice to resurrect the life we once had, don't you think?” Her eyes soften and she smiles at me. Ran gurgles from behind her. This is so wrong. So very wrong.

 

“Let him go.”

 

“You'll have to kill me in order to free him. You can't do that. You know you can't.”

 

I look back down at the gun in my hand, then at her eyes. Are those Neu's eyes or Asuka's? I can't tell… Her smile grows, but it seems…off. It's not Asuka's smile. But she's not Neu, either. I don't know what's going on. I just… Ran gags and I raise the gun up until it's pointed between her eyes. I don't know if I can actually do it, but maybe if she thinks I will…maybe…

 

“You'll kill me, Yohji?” Oh God…she looks so sad. Don't be sad, Asuka…don't be sad… Just let him go and I'll lower the gun, I swear... Fuck… This is so wrong…

 

Ran stops making sounds. I try to move around Asuka in order to get a look at him, but she won't let me. “Don't worry about him, Yohji. He doesn't matter.” But he does! Ran's my teammate, my friend, my… “You can't do it, can you?” The smile from before returns, looking so out of place on her lips. “The fact that your hesitating is proof enough that y—”

 

Oh God. I… Fuck… I… Asuka!

 

She falls to the ground, a hole on her forehead right between her eyes. When it exited, the bullet sent bits and blood flying against the wall and Ran. And I… It was me… I… Asuka… Ran! Ran's still on the wall! I rush over to him, and the wires snap free as soon as I touch his body. He collapses into my arms and I lower us to the ground as I try to wake him up. But he won't open his eyes. He's not breathing. God no…

 

Someone's laughing. I look up in time to see Asuka pull herself up off the ground, the hole still there. Blood trickles down her face as she turns and smiles at me. That smile from before. That smile that's not hers. I don't know whose smile that is… But I hate it.

 

“What did you expect, Yohji? That's what happens with you. Anything you ever care about dies. You should know that by now.”

 

NO!

 

As soon as I open my eyes, I feel bile rise in my throat. Bathroom. Need to get to a bathroom. The blankets evidently wrapped around me in my sleep, and they send me tumbling to the carpeted floor as soon as I attempt to get up. Sounds of someone shifting about come from the other double bed in the room and I curse the fact that Omi and I had to share a room for this mission.

 

“Yohji, are you ok?”

 

“I'm fine, Omi…go back to sleep.” And I am fine. Except for the mild pain in my knees from the fall. Oh, and the need to vomit. Bathroom… Get up and get your ass to the bathroom, Kudou! Somehow I manage to detangle myself from the blankets and stumble into the bathroom just in time to empty my stomach in the gleaming white toilet. Unfortunately, my hair was down… Goddammit. I'll need a shower, too.

 

I wait until I'm sure there's nothing else inside me to throw up before I flush the toilet and move to the sink. After quickly washing off my face, I rinse my mouth out with the complimentary mouthwash. God… What the fuck was up with that dream? The images haunting me, I start the shower, strip off the pajama pants I'm wearing, and step in under the spray once it's warm enough. Just thinking about it makes me feel sick again. And scared. I can't believe I… Asuka… Fuck.

 

I wash my hair and scrub myself until there's nothing left of the complimentary bar of soap. With nothing left to do, I shut off the spray. Even after toweling off, I still feel wet due to the humidity of the steam in the room. My pajama pants stick to my skin a little as I slide them back on. It's a little hard to breathe in here now, so I head back out into the room. Omi's sound asleep, or at least pretending to be for my sake. He's a good kid.

 

I need a cigarette. My pack is lying on the table in the corner, right next to my cell phone. The sight of the phone makes me want to call Ran. I know it was just a bad dream, but I'm worried. However, the clock on the nightstand says it's only four in the morning. He won't be up now. Besides, I shouldn't call him, anyway… We're both on missions. Sure Omi and I finished ours up last night, but Ken and Ran could still be busy working on theirs. When Omi and I get home later today, I guess I'll see if they're still working or if they finished, too. I hope they'll be home…

 

Grabbing my lighter and my pack, I head out to the balcony to wait for the sunrise. I've got about two hours to kill before Omi and I have to get ready to leave for the airport, so what better way to pass the time than to smoke and wait for the sun? After all, there's no way in Hell I'm going to get back to sleep after that fucked up dream.

 

The sky's mostly black, with some gray bleeding into the horizon. Three stories down lanterns still do their best to illuminate the path along the rocky coast. We got a nice view with this room, even though we never really took the time to enjoy it while we were here. Well, I can change that. It may be too dark to really see much of the ocean now, but it will be pretty nice to watch the sun slowly light it up. There're two chairs and a small table out here, so I set the pack down on table after removing a cigarette and lighting it up. The lighter joins the pack after it's done its job. Forgoing the chairs, I move to the railing, leaning on it with folded arms as I look out over the dark sea.

 

What the fuck is wrong with me?

 

That dream… The hell kind of person dreams about shooting the woman he loves? Even if it was to save the guy he…he… What? Kissed? Went down on? What the hell is Ran to me, anyway? Yeah, he's hot, and yeah I've been sort of infatuated with him for a few years. Whoa now…wait…infatuated? Maybe intrigued… Oh, who the fuck are you trying to kid, Kudou? You've been nearly obsessed at times. I mean for God's sake, you took a man home to fuck just because he looked like Ran and had the same name! Yes, Yohji, you are infatuated.

 

Alright. So I'm infatuated. So I want to fuck him, be fucked by him, kiss him more, hold him, suck him off again and again… But then what? I mean, once we've had our fill of each other, will that be it? I mean, it's not like we're in a relationship or anything. Hell, I don't even know what the fuck is going on between us! Suddenly he's pinning me against counters and kissing me and making me touch his bare chest and… Fuck! So I'm confused. Ok, got that part. I'm confused. He wants me, I want him…got that part, too. But how much does he want me? How much do I want him? Was that dream trying to tell me that I care for him more than Asuka, because that's just impossible. She's the love of my life. I'll never love anyone more than her.

 

…Right?

 

Fuck, wait a minute. Where the hell is all this love stuff coming from, though? I don't love Ran. We're friends…sort of. We're teammates. We're teammates that want to fuck each other's brains out. But that's it. We're not lovers. We're not in love. I care about him, yeah, but it's not love. I mean, we haven't even had sex yet. Not that I think you have to have sex to be in love… I'm just saying…

 

Damn, this is so fucked up. And when everyone's home from their respective missions, what's going to happen? Will we just pick up where we left off? Will we talk about it—about the possible changes this may bring to our relationship? Relationship…fuck, I thought I just said we didn't have a relationship. Besides being teammates. That's it then, our teammate relationship. The possible changes to our teammate relationship.

 

But maybe he doesn't think anything will change, because he doesn't have all the emotional confusion I'm currently experiencing. Maybe it's all just sex to him. Huh…never thought I'd consider Ran to be someone who'd want to have meaningless sex. Then again, there's a lot I don't know about him… But… Hell, what if I was right initially, and he doesn't have meaningless sex? Then that would mean that he's expecting us to have a relationship of some sort in order for us to have sex together. And so maybe he already thinks that I understand this, or at the very least feel the same way, and so doesn't feel like anything really needs to be discussed. It's all just…implied.

 

Well fuck that! I'm not going to let myself get sucked into a relationship that I didn't agree to. I'm a free man; I can fuck whoever I damn well please. I'm finished with relationships. Done. That's it. No more for me. If Ran wants to fuck around a little, fine, but no relationship. We can be teammates that fuck, that's it. Well, and friends. I wouldn't mind being friends… I'd like that, actually… Really like that.

 

He's still a hard case to crack, and I still want to find out all I can about him. My infatuation again, I guess. My…shit… Maybe I do… No. No, I don't. I care about him as a friend, but nothing more. That's it. I don't love him. I'm not going through any of that shit again. Because I know damn well that if I do admit to loving him and let myself get all giddy about it, I'll return home to find that he doesn't give a rat's ass about anything besides my cock. And that would hurt. That would hurt a fucking lot. I mean…if I loved him. Which I don't. I don't love him. He's my friend. He's just really hot. That's all.

 

And holy shit is he a great kisser. I wonder where he learned it… Maybe he had boyfriends or girlfriends in the past… But I bet he's still a virgin. Though a virgin that's reached his limit and needs to engage in some sex soon or he'll explode. I was probably his first blow job, too. Wonder if he'll be interested in returning the favor sometime… I could teach him if I had to. Hell, it would be my pleasure…literally.

 

The glass door slides open behind me, and I turn to see Omi standing there in his pale blue pajamas. I swear he looks so adorable that sometimes I forget he's a professional killer. Right now he looks a little worried, and I hope it's not from the way I was earlier. “Yohji, we need to get ready to go now.” Huh? But it's only… Well I'll be damned. When did it start getting brighter out? There time goes being weird again…

 

Looking down at my cigarette, I realize I've wasted yet another while dwelling on thoughts of Ran. With a sigh, I flick it down towards the rocks below. Guess I need to head in and get dressed… But Omi's still standing there, looking worried and maybe a bit…hesitant. Something's not right. “What's wrong, Omittchi?”

 

He looks down at the concrete balcony. “Birman just called.” I can tell he's summoning his courage, because he takes a breath, then forces himself to meet me in the eye. “Aya and Ken are finished with their mission.” Ok, so what's the problem? That's good news, so why does he look so… No. Something went wrong, didn't it? “Aya got a little hurt.” No. “But… It's nothing major! Birman assured me of that. She's on her way to Kyoto now to find out all the details, but she said not to worry too much. Evidently he obtained the injuries during the mission and was still able to complete it. So, it can't be that bad…”

 

“Omi, you know damn well that he's the kind of idiot that would finish the mission no matter if it killed him!” Shit. I gotta get dressed. Gotta go to Kyoto… Now. I push past Omi and head to my bag, pulling out my clothes for today.

 

“But it's not that bad… He's fine, Yohji. Ken took him to a hospital that's under Kritiker's employ, and he's being taken care of.”

 

“You don't know that for sure.” Off with the pajama pants and on with the briefs, then the slacks… Where the fuck is that shirt? “You just said that Birman doesn't even know the details, so how can you be so fucking sure?”

 

“Yohji…”

 

“Get dressed, Omi. We're going to Kyoto.”

 

He sighs at me but goes over to his travel bag anyway and starts changing. “I figured you'd want to go there… Birman did, too. You'll be happy to know that she changed our tickets. We can pick up our new ones at the airport.”

 

Oh right…we flew here. I had totally forgotten about that… “Thank you. I mean…or…tell her thank you…”

 

He smiles after he pulls his shirt on and shakes his head, then stuffs the rest of his things into his bag. “Ready, Yohji?”

 

Zipping up my own bag, I turn to him and nod. “Let's go.”

 

*****

 

My legs are bouncing a little as I spot the hospital from the backseat of the cab. Just as we turn to head towards the visitor entrance, Omi's cell phone rings. He answers it and starts talking to whoever it is, but I'm paying more attention to the cab's distance from the doors. The car barely has time to stop before I open my door and jump out, ignoring Omi when he calls out for me to wait. I don't want to wait, goddammit! I did too much of that on the way here. I need to see Ran, and I need to see him now! Just a few steps shy of reaching the information desk, I stop short at the sound of a familiar voice. A familiar angry voice…

 

“I said I'm fine!” Ran? My head whips around as I scan the area for the source.

 

“Fujimiya-san, I still think it would be a good idea to keep you over night for observation.”

 

“Why? You said yourself that it's not a concussion. I'm fine. Ken, let's go home.”

 

“But Aya—”

 

“Now!”

 

“Fujimiya-san, please be reasonable!”

 

There. There they are! To the right, a little ways down a hallway, stands a doctor, Ken, and Ran. Ran's wearing normal pants, but he still has a hospital gown on. Where's his…oh! Hah! The doctor's holding it. Probably caught the bastard trying to change so he can walk out of here… That's my Ran.

 

My Ran… “Ran!” I run up to him, and he looks at me with so much surprise and disbelief, and dare I say happiness?

 

“Yohji? What are you doing here?”

 

“I told Omi about it, and also had their tickets changed.” I hadn't even noticed Birman, but she walks up to us, turning off her cell phone.

 

Ran flashes her a glare. God I love his glares… They make his eyes flash this certain way that's just amazing. “Why did you do that? I'm fine. There was no need to worry them.”

 

“I didn't know exactly what your condition was, and also thought that they would wish to know about a team member getting injured.” She gives me a meaningful glance and I feel my lips smirk. It was because of what she walked in on the other day.

 

Omi suddenly runs up to us, giving me a weak glare. “There you are, Yohji! If you had stayed calm instead of jumping out of the cab like a crazy man, I could have explained…”

 

Beside me Ran sighs and rubs at his temples. They were talking about it not being a concussion, which means that he must have gotten hit on the head. I'm sure all of us being frustrating isn't exactly helping whatever headache that caused… “Doesn't matter… Let's just go home.”

 

“Fujimiya-san, I really do think it would be best if…”

 

“It's fine, Ueda-sensei.” Birman smiles at the doctor, in a way that is either supposed to comfort him or intimidate him. I can't quite be sure… “Fujimiya-san may return with his friends.”

 

As if that's the queue he needed, Ran snatches his shirt out of the doctor's hands then rips off his hospital gown. Everyone else blushes a little at his action, but I just stare at his torso and think about how much I'd love to touch it. But I can't. We're in public… I want to hold him, kiss him, tell him how glad I am to see that he's alright… But I can't. I—wait… Bandages. He has bandages on his shoulder and on his left side at his waist. And marks around his…neck.

 

“What happened?” my own voice hisses out. Ran freezes in the motion of pulling his shirt on, but he doesn't look at me. If he's not going to answer me, fine. I look to the doctor. “What happened?”

 

Out of the corner of my eye, I see Ran slowly finish pulling his shirt on. The doctor lowers his voice, knowing that despite this being a Kritiker hospital, there are people here that are not part of the organization. Bright man. “He has a few bullet grazes. The one on his side was a bit deep, just shy of actually being a bullet hole. It needed stitches. It also seems that after the bullets ran out, the man hit him over the head with his gun. After that didn't work, he tried strangling Fujimiya-san.”

 

“Hn. But I won.” If it were any other time, I would probably take appreciate the fact that Ran just attempted to lighten the mood with a joke. After all, Ran doesn't usually joke, so it's a rare treat. But at the moment, I'm too…shaken.

 

I turn back to Ran and lift my hand up to lightly run my fingers along his bruised neck. It's too close to being like the dream. I don't like that. He's giving me a strange look, but I continue to touch him. It's not a bad look…just…confused…or worried. Birman says something to the doctor about how she'll handle the release forms, then tells us that we can go ahead and leave. Then she shoos the doctor off and follows, leaving the four of us alone. Omi tells Ken that our bags are waiting at the information desk, and they head off to move them to Ran's Porsche. Now it's just Ran and me, but I still can't kiss him or hold him like I want to. It's still too public. But you know what?... Fuck it. I lean close and give him a quick kiss. I'd love to do more, but I shouldn't. And we should go. Yeah… Let's go home.

 

“Come on, Ran. Let's get you home.”

 

He gives a little nod and we walk side by side out to his car. We get there just as Ken shuts the trunk at the front of the car. I walk over to him and place my hand on his shoulder, startling him a little. “Give me the keys.” Without even hesitating, he starts to hold the keys out to me.

 

“Exactly what do you think you're doing?” Ran's beside me again, glaring, and reaching to intercept the keys.

 

I manage to snatch them before he can and hold them behind my back. “I'm driving.”

 

“Like hell you are, Kudou! This is my car. It's bad enough Ken drove it last night.” He's so hot when he's angry…

 

“You're hurt, Ran. You need your rest.” Oooo…I got a nice hard glare for that one. But at least he's not arguing anymore. He just sighs and heads over to the passenger side. I unlock the doors and open mine, folding the seat up so Omi and Ken can slip into the back, then put it back into place so I can slide in and get situated. Ran glares at me some more as he buckles himself in, but I just blow him a kiss. To my delighted surprise, the glare lessens and he turns to have a staring contest with the glove box.

 

“Just don't wreck my car. You do and I…” He trails off, turning his head just enough to cast a quick glance in the back.

 

“And you'll what?” I can't help but prod. I'm curious to see just what he feels he can threaten me with.

 

His cheeks show the sort of flexing that indicates he's gritting his teeth behind his closed lips. Smirking, I stick the key into the ignition. Yeah, I didn't think he was going to say anything… “You do and I won't return the favor from the other day.” Oh. Well, maybe he will say. Still, I can't help but tease…

 

“What favor?” Nice nonchalant voice, Kudou. Bravo. Now, turn the car on. Mmm…nice purr. I mean, it's no Super Seven, but…

 

Ran's growl joins with the engine's purr, creating an interesting mix. “Ok, consider it this way: If you wreck my car, I won't ever even touch your dick.”

 

Ken starts sputtering in the backseat and a glance in the rearview mirror shows Omi blushing to the tips of his hair. I can't help it, I laugh. As I pull out of the parking spot and head towards the road, I laugh long and hard. If this is how things would be if Ran and I were in a relationship, then maybe it wouldn't be so bad. I'd get to continuously see Ken and Omi react like that, and I'd have Ran as mine to hold and be with as I please. And… The truth is… I do care. If I didn't, then I wouldn't have been so worried. Although worried is putting it mildly. Scared nearly shitless. The thought of him being badly hurt terrified me more than I wished to admit. And the relief at finding he was ok… That was… That was tremendous.

 

Once on the highway, everyone starts to settle down. Eventually the other three fall asleep, leaving me alone with my thoughts and the eight hours of driving ahead. Occasionally I glance at Ran, doing my best to ignore the bruises at his neck. Everything I was thinking about this morning seems to be shifting. The resolutions I made are starting to crumble. It's too late for me to try to deny any of it, I realize. I'm falling. No… I've fallen. A long time ago, I think. I just never wanted to admit it. Couldn't admit it. Because if I did, it wouldn't have done any good. I never thought he could be mine. Never. And even now—even knowing that he wants me—I still don't know if he can be mine. Really mine.

 

He said the other day that he's wanted me for years. But wanted me how? Does he see me as something more than a potentially good fuck? And god, I sound like a girl now… I should just take what I can get. Seriously. It's miracle enough that he's not only interested in men, but interested in me as well. I wonder how much longer we would have gone without knowing that we were attracted to each other, if it wasn't for that guy the other night. Someday I should thank him. Maybe. Depends on how things turn out between Ran and me… I mean, this could all go horribly wrong. In a moment of passion I could blurt out my feelings and then he could just glare at me and tell me in no uncertain terms that he doesn't feel the same way. And that would be it. Over. No more us. Or confirmation that there never was an us. And either way it would hurt like a son of a bitch. And then I'd be cursing that bastard with Ran's name for starting it all.

 

Ran lets out a sleepy little moan and rolls his head against the headrest, trying to get more comfortable. With his head turned to face me, his eyes open a little. God, he's so… My hand reaches out and touches his thigh. I wish I could touch more. I want to hold him. “I'm glad you're ok,” I whisper, not wanting to wake the other two up. “I was worried.”

 

“Both hands on the wheel, Yohji. I meant what I said about if you wreck my car.” A little smirk plays at his lips, and I return it as I place my hand back on the wheel. Before I have much time to miss the contact, his hand moves to rest on my thigh. “There,” he says with a drowsy smile, “Now you can still have both hands on the wheel…”

 

Something in my heart clenches. It's a strange feeling... One that I haven't felt in years. And I know…I just know…that I need this. I need him. Having him tell me that he doesn't feel the same just isn't an option. If I have to, I'll make him fall for me. I'll do whatever I can, lay on all the charm, whatever it takes.

 

Fujimiya Ran will be mine.

 

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To be continued…