Weiss Kreuz Fan Fiction ❯ Sweetie ❯ Chapter 1

The room was spinning, and Yoji hadn't even opened his eyes yet. Unfortunately, when he attempted it, he was looking directly into a bank of florescent lights. So much for that idea. He felt -- strange. His body wasn't working right, and his brain wasn't answering any of his questions. It seemed to be wrapped in yards and yards of cotton gauze. Or maybe cotton candy... there was definitely a sticky quality to this feeling...

 

Oh, yeah. He couldn't move because he was tied to a table. He was tied to a table because he'd been captured by some dark beast or t'other. He was feeling a bit vague on the details at the moment, but he was definitely tied to a table, and it definitely wasn't recreational.

 

The spinning thing was actually kind of nice. Entertaining. He generally preferred not to be drugged, but if they had to, at least it was the good shit.

 

He turned his head to the side and tried the eye-opening thing again. Now he was looking at the big, bad guy who had captured him. He was an ugly bad guy, but Yoji wasn't blinded and his eyes weren't watering, so the experiment was an improvement over the first try, all in all.

 

“Hey,” Yoji said. A sound did come out of his throat, but it was more of a generic squeak. Not very dignified, really. He cleared his throat and tried again.

 

“Hey, you -- head thug in charge.”

 

That got him a glare. Well, Yoji was glared at regularly by the best in the business, so that wasn't going to phase him. “I can tell you think you've got a big dick, but you had to drug me to take me down and keep me, so I'm not actually very impressed.”

 

The man looked like he wanted to kill him. Yoji laughed. This was fun. “What, am I annoying you? The wages of sin, man. Make love, not war, and all that.” Yoji paused, frowning. “Actually, I've always wondered about that -- make love, not war. I mean, the two just aren't mutually exclusive. Although it's kind of hard to kill somebody while you're jacking off... But you just need to be determined.” Yoji grinned. “I know whereof I speak.”

 

The thug looked brutally, extravagantly angry. “Shut up,” he growled.

 

“You know, I have some of my best insights when I'm completely fucked up. Like here's something that just popped into my head... Oh, this is really good. Really, really good. This is, like, meaning of life shit. You ready?”

 

The thug glowered menacingly. “Shut *up*.”

 

“You're kind of an ass, but I'll tell you anyway. This is too good to keep to myself. Get ready for it: `Push ahead, showing no lizards.'” Yoji paused to allow the wisdom to sink in. His captor was looking more pissed off by the moment, which Yoji thought was churlish, since he'd just given him the secret of life, but there was no accounting for evil-doers. He was about to say so when he saw a distinctive flash of red between two shadows.

 

“Aya! Aya, Aya, Aya!” Yoji giggled happily.

 

“Who's Aya?” the thug asked.

 

“Aya's my sweetie.”

 

The thug snorted derisively. “Your *sweetie,* huh.”

 

“Yup. Aya's gonna kick your ass.”

 

“Right. Your *sweetie*'s going to break in here, get past my guards, and kick my ass.”

 

Yoji squinted more closely at the shadows and saw three guards slumped on the floor, three pools of blood spreading all around them. Then he looked up over the thug's shoulder and saw Aya, smiling a faint, fond smile at him before shifting his gaze back to their adversary.

 

“Yup! Aya's gonna kick your ass.”

 

“Actually,” Aya said softly, leaning over to speak directly into the thug's ear, “I'm going to gut you.”

 

One graceful shift and down went the thug.

 

“You kick ass!” Yoji enthused. “You come up with the best lines -- I wish I was as cool are you are when I'm killing people. You could be in a movie! You...

 

Aya smiled again. “Shut up, Yoji.”

 

**********

NOTE: Just a little daydream I had while walking home from the train. And while I have a dream, I do not have ownership of Weiss, unlike Kyoko Tsuchiya, Project Weiss, etc. I'm just, you know, here for the beer.