Weiss Kreuz Fan Fiction ❯ I Never Even Told You ❯ Too Late? ( Chapter 9 )

I Never Even Told You

By: Atsureki

Disclaimers : I still don't own Weiß

Paring : Aya/Ken, Yoji/Ken

Warnings : Shonen-ai, OCC, angst.

Notes : Stuff written in Italic are thoughts.

Chapter 9. Too Late?

Ken stared at the unknown woman who now clinged to Aya's hand. Who the hell was she? What was she doing there and how did he know Aya's real name? Her brown eyes were filled with tears as she kept on babbling.

"Ken?" He turned around slowly and looked at his lover. "You okay?" Ken didn't answer, didn't even know what the answer was anymore. He was so tired and so confused. Without pressing the issue any further Yoji wrapped his arms around him and held him tight. "You'll get through this Ken."

"Will I?" the brunette mumbled so quietly that his lover didn't hear him.

"Um who are you people?" Ken ignored the woman's question and pressed his body closer to Yoji's.

"We were just wondering the same," the lanky blonde muttered and softly ran his hands over Ken's back.

"I'm Takiko," she answered flatly and Ken could feel her eyes in his back. "And you are?"

"Yoji," the blonde almost growled and tightened the hold he had around the brunette's trembling form.

"I'm Omi," Omi mumbled from the other side of the room, "and that's Ken." Good he wouldn't have to answer himself.

"Hm, and just what are you doing here?!" At that Ken freed himself from Yoji's arms and turned around to glare at Takiko.

"What right do you have to ask us that? What are you doing here yourself?!" he snapped and narrowed his chocolate eyes. "How do you know Ran?"

"K… Ken?"

~*~*~*~*~*~*

God how blurry everything was. He cursed inside and struggled to make out the vague figures that were melting together in front of him. His vision cleared a little and immediately three of the four people standing there disappeared. All his tired eyes could see was HIM.

"K… Ken?" he asked with uncertainty. Was the brunette really there or was his mind playing tricks on him.

"Aya." It was barely a whisper. His former lover came up to him but stopped about two feet away from his now outstretched hand.

"Ran!" Suddenly the brunette vanished from his sight, blocked by a raven haired woman. Move damnit! Aya screamed inside as his eyes desperately tried to see through her. "I was so worried about you! We thought we had lost you when you didn't answer." A small hand grabbed his and soft lips were pressed against his cheek.

"Ken?" he asked again. It seemed like his former lover's name was the only thing he could get out at the moment.

"Ran do you know these people?" Yes damnit so get lost would you!? I don't want you here! the redhead muttered to himself and pulled to get his hand loose.

"Aya-kun who is this woman?" Amethyst eyes glanced to the right and found Omi standing there looking rather confused.

"Hera," Aya growled with annoyance and winced as his body finally had had enough with concealing the pain talking caused him. His face turned even paler and his eyes closed as he fought with the agony.

"You're hurting him! Let go!" a familier voice snapped and the hand that held his was removed. "Aya? Please open your eyes Aya." Obediently he did as he was told and met the concerned and angry eyes of his former lover.

"Ken," the redhead breathed out. "Hurts."

"I know, I know just relax. Yoji go get Doctor Lee."

~*~*~*~*~*~*

"Now do you mind telling me who the hell you are?" Ken glared at Takiko and refused to answer. He was NOT talking to the blasted woman!

"You're being rude," Yoji snorted and wrapped an arm around the brunette's slender waist.

"And you're little lover-boy there isn't? What right does he have to talk to me like that?!" Takiko's voice rose several octaves.

"Probably more right than you ever will so back off lady!" Ken sighed and leaned against the blonde's lanky body. He was so very very tired and deeply concerned about his former lover.

"Cute! Do you think he can answer for himself or is he too much of a whimp?" the woman sneered and glared at Ken.

"Okay that's enough from you! I don't care who you are but you better shut the fuck up!" Yoji snapped and his green eyes turned ice cold.

"How dare you?! Why don't you take your little faggot friend and piss off!?!" He couldn't take this anymore. All the screaming Yoji and Takiko were doing gave him a splitting headache.

"Shut up." The kept on yelling insults to each other without hearing him. "Shut up! SHUT UP! SHUT UP! SHUT UP!" Ken screamed and pressed his hands over his ears. Yoji released him when he started screaming and took a step back. They all stared at him but at least they kept quiet.

"Ken-kun?" Omi mumbled and approached his friend. "Let's go back to Aya and see what Doctor Lee says." The brunette nodded numbly and allowed the little blonde to lead him away. He didn't know how to handle this, what to do. Inside him was complete chaos and his tired brain just couldn't deal with it at the moment.

Aya was awake and he would be alright, or at least the doctor said so but that didn't really solve Ken's problems. What did he feel towards the silent redhead who had hurt him so badly, who he had hurt so badly? What did he feel towards Yoji who had helped him so much, who he had taken advantage of? He just didn't know anymore.

"Ah Hidaka-san." The brunette looked up and met Doctor Lee's gentle eyes.

"How's Aya?" Omi asked quietly and placed a hand on Ken's arm as if to borrow him some much needed strength.

"Fujimiya-san is weak and in a lot of pain but other than that he's doing as well as I could expect," she smiled calmly. "However I must ask you not to upset him. He doesn't have the energy to handle anything major at the moment." Ken swallowed. Was he to be considered something major? "Hidaka-san, he's asking for you." The brunette nodded but made no attempt to move.

"Go ahead Ken-kun, go to him," Omi said softly and gave him a little push. With hesitation Ken started walking and entered the room to face his former lover.

~*~*~*~*~*~*

Aya let out a low hiss when the drugs finally kicked in and numbed the pain a little. Dear Gods how his body hurt. Every breath was agony and it felt like he had a truck sitting on his chest. He was tired too but he refused to succumb to the need to sleep before he could talk to Ken.

First of all he had to say what he should have said so long ago to his former lover, then he could sleep, die, whatever, it didn't matter. A part of his brain was angry with Hera for showing up like that. He knew she was interested in him even though she disliked him so much. Aya stopped himself from snorting at the thought.

Damn woman who refused to take the message he had so clearly given to her. His heart belonged to Ken, it always had and it always would even if the brunette didn't want him anymore. The door to his room opened and Ken came in.

"You were asking for me?" The brunette sounded strange, so unlike Ken. Aya studied his face for a moment before looking into the chocolate eyes that haunted him at night. The light in them was gone, taken away, stolen and he was the one who had done that. When he didn't answer Ken came closer but just as before he didn't come all the way up to the redhead.

"I need to talk to you," Aya said softly, still having problems with getting the words out without gasping. The brunette nodded.

"I'm here so talk." His voice wasn't angry it just sounded tired.

"I'm sorry for the way I left." He got no reaction. "Even more so I'm sorry for hurting you so much. I never meant to, I just…" Aya's voice trailed off but Ken didn't say anything, he just observed his former lover. "I really thought you knew Ken." This was so hard. The redhead lowered his eyes and swallowed.

"Thought I knew what?" Ken asked slowly and cocked his head slightly.

"I know I should have told you, then showed you instead of the other way around but I… But I knew I would lose you Ken, I always knew, it was just a matter of when. And I didn't…" Unchecked tears trailed down his pale cheeks.

"What are you trying to tell me Aya?!" Ken asked harshly and the redhead quickly glanced up. Those brown eyes were confused, sad and a little bit angry.

"You thought I was using you and I wasn't, I could never do that to you Ken but I just couldn't say what I felt for you." Aya paused for a moment. "I… I love you Ken and I'm so sorry that I failed to show you, to tell you, that. It was never my intention not to say those words to you."

"I love you too, a part of me always will but it doesn't matter anymore. It's too late Aya, we can't go back. We have to move on and forget this." With those words the brunette turned around and left. Amethyst eyes shining with tears stared after him until the door closed behind him.

"I can't Ken, I can't move on and I can't forget," Aya croaked out to the empty room. "I love you too much to do that."

~*~*~*~*~*~*

Ken slid down against the wall and to the floor. Why had he said that? Why had he pushed Aya away, again? He didn't know for sure. What he did know was that he still loved the redhead, always would but it wasn't that easy.

If they tried again there was a chance that they end up failing not to mention that he would have to break everything off with Yoji and he wasn't so sure he really wanted that. He loved Yoji too, even if it wasn't the same kind of love that he had for Aya. It just felt like it was too late for them to find a way back to each other. Ken sighed deeply and hid his face in his hands.

"I do love you Aya I just don't know if I'm strong enough to be with you again," he mumbled quietly. His heart objected by informing him that he might not be strong enough to be without the redhead either. He knew that that was true. The two years that had gone by had proven that much. Without Aya he was lost and incomplete but what guarantees did he have that being together again would erase that?

He was too tired, too confused, to sort this out. All he wanted was… The answer that came to him made him wince. All he wanted was for things to go back to the way they had been before he had confronted Aya with his feelings.

He wanted their relationship back the way it had used to be. His heart and soul wanted the redhead to hold him when they slept but he didn't know if he dared to hope for it anymore, if he could reach that far within himself. Maybe sometimes love just wasn't enough?

~TBC~

This story is falling apart right before my eyes. *sighs* It seems like I've lost my touch *laffs* My muse is not happy with me and refuses to help me with anything. *grr* OH well whether or not this chapter sucks here it is. I have no idea where to go form here but we'll see what happens, ne? Ja/Atsureki