Weiss Kreuz Fan Fiction ❯ Human Nature ❯ Paradise (not for me) ( Chapter 3 )

Human Nature

Part 3: Paradise (not for me)

Disclaimer: I do not own Weiss Kreuz or any of its characters. They are merely here for my amusement and your enjoyment. ^_^ Paradise (not for me) belongs to Madonna, please don't sue...this is strictly non-profit! I seem to be on a Madonna rampage, but her songs are perfect for this fic!

Warnings: shonen ai. Omi+Nagi. OOC characters?? Angst… sorta AU

Comments: I love everyone who has taken the time to review! (And even the people who haven't…but I know you will! =^-^=). This is quickly turning into a song-fic…@.@ … but as long as you don't mind… Any grievances can be reported to my review section! Previously uploaded at FF.net ^-^;

` Thoughts '

" Spoken words "

< Mental dialogue >

( Sound effects )

* Actions *

~*~

`Why? A simple question really, with a multitude of answers. I'll never find the answer, so I've stopped asking. Am I losing hope? Living day by day in the dark shadow of a shining society. Your glitzy and carefree lives don't interest me. The only thing that has me mesmerized is a pair of clear cerulean gems. More precious than your halfhearted attempts at being perfect. There is no paradise. Only his shocking blue eyes.'

I can't remember
When I was young
I can't explain
If it was wrong
My life goes on
But not the same
Into your eyes
My face remains

`I take it back…I'm smiling bitterly, but I must ask myself…futilely, despondently… Why is he so different? My heart thumps up and down, crazily. Stumbling to the ground, am I drunk on "LOVE"?'

`NO! … no…my heart's been frozen for as long as I remember…but if that is so, why is my heart fluttering, my chest heaving, my body throbbing? Why? I'm trembling…my breath stuttering through my lips. Desperation, filling my aching heart. When have my feelings changed?'

`The night is dark, my skin is covered in a sheen of sweat from dancing so long on the dance floor. A cool wind chills my body. Perhaps that is the origin of my shivering. Part of my mind tells me no…I throw my head back and unfurl my ethereal wings. A quick duck into a miscellaneous alley permits me to fly into the sky.'

I've been so high
I've been so down
Up to the skies
Down to the ground

`Wind whips past me. Into me, but it feels wonderful. How many people wish for a chance to fly like this? I can forget reality…and live in my own utopia up here, but the paradise of your eyes will never be mine. How I wish… I wish that you could love me back. Do you see what you have done to me?'

Autour de moi
Je ne vois pas
Qui sont des anges
Surement pas moi
Encore une fois
Je suis cassée
Encore une fois
Je n'y crois pas

(All around me
I could not see
Who are the angels
Surely not me
Once more again
I am broken
Once more again
I don't believe it )

`But I am black and you are white. Forbidden territory. In spite of all sense, I need you, and you need me, `cause we depend on one another. Swirling in my mind, are thoughts of you. Unrealized feelings never experienced before…they scare me. But now, I'm full of them. Does that qualify me for being terrified? Wait…what am I saying, I'm Nagi, first-class bad-ass assassin!'

I've been so high
I've been so down
Up to the skies
Down to the ground

`Let's meet in the territory of gray. I'm your shadow, you're my light. Only the area between…where all compromises are made, will we be able to discover…US…

Will there ever be an us? I'm obsessing over you aren't I? I want to push you away, and yet, I also feel the need to hold you close and never let go. All these feelings without ever asking you about how you feel. I saw how you reacted to that kiss. And I believe I can safely say, that I have nary a chance. But that doesn't stop my heart, or my hormones (Lets just say that I'll be needing a long and COLD shower when I get back).'

There is a light
Above my head
Into your eyes
My face remains

<Nags! Go get me a cup of coffee would ya? >

<Schu! >

<Yeah, what's up bishi? Missed me? >

<Can't say I have… >

<That's okay, all I need is my cup of coffee…Brad's being especially bitchy, he want's me to search for a Mr. Omasa. Does he even realize how a BIG this city is? But does he have a care for me? NO…HE needs to relax and get laid…>

<Schu! Shut Up! Now look who's bitching. I'll go get your damn coffee, okay?>

<Thank you chibi, you're too kind! Now…if you'll excuse me…>

<Oh…and Schu…I know a Mr. Omasa. He's my English teacher at school. >

< o_@…ehh?? That's interesting…why would Brad want me to search for a school teacher? Huh??…ah ha ha…now this is humorous…been thinking about a certain someone a little TOO much bishonen? >

< Mou! You're too annoying! You know that teenagers today like to have some privacy!>

<Well well…getting defensive aren't we? >

<Don't you have somewhere else to go and someone else to bother Schu? >

<Sweet Nagikins…won't you come and kiss me dear boy? *bats eyelashes*…oh ho ho ^o^…! >

< o___@; Schu…get outta here! >

(slam!)

`What the hell…alright, since I already agreed, I'll go get the fucking coffee'

~*~

`Something about the peacefulness of flight lulls me. It brings back memories that I'd rather not remember. I wasn't always so jaded. I still remember…

A deserted street flashes before a young boy's eyes; and even though the streets are filled with filth, the young boy doesn't notice. Instead, he is focused on a tattered brown box discarded at the end of the street near the cracked lamppost at the corner. He walks closer and peers down into the dark depths of its bedraggled interior. Lashes rise in surprise. A litter of fuzzy kittens greet him. Perhaps the most welcoming site he has ever seen. A happy smile touches his lips and brightens his face into that of an excited child. A tentative hand reaches into the box and chances upon an active kitten. He slowly picks it up and slowly pets the kitten. He can see eyes and ears peaking out of a fuzzy ball of fur and this enchants him. However, the kitten is not satisfied with petting. Squirming, the kitten inquisitively moves out of the young boy's protective hands and climbs up the boy's shirt, only to stop and nuzzle the boy's cheek. A delighted giggle escapes his lips. It tickles! He decides to adopt these kittens. The boy carefully places the kitten back and picks up the box. He resolves to move these kittens to his sleeping pallet a few blocks north. 2 blocks later, the young boy is tired. Lack of nutrition and a small frame prevented him from carrying heavy objects for a long period of time. Still, he perseveres and finally reaches his goal, an empty, broken down brownstone that looked like it had seen better days. A dozen or so kids lived in here with him, and they were all domineered by an authoritarian like teen. It wasn't an ideal situation, but it sure beat surviving on the streets alone. The price for staying involved favors. Sometimes nii-san stole a kiss…or more.

I can't remember
When I was young
Into your eyes
My face remains

Nii-san always said that I was his favorite and that we amalgamated perfectly. I never understood what he meant until later. The kittens were allowed to stay on the condition that I be a good boy, but that wouldn't be a problem. Nii-san always said that I was the best boy he had ever been with. Good for rats (he called them, not me).

Then one day, nii-san was gone. Nothing held our group together, and so we all separated. Left with no other choice, I was forced to join another group. I never saw the kittens again. Things only got rougher for me. My new group was not gentle, and there were many times when I felt like dying. I had to do many things I wasn't proud of, but in the end, I did the only thing I could do. Humans can only take so much, mentally and physically. Survival always replaces rational thinking, the law of human nature; and so I snapped. It must have opened an unknown potential within me, something to stop the physical and mental degradation that I was going through, the power to control physically with my mind. Telekinesis. And so I killed him. Squeezed his heart until it burst while he was still beating me with his belt. He fell down, crushing me. Something heavy and liquid rolled down my cheeks. I lay in shock, until I realized that it was blood. Anguished screams filled the room. What had I done?

Into your eyes
My face remains

~*~*~****~*~*~

*TBC

*If you've been wondering how Nagi was able to fly…telekinesis ^____^…silly goose ^.^;; …and the wings are symbolic; Nagi doesn't REALLY have wings…