Weiss Kreuz Fan Fiction ❯ Lament ❯ Lament ( One-Shot )

Disclaimer: You know the drill… Weiss doesn't belong to me, no matter how hard I wish it… why can't I just have Ken? I'm not greedy… Just a short fic, angsty as always, lime, sap, and other hopefully good things, depending on your pov…

Lament

They couldn't keep meeting like this.

Ken sighed, watching the bright sunlight flirt with the ceiling of the hotel room. It was getting too dangerous for both of them.

The boy curled against him on the bed stirred, his soft, feathery hair tickling Ken's chest. Ken stroked a lock of baby-fine hair out of the boy's eyes, fingertips caressing one soft cheek. He glanced at the clock. Eight minutes to five. Almost time to go.

The boy opened sleepy blue eyes, gazing up at Ken. "Is it time to go?"

"Almost," Ken admitted.

The boy snuggled closer in his arms. "I don't want to go."

Ken smiled. "I don't want you to go either, but people will start wondering where you are. School's out. At least I have soccer as an excuse." His chest tightened as those blue eyes fastened on his face. He always felt as if those eyes could see right through him, straight to his soul. Maybe they could.

Ken closed his own eyes, not wanting to watch what his next words would do to that open, trusting face.

"This is getting dangerous. Maybe it's getting too risky."

"What are you saying?" It was almost a whisper. "What did I do wrong?"

"Nothing, you didn't do anything wrong." Ken opened his eyes, staring at the way the sun painted patterns on the pale cream walls. "I just don't want things to end badly for either of us. We knew this would happen." He glanced down, forcing himself to see the hurt in that innocent face, those glorious eyes. He felt tears sting his own eyes and refused to let them fall.

"We both knew it would be soon. It's been over a month already. I think it's best if…"

"Don't."

The pleading note in that voice was almost too much for him.

"Nagi…"

"Don't," he said again, tears forming in his eyes. "I can't do it, Ken. I won't."

"Do you want to wait for them to find out?" Ken asked, trying to make Nagi see reason. "Don't you know what they would do to us?"

"I don't care. Let's leave, go anywhere. Leave Japan. As long as I'm with you I don't care where I am."

Ken hugged Nagi tight. He cursed himself for letting things go this far. He hadn't intended to feel as deeply for the boy as he'd come to, and he certainly had never intended to let Nagi fall as far as he had. If he'd really given it any thought at all, he wouldn't even have begun this dance. But Nagi had been irresistible that night…

"It wouldn't work, koi," he whispered into Nagi's hair, trying to ignore the incredible silkiness against his lips, ignore the way his heart was screaming at him to hang on to this boy and never let go. "You know Kritiker would hunt me down. I can't ever leave Weiss."

"But…" Nagi trailed off.

"We knew what would happen. We knew the first time. Isn't it better to end it now, before it hurts worse?" Ken nearly choked on the words. He wanted to stay here, in this room, this bed, with this boy in his arms forever. He'd never felt so at peace with himself, never felt so much for anyone else. He forced himself to continue.

"It hurts, Nagi, when Schwartz and Weiss tangle and I have to pretend. I can't stand the thought of you being hurt. And if one day I'm forced to hurt you to keep up the charade…" He shook his head. "I can't do it. And then they'll find out and hurt you anyway."

Ken read the defeat written on the boy's face, and eased his body away from Nagi's. "You know it's what we have to do."

Nagi nodded, shoulders slumped as he sat up in the bed, sheet draped around his waist. Ken turned away and got up, pulling on his clothes. Every nerve cried out against leaving. Ken fought for composure. In the long run this would be better for both of them. He couldn't break down now.

Fully dressed and ready to leave, he took a deep breath and turned back to Nagi, who was still sitting on the bed, the sheet bunched up around his waist, his pale chest smooth, his face carefully blank. He sat down on the edge of the bed.

"Please don't hate me," he whispered, reaching out to brush Nagi's cheek with his fingers.

Nagi rubbed his cheek against Ken's hand. "I could never hate you, koi," he said, staring into Ken's eyes. He tried to smile. "You're right, it's all we can do."

He came to the edge of the bed, wrapped his arms around Ken's body. Ken held him tight, burying his face into the smooth curve of Nagi's neck, inhaling the boy's scent. He raised his head and brushed his lips against Nagi's, which parted invitingly. They kissed long and deeply, tenderly. Ken's hands slid down the length of Nagi's naked flesh as the boy pressed against him. Gently he drew back, raising his hands to cup Nagi's face.

Just say it, he told himself. Just tell him you love him.

"Nagi," he whispered.

Nagi just gazed up at him, tears sliding down his face.

"Ai shiteru." Abruptly he released the boy and left the room, closing the door behind him. He leaned against the wall for a minute, unable to force himself to move. Faintly he heard the sound of Nagi's sobs through the door. He swung away from the wall and strode down the hall to the elevators, punching the down button. The elevator came and he stared moodily at the ceiling until the door opened and he could leave.

He walked quickly out to his bike, and just stood there, helmet hanging from one hand as he imagined Nagi crying alone in the room he'd just left. Cursing, he swiped a fist at the wall he'd parked his bike beside. He barely noticed the blood running down his hand and dripping onto the pavement, didn't register the physical pain. It was over.

Ken peeled out of the parking lot without looking back.

~Owari~