Weiss Kreuz Fan Fiction ❯ Fluesternd ❯ Part 16 ( Chapter 16 )
[ T - Teen: Not suitable for readers under 13 ]
By: Crimson 
Yes, ladies and gentlemen, we have a new member.
Anime/Manga: Weiss Kreuz Fan Fiction | Genre(s): Psychological | Type: Other | Uploaded On: 08.19.2002 | Pages: 5 | Words: 6.7K | Visits: 288 | Status: Completed
Yes, ladies and gentlemen, we have a new member.
Anime/Manga: Weiss Kreuz Fan Fiction | Genre(s): Psychological | Type: Other | Uploaded On: 08.19.2002 | Pages: 5 | Words: 6.7K | Visits: 288 | Status: Completed
*****16*****
Nothing is more deceptive than your own reflection.
Think about it. When we finally look ourselves full in the face, through whatever reflective surface we ascribe to, it is either to mask our imperfections, or to check up on the ones we already masked. No one ever wants to see the truth beneath the surface, so what makes us believe we ever really do?
If you could peel away - layer by layer - every inch of your skin, do you imagine you would find a porcelain doll of flawlessness underneath? Certainly not. You would run screaming in the other direction. If you hadn't already passed out from the pain, that is. Sometimes what lies on the inside is a bit hard to handle. Then again, sometimes what remains on the outside is even more frightening.
So how do we deal? How do we accept what exists within us, while trying to let go of the protective barriers we have created to pretend it isn't there?
We try.
We struggle, fall a little along the way, cry and scream every second, and if we're lucky, somehow we make it through. I hope I'm not making it sound easy, because it isn't. It is, however, necessary, even if we are to stubborn to embrace what it offers us.
I have never been fond of mirrors. They show too much, and not enough. Most of the time, it is as if you are seeing everything you do not want to see, while being denied everything you wish you could.
Thank God for those who help us see what reflections cannot show us...
*****
"......Hilfe......jemand...jeder... ..." Schuldrich mumbles in his sleep, tossing and turning on the bed. He has been lying in Hiromi's room ever since the events below, but only recently have his dreams turned against him. "...fortgehen...la......LASSEN MICH ALLEIN!"
Jade eyes spring open, jolted awake by the force of the visions in his head. Schu's eyes are blurred, blinking to make out his surroundings, and there is an ache in every bone in his body, making it difficult to breathe.
"Awww, did you have a nightmare, little boy?" a teasing, feminine voice sounds from somewhere close by - a very familiar, feminine voice. "Serves you right, I'd say, after what you did to us. But that's mean of me. After all, it's not as if you can fight back."
Gradually, Schuldrich's eyes begin to focus, and he recognizes where he is. Not too long ago he had been spying through the shutters of this very room, just as he had through all the windows of this building, though now he is a prisoner within its walls.
"What's going on...?" coughs out his raspy voice, strained from countless, unremembered screams, as he labors to turn his head in the direction of his captor's voice.
"You messed up, pretty boy, and now you belong to us."
The figure seated next to the bed comes into view, revealing long, blonde hair, sky-blue eyes, intoxicating curves, and a playful, little smirk that reminds Schuldrich far too much of his own.
"Well...if it isn't...one of the kitties next door." Schu comments half-heartedly, very unlike himself, though obviously trying desperately to appear as if this whole ordeal hasn't phased him in the least. "...now...what was that...you said......you think...I belong to *you*......hehe......don't...make me laugh..."
The accustomed sarcasm riddles his words, but it comes across weak - forced. It isn't easy to revert back into the comfort of your devilish, little self after being so rudely awakened by a past you had pleasantly forgotten.
Hiromi leans back in her chair, waiting expectantly for Schuldrich to attempt whatever move he plans to make, though she doesn't seem too worried. Appearing as if he means to spring from the bed and make some dashing exit, the fatigued German jolts up in bed - just as she imagined he would - but instantly falls back with a cringe and cry of pain, as if his muscles are unwilling to listen to him.
"Oh no, you can definitely hold your own in *that* condition." the taunting blonde states with an overly-dramatic yawn.
Naturally, Schu finds this outcome a bit more unsettling than she does. "What the hell did you do to me?!"
"Just injected you with a few powerful muscle relaxants, that's all. Wouldn't want that super-human speed to get the better of us, ne?"
This is most certainly not a good situation for the poor Schwartz member to be in. Not only is he mentally drained and confused, but now his body won't even respond normally to his commands. He is like a drugged mental patient - an invalid - with something far worse than chains or bars holding him captive.
The simple fact of having no control.
"I'd get comfortable if I were you." Hiromi suggests, smiling perhaps a little more sympathetically. "I'm afraid we don't have any plans to let you go. So, even if the meds we gave you wear off, we'll just give you another dose. At least until you start seeing things our way."
With all humor lost from his expression and his voice, Schu grimaces darkly. "I think you better start brainstorming another plan, kitty-cat, because I only see things one way, and that's *my* way. Now, I don't know what you sirens did to Farf and the kid, but your success rate is about to take a nose-dive."
"I'm surprised to hear you say that." his companion replies somberly, though with a hint of devious intentions, as she leans forward with a swift toss of golden hair. "I mean, if I had just seen a repressed memory from my childhood that's been giving me nightmares ever since I passed out from the trauma, I'd be a little more open to the people trying to help me through it." Hiromi pauses, smiling pointedly as Schu takes in her blunt analysis, and then slips from her chair to kneel on the floor, bringing her much closer to his immobile form on the bed. "But, then again, I'm not you, am I......Emery?"
Every weakened muscle in Schuldrich's body tenses, sending spasms of piercing pain through billions of enflamed nerve cells. But he doesn't call out, only winces, and clenches his teeth while glaring dangerously back into Hiromi's baby-blue eyes.
"That...is not...my name." he growls, forced to clench his eyes shut in order to banish the resurfacing images of what he had been shown down below. "You have no right...you don't know-"
"But I do know." she interrupts, looking him full in the face without an ounce of fear. "What you saw, what you relived, I saw, too. Quite a few of us did, thanks to your power mixed with Nori bringing up those memories. The way I see it, since Emery *is* your real name, I have every right to use it."
If they listened close enough, they would be able to hear every single creak of the building resettling around them against the cool, night air; so much time passed with nothing said, without a breath released, as Hiromi seated herself back in her chair, and looked down at Schuldrich patiently.
Finally, after realizing her hostage probably won't be jumping at the chance to initiate new conversation, Hiromi speaks up again. "You're looking at this as if we've made you a prisoner, when all we want is to help you understand that you have no place with Schwartz." she explains, sounding wiser than most people would ever expect her to. "You don't need it. That adorable, little boy I had the pleasure of seeing inside of you doesn't need it either. And I think...just maybe...he doesn't even want it."
"Hn. You think you know me so well?" Schu snaps back. "The only things you know about me are the things you want to believe. Truth is, Schwartz is the only thing I've ever needed. I'd like to see you convince me otherwise, because there is no way you could ever understand what that little boy went through, and why he hates the world so much."
Cornflower eyes implore with brutal force for acceptance as Hiromi stares back at him, all her mocking tone flooded away. "I thought you could read minds." she speaks softly, with a melancholy smile. "Go ahead, take a look into mine. I think you'll find I understand exactly how that little boy felt. Not only did I lose a friend - who was all the family I had in the world - to the dark intentions of what a man's mind can cook up, but just like you I lost a part of myself. Childhood. The idea of even having a man *look* at me, for years! Go ahead. See for yourself......"
For a moment, Schuldrich just looks at her, unable to throw out a come-back, or do anything. But eventually, his jade eyes begin to unfocus, and he seems to be looking right through her, searching for whatever it is she means for him to find.
A sharp intake of breath signals when his investigation uncovers what he had been hunting for, and as he comes back into himself, those haunting eyes focus back on Hiromi's face, with the disturbing look of horrific comprehension.
"Not a pretty sight, ne?" the buxom blonde smiles warmly. "Maybe it's time you stopped snooping around people's minds so much, and started really seeing what goes on inside."
For once, Schuldrich doesn't have anything to say. What can he say? Any retort he could think up would sound false, because it would be false. Anything else would be admitting that she is right.
And that is something he isn't ready to do.
*****
What can he do? Everyone else is off in the company of someone they feel at ease with, but he can't even imagine being with another human being right now. I suppose it has something to do with being so accustomed to the institutionalized life.
After so many years, Farfarello is almost more at home in an enclosed room than out in the open world.
Tonight, however, he is looking up at the stars from the fire-escape of "Kitten's Cafe," breathing in fresh, twilight air, completely in love with the feeling of freedom, while hating the feeling of being so powerless, even now that he is no longer held back by the chains that once bound him.
(I don't know if I can get used to this feeling of......control.) the young albino muses, hugging his legs against his chest while sitting on the steps beside the open window into the living room. (Thinking clearly......letting things be what they are...and......not blaming every heartache on...You......and...what You did to me......on what *I* did...what happened......)
Unexpectedly, a few stubborn tears begin flooding his tawny iris, though he doesn't really understand why. Truthfully, he doesn't care; he cherishes the feeling of warmth and wetness as they slide down his face. He cherishes feeling anything these days, now that he has once again learned how.
(I'm not worried about myself...anymore. I just can't stop thinking about *him*.) Farfie continues, as if having a conversation with himself and God at the same time. Conversational prayer. (I never knew those things about him. He didn't either, I suppose. But...what do we do now? What if......what if he doesn't see things the way Nagi and I have started to see? It wouldn't be the same without him. It wouldn't be right......)
Slowly, Farfarello, reaches into his back pocket and pulls out a small piece of yellow cloth. He smiles. It's strange how something so simple can bring so much peace, just as the simple act of holding each other is bringing so much peace to Nagi and Toto, seated on the floor just beneath the window inside.
A cool breeze blows in steadily from above them, keeping them awake despite the late hour, while at the same time forcing them to snuggles in close to one another in order to keep the chill from making them uncomfortable. They haven't spoken much since Toto recovered from her nightmare, but the memory of it haunts the young girl so fiercely, she almost fears the tender touch Nagi offers by brushing a tear from her face.
"Toto...are you alright?" he whispers in concern, trying to look her in the eyes, though she can't bring herself to look back at him. "Please, tell me. I hate seeing you like this. Is it because of the dream Schuldrich gave you? Is that why you're being so quiet?"
Slipping silently out of his grasp, Toto turns away, her voice small and timid as she speaks. "Hai, Nagi-kun. It was so scary." she admits, visibly shaking as she remembers what she had been shown. "Everything was so wonderful at first. We were living together, and we were so happy. But...you...you weren't the Nagi-kun I know. You were mean and...you tried......to hurt me..."
"...Toto..." Nagi breathes, distressed and ashamed for causing her pain, even if it was only a dream.
"You...said such horrible things......did such horrible things..." the aqua-haired girl goes on, hugging herself around the shoulders. "...the way......Papa used to..."
Collapsing into tears, Toto sobs and shivers, still facing away from the young man beside her. Though Nagi can't bear to see her so heartbroken, he isn't really sure what he can do to make her feel better. For her, having a dream like that would've been the worst experience, dragging up the worst memories from a time she had finally began to put behind her. How can he make that go away?
Empowered with the greatest force of all - unconditional love - Nagi does the only thing he can. Lunging forward, the small brunette wraps his arms tightly around Toto from behind, pulling her against his chest as if he means to hold on forever.
Actually, that is exactly what he means to do.
"I will never hurt you, Toto. I promise." pours out his desperate words. "Whatever things I said or did...they were just an illusion." A crystalline tear streaks down his face, as he pauses, taking a deep breath. "Ai shiteru, Toto. Always. And, as you say, we don't hurt the ones we love. We do everything we can to protect them and make them feel safe. Please...please believe me......"
Turning back to him, there is only one reply Toto needs to give. "Ai shiteru, Nagi-kun." she whimpers, throwing her arms just as strongly around him as he had around her, and forming so perfectly against him, one might think they were made to fit together. Two pieces of the same puzzle, shaped to intertwine flawlessly.
It is one of the greatest expressions of love, to simply be with someone, and to know you belong with them. The same is true even for the love of a true friend, and Omi and Youji are prime examples of the power of friendship, simply by sitting at the kitchen table together, sipping from the warm drinks in their hands.
The brisk, night air has penetrated far enough inside the apartment to convert even this space into a slightly unbearable environment, with the tiled floor and buzzing refrigerator adding to the cold. However, the young men enjoying each others' quiet company are flushed - perhaps from more than just their tea.
"Youji-kun...? We...are we friends?" Omi asks candidly, staring down into the contents of his mug.
Alarmed by this point-blank inquiry, the emerald-eyed, young man nearly spills his drink onto his lap. "Nani? How can you ask that? We'll always be friends, Omiitchi. Don't you think we are?"
"Hai, of course I do!" the little blonde mends, setting his mug down on the table, and looking up into his companions startled face with a sheepish smile. "It's only...the dream I had. All of you......you left me...gave me over to our enemies......like I didn't matter...or mean anything to you. I know it wasn't real, but......it scared me."
This is something Youji definitely understands. "I know what you mean. My dream wasn't all that peachy either. I was just some pathetic, aging man, and the rest of you were all...dead...because of something *I* did......or didn't do. Maybe...maybe I was even the one who killed you. I don't know. But...I know things would never turn out that way. I love you guys! You can't work with someone for years, watching their backs, living in the same home, and not feel *something*, ne?"
Sometimes there are moments when everything feels complete - when everything feels right - and anything is possible. Unfortunately, these rare moments are usually interrupted long before they should be, and this time is no exception.
"KAWAII!!"
The affectionate exchange between Omi and Youji is abruptly imposed upon as a very energetic Amaya appears in the kitchen doorway, having seen everything from her eavesdropping perch.
"I came in to get a glass of warm water to help me sleep, and what do I find? You're like two bishounen from a shounen ai manga!" the short brunette exclaims, bounding in next to the table. "That was just so sweet."
"Shounen ai!?!" Omi repeats wildly, with reddened cheeks and wide, blue eyes. "Amaya-chan, what are you implying? I don't know what you think you heard, but you -"
"Caught us." Youji interjects casually, leaning back in his chair. "Really, *koi*, there's no point in denying it. The little fairy-child caught us red-handed. We might as well fess up."
A thrilled giggle escapes Amaya's lips, though Omi can barely produce a single sound. While the overjoyed, young woman proceeds to rant and rave about how she just knew something was going on between the two, Youji bends over to whisper in his little friend's ear, still grinning broadly over his ingenious plan.
"Just go with it, bishounen. Look how happy I've made her."
Omi begins to protest, but Youji silences him, covering his mouth swiftly with a large hand.
"Shhh. Play along." the older man chides. "I've got this worked out perfectly. Follow my lead and you'll be getting exactly what you want."
For some strange reason, Omi has a hard time finding his friend's words reassuring. (What *I* want...?)
"Sumimasen, Amaya?" Youji begins, cutting in to the brunette's flowing conversation with...herself. "I have something to ask of you now that you know our little secret."
Sitting down in the empty chair between the two young men, Amaya beams with all the evil thoughts fluttering around inside her head, but gives Youji all her attention. "Anything, Yo-chan! Are you two hoping to add another playmate to the mix? I'd be happy to volunteer."
The seductive look she tosses Omi sends chills down the poor boy's spine, and he swears the room just shot up a few degrees, finding this whole situation very unsettling.
"I'm afraid that's not what I had in mind." Youji corrects, to Omi's extreme relief. "Actually, we've decided to give each other up. You see, Omi has his eye on someone else, and - though it pains me to let him go - I just can't stand in the way of true love."
At last, the direction Youji is going with this charade is becoming clear to the blue-eyed boy, and though Omi at first feels he should step in and put an end to all this, he finds himself remaining silent. Perhaps there is something to the playboy's tactics after all. He may not be very good at holding on to a woman himself these days, but he has always proved to be an incredible match-maker.
"Sugoi! Are you saying Bombay-kitten feels the same way about me as I feel about him?" Amaya asks excitedly, poised to glomp the boy beside her should the answer be what she is hoping for.
Youji throws Omi a sly wink. "You guessed it. He's too shy to admit the truth himself, but the poor kid is crazy about you."
Fearful - yet hopeful - pause.
"I knew it!" Amaya cries, diving over the table to capture Omi in her arms. "I'm very perceptive when it comes to these things. But...are you sure about this? I wouldn't want to come between you two?"
"Ummm..."Omi begins, smiling weakly while trying to pry Amaya off. "...can I say something?"
"No." Youji smirks, turning instantly to their thrilled companion. "Trust me, Amaya. We've had our fun, but you two were meant for each other. I'll be alright. There's always a few fish I keep hooked in case a relationship doesn't work out."
Adjusting to Amaya's hold as best he can, Omi's not exactly sure whether he came out of this unscathed or not. Sure, he cares for Amaya very much, and with his track record the chances of him ever fessing up on his own would have been slim to none, but is the little, white lie Youji just told going to come back and haunt him?
Most likely.
Things often come back to haunt us, usually because we don't deal with them appropriately when we have the chance. Ken certainly knows the truth in that. No matter how many years pass, he still blames himself for the deaths of his family members. Equally, Nori blames herself for her brother's disappearance, and both of them are far too stubborn to ever see things in a brighter light.
Having slipped down the stairs into the darkened shop below, Ken and Nori are seated at the cafe stand, picking at stale danishes that had been put away under the counter from the other day. They haven't said much, but Ken was the one who suggested they escape somewhere more private, and Nori is eager to understand why.
"Are we just going to sit here all night, stuffing our faces, or are you going to tell me why we're down here?" she asks frankly, eyeing him from over the top of her glasses.
Ken fidgets awhile with his doughnut, staring down at his bare feet. Both of them are still dressed for bed: Nori in a tank top and pajama pants, and Ken in his worn-in sweats and a T-shirt he had slipped on before the group had gone down to the basement.
"I...wanted to tell you......about the nightmare I had." the brunette starts off, looking anywhere and everywhere but at the woman next to him. "It had to do with...my family......my brother, mostly. That's why I...I just can't talk about it with the guys. Not yet. But I have to tell someone. It's driving me crazy."
To put it mildly, Nori is a little surprised by this admission, and can't help blushing slightly at how Ken feels he can trust her enough to share something so personal. Of course, they have already shared with one another things they hadn't shared with anyone before. It's funny, they feel so at ease opening their hearts to each other.
"I'll tell you what, Siberian......if you tell me your dream......I'll tell you mine." Nori smiles, not truly understanding the rapid pace of her pulse, but adoring the savage beating ringing in her ears.
Looking up at last into Nori's silver eyes, Ken smiles back at her, and then sighs deeply, gathering his thoughts. "I was in the shop when he came in. Toshiro. It felt so right having him there, like he'd never left me. But...then he asked me to go outside with him, and everything changed. I was suddenly in the alley where......he was killed." his voice catches in his throat a little, but he refuses to 't let it stop him. "It was like seeing it happen all over again. There he was, struggling with the man who attacked us, and screaming for me to run away and save myself. Back then, the night it really happened, I listened to him. I was nothing but a damn coward! I actually listened and ran away!"
Angered tears find their way down Ken's face, and his fists are clenched so tight, all the blood is rushing away. Nori doesn't interrupt him though, even if a part of her wants to immediately dispel the young man's beliefs. She knows he needs to let this out, and say what he feels needs to be said.
"Well, this time I wasn't going to run away." Ken continues, glaring out into space with ferocious intent. "I wasn't going to let my aniki die again just because I was too afraid to help him. I ran down there, as fast as I could, but...I was still too late. Even knowing that, I ran on, after the killer, determined to make him pay. And......when I caught him......he was...me. I was the killer. Always the killer. And one by one my parents...Toshiro...they all came towards me out of the shadows, condemning me for the life I've led, and the things I've done. For everyone that died because of me. All because of...me......"
The overcome young man breaks, sobbing helplessly, though fighting so hard to keep his tears away.
Honestly, this isn't exactly an area of expertise that Nori is well versed in - comforting others - though for some unknown reason she has an uncanny knack for it. In a heartbeat, she bridges the separation between them and holds Ken closely against her chest, allowing him to cry openly on her shoulder while tendrils of curled, navy hair brush his skin.
We are all children, called to act as mothers and fathers, sister and brothers, friends and lovers, to each and every other person in the world. It is a calling few hear, but all are summoned to.
"It was only a nightmare. I'm sure your family doesn't blame you for the things that happened to them, or for the things you have had to do over the years." Nori soothes, speaking tenderly into his ear. "I know it must be very hard, wondering if they're ashamed of the things you've done, but if they are anything like you, I am certain that they're not. They are proud of you. They would have to be."
Gradually, Ken pulls away, and laughs a little while wiping at his tears. "You must think I'm such an idiot for crying over some stupid dream." he states shamefully. "It's just...lately...I've been blaming myself more and more for what happened to Toshiro. Awhile back, Weiss ran into a young man trying to avenge his parents' death. Akira. He reminded me so much of Toshiro, and I wanted to help him any way I could. But I wasn't strong enough. Wasn't fast enough. I couldn't save him, just like I couldn't save my aniki. I know I shouldn't blame myself, and you're probably right about everything. It's just so -"
"Hard." Nori finishes, tenderly placing a hand on his shoulder. "I know. It's hard not to blame yourself, especially when you are the only one left alive to blame. But that is what your friends are here for. They're here to make you feel better, and remind you that you are not alone. Even if you aren't ready to tell them what happened to your family, they are still here for you. And......so am I."
Darkness is a warm blanket in the dead of night, wrapping snuggly around you and keeping you safe from the chill and brutality of light. By the cafe stand it is very dark with all the overhead lights turned off, but the dim lighting of the moon and stars outside cast just enough of a silvery glow on Ken and Nori's features to offer each other more peace and tranquillity than either feel they deserve.
Regaining his lost control, Ken smiles over at his companion in gratitude, feeling more at home than he has in a very long time. "Your turn." he says simply.
"Oh." Nori breathes, having forgotten she promised to return the favor with her own story. "My dream seems so pointless now. I was just......alone. Completely alone. Everyone had left because I kept saying that I didn't need them, even though I really did...really do. I suppose, it all goes back to my aniki, too, and how I keep thinking he left me because of something I did."
"Which you now know couldn't possibly be the case." Ken cuts in with a know-it-all smirk. "At least, you can't expect me to allow you to think that way. If your brother is still out there, I'm sure he had a reason for leaving, and one day you'll find out the truth."
Nori shakes her head in defeat, laughing a little herself. "We compliment each other well, don't we, Siberian?"
"I guess we do." he replies softly, and then raises an eyebrow like a scrutinizing teacher. "But for the last time, would you call me 'Ken'? I'm so sick of code names I could scream. Ne, Nori-chan?"
Giggling slightly from so easily forgetting herself, Nori nods. "Hai......Ken."
And times ticks on, well into the morning, with an array of varied conversations and revelations. Nevertheless, they will all eventually have to go to sleep.
*****
She was finally asleep.
In Hiromi's suffocating room in the apartment above, the lights are dim and soothing, and all sound around and within has calmed like the eye of a hurricane. The beautiful blonde seated next to the bed, charged with watching over the dangerous young man lying in it, is snoozing away, too exhausted to keep her snow-blue eyes open another minute.
Sensing the stillness outside the room, and noting the advantage he now has over his guardian, Schuldrich smiles cleverly, pulling back the covers, and achingly touching his feet to the floor, though it pains him with every contraction his muscles make.
The injection he received is still in effect, but with a quick mindsweep of those in the building, he is confident he can sneak his way free undetected, without having to resort to his uncanny speed.
Dragging himself to the door, it is as if he has aged 50 years, and it takes him far longer to reach it than he anticipated. However, when he finally does, he throws a smirking glance back at the slumbering woman behind him, and then grandly opens the door, stepping into the empty, darkened hallway.
Cautiously, the weakened German gives his surroundings a once over. (Piece of cake.) he thinks deviously. (Guess they don't know me as well as they think.)
He takes a step forward then, but in an instant, he unexpectedly freezes, sensing that he is not as alone as he had first thought.
"You're going back to him, aren't you?"
Schuldrich tenses, flinching from the discomfort it causes, but slowly turns to face the shadows that have spoken. From around the corner, young Naoe Nagi appears, illuminated by the moon shining in through the window at the far end of the hall. His expression is unreadable, but something in his storm-cloud eyes......Schu can't explain.
"What do you care, kid? I figured you'd be the first one to jump at the chance to get rid of me." the red-head sneers, narrowing his gaze. "So why don't you just turn around, forget that you saw me, and go on living your happy, little life. The only reason you're even thinking of stopping me is to make sure your half-witted girlfriend doesn't get hurt when Brad makes his move."
To Schuldrich's overpowering surprise, Nagi looks truly hurt by the words spoken to him, and in a blind flurry, the young boy rushes towards his older teammate, and wraps frail arms tightly around the German's waist, hugging him like a small child would hug his mother.
Schu holds stunned and rigid, at an utter loss.
"Please...please don't go back to him!" Nagi cries, holding so firmly, it is almost difficult for Schuldrich to breathe. "You know what he's doing is wrong. You just want to go back because you think there's no other place for you to go, but you're wrong. Stay here. Stay with us. I don't......want you to go..."
Unable to return the gesture, the red-head merely stands stiff, shaking his head in misunderstanding. "What's the deal? I thought you hated me......"
A sudden shuffling of feet from the same corner Nagi had come from draws Schu's attention away, while the smaller boy continues to hang on for dear life, sobbing softly against his chest.
Stepping into the light, Farfarello joins the reunion, looking just as unreadable as Nagi first had. "And I thought you could read minds." the albino whispers, repeating the same phrase he had once spoken long ago, and that Hiromi had so recently used herself. "You should know how he really feels. You should know how I feel, too, but somehow, I don't think you do."
Schuldrich doesn't know what to say. The last time he saw his teammates, they were so different. Nagi always so melancholy and quiet, barking to be left alone. And Farfarello forever the masochist, hating God and every one of God's creatures to the point of insanity.
Could the strange women living in this home be so powerful, they changed the unchangeable?
Continuing to look on with dumbfounded features, Schu watches as Farfie reaches into his back pocket and pulls out a very familiar accessory. One that - though the red-head hardly wears it anymore - oddly means so much to him. It is the faded, yellow bandanna he had been robbed of.
"At the time, I really didn't understand why I wanted it." Farfarello explains, stepping forward, while fingering the cloth in his hands. "But I do now. I wanted something to remember you by. To remember how I felt when I was with you, even if I didn't believe in feelings anymore." the Irishman pauses to place the bandanna in Schuldrich's hand. "You said we were friends once. Did you mean that?"
"We're more than just friends." Nagi pipes in softly, muffled by the folds of Schu's unbuttoned shirt. "That's what you can never see, even if you do look inside our minds. We are all each other has. Family. To Hell with what Crawford wants! All *we* really want is to be together, not to hurt people anymore. We don't need to."
Trembling from far more than just the medication surging through his veins, Schuldrich slowly places his hands around Nagi's small frame in reply to those meaningful words, looking up at Farfie - so close to them - with watery eyes.
"Give these women a chance. Give Weiss a chance." the albino pleads. "I know it feels strange, but deep in your heart you have to know that this is what you really want. Freedom."
A daring tear slips down the flustered German's face as he holds tighter to his diminutive friend, and looks as if he is about to reply to the words of both his companions, using true honesty for the first time in a long time.
However, the words don't quite get out before......
"AHHHHH!!!"
Piercing throughout the apartment, an echoing screech has emitted from the room Schu just recently escaped from. Clearly, Hiromi has awaked, discovering that her charge is no longer where he should be.
Instantly, the thunder of many approaching feet begins coming from all sides. Two alarmed red-heads appear from within Aiko's room; Toto, Amaya, Youji, and Omi all pop in at the end of the hallway that leads into the living room, with Ken and Nori close behind since they had already been on their way upstairs; and Hiromi wildly slams open her door with a horrified expression.
"HE'S GONE!!" she screams, just before realizing that *he* is actually standing practically right in front of her, with a blushing Nagi attached to his waist, and an amazingly calm Farfarello right beside them.
The gathered crew is thrown into silence, looking on in disbelief and confusion at the scene before them, wondering what to make of it, and what to do next.
Turning his jade gaze on all of them, Schuldrich eyes the onlookers carefully, wondering what to do himself, but with a heartfelt glance at Farfie, and the chibi holding onto him, he can't help smirking.
He has finally made up his mind.
"So..." the sly red-head begins, in a strengthening, nasal voice. "Anyone have any ideas for a plan?"
*****
The plan no longer matters. Now, he is the only one who can carry out the mission.
A few minutes ago, the most disturbing vision Brad Crawford has ever seen drifted into his mind. Every last one of his loyal follows is now against him, and there is nothing he can do to bring them back.
Obviously, this news didn't cross the American all too well, and after savagely wreaking havoc upon what was left of the cell in the basement where Farfie once lived, and the small quarters that so recently belonged to Naoe Nagi, he is now thrashing madly about in the uniquely decorated room that Schuldrich once occupied and loved so much.
"I'll tear those traitors apart!" Brad bellows, throwing a brightly colored chair across the room to smash into the full length mirror set against the wall. "They think they can just walk away and betray me?! I made them what they are!!"
Posters are torn, trinkets crushed, and the bed slashed with a gunshot through the pillow, leaving the room in shambles even more devastating than what became of the others. Never before has the infuriated, young man lost control so completely, but this display certainly makes up for all the lost years of stiff-necked reactions.
Pulsing further with rage and longings to destroy, Brad leaves the damage behind him, heading for the time-shift room, like a dimension all its own, lining the walls with stars and darkness. The computer blinks at him as he enters, still on with remnants of last night's work on the screen, while the ancient text stolen all those days ago lies on the desk in front of it.
Toiling diligently, Brad has been working on deciphering the archaic language of the book in order to use what he needs of it when the time comes. His work is nearly complete now, and the day of reckoning is approaching.
Despite his fueled anger, the dark-haired American grins evilly at the open tome in front of him, wiping the sweat from his face after the fatigue of his rampage. "Soon......all of them will pay." he rants feverishly, snatching up the book. "Even on my own, I will not fail. The world will know the agonizing perfection of being wiped clean. The power of hatred! And there is nothing Weiss, Fluesternd, or those double-crossers can do to stop me."
In the weak lighting of his surroundings, Brad's bronze-colored eyes glitter dangerously - deranged - and a laughter far more frightening than Schuldrich's cackle ever could be rings throughout the room, signaling that the fate of the world is about to be decided.
*****A/N*****
Wasn't the Schu/Farfie/Nagi moment beautiful? And Brad loosing his cool? Gotta love it. Also, what do you guys think of 'Emery' for Schu's real name? I forgot to ask before, but I really like it, and feedback is always welcome.
Whoops, I didn't give translations for the German in the last chapter, did I? Well here ya go. The first part, before the flashback:
...no...Father........please stop...please -- ...nein...Vater......bitte halt...bitte...
Second, after flashback:
...voices...only voices...I am alone... -- ...Stimmen...nur Stimmen...Ich bin allein...
Aiko's words:
Peace, my child. -- Frieden, mein Kind.
And finally, what Schu said at the beginning of this chapter:
......help......someone...anyone...... -- ......Hilfe......jemand...jeder......
And:
...go away...lea......LEAVE ME ALONE! -- ...fortgehen...la......LASSEN MICH ALLEIN!
OK, that's everything. Hope you're liking...AND REVIEWING!! As for whether I take philosophy....I don't. However, I seem to have an understanding of the human psyche, at least, in my own twisted way, that I'm glad you like.
Next, what to do about Brad, and something very special for Ran. :-) Smooches!
Nothing is more deceptive than your own reflection.
Think about it. When we finally look ourselves full in the face, through whatever reflective surface we ascribe to, it is either to mask our imperfections, or to check up on the ones we already masked. No one ever wants to see the truth beneath the surface, so what makes us believe we ever really do?
If you could peel away - layer by layer - every inch of your skin, do you imagine you would find a porcelain doll of flawlessness underneath? Certainly not. You would run screaming in the other direction. If you hadn't already passed out from the pain, that is. Sometimes what lies on the inside is a bit hard to handle. Then again, sometimes what remains on the outside is even more frightening.
So how do we deal? How do we accept what exists within us, while trying to let go of the protective barriers we have created to pretend it isn't there?
We try.
We struggle, fall a little along the way, cry and scream every second, and if we're lucky, somehow we make it through. I hope I'm not making it sound easy, because it isn't. It is, however, necessary, even if we are to stubborn to embrace what it offers us.
I have never been fond of mirrors. They show too much, and not enough. Most of the time, it is as if you are seeing everything you do not want to see, while being denied everything you wish you could.
Thank God for those who help us see what reflections cannot show us...
*****
"......Hilfe......jemand...jeder... ..." Schuldrich mumbles in his sleep, tossing and turning on the bed. He has been lying in Hiromi's room ever since the events below, but only recently have his dreams turned against him. "...fortgehen...la......LASSEN MICH ALLEIN!"
Jade eyes spring open, jolted awake by the force of the visions in his head. Schu's eyes are blurred, blinking to make out his surroundings, and there is an ache in every bone in his body, making it difficult to breathe.
"Awww, did you have a nightmare, little boy?" a teasing, feminine voice sounds from somewhere close by - a very familiar, feminine voice. "Serves you right, I'd say, after what you did to us. But that's mean of me. After all, it's not as if you can fight back."
Gradually, Schuldrich's eyes begin to focus, and he recognizes where he is. Not too long ago he had been spying through the shutters of this very room, just as he had through all the windows of this building, though now he is a prisoner within its walls.
"What's going on...?" coughs out his raspy voice, strained from countless, unremembered screams, as he labors to turn his head in the direction of his captor's voice.
"You messed up, pretty boy, and now you belong to us."
The figure seated next to the bed comes into view, revealing long, blonde hair, sky-blue eyes, intoxicating curves, and a playful, little smirk that reminds Schuldrich far too much of his own.
"Well...if it isn't...one of the kitties next door." Schu comments half-heartedly, very unlike himself, though obviously trying desperately to appear as if this whole ordeal hasn't phased him in the least. "...now...what was that...you said......you think...I belong to *you*......hehe......don't...make me laugh..."
The accustomed sarcasm riddles his words, but it comes across weak - forced. It isn't easy to revert back into the comfort of your devilish, little self after being so rudely awakened by a past you had pleasantly forgotten.
Hiromi leans back in her chair, waiting expectantly for Schuldrich to attempt whatever move he plans to make, though she doesn't seem too worried. Appearing as if he means to spring from the bed and make some dashing exit, the fatigued German jolts up in bed - just as she imagined he would - but instantly falls back with a cringe and cry of pain, as if his muscles are unwilling to listen to him.
"Oh no, you can definitely hold your own in *that* condition." the taunting blonde states with an overly-dramatic yawn.
Naturally, Schu finds this outcome a bit more unsettling than she does. "What the hell did you do to me?!"
"Just injected you with a few powerful muscle relaxants, that's all. Wouldn't want that super-human speed to get the better of us, ne?"
This is most certainly not a good situation for the poor Schwartz member to be in. Not only is he mentally drained and confused, but now his body won't even respond normally to his commands. He is like a drugged mental patient - an invalid - with something far worse than chains or bars holding him captive.
The simple fact of having no control.
"I'd get comfortable if I were you." Hiromi suggests, smiling perhaps a little more sympathetically. "I'm afraid we don't have any plans to let you go. So, even if the meds we gave you wear off, we'll just give you another dose. At least until you start seeing things our way."
With all humor lost from his expression and his voice, Schu grimaces darkly. "I think you better start brainstorming another plan, kitty-cat, because I only see things one way, and that's *my* way. Now, I don't know what you sirens did to Farf and the kid, but your success rate is about to take a nose-dive."
"I'm surprised to hear you say that." his companion replies somberly, though with a hint of devious intentions, as she leans forward with a swift toss of golden hair. "I mean, if I had just seen a repressed memory from my childhood that's been giving me nightmares ever since I passed out from the trauma, I'd be a little more open to the people trying to help me through it." Hiromi pauses, smiling pointedly as Schu takes in her blunt analysis, and then slips from her chair to kneel on the floor, bringing her much closer to his immobile form on the bed. "But, then again, I'm not you, am I......Emery?"
Every weakened muscle in Schuldrich's body tenses, sending spasms of piercing pain through billions of enflamed nerve cells. But he doesn't call out, only winces, and clenches his teeth while glaring dangerously back into Hiromi's baby-blue eyes.
"That...is not...my name." he growls, forced to clench his eyes shut in order to banish the resurfacing images of what he had been shown down below. "You have no right...you don't know-"
"But I do know." she interrupts, looking him full in the face without an ounce of fear. "What you saw, what you relived, I saw, too. Quite a few of us did, thanks to your power mixed with Nori bringing up those memories. The way I see it, since Emery *is* your real name, I have every right to use it."
If they listened close enough, they would be able to hear every single creak of the building resettling around them against the cool, night air; so much time passed with nothing said, without a breath released, as Hiromi seated herself back in her chair, and looked down at Schuldrich patiently.
Finally, after realizing her hostage probably won't be jumping at the chance to initiate new conversation, Hiromi speaks up again. "You're looking at this as if we've made you a prisoner, when all we want is to help you understand that you have no place with Schwartz." she explains, sounding wiser than most people would ever expect her to. "You don't need it. That adorable, little boy I had the pleasure of seeing inside of you doesn't need it either. And I think...just maybe...he doesn't even want it."
"Hn. You think you know me so well?" Schu snaps back. "The only things you know about me are the things you want to believe. Truth is, Schwartz is the only thing I've ever needed. I'd like to see you convince me otherwise, because there is no way you could ever understand what that little boy went through, and why he hates the world so much."
Cornflower eyes implore with brutal force for acceptance as Hiromi stares back at him, all her mocking tone flooded away. "I thought you could read minds." she speaks softly, with a melancholy smile. "Go ahead, take a look into mine. I think you'll find I understand exactly how that little boy felt. Not only did I lose a friend - who was all the family I had in the world - to the dark intentions of what a man's mind can cook up, but just like you I lost a part of myself. Childhood. The idea of even having a man *look* at me, for years! Go ahead. See for yourself......"
For a moment, Schuldrich just looks at her, unable to throw out a come-back, or do anything. But eventually, his jade eyes begin to unfocus, and he seems to be looking right through her, searching for whatever it is she means for him to find.
A sharp intake of breath signals when his investigation uncovers what he had been hunting for, and as he comes back into himself, those haunting eyes focus back on Hiromi's face, with the disturbing look of horrific comprehension.
"Not a pretty sight, ne?" the buxom blonde smiles warmly. "Maybe it's time you stopped snooping around people's minds so much, and started really seeing what goes on inside."
For once, Schuldrich doesn't have anything to say. What can he say? Any retort he could think up would sound false, because it would be false. Anything else would be admitting that she is right.
And that is something he isn't ready to do.
*****
What can he do? Everyone else is off in the company of someone they feel at ease with, but he can't even imagine being with another human being right now. I suppose it has something to do with being so accustomed to the institutionalized life.
After so many years, Farfarello is almost more at home in an enclosed room than out in the open world.
Tonight, however, he is looking up at the stars from the fire-escape of "Kitten's Cafe," breathing in fresh, twilight air, completely in love with the feeling of freedom, while hating the feeling of being so powerless, even now that he is no longer held back by the chains that once bound him.
(I don't know if I can get used to this feeling of......control.) the young albino muses, hugging his legs against his chest while sitting on the steps beside the open window into the living room. (Thinking clearly......letting things be what they are...and......not blaming every heartache on...You......and...what You did to me......on what *I* did...what happened......)
Unexpectedly, a few stubborn tears begin flooding his tawny iris, though he doesn't really understand why. Truthfully, he doesn't care; he cherishes the feeling of warmth and wetness as they slide down his face. He cherishes feeling anything these days, now that he has once again learned how.
(I'm not worried about myself...anymore. I just can't stop thinking about *him*.) Farfie continues, as if having a conversation with himself and God at the same time. Conversational prayer. (I never knew those things about him. He didn't either, I suppose. But...what do we do now? What if......what if he doesn't see things the way Nagi and I have started to see? It wouldn't be the same without him. It wouldn't be right......)
Slowly, Farfarello, reaches into his back pocket and pulls out a small piece of yellow cloth. He smiles. It's strange how something so simple can bring so much peace, just as the simple act of holding each other is bringing so much peace to Nagi and Toto, seated on the floor just beneath the window inside.
A cool breeze blows in steadily from above them, keeping them awake despite the late hour, while at the same time forcing them to snuggles in close to one another in order to keep the chill from making them uncomfortable. They haven't spoken much since Toto recovered from her nightmare, but the memory of it haunts the young girl so fiercely, she almost fears the tender touch Nagi offers by brushing a tear from her face.
"Toto...are you alright?" he whispers in concern, trying to look her in the eyes, though she can't bring herself to look back at him. "Please, tell me. I hate seeing you like this. Is it because of the dream Schuldrich gave you? Is that why you're being so quiet?"
Slipping silently out of his grasp, Toto turns away, her voice small and timid as she speaks. "Hai, Nagi-kun. It was so scary." she admits, visibly shaking as she remembers what she had been shown. "Everything was so wonderful at first. We were living together, and we were so happy. But...you...you weren't the Nagi-kun I know. You were mean and...you tried......to hurt me..."
"...Toto..." Nagi breathes, distressed and ashamed for causing her pain, even if it was only a dream.
"You...said such horrible things......did such horrible things..." the aqua-haired girl goes on, hugging herself around the shoulders. "...the way......Papa used to..."
Collapsing into tears, Toto sobs and shivers, still facing away from the young man beside her. Though Nagi can't bear to see her so heartbroken, he isn't really sure what he can do to make her feel better. For her, having a dream like that would've been the worst experience, dragging up the worst memories from a time she had finally began to put behind her. How can he make that go away?
Empowered with the greatest force of all - unconditional love - Nagi does the only thing he can. Lunging forward, the small brunette wraps his arms tightly around Toto from behind, pulling her against his chest as if he means to hold on forever.
Actually, that is exactly what he means to do.
"I will never hurt you, Toto. I promise." pours out his desperate words. "Whatever things I said or did...they were just an illusion." A crystalline tear streaks down his face, as he pauses, taking a deep breath. "Ai shiteru, Toto. Always. And, as you say, we don't hurt the ones we love. We do everything we can to protect them and make them feel safe. Please...please believe me......"
Turning back to him, there is only one reply Toto needs to give. "Ai shiteru, Nagi-kun." she whimpers, throwing her arms just as strongly around him as he had around her, and forming so perfectly against him, one might think they were made to fit together. Two pieces of the same puzzle, shaped to intertwine flawlessly.
It is one of the greatest expressions of love, to simply be with someone, and to know you belong with them. The same is true even for the love of a true friend, and Omi and Youji are prime examples of the power of friendship, simply by sitting at the kitchen table together, sipping from the warm drinks in their hands.
The brisk, night air has penetrated far enough inside the apartment to convert even this space into a slightly unbearable environment, with the tiled floor and buzzing refrigerator adding to the cold. However, the young men enjoying each others' quiet company are flushed - perhaps from more than just their tea.
"Youji-kun...? We...are we friends?" Omi asks candidly, staring down into the contents of his mug.
Alarmed by this point-blank inquiry, the emerald-eyed, young man nearly spills his drink onto his lap. "Nani? How can you ask that? We'll always be friends, Omiitchi. Don't you think we are?"
"Hai, of course I do!" the little blonde mends, setting his mug down on the table, and looking up into his companions startled face with a sheepish smile. "It's only...the dream I had. All of you......you left me...gave me over to our enemies......like I didn't matter...or mean anything to you. I know it wasn't real, but......it scared me."
This is something Youji definitely understands. "I know what you mean. My dream wasn't all that peachy either. I was just some pathetic, aging man, and the rest of you were all...dead...because of something *I* did......or didn't do. Maybe...maybe I was even the one who killed you. I don't know. But...I know things would never turn out that way. I love you guys! You can't work with someone for years, watching their backs, living in the same home, and not feel *something*, ne?"
Sometimes there are moments when everything feels complete - when everything feels right - and anything is possible. Unfortunately, these rare moments are usually interrupted long before they should be, and this time is no exception.
"KAWAII!!"
The affectionate exchange between Omi and Youji is abruptly imposed upon as a very energetic Amaya appears in the kitchen doorway, having seen everything from her eavesdropping perch.
"I came in to get a glass of warm water to help me sleep, and what do I find? You're like two bishounen from a shounen ai manga!" the short brunette exclaims, bounding in next to the table. "That was just so sweet."
"Shounen ai!?!" Omi repeats wildly, with reddened cheeks and wide, blue eyes. "Amaya-chan, what are you implying? I don't know what you think you heard, but you -"
"Caught us." Youji interjects casually, leaning back in his chair. "Really, *koi*, there's no point in denying it. The little fairy-child caught us red-handed. We might as well fess up."
A thrilled giggle escapes Amaya's lips, though Omi can barely produce a single sound. While the overjoyed, young woman proceeds to rant and rave about how she just knew something was going on between the two, Youji bends over to whisper in his little friend's ear, still grinning broadly over his ingenious plan.
"Just go with it, bishounen. Look how happy I've made her."
Omi begins to protest, but Youji silences him, covering his mouth swiftly with a large hand.
"Shhh. Play along." the older man chides. "I've got this worked out perfectly. Follow my lead and you'll be getting exactly what you want."
For some strange reason, Omi has a hard time finding his friend's words reassuring. (What *I* want...?)
"Sumimasen, Amaya?" Youji begins, cutting in to the brunette's flowing conversation with...herself. "I have something to ask of you now that you know our little secret."
Sitting down in the empty chair between the two young men, Amaya beams with all the evil thoughts fluttering around inside her head, but gives Youji all her attention. "Anything, Yo-chan! Are you two hoping to add another playmate to the mix? I'd be happy to volunteer."
The seductive look she tosses Omi sends chills down the poor boy's spine, and he swears the room just shot up a few degrees, finding this whole situation very unsettling.
"I'm afraid that's not what I had in mind." Youji corrects, to Omi's extreme relief. "Actually, we've decided to give each other up. You see, Omi has his eye on someone else, and - though it pains me to let him go - I just can't stand in the way of true love."
At last, the direction Youji is going with this charade is becoming clear to the blue-eyed boy, and though Omi at first feels he should step in and put an end to all this, he finds himself remaining silent. Perhaps there is something to the playboy's tactics after all. He may not be very good at holding on to a woman himself these days, but he has always proved to be an incredible match-maker.
"Sugoi! Are you saying Bombay-kitten feels the same way about me as I feel about him?" Amaya asks excitedly, poised to glomp the boy beside her should the answer be what she is hoping for.
Youji throws Omi a sly wink. "You guessed it. He's too shy to admit the truth himself, but the poor kid is crazy about you."
Fearful - yet hopeful - pause.
"I knew it!" Amaya cries, diving over the table to capture Omi in her arms. "I'm very perceptive when it comes to these things. But...are you sure about this? I wouldn't want to come between you two?"
"Ummm..."Omi begins, smiling weakly while trying to pry Amaya off. "...can I say something?"
"No." Youji smirks, turning instantly to their thrilled companion. "Trust me, Amaya. We've had our fun, but you two were meant for each other. I'll be alright. There's always a few fish I keep hooked in case a relationship doesn't work out."
Adjusting to Amaya's hold as best he can, Omi's not exactly sure whether he came out of this unscathed or not. Sure, he cares for Amaya very much, and with his track record the chances of him ever fessing up on his own would have been slim to none, but is the little, white lie Youji just told going to come back and haunt him?
Most likely.
Things often come back to haunt us, usually because we don't deal with them appropriately when we have the chance. Ken certainly knows the truth in that. No matter how many years pass, he still blames himself for the deaths of his family members. Equally, Nori blames herself for her brother's disappearance, and both of them are far too stubborn to ever see things in a brighter light.
Having slipped down the stairs into the darkened shop below, Ken and Nori are seated at the cafe stand, picking at stale danishes that had been put away under the counter from the other day. They haven't said much, but Ken was the one who suggested they escape somewhere more private, and Nori is eager to understand why.
"Are we just going to sit here all night, stuffing our faces, or are you going to tell me why we're down here?" she asks frankly, eyeing him from over the top of her glasses.
Ken fidgets awhile with his doughnut, staring down at his bare feet. Both of them are still dressed for bed: Nori in a tank top and pajama pants, and Ken in his worn-in sweats and a T-shirt he had slipped on before the group had gone down to the basement.
"I...wanted to tell you......about the nightmare I had." the brunette starts off, looking anywhere and everywhere but at the woman next to him. "It had to do with...my family......my brother, mostly. That's why I...I just can't talk about it with the guys. Not yet. But I have to tell someone. It's driving me crazy."
To put it mildly, Nori is a little surprised by this admission, and can't help blushing slightly at how Ken feels he can trust her enough to share something so personal. Of course, they have already shared with one another things they hadn't shared with anyone before. It's funny, they feel so at ease opening their hearts to each other.
"I'll tell you what, Siberian......if you tell me your dream......I'll tell you mine." Nori smiles, not truly understanding the rapid pace of her pulse, but adoring the savage beating ringing in her ears.
Looking up at last into Nori's silver eyes, Ken smiles back at her, and then sighs deeply, gathering his thoughts. "I was in the shop when he came in. Toshiro. It felt so right having him there, like he'd never left me. But...then he asked me to go outside with him, and everything changed. I was suddenly in the alley where......he was killed." his voice catches in his throat a little, but he refuses to 't let it stop him. "It was like seeing it happen all over again. There he was, struggling with the man who attacked us, and screaming for me to run away and save myself. Back then, the night it really happened, I listened to him. I was nothing but a damn coward! I actually listened and ran away!"
Angered tears find their way down Ken's face, and his fists are clenched so tight, all the blood is rushing away. Nori doesn't interrupt him though, even if a part of her wants to immediately dispel the young man's beliefs. She knows he needs to let this out, and say what he feels needs to be said.
"Well, this time I wasn't going to run away." Ken continues, glaring out into space with ferocious intent. "I wasn't going to let my aniki die again just because I was too afraid to help him. I ran down there, as fast as I could, but...I was still too late. Even knowing that, I ran on, after the killer, determined to make him pay. And......when I caught him......he was...me. I was the killer. Always the killer. And one by one my parents...Toshiro...they all came towards me out of the shadows, condemning me for the life I've led, and the things I've done. For everyone that died because of me. All because of...me......"
The overcome young man breaks, sobbing helplessly, though fighting so hard to keep his tears away.
Honestly, this isn't exactly an area of expertise that Nori is well versed in - comforting others - though for some unknown reason she has an uncanny knack for it. In a heartbeat, she bridges the separation between them and holds Ken closely against her chest, allowing him to cry openly on her shoulder while tendrils of curled, navy hair brush his skin.
We are all children, called to act as mothers and fathers, sister and brothers, friends and lovers, to each and every other person in the world. It is a calling few hear, but all are summoned to.
"It was only a nightmare. I'm sure your family doesn't blame you for the things that happened to them, or for the things you have had to do over the years." Nori soothes, speaking tenderly into his ear. "I know it must be very hard, wondering if they're ashamed of the things you've done, but if they are anything like you, I am certain that they're not. They are proud of you. They would have to be."
Gradually, Ken pulls away, and laughs a little while wiping at his tears. "You must think I'm such an idiot for crying over some stupid dream." he states shamefully. "It's just...lately...I've been blaming myself more and more for what happened to Toshiro. Awhile back, Weiss ran into a young man trying to avenge his parents' death. Akira. He reminded me so much of Toshiro, and I wanted to help him any way I could. But I wasn't strong enough. Wasn't fast enough. I couldn't save him, just like I couldn't save my aniki. I know I shouldn't blame myself, and you're probably right about everything. It's just so -"
"Hard." Nori finishes, tenderly placing a hand on his shoulder. "I know. It's hard not to blame yourself, especially when you are the only one left alive to blame. But that is what your friends are here for. They're here to make you feel better, and remind you that you are not alone. Even if you aren't ready to tell them what happened to your family, they are still here for you. And......so am I."
Darkness is a warm blanket in the dead of night, wrapping snuggly around you and keeping you safe from the chill and brutality of light. By the cafe stand it is very dark with all the overhead lights turned off, but the dim lighting of the moon and stars outside cast just enough of a silvery glow on Ken and Nori's features to offer each other more peace and tranquillity than either feel they deserve.
Regaining his lost control, Ken smiles over at his companion in gratitude, feeling more at home than he has in a very long time. "Your turn." he says simply.
"Oh." Nori breathes, having forgotten she promised to return the favor with her own story. "My dream seems so pointless now. I was just......alone. Completely alone. Everyone had left because I kept saying that I didn't need them, even though I really did...really do. I suppose, it all goes back to my aniki, too, and how I keep thinking he left me because of something I did."
"Which you now know couldn't possibly be the case." Ken cuts in with a know-it-all smirk. "At least, you can't expect me to allow you to think that way. If your brother is still out there, I'm sure he had a reason for leaving, and one day you'll find out the truth."
Nori shakes her head in defeat, laughing a little herself. "We compliment each other well, don't we, Siberian?"
"I guess we do." he replies softly, and then raises an eyebrow like a scrutinizing teacher. "But for the last time, would you call me 'Ken'? I'm so sick of code names I could scream. Ne, Nori-chan?"
Giggling slightly from so easily forgetting herself, Nori nods. "Hai......Ken."
And times ticks on, well into the morning, with an array of varied conversations and revelations. Nevertheless, they will all eventually have to go to sleep.
*****
She was finally asleep.
In Hiromi's suffocating room in the apartment above, the lights are dim and soothing, and all sound around and within has calmed like the eye of a hurricane. The beautiful blonde seated next to the bed, charged with watching over the dangerous young man lying in it, is snoozing away, too exhausted to keep her snow-blue eyes open another minute.
Sensing the stillness outside the room, and noting the advantage he now has over his guardian, Schuldrich smiles cleverly, pulling back the covers, and achingly touching his feet to the floor, though it pains him with every contraction his muscles make.
The injection he received is still in effect, but with a quick mindsweep of those in the building, he is confident he can sneak his way free undetected, without having to resort to his uncanny speed.
Dragging himself to the door, it is as if he has aged 50 years, and it takes him far longer to reach it than he anticipated. However, when he finally does, he throws a smirking glance back at the slumbering woman behind him, and then grandly opens the door, stepping into the empty, darkened hallway.
Cautiously, the weakened German gives his surroundings a once over. (Piece of cake.) he thinks deviously. (Guess they don't know me as well as they think.)
He takes a step forward then, but in an instant, he unexpectedly freezes, sensing that he is not as alone as he had first thought.
"You're going back to him, aren't you?"
Schuldrich tenses, flinching from the discomfort it causes, but slowly turns to face the shadows that have spoken. From around the corner, young Naoe Nagi appears, illuminated by the moon shining in through the window at the far end of the hall. His expression is unreadable, but something in his storm-cloud eyes......Schu can't explain.
"What do you care, kid? I figured you'd be the first one to jump at the chance to get rid of me." the red-head sneers, narrowing his gaze. "So why don't you just turn around, forget that you saw me, and go on living your happy, little life. The only reason you're even thinking of stopping me is to make sure your half-witted girlfriend doesn't get hurt when Brad makes his move."
To Schuldrich's overpowering surprise, Nagi looks truly hurt by the words spoken to him, and in a blind flurry, the young boy rushes towards his older teammate, and wraps frail arms tightly around the German's waist, hugging him like a small child would hug his mother.
Schu holds stunned and rigid, at an utter loss.
"Please...please don't go back to him!" Nagi cries, holding so firmly, it is almost difficult for Schuldrich to breathe. "You know what he's doing is wrong. You just want to go back because you think there's no other place for you to go, but you're wrong. Stay here. Stay with us. I don't......want you to go..."
Unable to return the gesture, the red-head merely stands stiff, shaking his head in misunderstanding. "What's the deal? I thought you hated me......"
A sudden shuffling of feet from the same corner Nagi had come from draws Schu's attention away, while the smaller boy continues to hang on for dear life, sobbing softly against his chest.
Stepping into the light, Farfarello joins the reunion, looking just as unreadable as Nagi first had. "And I thought you could read minds." the albino whispers, repeating the same phrase he had once spoken long ago, and that Hiromi had so recently used herself. "You should know how he really feels. You should know how I feel, too, but somehow, I don't think you do."
Schuldrich doesn't know what to say. The last time he saw his teammates, they were so different. Nagi always so melancholy and quiet, barking to be left alone. And Farfarello forever the masochist, hating God and every one of God's creatures to the point of insanity.
Could the strange women living in this home be so powerful, they changed the unchangeable?
Continuing to look on with dumbfounded features, Schu watches as Farfie reaches into his back pocket and pulls out a very familiar accessory. One that - though the red-head hardly wears it anymore - oddly means so much to him. It is the faded, yellow bandanna he had been robbed of.
"At the time, I really didn't understand why I wanted it." Farfarello explains, stepping forward, while fingering the cloth in his hands. "But I do now. I wanted something to remember you by. To remember how I felt when I was with you, even if I didn't believe in feelings anymore." the Irishman pauses to place the bandanna in Schuldrich's hand. "You said we were friends once. Did you mean that?"
"We're more than just friends." Nagi pipes in softly, muffled by the folds of Schu's unbuttoned shirt. "That's what you can never see, even if you do look inside our minds. We are all each other has. Family. To Hell with what Crawford wants! All *we* really want is to be together, not to hurt people anymore. We don't need to."
Trembling from far more than just the medication surging through his veins, Schuldrich slowly places his hands around Nagi's small frame in reply to those meaningful words, looking up at Farfie - so close to them - with watery eyes.
"Give these women a chance. Give Weiss a chance." the albino pleads. "I know it feels strange, but deep in your heart you have to know that this is what you really want. Freedom."
A daring tear slips down the flustered German's face as he holds tighter to his diminutive friend, and looks as if he is about to reply to the words of both his companions, using true honesty for the first time in a long time.
However, the words don't quite get out before......
"AHHHHH!!!"
Piercing throughout the apartment, an echoing screech has emitted from the room Schu just recently escaped from. Clearly, Hiromi has awaked, discovering that her charge is no longer where he should be.
Instantly, the thunder of many approaching feet begins coming from all sides. Two alarmed red-heads appear from within Aiko's room; Toto, Amaya, Youji, and Omi all pop in at the end of the hallway that leads into the living room, with Ken and Nori close behind since they had already been on their way upstairs; and Hiromi wildly slams open her door with a horrified expression.
"HE'S GONE!!" she screams, just before realizing that *he* is actually standing practically right in front of her, with a blushing Nagi attached to his waist, and an amazingly calm Farfarello right beside them.
The gathered crew is thrown into silence, looking on in disbelief and confusion at the scene before them, wondering what to make of it, and what to do next.
Turning his jade gaze on all of them, Schuldrich eyes the onlookers carefully, wondering what to do himself, but with a heartfelt glance at Farfie, and the chibi holding onto him, he can't help smirking.
He has finally made up his mind.
"So..." the sly red-head begins, in a strengthening, nasal voice. "Anyone have any ideas for a plan?"
*****
The plan no longer matters. Now, he is the only one who can carry out the mission.
A few minutes ago, the most disturbing vision Brad Crawford has ever seen drifted into his mind. Every last one of his loyal follows is now against him, and there is nothing he can do to bring them back.
Obviously, this news didn't cross the American all too well, and after savagely wreaking havoc upon what was left of the cell in the basement where Farfie once lived, and the small quarters that so recently belonged to Naoe Nagi, he is now thrashing madly about in the uniquely decorated room that Schuldrich once occupied and loved so much.
"I'll tear those traitors apart!" Brad bellows, throwing a brightly colored chair across the room to smash into the full length mirror set against the wall. "They think they can just walk away and betray me?! I made them what they are!!"
Posters are torn, trinkets crushed, and the bed slashed with a gunshot through the pillow, leaving the room in shambles even more devastating than what became of the others. Never before has the infuriated, young man lost control so completely, but this display certainly makes up for all the lost years of stiff-necked reactions.
Pulsing further with rage and longings to destroy, Brad leaves the damage behind him, heading for the time-shift room, like a dimension all its own, lining the walls with stars and darkness. The computer blinks at him as he enters, still on with remnants of last night's work on the screen, while the ancient text stolen all those days ago lies on the desk in front of it.
Toiling diligently, Brad has been working on deciphering the archaic language of the book in order to use what he needs of it when the time comes. His work is nearly complete now, and the day of reckoning is approaching.
Despite his fueled anger, the dark-haired American grins evilly at the open tome in front of him, wiping the sweat from his face after the fatigue of his rampage. "Soon......all of them will pay." he rants feverishly, snatching up the book. "Even on my own, I will not fail. The world will know the agonizing perfection of being wiped clean. The power of hatred! And there is nothing Weiss, Fluesternd, or those double-crossers can do to stop me."
In the weak lighting of his surroundings, Brad's bronze-colored eyes glitter dangerously - deranged - and a laughter far more frightening than Schuldrich's cackle ever could be rings throughout the room, signaling that the fate of the world is about to be decided.
*****A/N*****
Wasn't the Schu/Farfie/Nagi moment beautiful? And Brad loosing his cool? Gotta love it. Also, what do you guys think of 'Emery' for Schu's real name? I forgot to ask before, but I really like it, and feedback is always welcome.
Whoops, I didn't give translations for the German in the last chapter, did I? Well here ya go. The first part, before the flashback:
...no...Father........please stop...please -- ...nein...Vater......bitte halt...bitte...
Second, after flashback:
...voices...only voices...I am alone... -- ...Stimmen...nur Stimmen...Ich bin allein...
Aiko's words:
Peace, my child. -- Frieden, mein Kind.
And finally, what Schu said at the beginning of this chapter:
......help......someone...anyone...... -- ......Hilfe......jemand...jeder......
And:
...go away...lea......LEAVE ME ALONE! -- ...fortgehen...la......LASSEN MICH ALLEIN!
OK, that's everything. Hope you're liking...AND REVIEWING!! As for whether I take philosophy....I don't. However, I seem to have an understanding of the human psyche, at least, in my own twisted way, that I'm glad you like.
Next, what to do about Brad, and something very special for Ran. :-) Smooches!