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"Yohji! NO!"

Hands tugged at his arms, hauled him aside. He was numb. In a haze, he watched the arrived emergency crew work on Yohji. They gave an injection, shocked him, and finally got him to open his eyes again. They then poured something into his mouth what caused Yohji to retch violently. Afterwards they set up an IV, an oxygen mask and hauled him up a stretcher. Suddenly it was utterly still. He was alone. He looked around.

He was kneeing on the floor of their old bedroom. Yohji's blood was everywhere. Blood; on the bed mostly and on the floor, too. On the door, it was smeared around the handle and the frame. He had to go to Yohji. God, where had they taken him? He rose to his feet and hurried out of the room, as he was stopped by a voice.

"Here, first clean yourself up a bit." The woman from earlier stepped out of the bathroom holding on to his arm and a wet towel out to him. "You are Ran."

He narrowed his eyes and tilted his head as he took the offered towel and cleaned hastily his blood smeared hands. "Yes."

"You have a car here?" She paused as he shook his head. "I can drive you to the hospital. Come."

On their way out, she picked up a letter and keys from the kitchen table. She locked the door and turned to close and lock up the open door across the hall too. He followed her silently down as she hurried to the street and into her car.

She reached him the letter before she pulled swiftly into the traffic. "I think, you need to read this."

Slowly taking the letter, he stared a moment at the folded piece paper. Then he reached up and turned the reading light on while unfolding the letter with the other hand. He recognized Yohji's handwriting instantly.

=========

Mariko,

I'm truly sorry, that you have to find such a mess. But I'm not sorry, to have done this at last. Finally, I can let go of the past. You know that I was waiting for something and that there only have been two possibilities in the end. I am, at last, free now from my demons. Don't be sad. I'm definitively at ease now.

My spirit already died a little, as my first love left me. That day, my last love left me; it took my heart away with him. Although I've been lucky - how many people are graced with two true loves at one life? Many don't even have that once in their lifetime. So, be happy for me. I'm at piece right now, the nagging ignorance is gone.

I have at last two favors to ask: Please, will you take care of Neko? I know you will. You are a very good person. I cherished that creature, although it was a mere substitute. But I don't think he cared about that. I've put enough money for food, goods and medical care in the envelope to last for his lifetime. Second, will you see to it, that the other two letters will be delivered?

At last, I will thank you deeply, for all your efforts you took with me the past sixteen months. But I know; you knew from the start that short of one thing, there would be no future for me anymore. It was only a matter of reason.

Take care of you and Neko, will you?

Yohji

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Aya's hand, holding the paper, shook. The letter slipped his grip. His whole body trembled. God, what had he done? He had to swallow a few times, before he was able to utter a word. "Will he make it?"

She sighed. "I don't know. We have to wait and see. It's a short call. He was in shock already. And he's not in the best constitution." She drove swiftly, seemed to know the way well. "But it's good, I had them instructed to bring blood substitute with them. Although, I don't know when it was he took that pills. Maybe, it's too late at all."

"I left half an hour ago." Ran whispered and ran a shaking hand through his hair.

"Then they will be able to get most of it out of him. How much depends, it he wrote the letters before or after he took them. There we are." She parked the car in the employee section of the hospital and after they entered it, she left him standing in the middle of the hall and talked with the receptionist, who made then a short call.

After returning, she took him by the arm and led him through the hallways into a small empty waiting room. "They still work on him. The doctor will come here afterwards."

He nodded as he sat down on a chair, head hung low. "You work here." It was a statement, not a question.

"Yes, I'm a nurse here." She sat down on the edge of a chair beside him. "You are an idiot. When it is true what you said to him ealier, why walking away?"

He shrugged. "I don't know anymore. At the time, it seemed the right thing to do." He clenched and unclenched his hands in his lap. "Will he survive?"

"I still don't know. If I hadn't switched unexpectedly the second part of my shift …" She trailed off, got up and walked to the window, looked out. "Maybe it wasn't his time to die, yet. It's a good sign they haven't finished so far with him, there is hope." Coming up in front of him, she put a hand on his shoulder. "If he does, you have to make this right."

He slowly nodded. "Yes. I will. Thank you."

On her way out, she almost collided with a doctor, stepping in the room. "Ah, Hinada Mariko. You are related to this young man in our care?"

"No doctor. He's my neighbor. He has no relatives anymore." She cast a quick glance to Ran. "This one is the only one you could call next of kin. So, what news do you bring?"

Ran had risen and stepped near the two. He was frightened, what news the doctor had to tell. But he had to know.

"We were able to stabilize the patient, to compensate the blood loss and remove a good portion of this poison off his stomach. It helped much, that you were able to give details on your emergency call. We have done all we can. Although, he is in intensive care now, there is no apparent mortal danger at the moment. Still, his condition is not very good, as to his bad physical shape. He has fallen into a coma. It depends now, how strong his will to life is."

Ran swayed. All he had heard was 'intensive care' 'bad shape' and 'coma'. This can't be. He had to sit down again. It was entire his fault. Yohji was in a coma. Dear god, why has fate to repeat itself? First Aya, now Yohji.

He looked up at the doctor. "Can I see him?"

"I can't see, what harm it would do." The doctor shrugged. "Although, we don't know if he will regain consciousness. Intensive station, Room 214." The doctor sized him up. "You look very pale, young man. Anything you need?"

"No. Thank you." Ran muttered, shaking his head. He mustered to get up and walk out to the floor. It took him a moment for orientation, but finally he stood before the announced door. Slowly pushing it open, he bit his lip at the sight in front of him. A very pale Yohji in a white hospital bed, hooked up on tubes and an IV, connected on monitors. He looked so peaceful, like a sleeping angel to Ran. Like his sister once did. But his sister was awake, now. Yohji had to wake up, too. He grabbed a chair and seated himself beside the bed.

"I'm so sorry." He captured Yohji's bony hand and hold on, slowly running his thumb across the back of it. "I'm such an idiot. I lied to you, and thought it was all you needed to go on." He laughed bitterly. "All you needed was for me to be honest. And as I told you the truth, it was almost too late. I love you, you know? I will tell you as often, as you want to hear it and never leave you again, I promise. I will stay with you until you send me away. But you have to wake up. Please, Yohji."

He sighed and leaned forward, resting his forehead on his arms, crossed on the sheets. "Please." He whispered now. "I know, I don't deserve it. I will do anything you want me to do. But please, please wake up again. I am such a fool." Sitting there, pleading he remained until the door opened and a nurse stepped in, to check on Yohji's condition.

"You have to go now. This station is not allowed for visitors. You can leave your phone number at the nurses' station. We will notify you, when there is a change in his condition or when he will be transferred."

He slowly stood and replaced the chair. He must have looked miserable, because the nurse stepped closer and patted him on the arm. "After all, he got a good dose of sleeping pills. He won't wake up until the effect wears off, even, if his condition were normal. Give it time. Go home, sleep a little."

Nodding, he left the room, gradually the hospital. Outside, he stopped, looked up at the cloudless nightly sky. Standing in the cold winter night, he watched the twinkling stars and vowed to the heaven, "I will make this right. I promise. Please, give us a last chance."

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tbc