Weiss Kreuz Fan Fiction ❯ Halcyon ❯ Chapter 5 ( Chapter 5 )

[ X - Adult: No readers under 18. Contains Graphic Adult Themes/Extreme violence. ]

Title: Halcyon (Ch. 5)

Author: Genuinelie(s)

Rating: PG-13

Disclaimer: Weiss Kreuz is not mine.

Pairing: AxY

Summary: The boys are finding that until death, all ends are just masked beginnings.

A/N: Continuation.

xxxxx

"She's going to live with a Kritiker family," Aya announced, walking into the Koneko.

There weren't any customers, it was too early, though all three Weiss were in the shop setting up. He'd startled Ken so that he knocked into the counter, he hadn't been facing the door. Omi looked up from where he was preparing the till, eyes large.

He didn't look at Yohji. It had been two days since the night on the bridge, and Aya had done his best to remove himself from any contact with the man. The emotions the encounter had stirred up were too raw, and too long buried.

The reminder of the gay club, what he felt Yohji pressing against him on the bridge -

In some other lifetime, Aya had realized that night, there had been a possibility.

It wasn't something he let himself dwell on. The events since joining Weiss had pushed from him all notions of what he might have deserved as a human, once.

But he remembered waking up, and connecting with something buried deep within those smiling eyes.

...it had been why he'd pushed him away.

It didn't matter then, and it still didn't matter. He had other concerns. Even if he wasn't allowed to have his sister by his side, he would still be her guardian. He would make sure she had a happy life, even if it was without him.

"Aya..."

He steeled his jaw and ignored Kudoh. Omi glanced sideways, then back at Aya. It was obvious he was aware something was up, but was too politic to discuss it. "Aya-kun...are you sure..."

He nodded shortly.

"But I thought she would come back here to live..."

"She's not." He went to the back and picked up his apron from the hook, coming back to join the shift a moment later.

"So you're just gonna give her up, like that." Ken's voice was incredulous.

"It's not your concern, Ken." He pulled open a drawer and got out the shears.

He busied himself trimming the flowers Omi had set out to keep from revealing the guilt that was weighing down on him since the decision. It was a heavy, familiar tension between his shoulder blades.

It was because some part of him was relieved.

Relieved because she would be cared for. Because he didn't have to trust himself to be able to.

Relieved because she would be protected from his life.

He could barely care for the mess that was his own existence. An aware, animated girl was much different to protect than one chained to a hospital bed, with all her needs cared for by nurses and doctors.

"Aya!" Yohji slammed an open hand into the wall. Aya's head snapped up. He was taken aback by the anger on Yohji's face. His expression was dark. "Don't you ever get tired of being such a fucking emotionless asshole?"

"Emotionless." Aya echoed.

"Yes!" Yohji exclaimed. He was glaring at Aya over the rim of his sunglasses.

Aya slammed the scissors down on the counter. The two younger Weiss jumped.

"Y-Yohji-kun!" Omi sounded dismayed. "He didn't mean that, Ay-"

"Oh, yes, I did." Yohji stated.

Aya stared at him, disbelieving. There was a muffled snicker from Ken.

"You think," Aya said finally, his voice low, "That my sister would be better living with the four of us, watching us come and go, never knowing when we'll be back." His voice rose. "If she lives with us, I will come back from a mission and she will see me covered in the blood of some dark beast. This is our hell. I will not taint her any more with my choices." He was breathing hard. His hand was clenched around the shears, and he dimly felt the tip pushing into his skin. "Kritiker is offering her a chance at a normal life. She'll be protected. And if it means that I am still Weiss - I know what I am!" He ended shouting.

He spun around to the door, intending to leave the shop. Two schoolgirls were in the doorway, their faces wide and shocked.

"O-oh! Welcome! Don't mind him," Omi's voice was shaky behind him. "He's practicing for a play, you know..."

The girls relaxed immediately, and fell into a fawn.

Aya turned on his heel and rushed up the stairs.

****

"Aya!"

Yohji's voice chased his heels. Aya whirled around in the hallway and ran at him, intending to give him the punch he more than deserved.

Yohji was expecting it. He dodged it easily, then grabbed his arm at the wrist when he threw the second. Aya wrenched free and backed up.

"Aya, you're more than just a killer! You're her brother! Don't you think she's going to feel rejected? Or miss you, dammit?" Yohji shouted, stepping back into his personal space. He shoved Aya backwards.

Aya stumbled, more from the words than the shove.

I don't hate you. Yohji's words had stayed with him since that night. Obviously a lie. He was tired of Yohji jerking him around. The man had an uncanny knack for sensing when he was wounded, and preying on it.

"Stop," Aya hissed.

"Stop what, Aya? Telling you things you don't want to hear?"

"Yes!" Aya shouted. "Stop -"

"Stop calling you out on being a selfish ass?"

Aya punched him, and it connected. Yohji came back immediately and decked him across his face.

"Damn you!" Aya screamed at him.

He was shaking. He had tried his best to avoid Yohji, ever since he'd wrapped that goddamned wire around his body and drew him into this hell. Aya had recognized from the beginning that they would understand each other in ways that would be dangerous for him. And it had been easy, because the other man clearly despised him. He was the butt of Yohji's attention only when he was bored.

It had made it easy to ignore how he felt. Until he'd told them all about Aya-chan, and Yohji had found the broken spaces in Aya, where he could slip in.

He didn't understand why Yohji bothered to.

Aya hated him. He hated him for how easily he could ignore what he was. He hated him for his recent persistant interest in harrassing him, for making it impossible for Aya to avoid him.

He hated how Yohji was speaking now to his deepest desire to have Aya-chan with him constantly, to allow himself that reward for all his suffering...

Despite what it would mean for her.

He had looked off, lost in his own misery. When his eyes found Yohji's face again, the other assassin's face was clearly shocked.

Suddenly, Yohji moved. Aya slammed against the wall, his wrists gripped in Yohji's hands with surprising strength from years of using his wire weapon.

Aya's head hit the wall before he could react, Yohji pressing his mouth to his viciously.

Aya's eyes widened. He nearly bit him, but after a moment Yohji's lips softened, lightening up on the pressure, as if testing Aya to see if he would stay where he was.

He had wanted this...

He had never deserved it.

Yohji - his interest wasn't real...

Once, he had wanted this...

Yohji was watching him, and Aya was taken aback to find that his green eyes were wet, glistening under the blond bangs. His muscles were hard against Aya's, and straining because though Aya wanted it, he was still trying to break free.

Suddenly Yohji released him, stepping back. His expression had a hint of realization in it. "Kill me if you need to, Aya.Ran. Because I know this is going to kill me anyway."

Aya was breathing heavily. He was pressing himself back into the wall, though everything in him was screaming to follow Yohji up on his offer.

Ran.

Yohji watched him, his eyes intent.

After a moment, Yohji's eyes closed, expression falling into a smirk with a soft snort. When he opened them, his eyes were pained. It was a familiar expression, but one Aya hadn't defined before. "I guess-"

"Aya!" Omi's voice broke in from downstairs. It sounded strained. "Yohji! Aya-chan is here! She's come for a visit!"

Yohji laughed, darkly. He ran a hand through his hair. "Tell Aya-chan I'm sorry I missed her." He went to his room, his door slamming.

Aya closed his eyes. He brought a hand up to pass over his face.

xxxxx

It was easier than Aya had expected to smile for his sister. She had been laughing with Ken when he came down. The soccer player had been teasing Omi, from the look of it, because the youngest assassin had a mock-annoyed expression on his face, hands on his hips.

Manx had dropped her off and left for once, saying that Aya-chan could call her when she wanted to return.

Aya-chan lit up at the sight of him. He gave her a strong hug, burying his face in her hair. When they broke apart, she was still smiling.

The expression was still in place when she whispered, "Ra-Aya, what's wrong?"

"It's nothing," he said. He pushed everything that had just happened in the upstairs hallway out of his conscious mind. The smile on his face wasn't a lie. It felt like a dream to have her in front of him again. Despite everything, he still felt that she was something that would slip away the second he blinked.

"Mm." She said.

He'd forgotten how she used to find out what he was hiding, even back then...

"Niisan! Let's go get ice cream, okay? It's a beautiful day out. And I remember you telling me that you'd take the day off." She grinned at him.

"Remember...you remember what I said..."

She nodded, eyes big. "I remember a lot of what you said to me, when I was asleep. The nurses said it's common. But I'm sure I don't remember it all...just that you were there." She took his hand and pulled him toward the door.

"Have fun!" Omi called after them.

xxxxx

Once they were outside, Aya-chan slipped her hand into his. It was a sunny day, the sky clear but for a handful of wispy white clouds.

"I miss them," she said suddenly. She was looking straight ahead.

Their parents. Aya didn't need to ask her to clarify.

"Brother? Ow!"

Aya let go of her hand with a start. He hadn't noticed that he'd stopped walking.

He was still reeling from the encounter with Yohji. Aya-chan's simple admission felt like nearly a physical blow on top of it. One hand shot out so he could steady himself on the cement wall of the building beside them.

For her, it was still fresh.

And she had recognized the reality of their lives in a way that Aya steadfastly veered away from.

The concern on her face was enough to convince him to mask what he was feeling. He straightened. "I'm sorry, Aya. I had a...hard time at the shop this morning. I..." He looked down and blinked once, hard.

He had never said the words aloud. He fought with himself.

But he was no longer alone.

He had to show her that shewasn't alone.

Aya looked back up at her, and took a breath. "I miss them. Too."

It was the first time since joining Weiss that he had classified his grief in terms of something other than revenge and rage.

His sister's eyes were trained on his. She reached out hesitantly and touched his arm. The throng of passerby ignored them.

Finally, he nodded at her. "I'm okay, Aya." He wasn't sure if it was a lie.

After a moment, she nodded back at him. She took his hand again, and the siblings started down the sidewalk.

"Aya," Aya said suddenly.

She looked at him. Her face was troubled.

"Aya...I think you should start calling me Ran again."

His sister tilted her head. Aya desperately wished he knew what she was thinking.

After a long pause, she broke out into a beautiful smile.

It was the right thing.

"Okay, brother," she said. She nodded, as if affirming it. Then, more quietly, "I'm glad."

Aya skipped ahead suddenly, pulling Ran forward after her.

xxxxx

Tbc.