Paradise

Disclaimer: Weiß Kreuz belongs to Koyasu Takehito

Pairing: Schuldig x Ken/Ken x Schu (pick one)

WARNING: This story is rated NC-17. You have been warned. Also this is a deathfic and there is some OOC-ness on Schuldig's behalf. If it's not your cup of joe, well, that's what the back button is there for.

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I knew about this for months but this was the first time I was going there. I hate hospitals. Too much sadness surrounds them. I sometimes end up hearing thoughts about people losing loved ones or having to face their death. Much as I hate to admit it, it's painful. But these thoughts are at their worst when they come from the one you love.

That's what was happening to me. My lover came down with a sudden illness one day. No one knew how or why but it happened. He (yes, he. I'm in love with a man) just collapsed on the ground and started coughing up blood. His friends didn't know what to do. When they took him to a doctor, the terrible truth came out. He had to be put in a hospital and has been there ever since. They ran tests and whatnot but to no avail. So he's still there and he's losing the fight.

Now I shouldn't care. After all, it's a lover. I could always get another one, right? But I can't do that. Maybe in the past I would have been able to do such a thing but not now. I didn't know too much about this disease except that it wasn't tuberculosis or cancer. It came from somewhere and people had been catching it. Every victim of this disease died. For that reason alone, I'm getting more scared. Odd, huh? Nasty, old Schuldig is worrying about someone. More specifically, he's worrying about Ken from Weiß. That's right, Ken is my lover. He's been my lover for a very long time. Why I fell for him I can't say. I guess I saw and felt something that wasn't there before. We got together one night and everything clicked. Then everyone else found out and, surprisingly enough, was okay with it. But that didn't mean things were okay, no. Though both Schwarz and Weiß know about our relationship, our teammates are still enemies. We have to do everything with caution. We saw each other whenever we had free time and when the others were out of the way. Then he fell ill and now I was ready to fall apart.

Finally, I couldn't take it anymore. I had to see him. But first, I had to tell Crawford where I was going. Out of all the Schwarz members, he's the one who first found about Ken and me. Plus he is also our unofficial leader. He was relaxing his room, which is right next to mine, when I stepped in.

"Crawford?"

He looked up. When I call him 'Crawford', he knows I mean business. "I'm going to see him. I have to."

He was silent for a while before nodding. I nodded back, scooped my car keys off the counter, and started to head out the door.

"Don't keep your hopes too high up." Crawford warned before I left. "There is no cure for this disease. Even if he lives, he won't be the same person."

"I don't care!" I snapped. And I didn't. Even though Ken would probably never be able to do half the things he did in the past, he'd still be with me. That's all that mattered to me.

"I'm only telling you the truth." Crawford shrugged. "But go and visit him. I know you want to."

I nodded my thanks and headed out the door. Nagi also watched as I sprinted to where my car was parked. He didn't say a thing but he knew how I felt. Farfarello was nowhere in sight so I don't know what he would think of me running out like this. Actually, I don't think he'd care much. Oh well.

I got to the hospital in fifteen minutes flat.

"Ken?" I whispered, knocking on the door first. Then I stepped in to see my lover lying on that bed, pale like talcum powder. His brown eyes had lost the glow the once had in them. I hated the way he looked like a living corpse. Damn diseases! Why did they have to strike innocent people like Ken? Of course, he wasn't completely innocent. He killed people. Still…

"Schuldig? Is that you?" A voice pierced through the darkness. I realized he was awake.

"Yes, baby, it's me." I nodded and sat down next to him. Running my hands through his hair, I wanted to fall apart. God, this was what my lover was reduced to?

"You know you're not supposed to be here." He muttered. The way he was pouting made him look like a pissed off kitten.

"Well, I'm not going to spend Valentine's Day alone, baby." I said. And I meant it. My boyfriend was dying and I was going to spend this important night by myself. Hell no. While he's still alive, we might as well spend Valentine's Day together.

Of course, Ken may not die. He's a guy who can fight when the odds are against him. Just cause everyone was saying he didn't have long to live didn't mean he would lose this battle. No, he wouldn't. I normally don't care about miracles but Ken is the type of person who would be blessed with one. At least, I hoped he would be.

You're going to be all right, baby. I told him telepathically. You'll see. You'll get better and things will go back to the way they were.

But what if they don't? He asked me. Face it, Schuldig. My number is up. We won't share another Valentine's Day like the one we had last year.

For a moment, I wasn't sure what he was talking about. Then it hit me. He was talking about the first time we spent Valentine's Day together! Oh God, I still remember that night. Who knows what we were thinking? That night's as clear as raindrops in my mind. Only then did I realize that today was also Valentine's Day and I hadn't bought anything for my lover.

"Sorry." I whispered. "I forgot to buy you something. I mean, it is Valentine's Day…"

"Why bother?" He asked. "I won't be able to use whatever you give me cause I will be…"

I couldn't take it when he went about his disease like this. "Stop it, baby! Stop! I hate it when you say things like that."

And he did stop talking. He knew he had hurt me and he knew why. "Sorry."

I shook my head. "Don't worry about it. What do you want me to do in place of a gift?"

Ken thought for a few minutes before he spoke.

"Tell me the story. Tell me how you and I spent Valentine's Day last year." He said eagerly, rolling over to his side so he faced me. His face was glowing like a little boy about to receive candy. Even in the darkness, I could see a light twinkling in those pretty brown eyes. I wanted to melt right then and there.

"You sure you want me to?" I managed to ask. "Wouldn't you rather tell it?"

He nodded. "Of course I want you to tell me. Tell me the story of how we found paradise that night. Plus you're a better storyteller. You remember all the juicy parts."

I wasn't sure whether he meant 'juicy' as in the sweetest parts of our night or as in the parts where we "got down to business". Maybe he meant both. Needless to say, I wasn't one to disappoint my lover. Disappoint my teammates, yes. Disappoint my lover, no.

"Okay." I agreed, patting his hand. It was cold, reminding me that he seriously was ill and that he probably didn't have a chance of living. Holding back a sob, I began to recount our story.

"This took place a long time ago, after you and I got together…"

* * *

(FLASHBACK)

"Where are we going?" Ken demanded as I dragged him out of the car. I felt a little guilty (hey, my name does mean 'guilty') of taking him out of bed and bringing him halfway across the country. I purposely did wait till this late though. I knew all the other kittens would be asleep at the shop. So I called him and told him to get dressed because we were going somewhere. He did as he was told without questioning me. I picked him up and then took him here. 'Here' was actually a motel situated between two towns. This was actually a quieter, darker part of Japan. The motel itself wasn't that trashy looking. In fact, painted all white and blue, it looked too nice to be a motel. Of course, I knew better.

"Don't tell me you're getting cold feet, sweetheart." I said, still pulling him towards the building. "I'd hate to spend Valentine's Day with a pissed off kitten. Not my idea of a fun time."

Ken was not convinced with my answer.

"Look." He said, half-annoyed. We both stopped in the middle of the parking lot and Ken went into his little speech. I stood there and listened as he spewed out whatever emotions he was feeling. "You bought me here because it was 'important business'. You told me that both Weiß and Schwarz were going to be left out it, that it was between you and me. Well, we've going around for about an hour and you still haven't told me what you want. So spit it out. Why are we here?"

I began to chuckle when I heard that last question. I knew Ken wasn't the shiniest nail in the Weiß bucket but I never thought he was that clueless. Still, he was waiting an answer. I could hear it in his thoughts. Well? What do you want with me?

He was willing enough to come this far with me, might as well give him a reward.

"I wanna fuck you." I said simply. "I wanna take you to the top floor of this motel and fuck you."

Ken looks at me like I've lost it. "This motel has no top floor."

"Ah, you're smart! Very good." I nodded with approval. "Then pick a room in this motel and we'll get down to business."

"Be serious!" He snapped.

"I am being serious. What, do I look the type of guy that drags people to motels just to do nothing? No, Siberian. I may joke around but I know when to get serious. And I am serious when I say I want to make love to you."

All of a sudden, his frown turns into this look of discomfort. "To make love to me? That's why you bought me here?"

"Why else do people go to motels at 2 in the morning, genius? Only 10% of the people who come to cheap motels are here to get a good night's rest. The other 90% are here to make love and forget about what's going on in their lives." I wasn't sure if my stats were right but I was pretty close.

"You just had to do the math, didn't you?" He sighed, folding his arms across his chest.

"Of course, love. Are you coming with me or not?"

He wanted to say more but I guess he didn't know what else to say. Finally, he nodded.

"I don't have a room preference." He added.

"I was hoping you didn't." I grinned. "I already reserved a room."

"I should have known." He muttered. We then went to get our key and I took him over to where our room was. It actually wasn't bad either. There was a single bed covered with a flowered comforter, TV, and a presumably clean bathroom. We didn't have any need to flip on the lights. What good would they do now? We were here for only one reason.

"You ready?" I asked, putting the 'Do Not Disturb' sign on the knob and locking the door. He had moved over to where the bed was, looking at it and then at me.

"First tell me again why we're having sex." He said.

"I love you." I said honestly. "And I want to prove that to you. I remember you asking me about what Paradise is like. Well, I'm going to show you."

"Then do it." He said, taking off his clothes and throwing them to the floor. I had to wipe the drool from my mouth when I saw his body. My God, this guy was in perfect shape. I knew he was athletic but damn! That body looked like it belonged to a Greek god. My hands were aching to touch it. "Do what we came here to do. Show me Paradise."

"Don't rush me, kitten. I'm a man who takes his time." I slowly began to take my clothes off and dropped them next to his. Then I pulled the sheets off the bed and got in. Slowly, Ken followed my example. Once together in bed, we began to kiss. The lips, the nose, the cheeks…named it and I planted a wet one on it. I began caresses his body and then getting him under me. So far, things looked good. I was glad I was going to be dominant first.

I began running my tongue from his navel up to his chest. His skin is smooth like cream and I have no trouble licking him. I was slightly disappointed though; his skin tasted salty, not sweet as I hoped. But he has lovely curves and it makes it easy for my tongue to makes its way across his body. As I keep licking my way to the top, my cock starts to throb. It's a good kind of pain. I think Farfarello would be pleased to hear about it.

"Siberian, darling?" I purred, pressing down on him.

"Hmm?" He managed to say. He was still breathing hard from the licking.

"Are you enjoying this so far?" I murmured, rubbing my face into his body and licking his chest. Then I looked up to see he was very disappointed. "What, baby?"

"You stopped just to ask me that?"

He answered the question with a question. In other words, he wanted me to keep going. He was disappointed that I actually paused for a few minutes. I grabbed his penis as if to answer.

Can I put your mind at ease, love? I asked telepathically. Letting out a soft cry, he nodded. Then I began singing telepathically to him. He started humming along and moaning. My own penis brushed against his, causing his to cringe. He grabbed me and began kissing me again. I returned that kiss and felt something happen. My legs kicked off the few blankets that I neglected to get rid off the first time. Our bodies twisted and turned, covering each other with sweat and god knows what else. Wet spots were forming all over that bed, enough of them to give the cleaning women a field day. Some of my hair stuck to the nape of my neck and I finally threw the pillows off. They were getting in the way.

"Keep at it, love." Ken wheezed. But he was probably tired because I woke him up early, not cause of the sex. From the way he was making those cute sounds, I had to keep going on. Tonight was a night that I wouldn't deny my lover a thing. I think he was crying too but out of joy. The pain we were feeling was good pain after all.

I ran my thumb down his penis and he let out a moan. It was kind of cute. He's like the kitten he is, meowing whenever something pleases him. And from the way he squirmed and moaned, I knew I was pleasing him. One way or another, I was pleasing him. Then I touched the end of his penis and pressed it. A small drop appeared on my thumb and I stared at it. Then I pressed my index finger against that thumb and tried to rub it off. I couldn't.

Then I felt his hands grasping my buttocks and realized he was pulling me closer. Fingernails digging into my ass, I winced. Wow, he had the ability to be domineering too. I felt an orgasm coming on and I didn't hold back. I let it all go in a single gush and moaned. Ken started to laugh.

"Feisty, aren't you?" He ran his fingers through my wet hair.

"I suppose…" I started to say but never finished. He pulled me even closer and kissed me. I returned it, wrapping my arms around his body. I hope he didn't mind that I had sticky skin. I was sweating hard but didn't want to clean myself. He flipped me over and did pretty much the same thing. Ooh, he has a scratchy tongue for a kitten. I don't know why I didn't notice this till now. I guess I kinda expected a kitten like him to be gentle. But he wasn't. I felt another orgasm come on and I let it all out again. This time, I didn't moan. I liked how it felt. I think I got some on the bed too but it wasn't that bad.

"More, baby, more!" I moaned.

"Of course, love. Anything for you." Was his response. My lips found his right nipple and began licking that as well. I even nibbled on it and he cried out.

"A little gentler, love. I think I felt your teeth."

"Sorry." I muttered. I moved over to the left nipple now and was gentle. Forget the fact I was having orgasms every three seconds. Forget the fact that bed is soaked with our sweat, cum, and whatnot. We were having fun. We were celebrating Valentine's Day like never before. More importantly, we were doing this cause we wanted to. Ken loved me or else he'd probably never have agreed to this. Even if he didn't figure out my intentions immediately, he'd kill me the moment we got to the motel. But he wanted Paradise and I was giving it to him. Through all the moaning, licking, and sex, I was showing him how wonderful Paradise was.

And then we were done. After four hours of hard and soft sex, we were done. I peeled myself off that smelly, dirty bed and I sighed happily. What a night we had.

Ken watched as I got up and looked disappointed. "We're done?"

"Yes. We're done for now. I'm tired and you're tired. I took you straight out of bed and over here, after all." I picked my clothes off the floor and beginning slipping into my shirt. "Besides, I'd rather finish what we started back at home. I hate spending the night in a trashy place like this."

"Then why did you pick it?" He asked, picking up his own clothes and starting to put them on.

"I don't know, babe. It seemed like a good place to have. Just not to spend the night in."

I realized that was a stupid response but it was the best one I could come up with at the moment. Ken didn't say anything about it though. Instead, he went about putting his clothes back on. Personally, I liked him better naked but he's just as beautiful with something covering that perfectly toned body.

"Was that what Paradise is like?" He asked.

I nodded, pulling my pants up. "Yeah. That's what Paradise is like."

He leaned over and whispered in my ear. "You'll take me back there again next Valentine's Day, won't you?"

I kissed him. "Yes, love. I hope you can wait till then."

After that, we spent a few more minutes kissing before walking out of that hotel room and heading down to my car. I don't know if he knew it but I promised that someday, preferably same day next year, I would bring him back here. I wanted us to spend another Valentine's Day in Paradise. And I wanted it to be better then the first time.

(END FLASHBACK)

* * *

"And that night was the best night of my life." I concluded. "I used to think Valentine's Day was a waste of time, just thrown in there to make most people feel miserable. I go around and hear thoughts of people who have been love. I hear thoughts from people who never found love and I hear thoughts from those who lost it. It's very annoying."

Ken managed to smile at me. "But you changed your mind that night, love."

"Yeah." I whispered. "We both changed our minds actually. We found paradise."

I couldn't take it anymore.

"I love you, Ken." I said. Then I placed a kiss on his forehead. "I have to go, sweetheart. I think we spent way too much time together."

"I didn't mind." He whispered.

"Baby, I love you." I said again. I felt a tear start to trickle down my cheek and brushed it aside. I never cried about anything like this. Then again, I've never felt love like this or had such wonderful sex as I did last year. The thought of never having this feeling again after he was gone yanked my heartstrings hard.

"I know you do. Don't worry about me. I won't forget tonight either even if it meant not making love to you." He whispered, kissing my hand. "You better go now. The rest of Schwarz probably worries about you though they probably never show it."

He has no idea how right he is on that. I nodded, kissed him one more time, and began backing away from his bed.

"Goodbye, Schuldig." He said as I put my hand on the doorknob. Holding back the tears, I turned around to face him. He smiled sadly, accepting whatever fate lay ahead. I knew I had to do the same.

I love you. Whatever happens will happen. But don't give up all your hope. His thoughts were saying.

"I'll try not to. Goodbye, Ken." I whispered back. Then I turned the doorknob, stepped out of the room, and walked out of the hospital. As soon as I got into my car, I burst into tears. What was the use in coming back here again? I knew I was losing him. I didn't want to put up with any more grief. I couldn't see him anymore.

Whatever happens will happen. But don't give up all your hope.

He was right. I couldn't give up hope. He could make it. He was strong. I had to have faith in him. I had to believe he'd pull through. When he did get better, I'd go see him again and we'd have more magical nights like Valentine's Day last year. I would take him to Paradise. That's the only promise I'm making now that I intend to keep till I die. Getting my strength back, I turned the ignition key, backed out of the parking space, and drove back home. I was confident again. I had hope he would make it out of this alive. That's just the kind of guy Ken is; never gives up without a fight. Knowing him, he was going to live.

And that night was the best night of my life…

The next morning, Crawford told me that he had a premonition where Ken had passed away in the hospital. Two hours later, I found out that he did.

~OWARI~

Authors End Notes:Yes, I realize I killed Ken. Yes, I like Ken. And there was slight OOC-ness on Schu's behalf. But I'm sure he'd change after falling in love. Hey, this was angst and it had explicit sex like I promised. What more did you expect?