Weiss Kreuz Fan Fiction ❯ Switch ❯ Epilogue: BOOM! And We're Back to Normal...Not! ( Chapter 17 )

[ P - Pre-Teen ]

Switch

Epilogue: BOOM! And We're Back to Normal...NOT!

By Carter Tachikawa

Disclaimer: Hey, it's the last chapter. No, I don't own Weiß.

Summary: Here it comes, one last time. A mission leaves the four men of Weiß unconscious. When they awaken, they've switched bodies! Now Ken is in Aya's body, Omi is in Ken's body, Yohji is in Omi's body, and Aya is in Yohji's body. Will they fix the mix-up? (Begins to cry realizing this is the last time I will ever write this summary T_T)

Pairings: Good old Ran x Ken and slight Brad x Schu. (Sniffle...last time I'll be saying this too!)

* * *

(Sigh)

Well, this is it. I've written the last chapter to a long and complicated and confusing fanfic. Everything will end now. Now our guys will face off Schwarz and hopefully fix up the mix up.

BIG LIST OF THANK YOU TO THE FOLLOWING AT FFN AND MM.ORG (for everyone who reviewed both, 16 and 17 and more):

CherubKatan, kami-chan, Nekocin, Mikoto the Gnome Girl, Sailor Panda, Riisha, Mids, IceAngel, Windy-kun, Melanie, Ayako, Meirelle Emeraldeyes, bluerock-nakie, Little Isa, Shaynie (if you looked in the previous chapter, the answer was there), Miss Vampire, Mizu 17, Olivia yuy-maxwell, asa-chan, Siberian, Moku, Neptican, Tears of Pluto, Lunatic, Krysana, and Midnight Katana. (If I left anyone out, I'm sorry^^)

* * *

It wasn't long before Weiß had to go and face their names at the given location. Lucky for all of them, no one seemed to be around to notice or care.

"We're here!" 'Omi' yelled out. The other three glared at him and he knew he did something wrong. "What?"

"We're assassins. We do not go calling out to the targets." 'Yohji' said firmly.

"Are you trying get us killed or something?" 'Ken' added. "Remember what I said? We're supposed to 'surprise' Schwarz, not let them know that we're here."

"Okay, okay, I'm sorry. Sheesh, I hate being seventeen!" 'Omi' muttered. "I don't want to live through the teenage years again! Especially not in this stubby- toed, short, whiny-voiced_ "

"Yohji-kun!" 'Ken' hissed. "Did you forget that it's *my* body you're talking about?!"

"Be quiet, both of you!" 'Yohji' snapped. "They could be here."

"Which we are!" A familiar, not-so-friendly voice rang out. The four of them paused in their tracks. "Good job, Weiß. You're on time!"

They turned around to find all four Schwarz members behind them. Schuldig smirked, Nagi looked uninterested, Farfarello was licking his knife, and Crawford just looked smug.

"What do you want?" 'Aya' asked, preparing to attack. The others followed his example.

"I'm glad to see you heeded my orders." Crawford continued. That comment, unfortunately, set off an argument.

*/Your orders? I was the one who came up with the brilliant plan!/* Schuldig retorted telepathically. Crawford gave him an annoyed look.

*/You were also the one who came up with idiotic plan for killing people with the letter in E in their names./* He shot back.

*/Hey, you agreed to it!/*

*/I didn't have much of a choice! You stole my clothes while I was taking a shower and threatened not to give them back until I agreed!/*

*/Well, yes. A part of the reason I stole your clothes was so you'd agree but the main reason so I could you see n-a-k-e-d! And damn, you have a fine ass!/* Schuldig smirk grew bigger when he said the last two words.

*/Schuldig!/* Crawford turned red. Farfarello and Nagi just stared at them, knowing they were talking about something but weren't sure what. Weiss was also waiting down there, wondering why their enemies were taking forever to attack. Schuldig and Crawford finally realized that now wasn't exactly the time to talk about this.

*/But enough talk, Braddykins. We got some kittens to torture!/*

*/You've always got to have the last word, don't you?/*

*/Of course!/*

"Are you guys going to fight or not?" A bored 'Omi' asked.

"That's what I'm wondering." Nagi added, glaring at the other two. Brad and Schuldig stopped staring at each other and turned their attention towards Weiß. Farfarello licked his knife one more time before saying two words.

"Let's fight."

And so the battle commenced.

They paired off in their separate areas; 'Aya' versus Crawford, 'Yohji' versus Schuldig, 'Ken' versus Farfarello, and 'Omi' versus Nagi. No one was having good luck in fighting though. Omi charged towards Nagi in hopes of getting the boy down on the ground.

Unfortunately, Nagi was prepared. Using his telekinetic powers, he picked 'Omi' up and slammed him into a wall. Omi let out a cry and Nagi thought he heard something crack. He hoped he hadn't broken any major bones. It would be a shame. He was looking forward to torturing him more. After showing off that stupid navel ring (which Nagi knew was fake) and tattoo, Bombay deserved a little more pain.

"Why do you hate me?" 'Omi' moaned as he slid down that wall and into a heap on the ground.

Nagi shrugged. "Because you are the enemy?"

"Good point." He wheezed. "Just don't hit me in the stomach. Please? I got my bellybutton pierced. I even showed it to you."

Nagi rolled his eyes. "Whatever."

Meanwhile, 'Ken' wasn't having much luck with Farfarello. The Irishman may have been short a few nuts or two but he was strong. 'Ken' never had much experience fighting Farfarello but was wishing he had. Right now, he was pinned down by Farfarello's weight.

"You're weak, kitten." Farfarello pointed out. He began breathing down 'Ken's' neck. "Very weak."

"Get off of me!" 'Ken' choked out.

"Why? Seeing you suffer is making God suffer."

"Because I said so!" Then, using the strength he had, 'Ken' managed to push Farfarello off. The Irishman was a little shocked by this but soon recovered. If anything, he was pleased to see that 'Ken' wanted to fight him. He licked his knife as if to approve this behavior.

"Let's fight, kitten." He said, taking the knife out of his mouth and charging towards 'Ken'. They both went all out and began attacking each other. Farfarello even managed to draw blood when he slashed 'Ken's' arm. Wincing in pain, 'Ken' kept on fighting back.

Then there was 'Aya' and Crawford. Once again, 'Aya' was getting thrashed. Crawford was so fast, he couldn't lay a finger on him! From the number of hits he was receiving, he knew he'd be covered in bruises for weeks. This was not going to please his lover.

*/Poor Ran. This is *his* body that's getting beaten and bruised./* 'Aya' would have felt more guilty if he wasn't being pounded to death at the moment.

Out of all eight, Schuldig was having the most problem. He was fighting Balinese yet he still heard Abyssinian's thoughts! Every now and then, he'd hear something about a sister in a coma, which he knew Balinese didn't have. Then there was something about justice. No, there was none of the usual things: women, cigarettes, sex, etc. He only heard Balinese thinking about revenge and occasionally thinking about Ken.

*/Who are you?/* He demanded. Once again, he managed to get wrapped up by wire.

*/Who do you think I am?/* Was the response he got. Schuldig groaned.

*/Look, kitten, I don't have time to waste. This place is set to blow_/*

'Yohji couldn't believe what he head. "What?!"

Schuldig grinned despite the fact he was still strung up. "Did we forget to tell you, little kitten? We wanted to make sure you died this time around. In case any of us failed to finish you off, we've set a bomb in one of the buildings to blow and destroy everything that surrounds it. And yes, dear kitten, that would include you."

'Yohji' froze in place. This gave Schuldig enough time to break free from the wire and start fighting again. He managed to get 'Yohji' down on the ground and run off.

"It was sure fun playing with you, kitten. I still don't know what's going on but who cares? You're going to die anyway." With that, Schuldig used his super speed to disappear from the scene.

'Yohji' got up, angry with himself for letting the telepath escape. He ran out to find that everyone else was coming towards him. Schwarz was gone but they were still there, beaten and bruised. He ran up to them.

"Guys!" 'Ken' shouted as they regrouped. "We gotta leave! This place is_"

"Going to explode!" 'Aya' finished off. "I know. Crawford revealed that to me."

"And Nagi told me." 'Omi' said. "Great! Just what I needed! Another explosion!"

"Where did Schwarz go?" 'Yohji' demanded, looking around. He didn't see any sign of their enemies.

"They were smart and escaped." 'Aya' sighed. "We should go too."

"Then why are we still standing here for? Let's do what Schwarz did: make like bananas and split!" 'Omi' yelled. Ken

"But they got away!" 'Yohji' grimaced.

"Don't worry about them!" 'Aya' exclaimed, dragging his boyfriend away from the scene. Ken and Omi were already making a beeline towards a safer place. "We've got to escape, koi! Come on!"

"Aw, man, I'm too young to die!" 'Omi' explained as he ran. "And this time, I'm telling the truth!"

"Quick, guys!" 'Ken' yelled from up in front. "We have to get out before_"

BOOM!

* * *

~A couple of minutes later...~

"Oh, my head." Yohji moaned, sitting up. Leave it to Schwarz to pick a place like this. Their enemies had disappeared but they probably weren't dead. Rubbing his temples, he realized that the fight was over and he was lying next to a building that suffered minimal damaged. The sides were singed and few windows were broken but other than that, it was fine. It was certainly better than some of these other buildings, which were completely demolished. Getting strength to turn to the side, he stared into the window of that building.

And Yohji stared back at him.

He blinked two-three times, gaping at the reflection. Instead of a genki teenager, he was looking at a sexy young man. Same blond hair, same jade eyes, sunglasses...yes, he was staring at himself! He wasn't Omi anymore.

*/I'm me again!/* He silently rejoiced, trying hard to hide his excitement. */No more exams! No more shorts! I can date women over 18 again! I can smoke and drink! I don't have to put up with Omi's torture anymore! I'm Yohji again!/*

Then he remembered the torture he went through. Omi was always constantly pinching his side and whatnot when they were switched. Well, he'd show him!

*/If I'm back to normal, Omi probably is too./* He assumed. Grinning wickedly, he made his way over to where the unconscious Omi was and pinched him in the arm.

"OW!" It woke him up. Omi sat up and glared at him with those large blue eyes.

"Serves you right, chibi." Yohji smirked.

"Yohji-kun! That hurt!" Omi whined, rubbing his arm. "What did you do that for?"

"Great! That means you're back to normal too!"

"Huh?" Omi stopped wincing.

"Don't you see, chibi? We've been switched back." Yohji pointed out. "Just look at yourself. You're Omi, not Ken."

Omi looked at himself and saw he was indeed in his old body. "You're right, Yohji-kun! That explosion must have switched us back!" Then he frowned. "Why do I taste something like tobacco, alcohol, and wet crotch in my mouth?"

Yohji decided it was wise not to tell him a thing. Meanwhile, Ken was getting up and rubbing the back of his head. He had landed on the worst part of his body.

"Ow." He moaned. Then he did a double take. That wasn't Aya's voice coming out of his mouth. It was his own! He looked over himself to make sure this was for real. Yes, it was. He was wearing his clothes. He didn't have eartails anymore or an earring in one ear. He was back to normal.

*/I don't believe it./* He began running his hands across his face. Then he also caught a reflection of himself. He had his brown hair, brown eyes, and lopsided grin back. He didn't look like Aya anymore. And that also meant_

Aya grunted something unintelligible before sitting.

"Ken-kun! Aya-kun! We got switched back!" Omi exclaimed, running up to them. "It was the explosion that did this! It was what got us switched and it's what us back."

"Thank God!" Yohji added. "Remind me never to take a mission where explosives are involved. I was not looking forward to being 17 again!"

"Oh, but you must have had some fun while you were in my body?" Omi pointed out. "You got to date girls under 18."

"True but I still prefer women to high school girls. By the way, you may get some phone calls the next few days. Just know I had nothing to do with them."

Omi groaned. "Oh, Yohji-kun!"

They began bantering again but Ken didn't care. He was back in his old body again and so was Aya! Speaking of Aya, he was also checking himself over to make sure everything was all right. He seemed satisfied.

"Isn't this great, koi?" Ken asked, excited about the new switch. "We don't have to worry about living in different bodies anymore!"

"All's well that ends well." Aya murmured, wrapping his arms around Ken. "Personally, I'm glad to be back. And I'm glad you're back in your old body too."

"Same here." Ken nodded. "Though I did learn a few things while I was in your body."

"You did?"

"Yup. For starters, I learned you have very sensitive and soft skin. I accidentally cut myself and, though it was a small cut, it began bleeding immediately. I also realized that you get burned easily too. You should never wear shorts on a sunny day, love. Oh, and I also realized how skinny you are. I've got to feed you something full of sugar or you'll starve!"

"So I'll starve if I eat too little but I'll gain weight and possibly become hyper if I have too much sugar?" Aya raised an eyebrow. "Is that what you want?"

"Um..." Ken blushed. "Forget about that. The bottom line is it was an interesting experience to be in your body."

"Just be glad it wasn't Yohji's body." Aya shuddered. "I never want to go back there again."

"But you *do* want to go home and make love, right?" Ken asked seductively.

"Right." Aya nodded.

Ken smiled. "I was hoping you'd agree with me."

"But first, we talk about your punishment." Aya began.

Ken paled. "Punishment?"

"You still have to fix the scratch on my car, remember? Not to mention you did destroy my first sweater and try to cover it up by buying me a new one." Aya pointed out, half amused and half pissed.

Ken groaned. "You *knew* about that? How?!"

Aya smiled. "I have my ways."

Ken looked over in Yohji and Omi's direction who were still arguing. "One of them told you, didn't they?"

Aya nodded.

"I'm going to torture them so much tomorrow." Ken frowned. "Just wait and see, koi. I'm going to_"

"And", Aya held up a finger and put it to Ken's mouth, "you and I also have a little business to take care of tonight. When we go home, don't change."

"But I smell like the inside of Yohji's mouth! Yuck!"

"Trust me on this! Don't change." Aya then whispered into his lover's ear. "I want you to meet me in the shower, not in bed. Are you catching my drift?"

Ken most certainly did catch the drift. "Yup!"

The two of them kissed underneath the darkened sky while Yohji and Omi fought on. During the kiss, Ken was almost certain he heard Yohji say the words 'liposuction', 'ugly toes', and 'navel piercing'.

* * *

Meanwhile, back the Schwarz headquarters, thing weren't going quite as well.

"I'm going to take a bath!" Schuldig announced. "I'm filthy from head to toe."

"Funny. I was going to go in." Brad frowned.

Schuldig scowled. "I'm sorry but I called dibs on the shower first."

"You know I always go in now. Why couldn't you take one earlier?"

"I did. I didn't expect to get dirty again."

"You should. We were fighting Weiss, in case you forgot!"

"I didn't forget!

"Go in together!" Nagi exclaimed before either one could answer. Before they could react, he telekinetically shoved them into the bathroom and locked the door on them. Schuldig and Brad began banging on the door, begging to be let out. Things like "I'm not going to take a bath with him! I'm too young for this! You have no idea what happened!" were being heard from the other side. Farfarello and Nagi both listened to the commotion. The grin on Nagi's face widened.

"Shouldn't you let them out?" Farfarello asked.

"Nope!" Nagi shook his head. "I like this."

Farfarello looked puzzled. "Why?"

Nagi grinned. "Because spying on two men in the shower is a sin and God doesn't like sinners."

~OWARI~


Interpret that ending as you wish.

Enter long, boring author notes...

And so we have finished the lovely story, dear readers. What started in October (I think) has now finished in May. We laughed, we cried, and more than half of you begged to update this thing quickly. Well, now, it's done.

Those of you who want to write a version starring Schwarz may do so. You can start from my ending or make up something completely different on your own. However, if no one ever does, come back to me in a few months and ask me to do one. I will try to write another fic.

Thank you all for reading this. Whether you started reading this when I had the first chapter or when I was halfway or are reading for the first time now, I thank you. You've given me advice, pointed out where I was wrong, and encouraged me to keep writing. Being only my second Weiß fic, I'm pleased I have kept you till this point. I look forward to hearing from you guys again in the future.

In the meantime, I have two new stories up (both are RanKens^_^), "White Surprise" and "Blank Pages". WS takes place after series and stars Kenken (we all love Kenken^^). BP is completely AU that even a person with no knowledge of Weiß can understand. In addition to RanKen, it has a Yohji/Schu/Brad triangle and Omi/Nagi. You can check them out if you wish.

Now one more note: C-chan is going away in two weeks. I'm going to visit relatives who live out of the country and will have no Internet access T_T. So don't try emailing or IM-ing me from May 31 to July 22. You won't find me. But I will keep writing!

Forgive any major errors. I did the best editing job I could.

Take care, dear readers. Thank you for hanging on so long.

Till next fic,

~Carter-chan/Carter-kun/Carter-san/C-chan/Carter/CT