Weiss Kreuz Fan Fiction ❯ Love Me ❯ Confusion ( Chapter 2 )

Warnings: yaoi and LIMEY chapter, you have been warned!

Standard disclaimers…

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Love Me

Chapter 2 - Confusion

Kill.

Kill.

Kill.

Such was the only word reverberating through one Hidaka Ken's mind. The target? A hysteric blond. Ever since Youji learned of the night's events, he wouldn't stop cackling. After the `pee' incident, he just couldn't stifle his amusement and full out laughter broke out. He laughed so hard his sides hurt, and when his eyes drifted towards the soccer player's now dry pants, he laughed some more. So much more that he had trouble staying in his seat and gracelessly rolled onto the floor; his arms were wrapped tightly around his torso as his belly ached with mirth.

Kill…

-----

Ken was still recovering from the discouragement for a number of days since. He had avoided Aya to the best of his abilities simply because he did not know what to do. Ken more or less abandoned the flirting concept, that just wasn't him, nor did he want a repeat performance of that dinner. Merely recalling what happened caused his cheeks to burn up.

"Oooo someone's thinking hentai thoughts."

Youji. That cur-sed man again.

"Youji-kun! I'm sure Ken-kun wasn't thinking of… of THAT. Only you would."

Ah, sweet little Omi.

"That? You mean sex? Intercourse? Fucking?" The playboy nearly purred out his words. Almost simultaneously, the over abundant hormone vessel was pelted with a cushion and a jacket both with equal velocity and opposite directions. "Itai, just because you two aren't getting any, you don't have to take it out on me."

If the three were competing for the Olympics right now, they would probably bring home the gold for sprinting, hurdling and in Omi's case, shot put. Within a minute, the living room and all of its contents were littered everywhere, they were about to proceed to the kitchen when they met a surprised and angry set of violets. Aya's eyes actually grew larger by almost a fraction of a millimetre as he took in what used to be their living quarters. The carpet was paved with magazines and cushions, nearly everything from the coffee table to his favourite armchair was grossly displaced, the sofa was lying on its back, and why could he see the phone jack from here?

The guilty three froze mid step as if immortalized in a Kodak moment. Leading was Youji with one foot still suspended in the air, then Ken close behind with one hand almost touching Youji's shoulder and the other one reaching out as well, lastly, Omi was a little further back with his body angled into a pitching position, in his right hand was the phone, cord and all.

"Hey… Aya." Youji managed to awkwardly blurt out. Then in an act of incredible cowardice to which he reasoned in his mind as an act of friendship, his used his assassin speed and swivelled around, placed both hands on a still frozen Ken, and shoved Ken towards Aya not unlike a sacrificial lamb. And before anyone could compose himself, he fled.

Sensing an escape route as well, Omi gave an apologetic smile before he bolted right after the other blond.

Well, what were friends for?

"Haa… hey… Aya…"

"Clean it up. Now."

-----

The only thing keeping Ken from ripping a limb from his `best friend' was that after the danger that was Aya had subsided, Youji and Omi offered him a valid excuse to try to get closer to their leader. He could cook dinner as apology and the two blonds would conveniently disappear come dinnertime. Youji reasoned he'd need every opportunity he could get. Of course, having them clean up the entire living room didn't hurt either. So here was Ken, standing in front of the stove concentrating on his recently acquired cooking skills. He had been practicing secretly (as secretly as living in a house with three other men would allow) for a while now, and tonight was as good as any to try and impress his redhead. His specialty was tofu-ryori, but he thought that might be too plain, so he'd opted to make some European food. The cookbook was lying nearby, it was left open on Arrosto Morto di Pollo Alla Bolognese, some sort of fancy chicken pot roast and greased fingerprints could be seen all over the pages. Ken was sure to make enough for all of them, he wasn't going to make the same mistake twice and fail horribly at trying to explain why dinner was for two. Guess who'll be eating leftovers tomorrow though.

The ground beef was simmering nicely over the stove, and the aroma from the oven spread wonderfully around the house attracting a lecherous playboy in its wake. Said playboy stealthily slid up to Ken and peered over his shoulder.

"Mmm, smells good. Whatcha cooking Kenken?"

"Thanks. This is for the wraps." Youji retreated back a step and slid a small object into the side pocket of the brunette's jeans. "Oi! What'd you put in there?!" Ken reached backed and as his hand freed the saucepan's handle, Youji quickly took hold of it and hoisted it from the stove.

"Careful Kenken, this is going to burn if you ignore it."

"Youji! Give that back!"

"Say please."

"Youji!"

"Fine, fine, jeesh." He relinquished the saucepan and smirked to himself; Ken was too easy to distract. The playboy leaned on the counter with his hands crossed over his chest and continued to stare at Ken with a look of deep contemplation marring his handsome features. Feeling the man's eye bore into him, the brunette fidgeted.

"Yotan, go away. You're distracting me."

"But I'm not doing anything over here. Did you know you're over dressed?" Ken looked confusedly at his attire, a jersey, an apron, and blue jeans. Youji chuckled at Ken's cute confusion, then his expression changed from kind brotherly figure to perversely dirty manwhore. He lowered his voice and leered, "You shouldn't be wearing anything under that apron at all. You'll look *fuckably sexy*. And here," he patted the counter for emphasis "would be the perfect place to make use of that open backside."

Ken sputtered and nearly dropped the wooden spatula in his hand. His face was flushed bright red and he couldn't even voice a proper retort. His mind was swimming from Youji's ever-suggestive words. Would Aya do that? Would HE do that?! The brunette chose to turn his eyes back to the task at hand and not take the bait for once. Ken tried to concentrate on stirring, he honestly did, but cut up pieces of beef and vegetables soaked in bubbling oil didn't quite compare to an image of himself, scantily clad and bent over the counter with the love of his life in a similar state of undress standing proudly behind him with something else standing out proudly ready to…

"It's going to burn." A calm deep voice close by said.

Ken snapped his head to the side and there he was, Aya, in the flesh. Instinctively, Ken yelped and hopped back thrusting the wooden spatula towards the man warningly as if it were a sword. Aya raised an eyebrow in amusement, it's not everyday you get threatened with a spatula. The brunette was indeed acting oddly these days. Aya was taken aback at finding him in the kitchen, cooking at that, and without the cloud of dark smoke that seemed to come hand in hand with Ken and the stove. Whatever he was not burning smelled decent and he had curiously approached the source. He found Ken staring off into space, the man didn't even seem to notice him get this close and it disturbed him to a degree. As assassins, they were required to be alert at all times, just because this was their home did not mean they were safe from harm, and not noticing an enemy approaching to such proximity would prove to be fatal. He spoke up with the intent to announce his presence, not to startle the man, but he had, and was now face to face with a flushed Ken crouched into attack position trying to intimidate him with a spatula.

Youji's sudden roar of laughter broke the awkward moment. He was draped over the back of the sofa smacking the padding with a fist. Youji had left Ken's side once he heard someone approaching and had witness the whole scene safely from the couch, he'd never expected Ken to jump out of his skin and try to ward off the redhead like that. With the amount of laughter he's been undertaking these last few days, he thought he'd die of laughter.

Ken thought he'd die of embarrassment. What the hell did he do that for? But having the redhead barely inches beside him when he was in the midst of that fantasy came as a complete surprise. With the addition of Aya standing right next to that counter… Ken shook his head, what the hell's wrong with him? To think he was just visualizing about Aya taking him in the kitchen of all unholy places! His mind sure wasn't what it used to be no thanks to that evil blond over there. Over the years together, Youji seemed to have succeeded in corrupting his mind and warp it into a testable version Kudou-wanabee's. Ken groaned out loud and stomped his foot, he sent a deathly glare to the culprit then took a deep breath before he turned to face Aya, it's not like he could embarrass himself anymore than he already did. He quickly glanced at Aya not daring to make eye contact and mumbled an apology then tried to act busy attending to the now burnt stuffing. There goes the appetizer.

Heavy footsteps came from the stairs and the last member of Weiss shouted from atop, "Ahh something's burning! Ken-kun I thought you could cook now?"

Ken stiffened at that. He could cook now; it was just a stupid Youji and a sexy Aya causing interference. "Everything's okay Omi, don't worry!" He shouted back.

Omi descended to the main level with an overstuffed backpack and two textbooks in hand, he smiled brightly at everyone, "Yokatta. Too bad I won't be home tonight to sample Ken-kun's dinner, I'm going over to a friends to cram for a big test tomorrow. So I probably won't be back till late, or if it's too late, I might sleep over."

"Yeah, me too. Got a hot date."

"Mou Youji-kun, when do you ever not have a date? None of us will be home to try Ken-kun's food. Sorry Ken-kun, I'd really like to try some I can't though, I promised my friend I'd be there about now. Oh wait, Aya-kun you're going to be home right? So Ken-kun's food won't go to waste, you are going to eat it aren't you Aya-kun? Ne? Ne?" Wow, could Omi act or what? He was even using his adorable puppy dog eyes. Ken absently wondered how many times he'd been on the sucker end to the boy's act without even knowing it. Ken brushed it off, he was the one benefiting the most from this so it's not like he's going to complain.

"Aa, I will."

"Sugoi! Be sure to eat lots for me too! Enjoy yourselves, I'll be off now or I'll be late."

"I'll give you a ride Chibi, got some time to kill before I pick up my date." Youji casually said as he rose from his sprawled out position on the sofa also impressed by the convincing performance and already scheming on how to use it to rile Ken.

After Youji and Omi left, Ken finished up with dinner and the two dined silently. He was already content when the redhead agreed to try food prepared by him, he nervously glanced at Aya every so often to check for signs of dislike, at least he wasn't frowning or spitting anything out. He hadn't expected the small praise from him, "You've improved." Aya rarely ever praised anyone, which was all the more reason for Ken to wear a bright smile. The silly grin permanently stayed on him even after washing the dishes and even after they split up to engage in each of their own after dinner routines.

When Ken returned from his walk, calm and relaxed from the refreshingly cool air and quiet night, he found the redhead sitting in the single armchair reading with the room bathed in the gentle glow of the lamp. As always, the image of Aya absorbed in reading brought a feeling of warmth to Ken's heart. He was genuinely glad Aya could do something he loved so much, to take the time to enjoy a simple everyday thing such as reading. Aya deserved to a bit of normalcy, a bit of happiness. He was sure the outwardly cold exterior hid a different person underneath, someone kind, and tender, someone who he'd do anything to meet and with every ounce of strength and determination, love and protect. Seeing Aya raise his head to regard him, Ken smiled in return.

"Tadaima." He said softly. Removing his jacket and toeing off his runners, the brunette stepped towards the living room until he was standing behind the armchair. "What are you reading Aya?" Receiving nothing in reply, Ken shifted closer and peered over the redhead's shoulder, he studied the words and quietly read aloud,

"One can never carry on researches into the source and the possibility of the "idea" of Being in general simply by means of the "abstractions" of formal logic -- that is, without any secure horizon for question and answer. One must seek a way of casting light on the fundamental question of ontology, and this is the way to go. Whether this is the only way or even the right one at all, can be decided only after one has gone along it. [1]

Hey, Aya, are you reading that Heidegger guy's book again, man how many times have you read that thing already?"

Aya was able to ignore Ken's hushed words and not break from his studying with effort, but hearing Ken able to name the author of the book so easily managed to divert his attention. He never expected the brunette to be the type to who would be interested in anything non-sports related let alone a difficult, mentally challenging piece such as the one currently in his hands. The author's name was nowhere to be found on the page either. Aya looked up over his shoulder fixing his gaze on the brunette and asked frankly, "Have you read this before?"

"Eh? Umm, yeah, you could say that." Ken raised a hand to rub at the back of his neck sheepishly. He was speaking the truth, he had read the book, three times to be exact, yet did he grasp all that deep philosophical whatnot? That may be subjective. Ken first picked up the book after noticing Aya reading it time and time again. His intentions were to develop a further understanding of the stoic man's interests and hobbies by engaging in similar activities, however, he soon discovered plunging head first into a subject to which he had little to no background knowledge in was as frustrating as hell. At first Ken thought reading it the second time would provide more insight, it didn't, so he tried a third time anyways, to no avail. He could recognize passages and theories, but he'd be damned if Aya wanted to converse philosophical shit. "I didn't really understand much of it though." He hastily added, better to admit it now then to be found out later.

"Sou."

"Ne Aya, why don't you ever go out, you know, to have fun n stuff. It can be a good stress relief being with other people. Don't you want someone to talk to sometimes?" When Ken received nothing but silence, he sighed. The redhead was never the talkative type, maybe he should have bluffed about his perception of the book so they could have some sort of conversation. While the man currently seated may enjoy or pretend to enjoy his solitude, Ken preferred being around people, especially if said people included the man in front of him. Ken leaned in a bit further content with being close to his love then something hard poked the side of his hip, he looked down and remembered Youji planted something in his pocket earlier. He scowled as he seized the object wondering what it could possibly be. A bottle? Ken turned the small bottle in his hand to read the label and gasped as he identified the mysterious object. L-lubricant? What the fuck was Youji thinking?! Oh yes, fuck, that *was* what he was thinking.

Brought forth from his reading by Ken's sudden gasp, Aya quickly surveyed their settings for any possible threats. Annoyed at finding none, he turned around to glare at the brunette. Ken shoved the offending bottle behind his back but not before Aya took notice of it. The redhead set the novel down and fluidly rose from his seat, without pausing, he moved towards the shorter man until he was threatening to invade his personal space. Aya seemed to tower over him as the slight advantage in height obstructed the faint light from the table lamp confining Ken in his shadow. He gazed straight into wide brown orbs where he could clearly read surprise laced with a hint of fear.

"It's not-"

"Are you trying to seduce me Ken?"

"…!!" Caught completely off guard from the words uttered from those lips, Ken just stood there dumbfounded and continued to stare up into Aya's piercing eyes. Finally realizing an answer was expected of him, he shied his eyes away and blurted out incoherent and fragmented sentences. "No… in a way… no, no it's not, this isn't, it's not mine… I wanted, closer, not…" Without even noticing it, Ken was slowly backed into the wall as he spoke, he only realized his current predicament when his shoulders connected to the wall and found himself boxed in by two strong arms on either side of his head.

"Well, are you?"

Aya was so close Ken could feel his body heat and make out his calm breathing that was in stark contrast to his own. He could feel his heart thumping wildly in his chest and hear it echoing loudly in his ears, his breathing was heavy and irregular as beads of sweat began to appear on his brow. Ken had no idea what was going on and was confused beyond words, the only thing he could do was manage a small nod to his absolute embarrassment. He didn't see Aya diminish what little space between them for his eyes was tightly clenched then he threw them wide open when he felt cool soft lips brush against his own. Aya's lips were gentle at first and then suddenly turned more aggressive and persistent. The brunette gasped at the realization and Aya took advantage of the opportunity to plunge deep into that undoubtedly sweet mouth. His tongue roamed the unfamiliar territory, stroking and tasting the exquisite flavour that could only be described as Ken.

Through the confusion and haze of lust, Ken stopped questioning what was going on. Maybe he was dreaming or perhaps he stepped into a twilight zone during his walk, either way he didn't care anymore, Aya was kissing him. He thought he'd never get the chance to kiss the fiery creature currently devouring him and was not about to throw away this good fortune, real or not.

Feeling the brunette respond to his demands, Aya deepened the kiss if possible. He slid a hand behind Ken's head and another splayed across his back to affirm his dominance. When the brunette moaned into his mouth from the gesture, he decided that was his confirmation and pressed their bodies together, grinding his arousal against equally hard flesh. Ken sucked in a quick intake of air and to his dismay broke away from the feverish kissing. He felt his entire body go weak and if not for Aya's muscular body holding onto him, he would have fallen lifelessly to the floor. Another insistent grind and Ken had to cling onto Aya for dear life as he groaned none too quietly. The redhead inwardly smirked at Ken's reaction, revelling in the power he held over the flushed form, he tightened his grip and started to suckle the exposed skin under his jaw. Aya felt Ken's breath hitch in his throat and decided to shift his attack downward, eager for the awaiting pleasure.

Just as his hands started to tug at bothersome clothing, a loud ring from the phone interrupted the hot session. Aya was tempted to ignore it, except that the call could be important. Duty always came first. The two broke apart and harsh panting filled the room, another unrelenting ring and Aya stepped further back and reached for the loud device. He surprised himself with the amount of effort it took to tear away from that body.

Without his life support, Ken slid bonelessly against the wall until the carpeted floor decided to support his ass. He found it difficult to restore his normal breathing patterns after what had just happened, Aya kissed him! It must have been real because only in reality would such detestable things as a phone call interpose on a once in a life time opportunity.

"Hai. Hai. No, only Siberian and I are present. Understood." The clipped conversation Ken managed to pick up quickly ended, but hearing the codename, he knew whom the call was from. It served to clear his fogged mind a bit and he managed to stand on his own. "Mission. Get your gear and be in the mission room in ten minutes." With that Aya turned to leave. Ken stood confounded as he watched the retreating back of his leader. That was it? No explanation about what happened? Nothing. To the redhead, it didn't even seem like anything happened at all. Rage suddenly seeped into Ken and he couldn't stop himself before he cried out,

"Aya! What the hell was that then?!"

Aya paused with his back still facing Ken. "We have a mission. That can be discussed at a more appropriate time." The tone of his voice left no room for argument.

-----

"This man is Carl Souma." Manx said as she pointed to the photograph of a burly man in his late twenties. "I don't have the time to give you the details of his crimes because according to our sources, he will be leaving Japan by midnight."

"Midnight? Today midnight? We have less than two hours then."

"That is correct Siberian." Then her voice turned uncharacteristically cold and solemn as she added, "This mission was still undergoing final investigations and there was a leak of information… It has been taken care of. Now Souma knows he's being targeted and is trying to flee the country. If he gets out, it will be much more difficult to hunt him down."

"So it's just search and destroy."

"Hai. Since he's trying to leave secretly, the security should be light. It's unfortunate Balinese and Bombay are not here, it might be a bit more work for you two."

"Understood." The two assassins answered in unison.

-----

True to Manx's word, the mission was not too complicated. The highlight of the night was the wild chase towards the small private plane. Souma was already prepared to board by the time Abyssinian and Siberian arrived and since there was nothing to use as cover, they practically charged headfirst towards the target and his entourage. They were at a disadvantage with their short ranged weapons and that allowed Souma to retreat into the cabin while they had to pave a path through bodies. Siberian was able to barge into the plane before it was sealed off and he deftly finished off Souma on the spot. As he proceeded to take care of the pilots, the plane suddenly began to slowly move and in a fit of distress, he was caught off guard and the pilots managed to slash him in the back right before they themselves were gutted.

-----

"I'll write up the mission report. Do you need help with your wounds?"

The gash on his back wasn't life threatening, but it still hurt like a bitch. He wasn't about to whine and make the redhead kiss it all better… no matter how tempting it seemed. Besides, this mission report was important considering the special circumstances, he would just have to endure patching himself up. "I can handle it."

Ken was sitting topless on his bead donning a pair of loose sweats grunting as he tried to tend to the open wound. Showering had been a pleasant experience, even with the absence of soap his back stung like mad and now Ken was reminded of certain bodily restrictions, mainly the fact that he couldn't reach the god damn cut. The soccer player stopped his struggling when he met an amused looking Aya standing outside the open door. He cursed himself for not closing it properly, stupid clothes, towel and first aid kit just had to fill his hands!

"What?!" Ken almost shouted.

"Nothing." Came the indifferent reply. Watching Aya continue to walk by, Ken struggled with his feelings. He could call the redhead back, admit he couldn't handle it and have his wounds patched up, or he could sit here and suffer with his pride. Ken was leaning towards suffering, it's not like he'd die of bleeding from a little knick like this… probably, then again, he didn't want to die yet.

"Aya!" The brunette waited until Aya was once again within view, but the man just stood outside the door. He gritted his teeth and was practically seething. "Can you… help me here, p-l-e-a-s-e?"

Ken swore the redhead was looking smug, he just had to develop a sick sense of humour now of all times. Ken pouted and crossed his arms across his chest, he turned and gave the redhead his back, he knew he was acting childish, too bad. He sighed when cool medication soothed and numbed his torn flesh, it wasn't so bad, at least he wouldn't be spilling the gel all over his covers. Then all coherent thoughts flew out the window as soon as Aya's fingers touched his skin and Ken was reminded of the sudden flare of passion earlier. Gauze was expertly wrapped around his well-built torso and Ken found it increasingly difficult to breathe despite the comfortable pressure from the cotton. Should he bring up what happened? How can a person abruptly transform from their cold uncaring exterior so quickly? He needed an answer.

"Umm… earlier, what… why did you do that?"

"Wasn't that what you wanted?" The brunette twisted his body around to look confusedly at Aya. Yes, in a way, that was what he wanted, maybe on other terms, what he really wanted was to know why did Aya suddenly decided Ken was worth his time? They were dangerously close as moments trekked by, he found himself drowning in pools of dark amethyst completely unaware of the harbouring lust.

Not to be kept waiting any longer, the older man pulled Ken into a forceful kiss, demanding access into that confection-laced mouth. The kiss was hot and commanding, but something was missing in the intense union, it lacked a sense of feeling. They broke apart when the need to breathe arouse and Ken found his head spinning from the combination of blood loss, oxygen denial and the fact that Aya's tongue invaded his mouth, again. He felt light headed and barely noticed being stripped of his remaining clothes until an alarming grope burned his sensitive flesh. He was mildly aware of the overwhelming pleasure strong, callused hands inflicted, but too soon, they removed themselves from his quivering form. When Ken found himself facing the white cottony sheets of his covers, he felt an uncomfortable invasion probing him just before a searing pain coursed it's way through his entire body. He screamed out in agony from the intense pain, never before did any injury compare to the severity of feeling his bones shift and insides practically tearing themselves apart. Before, the welcoming embrace of black unconsciousness enveloped his stricken mind, Ken recalled himself thinking `No, it's not.'

-----

The room was submersed in darkness save for what little dim moonlight scattered it's way in through the open window. A weak breeze crept its way into the shadows and caused frail wisps of fabric to sway under its manipulation. Hidden in the listless space, a lone figure could be seen settled atop crisp bed sheets staring into nowhere in particular. His pale limbs lay lifeless to his side as he silently brood. Sex was not foreign to him, much to the incredulity to those around him. He was a man and his body possessed certain desires. On the rare occasion when the sexual tension grew too great, he had engaged in casual sex. To him, the act of sex wasn't for pleasure itself, only a compulsory act to indulge in intermittently in order to relieve tension and once again regain full control of his senses. But he was anything but calm and in control presently. What did this mean? He closed his eyes tightly and frowned, what did this mean? Ken was an ideal partner; he posed no possible harm as would a stranger, he would always be readily available, he most probably had the same need himself, he was attractive. He was perfect. So why could he not purge or identify this nameless sensation from within? Frustrated at not being able to solve the puzzle, the silent man tried to push all thoughts away for the moment, sleep was a necessity.

-----

A timid knock awoke the sleeping redhead. His eyes drifted over to the alarm clock; 6:12. Aya suppressed the urge to groan at being wakened just as he managed to drift off into sleep. He sat up and raked a hand through his sleep-mussed hair and patiently called out to the person on the other side of his wooden door, "What is it?"

"Aya…" Ken voice was small and slightly muffled through the door. "Omi called me to wake you up, Manx is here for a follow up mission of… last night." The door opened and he found the brunette standing in the hall with his head down, he walked out of his room, past the confused figure. A usually strong hand gripped his arm in a fragile hold. "Aya… last night-"

"Forget about it."

Wide brown eyes looked into his and for once, the stoic man found himself unable to withstand the intensity of another's gaze. He hastily turned around and shook off the trembling hand. How could he explain what he couldn't understand? Things were beyond his comprehension between the brunette and himself and he chose to deny their existence.

----

[1] Excerpt from "Being and Time" (pg 487) by Martin Heidegger

Anyone notice Side B familiarities??

Umm, yeah, this is getting kind of angsty… sorry, it'll get better

ANYWAYS, on a lighter note, please take a look at my "fuckably sexy Ken" pic at

http://www.mediaminer.org/user_info.php/82792

or

http://members.shaw.ca/toniq/Weiss/Ken%20%2b%20apron6.jpg

toniq XD