Weiss Kreuz Fan Fiction ❯ Switch ❯ Chapter 15: Confusing Fan Girls, Jane Fonda, and Eavesdropping Hurt God ( Chapter 15 )

[ P - Pre-Teen ]

Switch

Chapter 15: Confusing Fan Girls, Jane Fonda, and Eavesdropping Hurt God

By Carter Tachikawa

Disclaimer: Don't own it, never will. (Sorry, my disclaimer sucks)

Summary: I think I've been through this a million times. You should know it by now.

Pairings: If it hasn't hit you yet, it's a RanKen (Ran x Ken) with slight Brad x Schu. (Nothing to drive you mad). Yes, it's shounen-ai. Don't like, don't read.

Okay, this story is almost done. Two or three more chapters to go. And in case anyone is wondering, yes. Yes, they will switch back. I promise you that. I'm sorry if it spoiled the story for you but I just had to get that out 'cause everyone was asking me the same question.

Recap, recap...Schu lying on Brad's lap (kawaii moment, I know). Schwarz plans to attack Weiss yet again (like all bad guys do). 'Aya' and 'Yohji' were...oh, how shall I explain this...in the mood last night. 'Omi' realized his sex life was in danger should 'Aya' and 'Yohji'...do it. He gets 'Ken' to help him and they spy on the other two. 'Ken' gets a little...hee hee hee. Chocolate, whipped cream, pineapples, nuts...the nuts drive 'Omi' mad. He bursts in and knocks the sundae that 'Aya' and 'Yohji' were making onto the ground. Truth is revealed, 'Ken' gets attacked by whipped cream, and 'Yohji' is plenty pissed that his sundae was destroyed. And this is where the fic will begin.

I've decided to post future scenarios on my livejournal at www.livejournal.com/~coldwriter instead of the other one. So if you wanna check it out, feel free. Though I don't have them up yet...

Thanks to those who reviewed my lemon (on MM.org) and "Second Chance", my weird as hell story over here (FFN) and there (MM.org).

Thank you to all the wonderful, wonderful reviewers: CherubKatan, Little Isa, kami-chan, Midori, fei, Riisha (thanks for all the comments), Seph Lorraine, asami, Fuyukaze-Yuki, Midnight Katana, Ayako (don't worry. I don't blame you if you missed the update), DivineAngel (no, I haven't written to you yet but I will^^), Nekocin (on MM.org), Mikoto the Gnome Girl, Melanie, and a few others who I cannot remember for the life of me. (Gomen, I'll get you in next time)

And now I'll shut up...

* * *

Well, last night hadn't been all that bad. The ice cream sundae mess was cleaned up and 'Aya' promised not to mess with 'Yohji's' body for the remainder of the night. 'Omi' held him to his word but was still a little suspicious. Considering how happy both of them were ('Aya' was humming some romantic song and 'Yohji' was bobbing his head side to side...that was the strangest sight ever), he doubted that they were honest with him.

The next day was already here and, as promised, 'Omi' went hunting for an orange sweater identical to Aya's old one. He went to his favorite store where all the latest fashions were. Naturally, when he asked for that sweater, the salesperson scowled at him. The same thing happened in his other favorite stores. One even gave him the most cynical look on the planet and kept looking at him until he left. Finally, he went to the last store in town and asked for the orange sweater.

"They're not in style anymore." The young lady behind the counter, who had a beautiful face and a nice pair of breasts, told him. 'Omi' grinned as he observed her body. Oh yeah. He liked her right away.

"Surely you've got to have at least one orange sweater in your store." He said smoothly. Time to turn on the Y...'Omi' charms. No woman could resist big eyes and an adorable genki smile. He should use this cuteness to his advantage. His grin broadened as he stared at her with a lost puppy look. She smiled back.

"You work in the Koneko no Sume Ie flower shop, right?" She finally asked.

Bingo. She knew about him already.

"That I do." He nodded. "Wanna stop by the shop later? I'll show you around. We've got roses for sale...which should please a lovely woman such as yourself."

The woman turned bright red. "Maybe later. Now you wanted an orange sweater, right?"

"That's right. It's for...my friend." He said. Well, it was true though Aya probably looked at him as a nuisance, not a friend.

"I think we do have some in that back rack over there." She said, pointing to the corner. 'Omi' followed her and she showed him where they were. Sure enough, there were so many sweaters like the one Aya had. They were in different colors too: blue, red, black, white, gray, green, yellow, pink, purple...and orange.

*/I found it!/* He thought ecstatically, letting out a genki squeal (genki squeals, he figured, were bond to please her too) and pulled that orange sweater out. He had done his job! 'Aya' had to be thankful for all this.

The woman smiled back. "I see you found what you wanted."

"Thanks for the sweater, sweetheart." 'Omi' grinned as the young lady lead him back up front. 'Aya' had told him to search here first because that was where his koi shopped. He had got that little bit of information from 'Yohji' last night (and probably a lot more while he was at it).

"Um...I was wondering if I could...ask you something." The woman's cheeks pinked. 'Omi' turned around and smiled at her. This was it. She was going to ask if he was available. Either that or she would ask him something that would lead to a date later on.

"Yes?" He grinned.

"I was wondering..."

'Omi's' grin grew wider.

"...if your friend Ken is available."

Thud! It was as if she had just slapped him across the face and then slammed him into the ground. He should have known the use of genki charms to woo this woman wouldn't have worked. She was waiting for an answer so he shook his head.

"He's in a committed relationship." He told her and watched as her pretty face darkened with disappointment. Well, he hadn't lied to her.

*/And to think I was starting to like the idea of turning into the chibi.../* 'Omi' sighed as he took the sweater and walked out of the door. If 'Ken's' theory turned out to be true, he might as well kiss his love life goodbye and stay a virgin forever.

* * *

The afternoon bought rain and squealing schoolgirls back into the flower shop. 'Aya' and 'Ken' were greeting them while 'Yohji' chased them around with a mop. He was getting irritated at the fact that none of these girls wiped their feet on the welcoming mat. They tracked mud and water everywhere they stepped. Frankly, he was getting sick of it and he kept telling them to go home if they weren't customers. No one listened as usual.

"We haven't had this many customers in one place before." 'Ken' commented. 'Aya' just smiled and watched 'Yohji' chase the girls out of the store.

"I wonder where Yohji went...I mean, Yohji-kun!" 'Ken stammered. Already, he was leaving -kun off of everyone's name. 'Aya' turned to him, puzzled.

"What's wrong?" He asked. 'Ken' realized that neither 'Aya' nor 'Yohji' knew about his theory. He had been meaning to tell them last night but they were both too tired (or so they claimed) to listen then. He tried to tell them in the morning but 'Omi' told him they were taking a shower (evidently at the same time and in the same place). Then 'Omi' left to do something important and, by the time the other two came out, work had begun. 'Ken' noticed that both 'Yohji' and 'Aya' looked a little...disheveled...but said nothing. 'Yohji's' smile turned to a scowl when he saw the hoard of girls coming in. All chances of telling them what was happening, that they would actually be turning into someone else, were thrown out of the window and into the rain.

"If you're not buying anything, get out!" 'Yohji' snapped, chasing the girls around with the mop and trying to send them back outside. He took a moment to stop in front of the other two. "I do not know what keeps me from killing these stupid girls. They are loud, annoying..."

"Ah ah ah." 'Aya' shook his head. "Yohji is NOT supposed to think of girls that way!"

'Yohji' frowned. "He does now!" Then he lowered his voice. "And *who* said I was Yohji, hmm?"

"Actually..." 'Ken' started to tell the news but was interrupted by Sakura Tomoe.

"Hi, Aya-san!" She greeted him as she came in, tracking more water and mud. 'Aya' just gave her a smile. He was about to say something when 'Omi' came in through the backdoor, dripping wet and dripping with rage. The other three stared at him as he stood there, getting more water on the floor. Then he looked up, his blue eyes flashing angrily.

"You!" 'Omi' pointed an accusing finger at 'Aya'. The loud and vicious sound of 'Omi's' voice made all the girls, Sakura included, stop chatting and start staring at the boys. 'Aya' looked somewhat frightened and confused.

"What about me?" He asked.

"You little son of a..." 'Omi' began.

"Hey, don't swear!" 'Ken' scolded. 'Omi' ignored him and went on. He tried to stay calm as possible.

"I met up with a beautiful girl in a clothing store (insert screams from every schoolgirl here) and I thought I could get a date with her. So put on all my charms and tried every trick in the book, from genki laughter to genki looks. When I tried to ask her out, she told me that she wants to date...to date...him!" He snapped, still pointing at 'Aya'. The girls all gasped. 'Aya' and 'Ken' looked lost. 'Yohji' personally didn't care what was going on.

"Huh?" 'Ken' finally spoke up. "She doesn't want to date m...you?"

"No!" 'Omi' wailed. "She prefers 'Red' over there!"

"My nickname isn't Red!" 'Yohji' snapped.

"I wasn't even talking to you!"

"Yes, you were! You said that your date wants to go out with Aya-k...Aya." 'Ken' said, remembering to throw '-kun' off the name. The girls watched the verbal fight go on. Sakura was starting to look a little hurt. How could *anyone* else want to date Aya-san?

"She does?" 'Aya' asked.

"She wants to date me?" A suddenly interested 'Yohji' asked.

'Omi' scoffed. "No one wants to date you!"

"That's not true!" 'Aya' exclaimed, throwing his arms around 'Yohji'. 'Yohji' just frowned at 'Omi', putting his hands on his hips. The girls all started to whisper and look around, pretending like they were listening to the fight. 'Ken' tried to intervene and keep them from revealing what had happened. He tried to calm everyone down. But stupid 'Omi' was still seeing red...and it wasn't just 'Aya's' hair.

"Why *wouldn't* anyone want to date me?" 'Yohji' suddenly asked. 'Omi' thought about it for a while. He didn't like the way 'Yohji' was glaring at him. The girls, on the other hand, found that look to be quite sexy and began to squeal about how cute 'Yohji-san' was when he looked mad.

"Um, because...because...you're fat!" 'Omi' exclaimed.

This just pissed 'Yohji' off more. "Fat?"

'Aya' was horrified. "You...you think my koi is fat?"

"You guys..." 'Ken' began to say but was cut off by 'Yohji'.

"At least I do workouts with my Jane Fonda tapes every morning. What do you do for exercise, hmm?" 'Yohji' demanded.

*/Aya has Jane Fonda tapes?/* 'Omi' would have laughed if 'Yohji' wasn't giving him a 'I'm going to kill you if you start laughing' look. The girls also found this sexy and even Sakura was smiling. That did explain why 'Yohji-san' had such a nice body. Now Sakura (and everyone else for that matter) wanted to know just what everyone else did to exercise.

"So let me try and understand this." 'Ken' finally got a moment to cut in and interrupt everyone. "This girl Omi likes (one girl let out a sob) decides that she'd rather date me instead. So what's the problem?"

"I don't have a date! That's the problem!" 'Omi' wailed.

"You shouldn't have said that." 'Aya' whispered. 'Yohji' suddenly looked worried and 'Ken' turned pale.

"I'LL DATE YOU, OMI-KUN!" Majority of the girls squealed and nearly attacked 'Omi'. 'Yohji' had to fend them off with the mop. He managed to take out a few but not the whole lot. They glomped 'Omi' and tried to take him outside with them.

"Help me, guys!" He begged as he was carried away.

'Aya' just shook his head. "What a baka."

'Ken' sighed. It looked like they had to save 'Omi' first. Then later, maybe later, he'd get to tell the others about what was going on. Because if they didn't fix this problem, there would be trouble for all of them. There would be A LOT of trouble for all of them.

* * *

"Is your headache gone?" Crawford asked, opening the door without knocking and walking in. Schuldig shook his head and sat up. They were in Schuldig's bedroom where the telepath had been resting. Amazingly enough, Schuldig's room was very clean. Crawford raised his eyebrows, expecting to see dirt or dust bunnies floating around. None of that was there. There was just a bed, a chest for Schuldig's clothes, and a picture of someone on the nightstand. Crawford couldn't make out who it was though. Schuldig followed his gaze before replying to the question.

"It's not as bad but it's still there. I just can't get their voices out of my head." He explained, thinking back to what happened.

This was the first time Weiß came close to defeating them. He hated himself for letting Balinese...or whoever that was... try and kill him. He hated himself for letting his guard down. Metal pain hurt worse than physical pain. Was he getting weaker? Or did something happen to Weiß?

"I've never been this worried before, Brad." Schuldig murmured. He was rubbing his temples for what seemed like the 238th time. "What happened to Weiss? I've tried to figure out from getting in their heads but..."

"Don't try so hard." Crawford suggested. Schuldig had to look up when he heard that. Since when did Brad, the guy with a wooden pole lodged far up his ass, get so concerned about him? Why did he suddenly care that Schuldig was in pain? He didn't worry about Farfarello or Nagi as much. Why him?

In a corner, where neither Crawford nor Schuldig could find him, Nagi was eavesdropping on them. Of course, he hadn't meant to do it. He was actually coming to get some advice from Crawford. But seeing the precog and the telepath in the same room together, talking rather nicely to each other...well, that was highly interesting. Crawford was showing concern about Schuldig's well-being and he wasn't faking it. Nagi lingered around in the corner, eager to see what would result afterwards. His eyes widened when he saw Crawford hold out his hand and help Schuldig up on his feet.

*/The plot thickens/* He thought, watching the two men. That old cliché definitely worked here.

"Brad, I almost died out there." Schuldig said. Once again, Nagi was surprised. He sounded so serious! He didn't think the German had the ability to take things seriously but now he did!

"I know. I won't let them hurt you this time." Crawford promised.

*/Curiouser and curiouser.../* Nagi thought.

*/Stay out of this, Nagi-wagi!/* Schuldig's thoughts suddenly snapped into his head. */I don't know where you are but I know you're watching this. What's happening between Brad and me is.../*

*/Quite fascinating./* Nagi finished off. */I never knew you cared about anyone, Schuldig. You must have a heart after all./*

*/Dream on, Nagi-wagi. I have no feelings for Brad./*

*/You must. You're the only who calls him 'Brad' and gets away with it./*

"Is something wrong?" Crawford asked when Schuldig hadn't said a word. He put his hands on Schuldig's shoulders and pulled him close. Nagi's eyes widened.

"Eavesdropping, aren't we?" A new voice spoke up from behind Nagi. "God prohibits such acts."

Nagi turned around to find one amber eye staring past him and at the scene inside the bedroom. Farfarello licked his knife and joined in the eavesdropping. By now, Crawford had his hands running through Schuldig's orange locks.

"Next time we meet Weiß", He promised, "We will defeat them."

Schuldig nodded but didn't say anything. Crawford kept stroking Schuldig's hair, getting his fingers caught up in it. The telepath just smiled and put his own arms around Crawford's waist. Nagi began to back away. He had seen all he needed to see.

"What's going on?" Farfarello asked, one eye looking at where Crawford and Schuldig were staring at each other, a strange look in both their eyes. He smirked. He was crazy but even he knew what was going on. "I see. That kind of act will have God screaming in agony."

Nagi couldn't help but smile at that comment. "My sentiments exactly."

TBC...

* * *

~And thus ends another chapter. Slowly, this story is winding down. Don't believe me? It's true. And when it'll be done, I'll be happy cause then I can begin something new^_^!

~Next chapter: Second Schwarz battle most likely. I know I said Neko comes back here but I lied...again. Sorry. I've been watching a little too much Gluhen (and I like how Ken looks, I don't care what anyone says. He's wearing this red and salmon colored drawstring, hooded jacket as part of his casual outfit...nice!) and I've been depressed lately. Gomen if this chapter isn't up to par with everything else. Humor is hard to write when you're not happy.

~I ran this through a quick editing job so my eyes may deceive and something may seem wrong. If I'm screwing stuff up again, tell me and I'll fix it.

~Well, I'm done. More Brad x Schu and Ran x Ken moments later. So take the time to review. Just no flames please.

Ja ne!

~Carter-chan