Weiss Kreuz Fan Fiction ❯ I Deserve ❯ Will he stay? ( Chapter 8 )

Disclaimers: I do not own the characters of Weiss Kruez, Takehito Koyasu, Tsuchiya Kyoko, Shinshokan and others do. This story is from my head and there is no way that they would even think of doing this with their characters.

Warning: Angst, minimum bad language (yeah shock I know, heh), ultra sap

Pairing: Aya x Youji - (one sided) Ken + Aya

Rating: R

Authors Note: This was my first fanfic I have ever written and reading it now, I see a lot of mistakes that I am too lazy to rectify and it is not that great a fic. I apologise and I am only glad that anyone read it in the first place; I'd love to say I am very proud of this but that would be lying. But it is my first and does have a place in my heart somewhere, and this is the last chapter that is ultra sappy so be warned. There will be an epilogue.

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Aya was feeling an emotion that he was not used to feeling…

Nervousness.

How the hell was he going to do this? How was he going to approach Youji?

"Fuck!" he sat down on his bed with frustration, time ticking away.

He knew to believe Manx, she never minced with words. If he didn't get his act together and soon, Youji would be gone from his life and he would never see him again. As far as Aya was concerned, that was not an option.

He was not sure what he was feeling for Youji, but whatever the emotion was, it was strong enough for him to want to act upon it before he lost something precious.

Frowning he growled standing up stiffly, wearing faded blue jeans outlining his slender form with a black t-shirt. His crimson hair caressed his porcelain skin as he turned his head abruptly shaking the feeling of loss away if Youji should ever walk out the door to never return.

He paled, froze and closed his eyes, a frown marring his handsome face until a smirk twitched at his perfect lips. He was surprised he didn't think of it sooner.

He would be honest with Youji and he knew that it would not be easy because he had a lot of trouble with words, especially words explaining his emotions. But he would do this; not only for Youji but mainly for himself. He was being selfish and at the moment he didn't care.

Youji was his, no matter what! That is all he knew…and all he cared about.

With determination and his chin set, Aya opened his door and made his way towards Youji's bedroom and knocked briskly.

"Doors not locked."

Smirking at Youji's response, Aya opened the door before he lost his nerve, his face set stoically.

He wanted to smile when he saw Youji's eyes widen, the emerald depths swirling with many different emotions. My Youji and he will be before the night is through.

Youji fought the joy that filled his heart and kept breathing slowly until it was beating normal once again. It was just that…it was good to see Aya in his room and staring at him, not avoiding him as he has been.

It still won't change anything Youji rationalised, he was still leaving and Aya was probably here because of a mission, and he began to hide behind the mask he called smile or be damned.

Walking towards the window to stand by Youji, Aya took a deep breath, the smell that was all Youji overwhelming him as his body tingled. Whatever this feeling was it made him feel warm inside, safe and he felt like he belonged. Aya wasn't sure what that meant but if things worked out how he thought it would then this could be his forever.

Aya knew he was not the type to spout of sonnets or let all his emotions show, it just wasn't him, but he was a man of action and it was this that was going to help him get Youji to stay here, with him, where he belongs. They would sort out the other things later on; he just had to get Youji to stay.

Youji couldn't stand the silence any longer, "you wanted something Aya?" He was pleased with his neutral tone, when inside he was a whirl pool of nerves trying to keep calm. Youji was only glad that he decided to wear his black jeans and loose white t-shirt instead of his black boxers. His honey blond hair was loose around his shoulders like thick silk, his emerald eyes guarded.

His face showing no emotion Aya nodded, "yes there is a mission. Dress casual."

Feeling deflated at this Youji berated himself for getting his hopes up. "Alright, what time?"

"Just be ready in an hour's time."

Youji nodded, "sure." He watched as Aya walked out again, fighting to control the emotions that dug deep inside of him carving a crevice full of pain. What did he think he was going to say? That he had changed his mind and wanted him back!

He laughed with bitterness and moved towards his wardrobe pulling out a large suitcase. He needed to keep his mind on something else besides the beautiful red head, and packing his things would be it.

One more week and he would be gone and his heart felt like it had been put through a shredder. He didn't want to go…but he couldn't stay either. Not now that just being in the same room with the red head could make his whole world crumble around him.

No, he had to go and he blocked out the pleading voice that tried to tell him otherwise.

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Ken couldn't concentrate and he knew that the arrangement he was working on was absolute crap. He could feel Omi watching him and it was beginning to get on his nerves. Normally he would never in his life have bad thoughts of his fellow team-mate but he wasn't getting much sleep because he kept thinking about Aya.

With a grunt he pushed the arrangement away from him and hoped that it would pass Omi's inspection. He may be the youngest but he had an iron streak in him when things had to be done.

"Ken?"

Great this is all he needed, Omi asking him what is wrong. "Omi?"

He watched as Omi moved towards him with hesitation.

"Is everything alright?"

Ken opened his mouth then shut it again to stop the lies slipping through his lips, instead he shrugged, "I didn't get much sleep last night."

"Oh."

"Nothing to worry about Omi, I ju…just can't concentrate on what I am doing." Ken knew that was the understatement of the year.

He would have to talk to Aya sooner or later and sooner would be better. He wasn't blind to the two older assassins as they seemed to avoid one another. If he had a chance, it was right now.

Omi touched his arm gently, "Why don't you have a break for half an hour, if things get to busy I will come and get you."

Surprised Ken could only stare into the cerulean stare of his friend, searching and only seeing sympathy in the sapphire depths. This made him frown as he wondered why Omi would feel pity for him.

"Thanks Omi, I will take a break." He winked at the blond and moved quickly towards the door before he changed his mind or more customers came in.

The smile on Omi's face dropped as he began to chew on his bottom lip, watching Ken walking with determined strides. Poor Ken. He shook himself knowing that he would be here for his team-mate.

***

Sighing deeply, Ken opened the fridge, his fingers wrapping around the can of soda drink. Turning he jumped slightly as Aya came into the kitchen looking at him coolly.

"Aya." Shit, shit Ken, get a grip. He hadn't meant the others name to come out so breathless and bit his lip as the red head glared at him.

"Youji and I will be on a mission this afternoon, so you and Omi will take our shifts."

"What mission Aya?" Ken flinched as cold amethysts snapped towards him but Ken couldn't help himself. Whenever Aya was around, Ken couldn't control his mouth and what came out. It was a curse especially how he felt about the red head.

"None of your business!"

Ken watched as the redhead poured himself a coffee and noticed the faraway look Aya had. Curiosity was eating at him slowly and he would give anything to know what the mission was.

Swallowing Ken finally worked up the nerve to tell Aya what he felt for him. What was the worse that could happen…?

"Um Aya--"

"Hn."

"I want…I mean th-there is something I need to say…I mean t-to tell you--"

Ken blushed as Aya turned to face him sighing impatiently, "What is it?"

Wincing from the amethyst glare now fully focussed on him, Ken gulped, I don't think I can do this…tell him.

No I have to; otherwise I will go insane not knowing.

With this last thought Ken nodded to himself closing his eyes, so that all the emotions that he carried for Aya would slowly shine into his eyes.

Raising his head as he stepped closer to Aya, Ken's chin lifted with determination only to falter as he saw Aya frown and step back, his perfect lips tightening into a thin line.

Ignoring this Ken spoke, his chocolate eyes trying to sear the emotions of love he held within himself for his team-mate, "for awhile now I have…I have had these feelings and I--"

"Aya?"

Damn you Youji! Ken quickly stepped back as Aya pushed passed him without a second glance.

With frustration Ken slammed the fridge door shut as he heard Aya and Youji talking to one another. Their voices seemed to get softer and softer until he couldn't hear what was being said. But what did it matter.

He was on the verge of letting Aya know that he was loved and by him when Youji interrupted them. Fuck you Youji why is it you always appear when you are not wanted…why?!

"Ken?"

Turning sharply Ken had to force himself to calm down before he said something he would regret. Instead he scowled at the blonde, "What do you want Youji?"

"That bad Ken?" Ken watched as Youji shook his head, "I just wanted to know if you were alright…you seem uptight about something."

Ken sighed deeply shaking his head with resignation and shrugged his shoulders, "I'm fine, just not getting enough sleep." Before Youji could answer he walked away and looked up as Aya moved towards Youji.

Sooner or later Aya will know how I feel about him because I will never give up until I tell him.

***

Aya watched the honey blond silently, trying to ignore the episode with Ken only moments ago.

When he had seen that look in Ken's eyes all of his defence mechanisms kicked in and he had to control his body from doing physical harm to the younger male. It was a look that he only knew too well and it was directed at him.

Frowning Aya knew it was the last thing they needed. Their team meant a lot to him, more than any of them realised. What it didn't need was tension between the three of them and he would protect Youji first, then his team.

Aya put things into priority and his team Weib Kreuz always came second to his sister, now that priority has shifted one step lower. His sister Aya, now Youji, then came the team. The first two were not negotiable.

Turning to Youji he pushed these thoughts to one side. "It is nearly time for us to go. Get ready."

"Sure Aya." Watching Youji leave Aya noticed sadness in the blond's eyes and hoped that after tonight, everything would be clearer for them both. Aya was unclear about his feelings but they were stronger than he has ever felt before though he was a little frightened at the emotions that were slowly unfolding inside of him. The only way he was going to get through this is to treat it like a mission for now and take each step as they came to it.

As for Ken he would leave it for now and hoped that it never came up again. The only emotion he felt for the brunet was comradeship…that was all.

Straightening up he had to prepare himself for the 'Get Youji to stay mission' and take it from there. Smirking Aya ran up the stairs, opening the door to his room his eyes briefly eyeing Youji's closed door. A soft smile tugged at his lips as he stepped into his room shutting the door behind him.

Opening his closet he grabbed a clean pair of black jeans and a violet button up shirt. He was going to wear his black leather coat and boots to match and of course his katana he would take with him just in case.

Putting his clothes on swiftly Aya took a deep breath as he felt that nervous feeling once again. Aya just hoped he didn't fuck it up today with Youji. He only had one chance and it was a chance that he wasn't taking too lightly.

Grabbing his katana, he scanned his room making sure everything was in its place. Once Aya was satisfied he left his room going into mission mode. He smirked at this, it really was a mission.

***

Youji

The ride towards their mission was quiet and Youji was uncomfortable and he was starting to worry about Ken. Never mind his own problems but the younger team-mate was starting to crack and no matter what Ken had said and done against him, Youji could understand why he did it.

Love for Aya.

Leaning his head back against the car seat, he gave said love a sidelong glance.

Frowning Youji had to wonder what the team leader was thinking about because his face was set in mission mode but…there was something different. If Youji wasn't mistaken he would swear that Aya was nervous.

Shaking his head he smirked to himself. Aya…nervous…yeah right! If it wasn't so damn quiet in the car he would have chuckled at his ridiculous notion.

Nervous and Aya just don't go together. Anyway what did it matter, this would be his last mission with the red head. Sighing he turned his attention to the scenery as Aya's Porsche slowed down to turn into…the hospital?

Frowning he quickly looked back at Aya who was gripping the steering wheel tightly his eyes resolutely faced forward. Youji's eyes widened.

Aya is nervous. Fuck! What kind of mission are we on?

He watched silently as the red head parked his Porsche in a clearly marked parking space. Warning: Private parking reserved for ARF only. Risk vehicle being towed away at your own cost.

Youji swallowed hard and hopped out of the car keeping his eyes averted, for some strange reason Youji knew not to ask any questions, so he kept his mouth firmly shut…for once. Private parking…Aya…

Brushing his hand through his hair Youji followed Aya, his black jeans moulding to his body. He wore a black turtleneck top and a long leather coat down to his ankles. Aya said casual but Youji felt comfortable in these clothes and so he wore them with his black leather boots which barely made a sound as they entered the hospital. They headed for the elevator and he sighed with relief as the door opened, both men entering, Aya pushing the button.

Slyly looking at his team-mate Youji started to nibble on his bottom lip. Okay…Aya is beginning to worry me. He would kill to have a cigarette right now.

He jumped with a start as the elevator tinged and abruptly stopped. Youji had to admit to himself…he was fucking nervous now.

Great going Aya!

He then followed Aya down the corridors, the quiet, so peaceful and so right to Youji. The nurses all nodded at Aya in recognition and looked with surprise at Youji. He just smiled at them, not his flirty smile; no he hasn't used that mask for awhile. Not since Aya kissed him on the roof top.

Aya stopped abruptly and Youji had to use his quick reflexes to stop himself from running into Aya, who was so still, his eyes glued to the closed door.

Youji wanted to reach out and hold him because Aya was acting strangely.

He watched as the redhead took a deep breath, his pale slender hand pushing the door open, squaring his shoulders.

Youji stepped through as Aya beckoned him to enter, and Youji heard the firm click as the door shut firmly behind them.

The usual hospital smell ghosted around him, the sound of soft breathing, heart monitor beeping in the background. It wasn't this that had caught Youji's attention. No, it was the slender form lying in the bed, pale like a ghost.

She had dark hair and the face of an Angel. Youji stopped breathing as he saw Aya approach the girl, the redheads face softening, his hand reaching towards the female's hair and stroking it with loving tenderness. A sight Youji thought he would never see.

The female didn't acknowledge the touch; she just lay there so still, like a statue. Youji looked with confusion at Aya who hadn't said a word since they entered the room.

Then Aya inhaled deeply.

Youji waited.

"Youji, this is Aya Fujimiya."

Youji's eyes widened as he held his breath and he frowned as thoughts began to fly erratically in his head. His brain was trying to understand the meaning of Aya's words.

If she is Aya Fujimiya then that means…

"Yes Youji, she is my sister."

Youji's head jerked upwards and he wasn't sure what he was supposed to say and then it dawned on him. The intense stare Aya was giving him, making his world tip to one side, as only Aya could do this to him.

She is the reason why Aya decided that they shouldn't see each other any more. Shuddering with relief Youji averted his eyes to stare down at his black boots.

Aya was protecting his sister and was not disgusted with him…his past.

A ghost of a smile tugged at Youji's face, lifting his head he made himself stare into Aya's violet stare. Finally understanding what Aya meant when he let him go.

What were his words? "I need time to think Youji. I hope you understand this, but there are things in my life that you don't know about and it is this that I need to sort out."

Youji was not sure what he was going to say but the first thing he said made Aya smile at him softly. "She is beautiful."

Aya nodded at him, "yes she is."

Youji watched as Aya turned back to his sister, "she is in a coma and has been for awhile. I made a vow to protect her after I failed to the first time." He turned back to look at Youji sadly, "she will always come first to me."

His chest tightening at the emotion Aya was allowing him to see, Youji smiled warmly his heart beating with a loud thump against his chest, "As she should Aya…is…is that what I call you?"

Aya nodded, "yes, but when we are alone…I-I want you to call me Aya-Ran. Ran is my true name but Aya is now apart of me that I'm not willing to part with…yet."

"Of course Aya...Ran," it would take some getting used to, "but there is something you should--"

"No Youji don't say another word just hear what I have to say first."

Youji was surprised with the request and decided to wait to tell Aya he was leaving the team.

***

Aya-Ran

"She is beautiful."

Aya tried to stop the slight curving of his lips but he was pleased with Youji's words and was relieved that he had made the right choice in showing Youji his sister and giving him his real name.

He stiffened when Youji began to talk, knowing what he was about to say and stopped him.

"No Youji, don't say another word; just hear what I have to say first." Aya watched as the blond walked towards him, then stood on the other side of his sister's bed his face calm showing no emotion.

Aya was relieved when Youji looked down at his sister, his green stare looking with curiosity at Aya-chan.

The words began to jumble inside of his head and he unconsciously grabbed his sisters left hand, feeling the coolness against his warm palm…giving him the strength and determination to decipher and make sense of the confusion swirling in his mind.

"I…" Aya took a deep breath; it was not as easy as he had thought. No it was fucking hard!

Aya noticed that Youji still kept his eyes averted and silently thanked the blond for understanding the trouble he was having with his words.

Taking another deep breath he squeezed his sister's hand and lifted his chin, if he was going to do this, he was going to do it the right way. Youji deserved this much…and more.

"Could we try again?"

Aya winced inside but he didn't have the gift of speaking the words he was feeling. Instead he silently watched Youji who swallowed hard then looked up at him with surprise.

"A-Aya I'm not sure I understand--" he watched Youji's silky hair caress the blond's face as he shook his head, "I-I mean why me?"

Shrugging Aya shook his head, "I don't know Youji I just do and I haven't had this feeling before…I mean…to want to try and see where whatever we are feeling goes." Shit this was really hard.

Watching the emotions playing on the blond's face Aya almost smiled, this was just as hard for Youji as it was for himself. They both had a lot to learn to about letting part of their mask down to another person but the difference was, Aya was willing to…just for Youji.

Aya knew he could have had anyone at anytime, Yuuishi the Knight from Crashers, and select others at that time, but he wasn't ready then. He could have of had Ken, but there was no feeling there, well not like this anyway. With Ken he felt the same thing he felt for Omi, brotherhood.

Youji had always been different. If he was to look back on the times that he was with the tall blond, he knew that there was always this special feeling towards Youji from the first time they had met.

No it wasn't Ken who comforted him or made him feel like he should belong, on the contrary Ken treated him badly and had hurt him, Aya admittedly knew why, he was an asshole that day, this being the understatement of the century.

Aya smirked then blinked twice as his memories warmed him inside, that first meeting had made no difference to Youji; he still treated him like a human being and tried everything in his power to make Aya feel like he belonged.

Of course Aya would never admit this too anyone, not even himself, he was still to keyed up with revenge, loneliness and worrying about the care of his sister. His sister that he wanted to share with no one, not until now that is.

He looked up sharply as Youji exhaled softly his voice husky and soft, sending a thrill up Aya's spine. The sound was strangely erotic.

"I would like that Aya; I would like it a lot."

Aya could see that Youji was having just as much a hard time as he was. If this situation wasn't so serious he would have laughed but held it back, this was no time to laugh, they were both emotionally raw from their past and Aya had promised himself that he would never hurt Youji intentionally. With this in mind he nodded with determination, "It won't be easy Youji, I can't change who I am, who I have become overnight but--"

He watched the smile spread on the blond's beautiful face, and caught his breath. The words his father had said to his mother when they were relaxed and could only see each other came to him, 'The sun has nothing on your smile Angel'.

Aya didn't understand what that meant at that time but he did now. Youji's smile lit up the whole room, sending warmth and heat everywhere, encompassing all that was around him, his sister, himself, like they belonged together as one.

Swallowing, Aya had trouble controlling the emotions that slammed against the barrier he had erected around his heart and Youji's words made the barrier tremble altogether.

"Aya Ran, I don't want you to change, not one bit. If anything I like Aya and I know that when Ran is ready…I-I will like him too."

'You smile is the sun, your eyes the emerald sea, but it is your presence, that will mean everything to me'.

With determination Aya lifted his right hand to entwine them with Youji's. "We will get through this together Youji, it will be rough but we will get pass it somehow. You and I--" his face softened looking down at his sister, "and Aya-chan."

The squeeze of Youji's hand sealed the pact, the promise and Aya realised that everything was going to be okay. One day his sister would awake from the deep sleep she was in, and she would accept this blond into her life like he had, and Youji would finally have a family of his own…just like Aya Ran.

A/N: Epilogue on its way. It will be seven months after this moment at the hospital and everything will be resolved especially the issue with Ken. With onesided love there is going to be hurt somewhere.