Weiss Kreuz Fan Fiction ❯ No Touchy! ❯ Stolen Merchandise ( Chapter 4 )

 

 

 

 

Nagi looked up from his bowl of noodles when Crawford came seething into the kitchen. He sighed. Why did adults always need to have everything explained to them? He wondered.

 

“You know he only does it because he thinks he can't have you,” Nagi said.

 

“Who only does what?” Crawford asked distractedly.

 

Nagi sighed again. “You know very well whom and what,” he said, shaking his head. “The innuendos, the dancing around the living room in a g-string, ick, stealing your ties. He has quite a collection by now I'd imagine.”

 

Crawford stared blankly at the youngest member of his team. “Why does he have a collection of my ties?” So that's where they all went, he thought.

 

Nagi shrugged. “I suppose if I were to analyze it, I'd say that they're the closest manifestation of who you are as a person. Symbolic in their own way. When Schuldig sees ties he thinks of you. Simple as that.”

 

“How do you know all of this, Nagi?”

 

Nagi chewed thoughtfully on his noodles for a moment or so before answering. “It's Schuldig. You know he only wants what he thinks he can't have. Since, considering his abilities, something he can't manage to procure is a rarity you became his main focus.”

 

“What made him think he couldn't have me?”

 

Nagi looked up at him and shook his head in mild disbelief. “I wonder,” he said sarcastically. “Probably because he can't get past your shields, you plan everything down to the last detail, and for the most part you seem to be an asexual being.”

 

Crawford frowned. “I am not asexual.”

 

“To his mind you are. Honestly, Crawford, when has Schuldig or any of us really, seen you bring someone home? Seen you go out on a date? Do something other than work? Do anything that doesn't suggest you don't live in your mother's basement and have never known another person's touch?”

 

“I have never lived in my mother's basement,” Crawford said indignantly.

 

“The attic, then,” Nagi said.

 

Crawford clamped his mouth shut. “Nagi, what is the point of this discussion?” he said through clenched teeth.

 

“Do you really want him to leave you alone?”

 

“Yes!” Crawford said. Though he wasn't actually sure that he wanted Schuldig to leave him alone completely. But just leave him alone long enough for him to get something done without the constant distraction.

 

Nagi rolled his eyes again. “The point is that if you behave as though you're interested, he'll probably leave you alone. Because, in Schuldig's tiny little brain, it will register that he might be able to have you and that will scare the shit out of him.”

 

“Reeaaally,” Crawford said, a sly smile forming on his lips. Nagi shuddered a little and started to actually fear for Schuldig's well being. He knew that look on Crawford's face all too well. “Thank you, Nagi. And shouldn't you be in bed by now?”

 

“Yes, Dad,” Nagi said, turning back to his noodles and proceeding to ignore Crawford.

 

Crawford turned and made his way out of the kitchen. His smile widened with each step he took toward a certain telepath's room. He heard Schuldig long before he even got close to his room. Nudging the door open with his shoulder he stood and took in the scene before him. It appeared that Nagi had been correct in judging where his ties had gone. They hung in various places all over the room. He shook his head at the absolute absurdity of it for a moment before focusing on the figure currently sprawled on the bed thoroughly enjoying the tie he had pilfered earlier.

 

“Schuldig!”

 

The telepath shot almost to a sitting position with an odd squeak. “Crawford! You scared the shit out of me.”

 

“Then there wouldn't be much left of you, would there.”

 

Schuldig stuck his tongue out at him before adopting a sly look. “Come to get your tie back?”

 

“Don't stick your tongue out at me unless you intend to use it in a productive way. Actually,” Crawford said, grabbing the two ties hanging from the lamp nearest him. “I've come to put stolen merchandise to good use.”