Weiss Kreuz Fan Fiction ❯ Switch ❯ Chapter 8: Schwarz Appears and Talk About Goats! Baa! ( Chapter 8 )

[ P - Pre-Teen ]

Switch

Chapter 8: Schwarz Appears and Talk About Goats! Baa!

By Carter Tachikawa

Disclaimer: I don't own Weiss Kreuz. (I think I have been spelling it wrong the whole time. AHHHHHH!!!!!!! How could I, a fan of this show, spell it wrong?!) If I did, I would have Ken and Yohji appear in the first two episodes of Gluhen and Omi would have more air time. (Although episodes with Aya, sporting glasses and a Duo Maxwell braid, aren't bad at all.)

Summary: La la la…boys get mission, get knocked out, get switched, confusion ensues…la la la…Aya likes soccer, Ken likes computers, Omi likes women, and Yohji likes…nothing anymore…la la la. Confusion, confusion, and more confusion!

Pairings: RANKEN! RANKEN! RANKEN! I don't think I need to make it any more clearer, do I? Shounen-ai/slash/yaoi…choose whatever you like. RanKen rocks!

(Wah! I am a complete baka! First I confuse myself, now I've been spelling Weiss Kreuz wrong the entire freaking time! And to make matter worse, I keep leaving "TBC" off these days! Oh man, how could I do that to the bishounens and you readers? Well, now I know and I won't do it again. Um, last chapter…tons of confusion…and killing. 'Omi' finally went on a date with some girl…only to find out she came here to study, not do anything special. You can bet he is doomed now. Anyway, I decided to bring Schwarz in this after all! I think it'll be fun screwing up Schuldig's mind for a change, don't you? (I'm going with the German spelling because I know all the German readers will complain if I don't.) He'll be getting into the mind of the wrong kitten!)

Schu: Yay! You decided you want to screw me after all!

Me (grossed out): Not in that way.

Farf: It would hurt God…a lot.

Me (exasperated): We are not hurting God and I am not screwing Schu…in that sense!

Schu: Oh. Then can I screw Brad instead?

Brad (offstage): What?

Schu: Nothing, sweetheart!

Me: Okay, okay, I better stop this! Let's get to the fic.

First thank the readers: fei (yes, I have an image of Duo Maxwell Aya from Gluhen swinging his katana around like a nutcase), Keeshe Kaldaka (no, I'm not mad that you left a short review), kamibukurosama (all mp3s? I'm jealous! And that one part was supposed to confuse you), lorien, CherubKatan, siberian, White Rose, neptican, someone who refused to leave a name, Ayako (Mwuhahahahaha! Genki darts of doom!), asami (Koyasu Takehito looks fine but he needs a dentist! Those teeth make me want to run away screaming!), F. Yuki (I love the Aya pic!), Kageri, and Ryu-chan (Thanks for giving me the site).

Now to the fic…

* * *

The next day bought nothing but rain. It felt like the sky was broken and the water kept pouring through a hole pierced in it. Some lightning flashed and some thunder rolled but it wasn't going to keep the men of Weiss from going about their normal routine at Koneko. 'Aya', 'Yohji' and 'Ken' were already downstairs, enjoying tea and watching as the rain kept on falling down. None of the schoolgirls were here yet either but the four men knew that not even a tornado would keep them from getting a glimpse of the "cute florists" who worked here.

"Where's Omi…or Yohji?" 'Aya' asked. Day two and he still was not used to the fact everyone had switched bodies.

'Ken' looked down at his teacup. "He was up all night. Maybe he realized that I have exam tomorrow and he decided cram for it."

"Yohji? Cramming for an exam?" 'Aya' almost burst out laughing at the thought of playboy Yohji burying his nose in a pile of books and stressing out over an exam. "But what if he doesn't know about your exam?"

Before 'Ken' could answer, 'Omi' came down to the shop. His hair was still messed up, his clothes weren't pressed down, and he had the most pissed off look on his face. He pointed an accusing finger at 'Ken'.

"You!" He shot a death glare at him, something more associated with the real Aya.

'Ken' looked nonchalant. "Yeah, me. What's wrong?"

'Omi' did not calm down as he continued pouring out his fury. "You never told me you have a test tomorrow!"

"I didn't? Must have slipped my mind." 'Ken' said, not caring that 'Omi' (or himself) was going to jump him soon.

"You made me look like a jackass, chibi! Last night, when that girl came over, she told me about the study date and was really upset when she saw that I had no idea about the exam! You ruined my date!"

'Ken' twitched. This time he was the one who was angry. "Date? You bought a girl into *my* bedroom last night?"

'Omi' realized his mistake and put a hand over his mouth. "Oops."

"You bought a girl into my bedroom last night." 'Ken' went on in a quiet voice, getting out of his chair and going over to 'Omi', who was starting to cower in fear. "You smoke when I tell you not to. You insult my weapons and my legs, having the nerve to call them 'genki darts of doom' and 'stubby' respectively."

"Wha…what do you want me to do?" 'Omi' gulped.

Ken smiled. "I suggest you use my stubby legs to run because when I catch you…"

'Omi' bolted off right away. "You can't do this to me! And besides, you're inflicting harm on yourself! This is your body! If you kill me, you won't have anything to switch back into!"

"No but I will be rid of you!" 'Ken' snapped and the pursuit began. He chased after 'Omi' as 'Aya' and 'Yohji' watched them run upstairs. They could hear footsteps running upstairs along with screaming.

"Let's make a bet. If Omi kills Yohji, you're taking me out and paying for everything. If he doesn't, I am." 'Aya' suggested.

"Fine with me." 'Yohji' shrugged. "You always lose bets."

"Not *always*. Just the last three times we ever bet on anything."

"We've only bet on something three times and you lost all three times." 'Yohji' pointed out, sipping his tea. 'Aya' frowned. Okay, his lover had a point. He decided to go ahead and change the subject.

"Poor Yohji. Omi put a lot of restrictions on him." 'Aya' started up a new conversation. "I mean, no smoking, no dating…it's the things Yohji can't live without. I guess he thought he could get away with smoking in your car…"

"Speaking of which, we still have that matter of you taking out my car without telling me!" 'Yohji' snapped.

'Aya' gulped. He knew he wouldn't get away so easily. "Oh, that. Well, what do you want to do about it?"

'Yohji' glared at him. "I am not going to do anything about it. *You* are! You're going to pay for that scratch!"

"Don't kill me! It's just a scratch!"

'Yohji' looked down. "I said you would pay for the scratch. I didn't say you were going to die."

"Oh." 'Aya' let out a sigh of relief. So his life was spared but he had a feeling that 'Yohji' had some other worse punishment planned for him. Before he could ask what it was, the door opened.

"Aya-san! Yohji-san! Good morning!" Sakura Tomoe shook her umbrella and closed. "It's raining really badly out there!"

"Hi, Sakura-chan." 'Aya' said warmly. Sakura raised an eyebrow. It was the second time that he had been so friendly to her. The Aya-san she was used to was quiet and kept to himself a lot, a mysterious handsome man. This Aya-san was friendly and sweet…kind of like Ken-san.

"Um…hey there, sugar!" 'Yohji' once again tried to be like the real Yohji. Good thing 'Omi' was being hunted by 'Ken' or he would be completely horrified. 'Aya', himself, was raising an eyebrow.

"So what's a lovely lady like you doing out in the rain?" 'Yohji' went on. Now this was more of an improvement from last time.

Sakura giggled. "I just came to say hi to you all. Where are Ken-san and Omi-san?"

There was a crash from upstairs and another yell. The three of them looked above to see what exactly was going on there. They could hear the voices of 'Omi' and 'Ken' screaming at each other.

"I can't help it if you have skinny chicken legs!"

"Run all you want! I'll find you in the end!"

"Not if I hide in the closet!"

"You're an idiot for giving away your hiding place, you know that?"

"Aw, shit!"

Sakura looked a little frightened as she turned to the other two. "Aya-san? Yohji-san? What are they…"

"Omi destroyed Ken's soccer ball." 'Aya' said quickly. "Ken wants to kill him for that."

"Oh." Sakura nodded.

Somehow, deep inside, she did not buy it. There was something wrong all right. If only she knew what it was…

* * *

"Oh Brad! Bradley, dearest, I have something to tell you!" Schuldig called out in a singsong voice, wandering straight into the room Brad Crawford and Nagi were in. Crawford winced and glared at the German. Go figure. Only Schuldig would have the nerve to call him "Bradley" (not to mention add 'dearest' at the end of his name). Schuldig shifted his grin from Brad to Nagi, shoving his hands into the pockets of his dark green jacket.

"What's the problem now, Schuldig?" Crawford sighed. Nagi smirked in the corner. He wasn't the psychic in the group but he had a good feeling why Schuldig was here.

"I'm bored, Braddy!" Schuldig complained. Crawford's brow knitted. It was another one of Schuldig's horrible names for him. "There's no action in this place. If something doesn't happen soon, you can bet I'm going to join Farfie in that room over there!"

"You're bored. What do you want me to do about it?" Crawford demanded.

"Uh…entertain me?"

Crawford frowned. "Do I look like the circus to you?"

Schuldig gave him a shit-eating grin, and then began to complain again. "It's the people that come and go. I've tried to get into their heads to see what juicy, delicious thoughts are inside. What the hell do I find? Crap. Only thing I hear is blah blah blah blah blah." Schuldig pretended to make his hands take to one another as he tried to explain how boring people were now.

"Oh, I think he likes me. No, I don't think he likes me. Oh, does this dress make me look too fat? Oh, I really think he hates me. I hate myself. I'm too fat. I'm too skinny. I look like a watermelon! I look like that cross-dressing singer! Blah blah freaking blah!" Schuldig sighed and tried to calm himself down. "Honestly, these kinds of thoughts get annoying every now and then. It's like eating the same thing over and over again 'til it finally tastes like shit. So I'm bored! What do I do?"

"I don't know!" Crawford barked. He had predicted that Schuldig would get annoying sometime today and had kept a bottle of aspirin in the drawer for that reason. When Schuldig got bored, it meant he would not leave Brad until something new came along.

"Schuldig has a point." Nagi decided to speak up. "It's too quiet here."

"Ha!" Schuldig looked smug, crossing his arms across his green jacket.

"What can I do?" Crawford let out a sigh. "I haven't predicted anything happening until now when I predicted Schuldig was going to lay his problems on me."

"Oh, c'mon. You know you love it when I do that!" Schuldig smiled.

Crawford ignored him. "Why don't you play with Nagi or something?"

Nagi tried hard to hide his horror. "Oh really, you don't mean that! As much I'd love to…"

"You would?!" Schuldig exclaimed. "Oh, you're nice, Nagi-wagi!"

/I'm going to kill you./ Nagi sent the message telepathically to Schuldig. Oh, how he hated being called "Nagi-wagi".

/I know you hate it, Nagi-wagi. But I'm bored!/

/You've emphasized that point already!/

Crawford sat up. "Huh? That's odd."

"What's odd? You just found out Nagi-wagi's really a girl in disguise?" Schuldig asked.

"Oh, how funny." Nagi said sarcastically.

"No. I got another premonition." Crawford explained. "Looks like you won't stay bored long, Schuldig. We're going to have a fight soon."

"Yay!" Schuldig cheered. "Lots of people tasting like honey, right?"

"You *could* say that." Crawford agreed. Schuldig, however, was too happy to care about anything else. He ran away before Crawford could finish his prediction. Nagi did notice the worried look though.

"It's not a good premonition, is it?" Nagi asked.

"I'm afraid not." Crawford sighed. "It's not just going to be any other fight. It's going to be one of the most interesting ones we've ever had, not to mention one of the most confusing."

"Confusing?"

"You'll see what I mean."

Nagi nodded but he couldn't stop wondering. Crawford didn't get so worried before so why was he worried now? Did this premonition mean they were going to die or something? Or maybe something bad would happen to Schuldig. That's why he didn't tell the whole thing until Schuldig was out of the room. If only Crawford had gone into more details, then maybe Nagi could understand what was wrong.

But until the fight came, he would have to wait like everyone else.


TBC…(ha ha, I remembered!)

* * *

(Wow, short chapter! Yup, Weiss will fight Schwarz pretty soon! Other things to happen: one extra pointless mission, 'Omi' takes the exam, 'Yohji' on another date, 'Aya' and 'Yohji' on a date, 'Ken's' second date with spawn of the devil, 'Omi's' seven dates (provided 'Ken' hasn't disemboweled him yet), and much more! I've finally decided this thing is going to be 12-15 chapters long, 20 at the most. Still confused?! Good, so am I! The next update may take a while to come for I have the last couple of exams on the way. So I don't get bored, I may just watch the Weiss outtakes I have. (Ugh! I still can't get over the fact Ken calls Kase 'Case' in the dub. As in suitcase! Freaky!) Till then, review! No flames please. Keep me inspired! Keep me confused!)

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~You can skip this next part and go straight to the review button. It's just me saying it'll take a while to update this, exams are coming up-_-0.

(The bishounens of Weiss and Schwarz are sitting in Carter's bedroom. Evidently, the author has called a meeting after the chapter is done and the boys have some complaints. When Carter comes in, complaining begins.)

Yohji: I refuse to be in Omi's body anymore!

Ken: I can't kiss Aya because he's in Yohji's body!

Farf: Nobody hurt God so far!

Omi: Yohji ruined my reputation! He made me a pimp!

Schu: x_x

Me: What happened to Schu?

Nagi: His mind is still messed up after having to go through too many different people's thoughts. If he were awake, he'd kill you.

Me (backs away from unconscious Schu): Okay. Anyway, I may have this fic on hold for a few days so you'll have to stay in each other's bodies for awhile.

Yohji, Ken, and Omi: WHAT?!

Aya (death glares): Shi-ne, Carter.

Farf: Yay, delays hurt God!

Brad: I predict hell is going to start raining on you now.

Schu: x_x

Me (holds up hands): Blame school! Exams are coming up! But neither you guys nor the readers will have to wait long, maybe a week. Thanksgiving is also coming up so more updates then as well.

Farf: Yay! Updating this confusing fic will hurt God!

Me: ??? Of course, it will. Now a happier note…I spoke to my grandparents last week! It turns out Ken is pregnant!

(Everyone is quiet and shocked except for Ken who is happy.)

Ken: Yay! We're going to have a child! (Wraps arms around Aya) Isn't this great, love?! We're going to have a baby!

Omi: Um…Ken-kun? You didn't hear the whole thing, did you?

Ken: I'm pregnant, what…(realizes what that means)…wait! That's not possible! (Gets all traumatized)

Aya (holds out katana after seeing what happened to Ken): Carter, shi-ne!

Me: No, no, no! I forgot to mention this…Ken is one of the four pet goats my grandparents keep! Yeah, we have four pet goats that I have secretly named Aya, Ken, Yohji, and Omi^^. They literally come into the house and eat rice and stuff when you call them. Not to mention, Omi gets abused by the other three goats a lot. Aya's the only one who doesn't baa.(It's true, they do have goats! Omi's brown, the other three are black with certain markings to differentiate them…and Aya and Ken hang around with each other a lot~_^)

Everyone: Oh…

Nagi: But why did you name a *female* goat 'Ken'?

Schu (comes out of unconscious state): A feminine name like 'Omi' or 'Nagi' would suit the little female goat much better.

Nagi: *sticks out tongue*: Go back to being unconscious!

Me: I don't know why I named a female goat 'Ken'! I didn't know it was female…(thinks)…of course, it *did* have udders…(Yes, female goats like cows, have udders used to get milk from. This is the useless fact of the day.)

Ken (gets all happy again): Yay! Ken-goat and Aya-goat are going to have a child!

Aya (death glares): I cannot believe you chose to enslave a poor goat and have the nerve to name it after me.

Yohji: Well, technically, it's not named after *you* considering Aya isn't…

Aya (shoots glare at him): Release the goats next time you go or I shall do something drastic.

Me: No! I can't do that! The four goats are lucky. My grandparents are nice to have them. You know what would happen if they sold those poor goats to someone else? You know where they'll take you to get more money? A butcher shop!

Schu (gets image of goat at butcher shop): Yuck! It's not pretty, kittens. Carter's right.

Ken: NOOOOOO!!!!!!! Our baby Aya-chan cannot be taken to a butcher shop!

Aya: You had the nerve of naming the baby without consulting me first?!

Brad (has tuned out everything until now): Listen to you both! You're talking about a goat that doesn't even belong to you!

(Everyone ignores him.)

Ken (all happy): Aya-goat and Ken- goat are having a kid!


Yohji: And the Yohji goat is the sexiest one around!

Omi: The Omi goat does not deserve abuse!

Farf: Nyohohohohohohoho!!!!! Next time when we go visit the grandparents, I'm going to get a duck because ducks hurt God!

Schu: Yeah, get ducks named after us sexy villains, the sexiest one being named Schuldig! Do that next time!

Ken (coming up with names for 'baby' goat): Kumagoro…no, Buddy…no, Sakura…no, Killer…no, I don't like that…

Brad: I predict you'll end this soon, Carter.

Me: Yeah. Okay, that was pointless. But it's true. Ken-goat is pregnant. Anyone got a name? Next update won't be for a while, gomen. But it'll be worth the wait, I promise. R & R.

Ken (arms around a scowling Aya and singing): We're going to have a baby! We're going to have a baby!

Me: Please R & R. No flames. The more review, the more I write^^.