Weiss Kreuz Fan Fiction ❯ Other Side Of The Moon ❯ Other Side Of The Moon ( One-Shot )

Other Side Of The Moon

I stare up at the moon-less sky and feel a tear run down my cheek. It feels warm at first but by the time it trails down my cheek, it is cold, all the warmth was gone from it and into the night. I bowed my head and clenched my eyelids shut tightly, so the rest of the tears would not follow. The tear slides down my chin and falls down to the picture I hold in my hands.
Violet eyes looked off to the side as the wind played with fiery red hair lovingly. I looked down and felt a wary smile tug at my lips. I could still see how the violet orbs shine, in the moonless night. I looked at their gaze to the other end of the photo, where a blue haired beauty danced in the cherry petal rain.

~*~*~*~*~
I can see you stand there
Despite the lack of the moon,
~*~*~*~*~

Another face drifted up into my thoughts, of blank emotionless eyes and stony expression. I choke back the sob that rises up into my throat, begging to be released. I swallow it and gasp afterwards, feeling like I swallowed the worst kind of bile. I look down at the picture, but it is no longer the loving eyes I see, but the blank loveless stony face imposed upon what I want to see, and I slide down the trunk of the tree, falling.

~*~*~*~*~
I can see your face, dear,
That loveless expression remains there
~*~*~*~*~

I pass the shop on my way to school everyday since I came here, and every time I will look through the glass of the window to see your face. You're standing amidst the crowd of girls again, angry, yet not, mostly annoyed at your time being wasted. The girls shout and chatter excitedly to you and yet you tell them to buy their flowers or leave, remaining impassive to what other comments they make.
Like a stone, or a plastic rose: beautiful, unreal, and not really there.

~*~*~*~*~
Stunning like a white rose,
But one that's carved out of stone
~*~*~*~*~

I walk past the shop again and this time I stop still out front. I suppose the reason is that I got out early and that is why I see no crowd in the shop or the other workers but you, behind the counter, clipping roses. I take a deep breath and gather what courage I have and step into the shop, the bells twinkling above me. You barely spare me a glance as you go back to tending the roses.
I step up to the counter and wait, my head bowed. You make no acknowledgement of my presence and I feel my heart hammering against my breast in a frantic beat. I open my lips several times to speak, but always closing them to swallow the heart that seems to rise up to proclaim itself to you. I berate myself for being a coward as I stand there wasting as much of your time the girls do after school every day. I see your hands gathering up the roses and putting them aside, then settle in the middle of the counter and I look up to see you waiting for what I have to say, silent as always you are. And clueless that you hold my heart in your hands and ignorance dismisses the love in my eyes as the teenage crushes you see everyday.

~*~*~*~*~
You won't say a thing, love
Though I swear I'd give you my heart, and
~*~*~*~*~

I feel my lips twist into a wary smile as the light in my eyes dim, resigned. You will never return my feelings and I know it but hope is something that I could never seem let myself to give up. Even if it is an empty one. I see you watching me impassive as I feel my face go from shy and nervous to resigned, defeated and then wary. I shake my head as what I am doing finally sinks into my brain and I tell myself not to be foolish.
I open my lips and this time, words come. " A rose. A single white rose."
I look up to you and I can see you're surprise at the sad acceptance in my eyes. I know you wonder what had killed the silly happiness of innocence there just a moment ago, which is now replaced with aura of someone that has seen what life really has to offer them, but I see you dismiss it as none of your business. I pay for my flower and as I hand you the money, my skin bush against yours and I bite my lip to keep myself from crying out. In half desperation and half madness, I am sure.
I turn quickly and speed-walks out, just as the afternoon crowd streams in. I stop outside the window once more and looks down at the flower in my hands, all nice and wrapped beautifully. I look into the shop to see you moving from place to place to fulfill orders and I know you'll be in my dreams tonight in the black outfit you favor when you are out on missions.
And I let myself brave a smile, knowing out of all those girls, you will only be wearing that for me, alone. Me, the only one that knows, they can't take that away form me.
I look back ahead and walk towards my home, not at all feeling your gaze as you follow my back, wondering what had made me smile that one last time with happiness slowly seeping back into those orbs of mine.

~*~*~*~*~
All that I request is you'll be in my dreams, dear
Wear that dress for me and for me alone.
~*~*~*~*~

I unlock the door and enter the apartment that is mine for however long I continue to pay my rent. I take off my shoes and place them on the rack at the same time slipping my feet into the white slippers of mine. And as I walk into my living room, slowly unwrapping the flower, I think of what has made you so cold. I slip the white rose in with the vase containing the plastic flowers and it does not look out of place at all. It looked just as beautiful, just as lovely, and just as untouchable.
I walk over to the TV and slip a tape into the VCR while on my knees.
Your laughter comes through the speakers and I watched mere meters in front of the television mesmerized. And slowly as I watch the younger you, the happy laughing youth in front of me on the screen, a tear comes. Followed by many others, none of which I try to stop. Neither do I swallow the choking sobs that rip through my throat and I am there kneeling, crying freely as your laughter blares though my senses and your joyful face is all that I see.

~*~*~*~*~
When I must awake, I can still see you stand there,
Laughing at my pain as I fall back down.
~*~*~*~*~

You look so free and happy, and I cannot stop the hand that reaches out to touch your cheek, but to feel nothing but glass. And you're there right in front of me, your eyes sparkling out at me and I bend in to kiss the lips, brushing lips against the barrier keeping us apart.

I move back to see you putting on a single dangling earring and the stony face that I see you have on everyday is there now as well. The last of the carefree fun loving boy I saw is gone, now there is a cold foreboding man in his place, cold with fury for revenge, cold and dark like the night in the moonless sky. And the warm lips I yearn for are now just as cold and dark.

~*~*~*~*~
Though I long for your kiss,
Cold as the dark of the moon,
~*~*~*~*~

I come to the store daily now, hoping for a glance of you, like all the other girls. And I sense that somehow, by doing this, I have lost my individuality to you, no matter how little there was of it in the beginning. Now I am jus another nameless face in the crowd that you'd rather not see everyday.
Day after day I come, and day after day I see the cold brooding face that I yearn so much to touch and yet have no right to do so. I see you gaze a me for a second as if I might actually be more them nameless as if I might be someone you would remember, but then your gaze sweeps over everyone else and I am forgotten.
And this happens day after day, and everyday, you forget me. And everyday, my heart is broken.

~*~*~*~*~
You would still prefer, dear,
To break my heart over & over
~*~*~*~*~

I have come back to window gazing, as I have realized that I am no closer to touching you out here then I am in there with the rest of the girls crowding you. How I wish I could, but I know that I cannot. I might touch your hand, your skin, but that it not what I want. I want to touch the deepest part of you, the part where it is in torment and I wish to heal. I turn now and walk back to the apartment I rent.
I have not noticed how you and your workers have noticed me, the girl that looks in but never come sin anymore. The one with dead resigned eyes, ones that all four of you have only seen in each other's orbs on a mission or in moments of weakness. And you all realize that I only have those eyes in those moments, when you see me there, and you all realize in one level or another, that is my weakness.
I do not realize you have realized and so like every night now, I put the tape into the VCR and hear your laughter, see your smile and stare at your joyful lips. And like every night I kneel there gasping and crying out in torment.

~*~*~*~*~
How I wish that I could touch those long and silky locks
But instead, you stand there
Still laughing as I gasp in pain, and
~*~*~*~*~

I can feel you holding me, and warmth is coursed through my veins. Happiness sings to me and joy has wrapped her arms around me. I open my eyes eager to see your face, but to only look up to a gray fuzzy screen, telling me the tape is over. I look over to the clock and see it tell me it is the middle of the night, and I have once again fallen asleep in front of the television, dreaming of an empty hope.

~*~*~*~*~
Why must I awake, though this night is tormenting?
Only to forget 'til another dream
~*~*~*~*~

Tears once again run down my cheeks and I am amazed that I have any left, and a smile tugs at my lips. I giggle, and then laugh and then I am blown into hysterics, there, laughing like a hyena on my apartment floor. But soon they turn to sobs and there is nothing left to be happy about.
I hear a soft clatter on my balcony window and look up to see a figure beyond the doors. It is draped in darkness and it seems to have something think and long attached to the belt of his long coat. I know this silhouette, I know this shadow!
I run out pushing the doors open forcefully, only to find nothing. And I fall to me knees, tears have escaped me and so has my voice. I whisper a hoarse,
" No…"
The gods are merciful, as rain falls upon my cheeks, making up for the loss of my tears. The nights have caught up with me and I am slack without energy. I waver in the place I am and blackness starts to consume my vision. And I fall, but is that him standing in front of me? I must stay awake to…see…him…

~*~*~*~*~
As my tears rain down, am I truly lamenting?
I can't even tell if you're all you seem
~*~*~*~*~

I awake to sunshine shining into my eyes and I blink trying to get the redness out of my view. I sit up to see the flowers on the balcony sill blooming in adversity and birds chirping in the air. Water droplets sparkle only on the flowers, as the balcony floor is dry, telling me the shower last night had been light and short.
But I blink in confusion as I feel a cloth on me, a blanket almost. I look down and my eyes widen at what covers me. A long black coat with the fragrance of roses wafting up from the very last thread that it was made of.
I clutch at it my eye wide and pupils dilated, staring in a frozen amazement of horror. I shake but my tears are no more and I hold the coat close to my chest, my heart and silently rock there.

~*~*~*~*~
All that I request is you'll be in my dreams, dear
Wear that dress for me and for me alone.
~*~*~*~*~

I walk into my apartment on wobbly legs; I make it to the television before I crumble to the ground. Coat held tightly against me and I hear laughter from the screen above me. I look to see your smiling face, but I am numb with shock and I do not know what to do now. I just stare up into your face, those laughing eyes, joyful face, and warm lips.

~*~*~*~*~
When I must awake, I can still see you stand there,
Laughing at my pain as I fall back down.
~*~*~*~*~

I watch you run and call to the woman running after you, racing through the festival grounds, laughing and encasing everything in your warm laughter. I watch you and slowly brush my cheek against the soft material of the coat you left with me. I slowly, almost frighteningly so, I put the coat one and closed my eyes as its warmth, your warmth encases me. And there I lay, sleeping and dreaming of you.

~*~*~*~*~
Why must I awake, though this night is tormenting?
Only to forget 'til another dream
~*~*~*~*~

Himiko: and that's it. It's my first Wk fic and first songfic, so please go easy on me! Does anyone actaully want another chapter? review please!!