Weiss Kreuz Fan Fiction ❯ Razorblade Romance ❯ Track 004: Right Here In My Arms ( Chapter 4 )

***I guess I should warn you that I've taken some…artistic license with the below lyrics; I changed the gender-specific words. Whoops! Even so, I still can't and don't lay claim to them. Or the characters in this poxy little story.***

 

 

Track Four: Right Here inMy Arms

 

 

He is smiling, like heaven is down on earth.

And sun is shining, so bright on him.

All his wishes; have finally come true.

And his heart is weeping, `cause happiness is killing him;

It's true, he's in love.

 

 

He'll be right here in my arms, so in love.

He'll be right here in these arms, he can't let go.

 

 

So hard he's trying
But his heart won't turn to stone...oh no.
And he keeps on crying, 'cause I won't leave him alone,
He'll never be alone...

 

 

------------------------------------------------------------

 

 

Gently pulling myself from the kneeling position, still keeping our lips and tongues connected, I lean across to put one hand on either side of Aya's head. Biting softly on his lower lip, one of my legs is swung across so that I'm straddling the beautiful man before me. Feeling the tell-tale bulge in his crotch, my answering erection is pressed against it. The near-electric jolt the contact causes makes me tighten my knees about his waist, and Aya lets out a small gasp of pain.

 

 

Feeling like I've been burnt, I jump straight off his body with apologies falling from my mouth like liquor from a bottle. I can't believe that I forgot about the whole `shot twice while trying to help me' thing!

 

 

“Oh, don't be such a fool, Yohji! Do you really think that I'm that precious? A little pain is nothing.”

 

 

“Well…No, but-…I mean, Aya, I don't want to hurt you!”

 

 

“What brought this bout of chivalry on? Spare me; we've had rough sex before. How is this different?”

 

 

“Aya. You have to understand that this is different to all those other times. You know as well as I do that this isn't just emotionless fucking anymore. I'm not going to hurt you.”

 

 

…Clearly, my mouth has a death wish that it's never told the rest of my body about. Why the Hell am I trying to talk about emotions with Aya? A grumpy, injured, horny Aya? My dick is telling me to flip him over and fuck him into the mattress…my brain is telling me to run before I get a sword somewhere nasty…but the rest of me wants to stay and just hold him. I s'pose they'll have to compromise.

 

 

“Hn. I really don't feel like having this conversation. Get in or get out.”

 

 

My mind switches naturally into problem-solving mode, going through my options here. If I listen to my brain and leave, he's never going to want to have anything to do with me ever again. If I listen to my dick, he'll be happy, but it'll only help him believe that I really don't care for him. Door three, however…

 

 

“Alright, alright, I'll stop talking and get in the bed. We're not having sex, though.”

 

 

Seeing the look on his gorgeous features that means he's about to start snarling, I hurry up and finish my sentence. This is pretty important, after all.

 

 

“…But that doesn't mean we can't still have some fun. On one condition; I get in, and I'm staying tonight. Your call, Aya.”

 

 

Good to see that I'm not the only one confused here. Aya's clearly struggling with something, probably his hatred of emotional intimacy and his raging sex drive. I'm hoping that I've exercised his cock enough to make it be able to yell louder than his fears.

 

 

Sighing in defeat, Aya slides away from the edge of his bed. That's really more of an invitation than I dared hope for, and it's hard to resist dancing for joy. That'd probably be frowned upon, though.

 

 

It's only when I'm toeing off my shoes that I remember: It's the middle of the freaking afternoon, and I'm supposed to be working. But when I look over to the redhead sprawled out on his bed, waiting for me, I really lose the ability to give a fuck about the store.

 

 

“Can we hurry it up a bit, Yohji?”

 

 

Huh, always so damned impatient. I finish taking off my boots, followed by the jacket I was wearing. Kneeling next to Aya on the bed, I look up into violet eyes, seeing myriad emotions battling it out in there.

 

 

I decide to put that little observation aside for later.

 

 

A smile appears on my lips and I unzip Aya's pants, swallowing him down in one smooth motion. He gasps and thrusts further on pure instinct. To stop from gagging, I lightly grab his hips, being incredibly careful not to go near the lower gunshot wound. Holding him down, I moan when I increase the suction on his dick, enjoying the slightly strange taste of his pre-come as my tongue flicks over the slit. The noise vibrates along him, and he groans; a gorgeous sound that always gets me hot.

 

 

Sliding my lips and tongue along his length, drawing back when his breathing eventually becomes ragged and quick, I will my throat to relax.

 

 

“Uhhhh…YOHJI!”

 

 

Aya's muscles stiffen and he pulses in my mouth as I swallow everything he lets out. Realising my grip is getting hard enough to bruise his hips, my fingers release him and he sags back into the bed. His face twists when he lands on his wounds, and he moves about to lie comfortably.

 

 

“…Thanks…”

 

 

…Wow, can't say he's ever thanked me before. Then again, I haven't really blown him much; it was always get together, fuck, run away. The rest of the bases were never really visited.

 

 

I clean the last bits of come from his cock with my tongue and tuck him back in. Glancing up, I see Aya's eyes slowly closing. Looks like the injuries, the venture into the store and the frankly quite amazing blowjob took everything out of him.

 

 

Sadly, I have to take my eyes off him to put my jacket and shoes back on. When I manage to get my eyes back to the amazing sight before me, I nearly burst out laughing. Aya's asleep, with the most bloody adorable smile I've ever seen on him. Actually, it's one of the only smiles I've ever seen on him. He looks…at peace, like there're no problems in the world, just relaxation. I lean down to kiss him on the cheek, breathing in the vague scent of Aya and sex.

 

 

The smell makes my dick scream even louder than usual and I suddenly feel my own, er, hard problem.

 

 

Taking one last glance at Sleeping Beauty, I hightail it to the bathroom for a wank before I have to get back to work. I'll just tell Ken that Aya put up a fight or something, and that's why it took so long. He'll have been okay on his own.

 

 

------------------------------------------------------------

 

 

”Never fear, I'm back, and the vicious kitty is in bed. Mission accomplished!”

 

 

I sail back into the store, as fabulous as always. Ken's standing around, talking to Omi. Guess I was…away longer than I thought if school's out already. They both turn, Omi laughing and Ken looking pissed.

 

 

“Did it have to take you that goddamned long, Yohji? You were supposed to chuck Aya back into bed and come back, not have a smoke break and a happy little rest!”

 

 

“Yeah, yeah, whatever. You'd be surprised how much of a fight that pissy bastard can put up, even injured and swaying on his feet. And if I wanted to have a cigarette to deal with the stress, that's my deal!”

 

 

“There's just no arguing with you, is there? For crying out loud, I'd-…What's that on your top?”

 

 

Crap, shit, fuckittyfuckfuck! I didn't spill any, did I? My head flicks down to my shirt, and I see it. Pulling the material out from my chest, the whitish stain glares back at me. I forgot to check for mess! Oh God, I hope they don't click to what it is.

 

 

“Argh, shit! Dunno what it's from, but I gotta go change. Can't have the fangirls seeing me messy! It'd shatter all their little fantasies.”

 

 

“Traffic wasn't bad so I got here early, but they'll be arriving soon, Yotan! Be quick!”

 

 

…I don't think Omi's clued on. Ken looks a little suspicious, but me bedding Aya is probably the last possibility in his mind. That's lucky, because I'm fairly certain that Aya still doesn't want `us' getting out.

 

 

I wonder if he's ever going to admit to his feelings. I know that he feels more for me than just `teammate with benefits'. Otherwise, he never would have lost his shit the way he did when those guards nearly had me; the Abyssinian I know would also never have forgotten to check for other security. He wouldn't have gotten shot. Then there was the way he didn't quarter me when I wandered into his room at that ridiculous hour, and how he let me sleep with him.

 

 

He feels for me…and the thought doesn't make me want to run for the hills. Sure, I'm terrified that he's going to be cut down like everything else I love, but…I don't want to live in fear. It's bad enough sleeping in fear, fighting the nightmares that have started to feature a certain gorgeous redhead.

 

 

I love Aya…and I don't think that even Asuka could change that. But he's a different story. He's so fucked up that he'll probably push me away now. I'm not gonna let that happen. I'll never leave him alone until he admits what I know is true.

 

 

Striding back into the house, my mind is racing with plans about Aya.

 

 

------------------------------------------------------------

 

 

It's just after midnight, and the youngest two Weiss members aren't around to see what I'm about to do. Shirtless, but wearing trackie pants for once, I slip into the hallway, my assassin training kicking in. Avoiding the creaking floorboards and keeping footsteps to a minimum, I slip over to Aya's room and try his door. It's unlocked again; either Aya's getting sloppy or…he's waiting.

 

 

I push the door open, and it occurs to me that I'm in a much better way than I was last time I did this. The thought of a woman hasn't crossed my mind since the mission…Fuck, but I've got it bad.

 

 

“Leave me the Hell alone, Omi. The bandages are fine.”

 

 

I smirk at that. He sounds tired; guess I woke him. His back is to the door so he can't see that it's me. Putting on my best Omi voice, I act like the smartass I am.

 

 

“But Ayan, I thought you might have started to bleed again after Yotan sucked you dry and blew your mind!”

 

 

He practically falls out of bed at that. He rolls onto his other side, facing me and glaring up a storm.

 

 

“I'm tired. Once again, get in or get out.”

 

 

The claws come out, and I'm resisting the urge to crack up laughing. Aya can be absolutely hilarious when he's being scary. But he's also still terrifying; laughing will probably get me castrated.

 

 

I slip into the bed, facing Aya. Putting an arm around his bare waist, carefully missing the sore spots, I pull him close and tuck his head under my chin. He resists a bit at the motion, but I'm assuming that he's too tired to really care, because he gives up pretty quickly. I smile, and whisper into his soft hair.

 

 

“Goodnight, Aya. Make sure you're here when I wake up this time.”

 

 

He makes his usual monosyllabic grunting noise, and I think about what that could mean until I hear him fall asleep. Feeling exhausted myself, I ignore the whimpering of my dick at being this close to Aya without actually being inside him, and close my eyes.

 

 

------------------------------------------------------------

 

 

I wake up the next morning at the feel of Aya trying to escape from the hold I have on him. Deciding to let him struggle a bit longer, I keep my eyes shut and tighten my grip. He swears quietly under his breath, and tries to loosen my arm without hurting himself or disturbing me. It's been long enough.

 

 

“Aya, stay still. We need to talk, whether you like it or not. I'm hoping that you'll like it; we can be done quicker that way. Not that I have a problem with staying in bed holding you here, all day long.”

 

 

He goes still; I'm not falling for it. I let him go and he's going to take off, that much I'm sure of. I'm going to start my tirade, see if I can draw him into conversation.

 

 

“I…Aya, what is it that we have here? Sure, we started off as fuckbuddies, but…it's more now. I can see it in your eyes that you know. Listen, I get that emotions scare the shit out of you or whatever. You think that I'm not the same way? We're both completely messed up. Relationships, with lovers or with family, have always ended badly for us. Why else would we be here, if not for that?”

 

 

I pause, trying to gauge his reaction. Fuck, he's gone blank. This is useless. Sighing, I let my arm fall from his waist. Predictable he slips away, and I roll onto my back; I knew this was too good to be true. I hear the wardrobe open, and clothes begin slithering about. Then, it stops.

 

 

“Yohji…I…Oh, never mind.”

 

 

That catches my attention; Aya usually only speaks calculated sentences, not generally stumbling about on his words. It occurs to me that this is my only chance, that it's now or never.

 

 

“Aya, stop and look at me.”

 

 

Sitting up, I watch Aya turn halfway towards me. I motion that he needs to be fully facing me, and for once he complies. Breathing deeply, I throw myself into the fire.

 

 

“Aya…I love you. It's that simple.”

 

 

With surprising speed, Aya moves to the door, opens it and disappears into the hall. I drop back to the bed, trying desperately to convince myself that it's just his way of dealing, and he isn't really flat-out rejecting me.

 

 

It doesn't work, and I feel a heat behind my closed eyelids. Everything around me smells like Aya…I have to get away. Pulling myself out of the bed and leaving the room, I immediately collide with a distracted Ken.

 

 

“Hey, watch it, Ay-YOHJI?? Uh…why the Hell are you coming out of…”

 

 

I cut him off by shoving past, knocking him into the wall. His confused and angry whining is ignored as I walk to my own room, wishing that it was Aya I walked into at the same time as I'm glad he's not out here.

 

 

Ditching the damned uncomfortable sleep pants and crawling naked into my empty, cold bed, I consider everything that's happened since Aya told me he didn't want to have sex anymore.

 

 

I almost killed an innocent girl; that's fucked up. I almost died; I only lived because Aya was there. Aya almost died; entirely my fault, including the fact that he's now got two bullets lodged in his torso. I realised that I love an antisocial fool; he'll never be able to admit to feeling the same. I screwed my chances with said fool, and now he's left me; I'm empty, alone and depressed. Just wonderful.

 

 

I fall asleep again, waiting for the dreams to come.

 

 

------------------------------------------------------------

 

 

“Don't kill him…just kill me as usual, and leave him out of this. Please.”

 

 

Oh God, I've been reduced to begging. What is happening to me?

 

 

“Hmm, well, you see, I really have nothing to do with what goes on here. I can't help it if your guilty mind is tearing itself apart about killing me. Twice. It's not my decision to pit your two loves against each other. So you can die, sure, but only as soon as you've seen me win out over this ridiculous substitute.”

 

 

What nonsense is she spouting now? My thinking on her words is cut short as Neu pulls a katana from thin air…Aya's katana. I'd recognise the deadly weapon anywhere, even as it's penetrating his body in a gore-filled parody of Seppuku. Trying to reach the pair, I yell for the dying man.

 

 

“Aya!”

 

 

“…yes?”

 

 

The quiet voice throws me out of my dream. It takes a second for it to register that the voice was not from my mind, but rather from in front of me. Opening my eyes, I take in the sight of Aya leaning stiffly against my closed door. Pain flares deep inside at the sound and vision of him, warring with the joy brought on by the fact that he's here. Opening my mouth to say something, I decide against it and simply watch him fidget around uncomfortably.

 

 

He moves toward me, and I draw my legs closer to my body. He sits on the foot of my bed, wincing slightly as his back settles against the wooden bed end and knocks the injuries. I pull myself into a sitting position so that we're eye-to-eye, trying to read each other's faces…I can't take this silence.

 

 

“How long were you standing there?”

 

 

“…About ten minutes. You were tossing so much…”

 

 

So, maybe it wasn't complete rejection that I suffered earlier. But I don't want to hope. It only leads to pain. Aya looks down, fiddling with my bedcover and hiding his eyes from me.

 

 

“Yohji…did you mean it when you said that you love me?”

 

 

There's nothing to do here but tell the truth, really. I don't want to lie to Aya. He deserves better than that.

 

 

“Yes, I love you. I have for a while…I just didn't know it until I saw you almost die because of me. It's clichéd but…I realised that I didn't want to live without you. That's no lie, Aya.”

 

 

He goes quiet and still, clearly thinking hard. Or possibly fighting an internal battle, one that I'll never get to witness. I'd love to be inside that head, to see how he thinks; but if I could do that then I'd probably be in Schwartz and trying to kill Aya…this line of thinking is horrible.

 

 

“Yohji, I…”

 

 

He mutters something that I can't hear. Judging by the flush I can just see on his white face, it was something important, too. As much as I hate to ask him to repeat himself, I have no choice, so I do. He lifts his head to meet my eyes again.

 

 

“That was…I…love you too, Yohji. That's why I broke things off between us…”

 

 

I'm sure that his logic makes sense on some planet, but it's the first sentence that is important to me, so that's the one I focus on. He actually just told me how he feels? This is…unexpected. So I deal with it in the only way I know.

 

 

“I'm glad you told me, Aya. Get in here; I'm not letting you run away again.”

 

 

Oops, probably not the best idea to remind him of that. He's probably just assumed that I think he's a coward. That's the last thing I'd ever call him.

 

 

“I don't think so. It's ten in the morning, and the others are probably about to barrel in here to drag you out. It seems that us being in bed together would be…problematic to explain.”

 

 

Ah, so it's not the fact that he's embarrassed, it's the fact that he hates awkward situations. That's why he doesn't want them to find out! Oh well, no worries there…

 

 

“Ah, no sweat! I think Ken's already pieced it together, so he'll probably keep Omi distracted and stay away.”

 

 

Aya looks shocked. I should really fill him in.

 

 

“Well, y'see, I kind of walked into him when I was leaving your room this morning. Slammed him into a wall too, it was hilari-…anyway, yesterday after I left you in bed and went back to work, he noticed a stain on my shirt. Guess you accidentally came on my top a little, because it was definitely sus. `Cause he's not an idiot, he probably put two and two together. I think we're safe.”

 

 

He doesn't look convinced, so I lean forward and pull him towards me by the collar of his shirt. The movement makes the covers slip off me, revealing me in all my naked glory. Aya's gaze instinctively slips downwards, and I laugh. When he looks back up, I see that he's smiling too. It doesn't quite take over his eyes, though…there's a pain deep in them that I don't think I can ever erase.

 

 

Deciding to deal with that later as well, I grab the hem of Aya's shirt and take it off for him. He keeps the pants, but I'm not going to push the issue too much. I have him here, with me…that's all I need.

 

 

Pulling the covers around him and me, we fall back into the position we held in his bed. Not falling asleep this time, I amuse myself by playing with his hair, and he skims light patterns around my back. The need to talk is obvious but…he doesn't want to.

 

 

Despite the fact that I'm ecstatic, a sadness lingers around the room. Aya…he's so lost. I want to comfort him, but that's something I'm not good at. All I can do is put on a cheerful face, and hope his sadness disappears on its own…I want him to be happy, above all else.

 

 

Because I love him, and he loves me.