Weiss Kreuz Fan Fiction ❯ Forgotten Memories ❯ The Bitter Truth ( Chapter 13 )

[ X - Adult: No readers under 18. Contains Graphic Adult Themes/Extreme violence. ]

Title: Forgotten Memories

Author: Sardius

Category: Angst/Romance

Warnings: PG-13

Pairings: Ken/Aya and Yohji/Aya

Disclaimer: I don't own Weiss Kreuz otherwise I won't be sitting here sharing with you my entertaining stories. O.o; *sweatdrops*

Author's Note: Well here it is. Usually I crap a lot in my authors note, but after last night and me not feeling extremely myself, I just have to say, enjoy the fic and hope you like it. Thanks. Oh this is the Ranken ending btw. Yohji/Aya fans, next chapter.

Thank you so much to you Lilla. For beta-reading this for me and for everything.

// Character's Thoughts //

Chapter Twelfth: The Bitter Truth

"You want this too don't you?"

Part of me was wondering if I was just dreaming, while the other half of me was still in shock, as my body stood immobilized because of what Aya was doing to me.

"Aya…this is mmpphh…"

I felt myself being pushed against the wall as Aya clutched tightly onto my hair, yanking me down to kiss me roughly on the lips.

I gripped onto his slim waist as I tried jerking my lips away from his intruding tongue but instead I found myself deepening the kiss, pulling him closer to my aching body.

God…Aya this feels so good.

The redhead continued to ravish my mouth, swiping his tongue deeply inside as I moaned, my hands slowly wandering below his hips. Aya immediately froze at the touch; half not expecting the sudden loss of control as I took my chance and nibbled on a pale ear, making him moan in pleasure.

Please tell me this is not a dream.

Aya stiffened in my arms as I started trailing kisses down his neck, my hands running along his smooth back as he suddenly struggled in my grip.

I let him go.

"Y..Yohji?"

For a moment then, it felt like Ran was back, looking at me with those wide violet eyes, his dark lashes fluttering on his pale cheeks. Then slowly the fear and the confusion disappeared, replaced by the emotionless mask once again.

"Why are you here Aya?"

Aya glare hardened as he stared up at me. Then he pushed at my chest, trying to walk away but I spun him around and slammed him up against the wall, knocking the breath out of him.

He is definitely not walking away as if nothing has happened.

"Did you think all I wanted from you was a quick fuck?"

I gripped his chin tightly, forcing his amethyst eyes to focus on me.

"Let go of me." He snarled.

"No." I hissed. "You were the one that came into my room Aya. Did you think I would let you go that easily?"

Aya's eyes widened. A sliver of fear appeared in those amethyst orbs. Then the redhead cursed me and struggled to get out of my grasp.

"Kudou get the hell off me or I swear…"

"You're going to what Aya?" I interrupted him. "I think you're far in no position to kill me at the moment, when your katana is next door."

Aya's glare intensified and he jerked his head aside as if to ignore me completely. I stood there in the darkness pinning him against the wall, our breathings mingling with one another as I slowly raised my hand and gently touched his cheek.

I don't understand.

"Why… why are you doing this? You have not spoken to me since the day you left the hospital and now you come into my room, practically wanting me to fuck you into the floor."

"…."

"I'm not stupid Aya. This is not what you wanted and most certainly not what Ken wanted."

Aya's tense body slowly relaxed against mine and he raised his beautiful amethyst eyes towards me. I took in a breath, shocked at the emotions running through them, eyes that showed me a mixture of fear, pain and confusion. Unconsciously I brushed the silky bangs from his forehead, his skin so smooth against the roughness of my palm as I gently trailed my fingers over it, to rest them on his parted lips.

Then he spoke, "I don't love you Yohji nor will I ever do so."

I froze.

Somewhere at the bottom of my heart, part of me believed what Aya had just said was true, yet at the same time, I had sensed the sadness in the emotionless voice that had spoken to me.

"Don't say things you don't mean."

Aya turned away from me, I could see his body shivering from the cold as he gathered his pants from the ground and slowly pulled them on his pale legs. I could only watch and swallow the lump in my throat as part of me wanted to wrap my arms around his slim body and hold him to myself forever.

"So this is it." I asked.

"Yes."

You bastard.

"Fuck you Ran! You come in here, in MY room in the middle of the fucking night and practically throw yourself at me then you just think, "oh that's it" that the great Kudou Yohji doesn't want to fuck you so you're just going to leave the room like nothing has ever happen! Why don't you just run off with Ken then since you're so fucking in love with each other...."

"Shut up Kudou. I do not need to listen to you."

I grabbed onto his wrist, twisting him around as he winced in pain. There were sure going to be bruises tomorrow but at the moment I didn't care. I didn't understand and I sure wanted to know what the hell Aya was thinking.

"Why Aya? At least tell me why?"

For a moment Aya was going to snarl at me or throw some nasty remarks about letting go of him, except as he gazed into my eyes, I feel the anger slowly seeping away, leaving me holding onto his hand, refusing to let go.

"You...you do not love me Yohji." Aya raised his amethyst eyes to mine, his words piercing into my soul, "You only love Ran. A person that use to be me, but I will never be him again. That is the reason why."

Aya tried to let go but I held on to him.

"How do you know that? Maybe it is you I also love?"

Aya grunted and pulled his hands away from my grasp as he walked away from me, looking out through the window. It was like he was debating what he wanted to say as a pale hand raked through the crimson bangs, leaving me staring at this beautiful but dangerous creature.

"Why didn't you just fuck me and leave things the way they were. You are not only hurting yourself but Ken and me as well. Why...why do you have to make things so complicated."

"Because I love you and I can't stop loving you." I blurted.

He turned his gaze away from the window letting the white moonlight hit directly onto his alabaster cheeks, his amethyst eyes seeming to glow in the darkness.

"Do you?" he inquired.

I could only stare at him mutely trying to find my voice only to realise there was no sound coming out of my lips.

"..."

I hadn't realised his body was so close to mine until I saw myself reflected deeply in those amethyst orbs. His face was merely inches apart from me, and I wanted to lean down and claim those perfect lips with my own. Do I love Aya or Ran? What is the difference? They are both of the same person.

Except Ran was the one that said he loved me. Does Aya? Is he saying that he doesn't love me as Ran does?

Then he spoke and broke me out of my trance." Do you love me or do you just love Ran?" he asked again.

But once again so many thoughts ran through my head, of me and Ran snuggling on the couch, working in the flower shop, of holding him close that night when he was crying in my arms. All these wonderful memories were with Ran. Could it work in the same way with Aya? Would I love him just as much as I had loved Ran?

"...A memory. Nothing could ever have happened between us if I hadn't lost my memory."

Aya's voice was so soft, like a whisper as I looked down at him. Somehow I knew that this was the moment where I either let go of the redhead or proved as stubborn as him by not letting go.

But can I? Can I stand the chance of watching him with someone else again? With Ken?

"Can't you give me a chance at least?" I ran my fingers through his hair; our faces so close together, I only needed to lean down to kiss those lips. I whispered so softly to him, afraid of breaking this silence.... this feeling of having Aya so close to me. So very close yet so hard to reach. " Do you? Do you love Ken even now? Even when so many things have happened?"

"........."

He did not say anything and for a moment I had my hopes building up. Maybe there was a chance for us to be together? If only Aya could give me a chance then we could truly find out if we did love one another. I could learn to love him as much, as he learnt to love me.

"Aya?"

But those beautiful amethyst eyes softened just as he gave the answer that crashed my hopes down.

"...Yes. Even after everything.... I...I still love him."

I didn't know what to say and I guess neither did he. We just stood there for what seemed like an eternity then the redhead decided to take his leave. I hadn't spoken a word since his pronouncement, part of me was angry with him yet something told me inside that it was also time to let go.

I didn't have to turn around when I knew he opened the door. The words tumbled out of my lips before I could even stop them.

"What does he have that I can't give you?"

What is it that I don't have?

For a while I thought Aya would not answer me. That he would just walk out of this door and leave me standing alone in my room. Instead the words he spoke to me were so soft I almost had to lean over to catch them coming out from his lips.

"For being himself...." I knew Aya had turned around to look at me again. But I didn't want to see his face. I didn't want to look at him as he spoke these words to me. Part of me still wanted to just turn around and stop the redhead from leaving my room. Leaving my life.

"I don't need him to give me anything. As long as he is Ken."

I think it was the most Aya and I had ever spoken to each other in our lifetime, save for the past few weeks when Ran and I had gotten along. I realised I was clutching my fingers tightly together, my nails digging into the palm of my hand. I had lost. I had thought I might have a chance with Aya but in the end he had chosen Ken. Chosen to go back to him.

Yet at the same time I felt relieved. To finally know what he had decided.

As Aya opened the door again, I strode towards him and wrapped my arms around his waist holding him tight. I buried my face against the curve of his shoulder, my face hidden so he did not need to see me.

"Yo.... Yohji?"

I didn't care if Aya wanted to kill me. I didn't care if he would run over to his room and fetch his katana and chop me up into pieces. At the moment I just wanted to hold him. To hold that warm body close to mine for the last time. I kissed his temple softly as Aya flinched at the contact but he did not struggle against me.

"Just let me hold you" I whispered against his ear, ".... just for a little while. Let me hold you one last time."

Slowly his body started to relax, leaning against me, as I cherished the fleeting we had at this very moment. However the time ended all too soon when Aya untangled my arms away from him and opened the door again. He didn't turn around to face me but I saw those crimson locks turn slightly towards me, his eyes hidden beneath.

"Yohji...I'm sorry."

It was hard to register that the cold-hearted ice prince had just apologized to me. Strange how I felt the corner of my lips twitch into a smile as I tried not to chuckle at the glare that was now directed my way. I think Aya saw the amusement in my eyes and deeply regretted what he had just said to me.

"It's okay." As I said this I mumbled quietly to myself, "Everything is okay now."

Aya lifted his head towards me and grunted.

"Don't lie to me Yohji."

Yeah it's back to the cold-hearted ice prince again.

"...Ken is sure one hell of a lucky bastard."

Aya's glare intensified.

"Kudou."

"Hai! Sorry. Sorry."

I chuckled as Aya's glare slowly softened. Soon the laughter died from my lips and I bent down towards him so that our faces were only inches apart. I could feel his breath tickling my face as his amethyst eyes widened at my sudden movement.

"Aya..."

Before letting him speak I kissed him softly on the lips.

"Thank you."

Then I walked back into my room leaving him standing there in the doorway. After a little time I heard the shuffle of quiet footstep and the door closed quietly behind me. I lit up one of my cigarettes taken from the nightstand and took a long deep drag, letting the smoke fill my lungs. Even as I stood there, watching the Tokyo streets in the darkness, a tight smile formed on my lips as I blew the smoke into the air.

"So this is it." I whispered to myself.

I guess it is time to move on.

* * * * * * * *

I was leaning against the hallway. Part of me was pondering if I should rush back into my room and pretend nothing had ever happened.

"Ken."

I jumped. I hadn't realised Aya was behind me when I was just about to go back into our room. I turned around slowly hoping to God I would still be alive by tomorrow morning…

…. Aya's eyes were so different I could only stare back at him awe.

"Aya?"

"You heard everything."

I flinched when he said that to me. Although I would have thought he would be angry at me for listening into his conversation with Yohji, I was still angry at how he left our room in the middle of the night to talk to the blonde.

But I guess that is Aya and Aya always has his ways of working things out.

"I...Yes... I thought...."

I knew I must seem an idiot stumbling over my words but I was still so confused at what had happened just then, I didn't even know what to say.

Did Aya really mean what he said in the room? Does he really love me or was it just a lie?

Another lie.

But Aya wouldn't have lied to me right? Especially when he told Yohji that he still loves me. He wouldn't have lied to the blonde just because he felt sorry for me. He wouldn't let me go through the pain of betrayal again.

I was about to speak when Aya placed his fingers on my lips to silence me.

"Come. Let's go outside." He said.

* * * * * * *

It was almost sunrise by the time Ken and me were sitting outside on the balcony of our room. The sky was beginning to lighten up to a pale blue as we listened quietly to the birds chirping in the morning sunlight. We sat there staring down at the streets. Memories floated back into my mind as I recalled the last time we were here. The promise we had made to each other a long time ago.

"Ken."

"Hmm?"

It was unusually quite. Normally Ken would be talking about what he did with the Kids on the weekend. Instead I felt a bitter silence hanging over me. A part of me was afraid that Ken had already given up on me.

What am I to him when I have already broken his heart before? What little trust is left in him for me when I have betrayed him so cruelly?

I licked my lips and glanced sideways at him. I could not see him clearly as he had his head turned looking down towards the streets. After a while I spoke the words that I was so afraid to ask.

"Do you hate me?"

I closed my eyes dreading his reaction to that.

Of course he does. Why would he have any love for me? Maybe I should move back into the spare room later during the day. It would be better this way.... maybe he won't wish to see me anymore.

"Aya!"

I opened my eyes and stared down into brown chocolate orbs. I hadn't realised I was trembling as Ken steadied me with his hands on my shoulders.

"Aya. I would never hate you."

Does he really mean that?

I still remembered the look he gave me when I saw him in my room last night. It was one I never wanted to see again. A sense of sadness lingering in his eyes as if he had given up on me, on us. And it scared me to see him that way.

".........."

Then Ken laced his fingers with mine and brought them up in front of us. I stood there watching him with a bemused expression, noticing how his skin was so tanned compared to my pale tone. So different but still so beautiful.

"Aya, do you remember the promise we made to each other a long time ago."

A sense of happiness washed through me as I recalled the many wonderful memories Ken and I had shared.

Instead of a calm voice, it came out rather cracking as I whispered, "Yes."

Ken shifted close to me until his head was resting in the crook of my neck. It felt so right as if all the memories of our past came tumbling into my mind, making me wrap my arm loosely around his waist. For a time it felt so comfortable to be in each other's embrace until Ken's voice brought me back to the present.

"We said we would promise to be with each other forever no matter what. For a time, I almost lost hope. When I woke up and realised you weren't there I thought this would be it."

"Ken." I protested.

I wanted to tell him how sorry I was that he had had to go through all that pain but instead I found myself unable to speak as a couple of fingers touched my lips telling me to keep quiet.

"No. Let me speak. What you said back then really meant something to me." I looked down and stared deeply into those hazel eyes, seeing the cold reflection of myself in them. Ken's face was slightly flushed from the cold making him look more beautiful in the morning sunlight. He reached out his hand and touched my cheeks, "...I am glad you have chosen to be with me Aya...for keeping the promise we made." Then Ken blushed and cast his eyes away from me.

"Thank you for loving me." he murmured.

Somehow I felt as if a big burden had been lifted off of my shoulders. It was as if this test of relationship between Ken and me had finally been accomplished. That now we were meant for each other. Forever.

I didn't realise I was smiling until the look on Ken's face was overwhelmed with shock.

I laughed.

Then Ken pulled me down towards him until our lips were locked together.

I let myself be carried away by his love, his presence bringing such joy in my heart. As he held onto me, I whispered the words I longed to say to him.

"Thank you for believing me."

* * * * * * *

Epilogue: Moving On.

It had almost been a year.

A year since Aya had left me and decided to go back to Ken.

And I? I moved out, further into the city. It didn't matter how much I knew the redhead would never truly be mine, I couldn't stand to stay in the same house with them anymore. I guess that was why I left. Of course we still see each other from time to time. I know Aya understands what my intentions were.... but Ken? Well we still get along. It's a bit different to how we were before.... but after all the shit that happened; I don't think we could ever have been the same.

And even now I still want to claim Aya as mine.

Who wouldn't? I had almost had a chance there. I had felt there was something that flickered in Aya's eyes that night when he came into my room. I sometimes still think back to then, if I had pushed him further would he have given himself to me?

Would we still be together even now?

[I swear kitten if you keep thinking about that redhead all the time, I'm going to be extremely jealous.]

I laughed.

I flicked my cigarette onto the concrete and made my way towards my lover. Yeah you got that right. Who said I couldn't love my enemies. Especially someone that means so much to me now that I would never let him go.

[Sure thing baby]

I let myself smile at the annoying bastard I had fallen in love with. The world is such a strange place after all. I grabbed the slim waist close to me as the German chuckled at my possessiveness, brushing our lips together.

And so I have finally moved on…

But in my heart I will never forget you.

Fujimiya Aya.

* * * * * *

Owari

Enjoy it? Hate it? I tried wrapping things up. Hope the ending is good enough for you guys. It was hard trying to write a pairing I don't usually write, especially Ken. But it didn't turn out that bad…hopefully. Anyway off to the next chapter. Y/A ending!