Weiss Kreuz Fan Fiction ❯ Gilded Cage ❯ Chapter 5

[ Y - Young Adult: Not suitable for readers under 16 ]

Just a little reminder to readers, please: This is a work of fanfiction. The opinions and observations as expressed by the characters in this piece of work, should not be construed as opinions and observations shared by the author.

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DISCLAIMER: Kyoko Tsuchiya and Project Weiß hold the copyright over all names, likeness and rights of Weiß kreuz. All these characters and materials are used without permission, and I'm not profiting from this piece of fan fiction.

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Gilded Cage
Epilogue
By Jacque Koh
May 2002
@>;-'-

Youji tried to make as little noise as he could as he shifted uncomfortably on the bedroll that was laid on the floor of his room. A self-confessed creature of comfort, he hated sleeping without a proper mattress. However, for the last week or so, it was decidedly necessary. As his eyes turned to gaze at the restless occupant of his bed, Youji told himself for the umpteenth time that he would not have wished it any other way. The most important fact of the matter was that Ran was alive.

They had been amazed that despite the months of inactivity Ran never lost his edge or forgot his mission focus. It was the only thing that they could think of which would explain how Ran could have ignored the gunshot wounds and completed his strike. If the Schwarz redhead had been at full strength, he probably could have avoided injury. However, fevered as he was from an infected wound and mad with grief after Crawford's death, Schuldig was too slow to avoid being cleaved in two. By rights, Ran shouldn't have survived either.

It would be a long time before any of them forgot that mad midnight dash down the mountain. Youji had concentrated fully on driving, determined to carefully navigate the icy roads and get them all to the hospital without any further casualties. Ken rode shotgun and called ahead to have Manx get the hospital ready to receive them. Omi and Nagi were in the backseat, vainly trying to keep the pressure on Ran's wounds to stop the bleeding. It had been touch and go. They had feared Ran would die from shock and loss of blood before they could get him to the hospital, but they made it to the emergency ward in time.

Of course, no one was thinking about Schuldig and his blood soaking into the hardwood floor and bed then. It was just unfortunate that by the time they remembered to send the Kritiker clean up crew to the cabin, the blood was so ingrained in the wood it was near impossible to remove the stains.

While Kritiker were quick to arrange to have Ran's room refurbished, it reeked of the harsh cleaning agents they had used. They were not about to let Ran stay in that room while he was recuperating. So, it meant that someone had to give Ran his bed while the room was aired out. Youji made the offer. After all, he claimed that his bed was the most luxurious and comfortable bed in the cabin because of the care and expense he went to to procure the mattress. He figured Ran would be most secure there since his injuries were bad enough to need long periods of rest in bed. So, that was why Youji, the comfort slut, ended up sleeping on the floor of his bedroom.

He wasn't about to hold it against Ran though. For all the time Ran spent visiting hospitals because of his sister, Youji could understand why he couldn't stand to stay in a sterile hospital room once he woke up. Ran was already under enough stress that they didn't want to subject him to anymore. He had been very relieved to be brought back to the cabin to recover as soon as they could safely move him. However, from Youji's nightly observations, he didn't think Ran was getting much sleep. Youji swore that the man was more restless than he was on the floor.

Apart from the sleepless nights though, Ran had come very far in the week he had been discharged from the hospital as compared to the two weeks after his rescue. Remembering with guilt how they had caused their friend to think they had abandoned him in the weeks which followed his sister's death, Youji, Omi and Ken were determined never to let him mistakenly think that way again. They let him have his privacy at least once a day, but they now made sure that one of them was around or near him most of the time.

Unintentional or not, Schuldig's words to Youji at the cherry blossom festival gave them all pause to reconsider how they interacted with Ran. Unlike them, Ran was a master at the art of subtle concern. They had to understand and accept that if they were inelegant in the way they expressed their camaraderie, so be it. Even if Ran greeted their overtures with embarrassment or annoyance for making a fuss, it was okay. As his friends, they could live with it.

It wasn't like Ran didn't appreciate their efforts. He just had a quiet nature that hated fanfare. And besides, they would bet that Ran would eventually grow to be accustomed to their more boisterous nature if they showed him how much they really cared about him often. True enough, the awkward embarrassment to be in their company was slowly and surely giving way under their patience to comfortable silences and he was opening more to them in companionship.

Nagi's presence had also helped a lot as he was someone Ran could talk to about the environment they had both been rescued from. Granted though that Nagi was spared from sexual depredation, having to put up with listening to an S&M orgy in the room next to him almost every night was not light trauma either.

They knew that it had been very hard for Ran to accept the truth of Crawford and Schuldig's feelings for him. Up until they stood outside the door of the hotel suite that fateful night, Youji had himself held second thoughts about Schwarz's attention to Ran's welfare. He admitted, if only to himself, that he could have been biased and mistaken about his concern. All it took was a muffled, pained filled shriek from within to quickly change his mind. Seeing their friend so cruelly treated invoked in Youji a sense of protectiveness and possessiveness he never thought himself capable of.

Ran still had nightmares. He didn't want to talk about them the few times when Youji would get up to shake him awake though. Still, Youji knew from listening to his mumbled sobs that he often dreamed of Crawford and Schuldig. The counsellor had warned them that it would take a long time for Ran to stop dwelling on his submissive capitulation to Schwarz.

"Youji? Ar-- are you awake?"

Stirred from his train of thought, Youji turned to look up at the bed and found Ran peering at him. He kept his mouth shut before he said something stupid. He knew Ran would give him a hard glare if he ever tried to insinuate that the man looked cute. However, at that moment, 'cute and endearing' were the only words Youji could think of to describe how Ran looked as he peeked shyly over the edge of the bed.

"Aa? Yeah, I'm still awake."

Ran blushed in embarrassment, as he looked down unable to meet his eyes. "I'm-- sorry about your having to sleep on the floor."

Youji reached up to lift Ran's chin so that he would look at him face to face. "Don't worry about it." He hoped that Ran could read the reassurance in his eyes. "How are you? That bed has the most comfortable mattress I could find in all Tokyo. Isn't it okay for you?"

"I-- It's--" Ran sounded hesitant and unsure. "I-- haven't-- slept alone for a long time..."

Youji blinked as the redhead trailed off. His tired mind was having a hard time wrapping itself around the meaning of what was said and the implication of the words. Something stirred within Youji's chest and he wondered if he dared to hold such high hopes so soon. He did question though why Ran didn't just ask if he wanted company if what he dreamed of was true. Then he thought again about their quiet friend. /Did-- he see it as begging? And--/

"A-- aren't you cold?" Ran asked him quietly.

There was something else to it, Youji was sure of it. Then it struck him.

"It *is* chilly down here." Youji sat up on the bedroll to look at Ran hopefully. "Er-- would it be okay if-- I climb in with you? To keep warm of course." He added hastily.

"Hai." Ran's consent was given softly.

Youji got up and slid under the blankets Ran helpfully held up for him. His touch was careful as he moved to gently pull the smaller man into the warm circle of his arms; ready to let go if Ran gave him even a hint of discomfort. The man shivered slightly, but he did not pull away, instead snuggling comfortably against Youji's chest.

They settled down together peacefully with Ran's head tucked under his chin. Youji's arms gently enfolded the smaller man in a protective embrace. "Arigato, Ran. It's more comfortable in bed than on the floor." Youji murmured softly in his hair.

+"Do itashimashite." The redhead murmured sleepily against his chest.

Youji's lips pulled into a smile of contentment. 'Consent.' It was one of the issues that the counsellor had said was sorely lacking during Ran's entire stay with Schwarz. In their long talks about that time, Ran was slowly coming to understand and realise how little control he had been allowed, and how much the pair had manipulated him into believing he acted of his own free will.

Was it manipulation then when Ran prompted Youji to ask a leading question, which allowed him to give an answer of consent for something he wanted? Youji pondered the question as he listened to the redhead's breathing slowly even out in sleep. Maybe, but it could also be taken as Ran offering to him a gesture to understand that he would not look down upon any overtures. Youji grinned to himself as he thought of how Ran's actions also seemed to signify his renewed trust of him.

Youji didn't intend for Ran to need such a round about way to seek affection from now on. He was determined to give Ran everything he would ever want and deserve. He knew, though, that he had to be careful about how he treated Ran. He had to thread a thin line between making Ran feel like a precious treasure and a helpless, dependent. The man's sense of self worth was already fragile as it is. If he wasn't watchful of his actions, Youji was quite aware that he could cause Ran to push him away in an attempt to reassert his pride and independence.

As Youji pondered his dilemma, he gave some thought as to how he could win an argument for Ran to continue to stay with him after his room was inhabitable again. Then he remembered Jei was due to join them in a couple of weeks. Youji wondered how Ran would take it if he suggested for him to share Youji's room and let Jei take his room. In the long term, a similar arrangement concerning their apartments might even be workable once they returned to Tokyo and the Koneko No Sumu Ie.

Thinking about that made Youji smirk and reconsider his position on the Irishman. Weiß had little issue against Nagi joining their unit. As it turned out, he and Omi already shared a tentative camaraderie as fellow hackers. It hadn't been difficult for Omi to extend a hand of friendship to take in a roommate.

Farfarello, on the other hand was another kettle of fish since, sane or not, they were all a bit wary of the man. However, if Ran was willing to give up his apartment and stay with Youji, or vis versa... Maybe it wasn't be so bad an idea to let the man into their little family after all. What they knew of the sane man, Jei, did make them think that he'd get along with them just fine. Who knows? It might turn out that Ken, the only 'single' left in the team, could hit off with him.

/Well.../ Youji chuckled softly to himself, /that could depend on whether or not Jei was interested in soccer./

As he looked down at the quietly slumbering redhead he was cuddling so protectively, Youji wondered if he dared to hope that Ran had similar ideas. Whatever the future may hold though, Youji decided that he would let Ran set the pace. He had the patience to wait for as long as Ran needed to learn to entrust his heart to another again.

+ Do itashimashite = You're welcome.

Authors Note:
If you want to read something real in relation to the Stockholm syndrome, you can try this site on Patty Hearst - http://www.pattyhearst.com/ TigerM called my attention to this real case and alerted me to chilling parallels to 'Gilded Cage'. It is an eye-opening read of something that has happened in the real world.

I had a couple of readers who requested that Crawford, Schuldig and Ran stay together in this fic. Sorry to disappoint the folks who liked the idea of the trio together, but the premise of the story concerned the Stockholm syndrome, so I could not do that. I hope the readers of this fic understood that Crawford and Schuldig only loved each other. They used everyone else. I had intended all along to kill them to 'free' Ran, Nagi, and Jei from the situation they were in. Hence the warnings at the onset of the story that this was a fic with 'character death'.

However, from this story, do not take it as my opinion that abusive people deserve to die. In the flow of the story, that was how the situation happened to play out. As I have stated at the beginning of each part of this story: This is a work of fanfiction. The opinions and observations as expressed by the characters in this piece of work, should not be construed as opinions and observations shared by the author.

If you're looking for a Crawford & Schuldig x Ran piece from me, you'll have to wait until I can work on one of my 'on the drafting board' pieces.

I realise that this was a rather serious story, so I hope it wasn't too much of a chore to read. For those of you who have read this far, thanks for reading.