Weiss Kreuz Fan Fiction ❯ Mission: Midwest ❯ Chapter 6

 

Crawford pulled the Mercedes into the garage, shaking his head at the cluster of vehicles around the house. He sighed heavily, knowing that when he walked in the likelihood of being accosted by several bored housewives was extremely high. He would be so glad when this whole damn thing was over in a few weeks and they could all go back to normal behavior. Well, as normal as his team managed to get at any rate. He knew that he'd certainly be thrilled to get away from the reminder of his roots and back to being the first class bastard he naturally was. The whole playing the happy family crap was beginning to get on his last nerve. He had to admit he never dreamed that Schuldig could pull off playing a housewife nearly as well as he had. He just wasn't sure he was thrilled with the constant gatherings of females at his current domicile.

 

He wondered what the gathering of the day was centered around. Last time it had been some sort of odd kitchen storage system, the time before that had been sex toys of all the weird things in the universe, (Schuldig had bought five hundred dollars in merchandise) the time before that . . . he couldn't really recall because he didn't care.

 

Before he got to the door leading from the garage into the house, he heard music. Nothing unusual considering either Schuldig was always playing the latest Alternative station or Nagi had J-pop or Disturbed cranked to levels designed to make anyone over the age of twenty five bleed out the ears. But this was different. He hadn't heard that kind of music since they'd been in Istanbul for three months on assignment.

 

“If Schuldig has them smoking hooka pipes in the living room I'm going to shoot him on sight and consequences be damned,” he growled under his breath.

 

He opened the door and walked into the kitchen then from there into the living room. He leaned in the doorway to the living room watching the latest debacle. All of the furniture had been pushed to the wall, leaving a large space clear in the center of the room where at least six of the housewives plus Schuldig were lined up while an older woman was instructing them on dance moves. He shook his head a little and sighed. Well, one of two things was bound to occur from this one, he thought. Either the husbands of the women in the living room would be extremely happy or the wives would be extremely annoyed because they hadn't noticed the new moves.

 

Crawford's eyes strayed to the only person he was remotely interested in. His lips twitched a little. Schuldig was the only person in the room who actually seemed to be getting the instructions correctly. Though he had to wonder where he'd managed to lay his hands on a full belly dance costume.

 

The instructor looked up at that moment and smiled a little at him. The look seemed to say, “Busted.” She turned to the CD player and shut it off. “It seems we have company, ladies.”

 

Heads turned and there was a collective female squeal that went up from the group as everyone but Schuldig and the instructor dived for some sort of cover in robes or other clothes. Schuldig crossed the room to him, smiling seductively as the closed the distance between them. He put his arms around Crawford's neck and winked at him.

 

“Awww. You caught me, Brad. I was going to surprise you,” Schuldig said, sliding the rest of his body against Crawford's taller form.

 

“Well, you're full of surprises. I'm also quite certain that you'll put what you've learned today to good use.”

 

“Why are you home so early?”

 

“A transformer blew and it took out the power for the entire block. There was no sense in staying at the office when there wasn't any electricity.”

 

Several of the women started frantically pulling on clothes. “That means my husband will probably be home early too,” seemed to be the general consensus.

 

“Okay, ladies,” the instructor said over the sudden din. “Same time on Thursday.”

 

There were nods of acknowledgement as the women hurriedly said goodbye to Schuldig and made their way out of the house. The instructor just smiled knowingly as she left, waving to them over her shoulder as she went out the door.

 

“Where's Farf?” Crawford asked, sliding his hands from Schuldig's waist to his ass.

 

“Still at daycare.”

 

“Nagi?”

 

“Detention.”

 

“I'll ask later.”

 

***

 

They were finally released from detention and Nagi made his way out the doors with Chastity Crane right next to him. She was checking through the numbers on her cell phone and holding a telepathic conversation with him as they walked.

 

She punched one of the numbers and held the phone to her ear. “Hey, Mom. Yeah, I'm out. I'm going over to a friend's house to do homework.” She sighed heavily and looked at Nagi then rolled her eyes. “No. Not Brittany's. Nick Black, the new neighbor's oldest son. You've met him. Uh-huh. Uh-huh. Yeah, Mom. Uh-huh. Yeah. Okay. Bye!” She hung up the phone. “Christ on toast! That woman is the most irritating creature on the planet.”

 

“You haven't met the most irritating creature on the planet yet,” Nagi said.

 

She laughed. “Are you sure it's okay to come over? I have no interest in being shot, thank you very much.”

 

“Don't worry about it,” he said. He vaguely wondered why he'd told her so much. Crawford was bound to be thoroughly pissed off about it. But it was nice to have someone his own age who understood what it felt like to be such a freak.

 

They walked the three blocks to the house and Nagi let himself in, not bothering to call for anyone as he was fairly certain Crawford was still at work, Farf at daycare or whatever and Schuldig off doing gods only knew what.

 

“Soda?” he asked.

 

“Sure,” she said, following him toward the kitchen.

 

He stopped so abruptly that she almost ran into him. She pulled out her cell phone, started the digital recorder and focused it on the redhead bent over the kitchen counter obviously being screwed brainless by the dark haired man behind them.

 

Schuldig must have sensed a presence because he looked up and smiled evilly at Nagi, who grabbed Chastity's wrist and dragged her away from the scene of debauchery.

 

“Damn it,” she protested as she was yanked roughly out the door. “Why'd you do that? That was hot.”

 

“Gag!”

 

“Come on. I can offer you a minor sanctuary,” she said as they crossed the road to her house. “Hey, Mom! I'm home early.”

 

“I thought you were studying over at Nick's. Hello, Nick,” Mary Crane said.

 

“We were but his parents are indisposed at the moment,” she said, grinning while Nagi turned a deep cherry red.

 

“Oh dear. They aren't fighting, are they?”

 

“Worse. They're fucking,” Chastity said with a shrug.

 

“Chastity Ann Crane, watch your language.”

 

“Whatever. C'mon,” she said, dragging Nagi up the stairs and leaving her mother staring after them.