Weiss Kreuz Fan Fiction ❯ Hey There Little Red Riding Hood ❯ Hey There Little Red Riding Hood ( Chapter 1 )

*****Don't own it. Making no money from it. Get over it.*****

 

 

 

 

There was once a sweet boy, much beloved by everybody, but most of all by his grandmother, who never knew how to make enough of him. Once she sent him a red riding hood made of velvet and as it was very becoming to him, he never wore anything else. (Well, actually, he did wear pants, shirt, etc. Much to the dismay of the fan girls.)

 

At any rate, one day he found himself facing a dilemma. His grandmother had called because she was out of Prozac. While he had run to the corner drug store to fill the prescription, he didn't have any more time to take her the medication as he had a thirty page paper on the meaning of the dung beetle to the general population in ancient Egypt due the next day. He glanced around the kitchen desperately, searching for an answer.

 

He supposed he could send someone else to Grandma's house. It was just a short walk through the woods. But who to send? He couldn't send Schuldig, because he'd just take the meds himself to see what they'd do. He couldn't send Farf because he'd scare Granny out of her bloomers. There was only one other person in the house whom he deemed trustworthy enough to not take the meds himself or terrify Granny out of her nightgown. Said person luckily just happened to be coming into the kitchen.

 

“Crawford-san, I have a huge favor to ask of you,” Nagi began haltingly.

 

Crawford glared briefly at him then sighed. He should have known he wouldn't be able to escape the demands of his team even on his day off.

 

“What is it, Nagi?”

 

“Well, Granny called and needed a refill on her meds. I have the refill but I don't have time to take them to her because I have a thirty page paper due for class. And I only have the outline done so far. Would you please, please, please, take it to her for me? I don't trust Schuldig or Farf.”

 

“With good reason,” Crawford muttered under his breath. He knew if he didn't go then the whining would never cease. “Fine. Give me the meds.”

 

“Hold on a minute, I have some other things to send with you for her,” Nagi said, flinging open the cupboard under the sink and pulling out a picnic basket. He tossed in a loaf of French bread, several honey cakes that had been made the night before, two frozen dinners and a bottle of wine.

 

“That had better not be any of my good wine, Nagi,” Crawford said, looking suspiciously into the basket.

 

“It isn't,” Nagi said, closing the sides of the basket. Then pausing for a moment as though contemplating something. He dashed out of the room and was back almost before Crawford could wonder what he was up to. Nagi plopped the red riding cloak onto Crawford's head.

 

“What the hell is this for?”

 

“So she'll know you've been sent instead of me,” Nagi explained patiently.

 

“Nagi, she's met me before. Remember?”

 

“Yes, I remember but she won't. Just humor me, please.”

 

Crawford pulled the cloak off of his head and draped it over one arm. Then picked up the basket. “I expect remuneration for this.”

 

“Such as?” Nagi prompted.

 

“No whining for an entire day.”

 

“Done.”

 

“And you put Farf into the straightjacket tonight.”

 

“Okay.”

 

“And you do dishes all this week.”

 

“For crying out loud! It's just a simple errand.”

 

“What did I just say?” Crawford prompted when he sensed the beginning of a whine session.

 

Nagi sighed. “Okay, okay. Now will you please go take Granny her meds?”

 

“I'm already out the door,” Crawford said, stepping out of the kitchen door and onto the deck.

 

He sighed heavily. He supposed there were worse things he could do on his day off. Maybe the walk in the woods would do him some good. It was a beautiful fall day. The air was clear and crisp. They wouldn't have many more days like this before winter set upon them in earnest. He made his way to the break in the trees and started down the path to Grandma's house.

 

 

Unbeknownst to Crawford, the wolf was waiting just inside the forest, hidden behind one of the trees. The wolf was a bit startled at seeing Crawford instead of Nagi at first. But he soon decided that he liked this scenario much better. Here was something far closer to his tastes than the chibi.

 

He followed at a safe distance behind the man. It was easy to keep him in sight with the red cloak tossed over one of his broad shoulders. The wolf's paws itched and he longed to run them over the man's body. A song popped into his head that was oddly appropriate considering the current situation.

 

Hey there, little red riding hood. You sure are lookin' good. You're everything a big bad wolf could want.

 

Thinking quickly, the sly wolf knew the exact way to distract his little red riding hood in order to beat him to Grandma's house. He sprinted several meters ahead to where the bend in the path would hid his activities and scattered several thousand yen along the edges of the trail. He knew there was one thing the man could not resist and that was money. If things turned out the way he was planning, it was worth losing a few thousand yen.

 

Crawford paused on the path when he spotted several yen scattered along the pathway. He set the basket down and looked around for the owner. Someone surely had to notice they were missing what looked like several thousand yen. He picked the basket back up and walked slowly along the path, picking up the money as he went along.

 

The wolf smiled. With little red riding hood temporarily distracted he sprinted through the trees to Grandma's house. He opened the door and walked in, knowing she wouldn't be home. He knew because he had sent her off to play bingo with Aya not a half an hour before. He stripped down completely then kicked his clothes into the closet and was just getting into bed when someone knocked.

 

“Who is it?” the wolf said in his highest, sweetest voice.

 

“It's Crawford, I'm Nagi's . . . friend. Do you remember me? He sent me with your medication because he had homework to do.”

 

“Of course, dear. Come in. I'm in the bedroom,” the wolf said, trying to keep his tone high pitched. He pulled the covers up until the only thing of him visible was his eyes.

 

Crawford walked into the bedroom and set the basket on a chair just inside the door. He looked at the figure in the bed and suddenly had a sharp vision of being trapped beneath a warm body. He blinked several times to clear the vision from his mind. Weird, he thought to himself.

 

“Why don't you come a bit closer so I can see you better?” the wolf in the bed suggested.

 

Crawford stepped a little further into the room.

 

“Closer,” the wolf prompted.

 

Crawford came and perched on the edge of the bed. Something was very odd here, he thought. He didn't remember Nagi's grandmother having long blonde hair. Or big green eyes for that matter.

 

“Grandmother, what great eyes you have!”

 

“The better to see you with.”

 

Now Crawford was extremely suspicious. Looking at the fingers clutching the covers he rapidly discerned that this was no woman. Not unless she was a female wrestler.

 

“Grandmother, what large hands you have!”

 

“The better to take hold of you with,” the wolf said and whipped the covers away from his face and grabbed Crawford by the shoulders, twisting his body until the other man was firmly pinned beneath him.

 

Crawford sighed. Partially in exasperation, partially in lust. “Don't make me shoot you, Kudou,” he said, half seriously.

 

“Somehow, I don't think that's the Beretta digging into my hip.”

 

 

**********************Author's Notes**********************************

 

Um, this is what happens when Phoenix rereads the original Grimm's fairy tales and Butler's “Crazy Sunday Mornings” in the same day. (Speaking of which, if you haven't read “Crazy Sunday Mornings”, you should)