Weiss Kreuz Fan Fiction ❯ The Gossip Club Chronicles ❯ How Hard They Fall ( Chapter 1 )

Author's Disclaimer: This is a work of fanfiction. The opinions and observations as expressed by the characters in this piece of work, should not be construed as opinions and observations shared by the author.

"Ken-Kun!"

Both Omi and Nagi winced at the bellow that their companion gave to catch the attention of the young coach who was standing in the middle of the soccer field. It may have served its purpose to flag the man's attention to their arrival, but at times the lovers did admit to some embarrassment over their mutual love's exuberance.

The brunet had a huge grin on his face as he jogged across the field towards them. Omi frowned a bit to see that his friend appeared to be favouring one leg. He briefly wondered what Ken might have done to injure it, but figured that he'd find out soon enough.

"Hey, Omi, Nagi, Tot. Glad you could make it. I'll be done with this practice shortly. Let me dismiss my students, jump into the showers and I'll be right out again."

"And then we'll have ice cream and cake and--" The blue-haired girl clapped her hands excitedly as she bounced on the balls of her feet.

"Don't we always, Tot?" Ken laughed as he patted her head.

"You seem to be in unusually high spirits." Omi arched an eyebrow at his friend's practically telegraphed excitement, which was a bit of an aberration given that Ken would normally be quite tired after a gruelling practice with his kids.

"Wait till you hear the gossip I have for you this time." Ken barely held down his snort of laughter as he threw them a wink.

Their eyes gleamed in anticipation as their soccer mad friend departed to usher his students to the locker room. Omi did stew a bit over his feelings while they waited. Though he enjoyed the various juicy tales that resulted from the relationships that appeared to be building around his friends, it still rankled him to learn of Schuldig's involvement.

"You are prejudice, Koibito." Nagi nudged him teasingly when he noticed Omi's silence. "He can be a pain in the ass, but Schuldig isn't bad and evil any more than Tot and I are."

Tot gripped Omi's other arm as she looked at her blonde lover in concern. "He can be very nice to me, Omi-kun."

"Yeah..." Omi said that quietly with little conviction. His lovers knew better then to continue on that track. They were quite aware that Omi still blamed Schuldig for his half-sister's death.

In any case, Ken had finally emerged from the locker rooms and waved to catch their attention. The serious mood abruptly shifted in that instance to exuberance as Tot quickly snagged Nagi and Omi's hands and started to drag them in the direction of the nearest ice cream Shoppe.

"Yea! Lets get some ice cream!"

@>;-'-

It didn't take them very long to settle into their favourite booth and be served their usual orders.

"Okay, so give, Ken-kun." Omi said at last as he eyed their friend who was still grinning ear to ear and looking about ready to burst from his news.

"Right, Ken-kun." Tot added thoughtfully around a spoonful of ice cream and cake. "I don't believe I've ever seen you so eager to leave your students for our monthly Gossip Club meetings before."

"Oh, this is a good one, Tot. A Grade 'A' disaster, the likes of which Youji and Schuldig will never lived down." Ken sipped his root beer float, his eyes dancing as he looked over his three companions.

"Wait? Ran-kun is *still* oblivious to their antics?" Nagi shook his head in disbelief. "What's he wearing around them? Blinkers?"

"Like it's that much different to the blatant 'goo-goo' eyes that our fan club pins on us?" Ken rolled his eyes in exasperation at their mutual friend's blindness. "I say that Ran's made such an art of ignoring our fan girls, he's unconsciously lumped our love sick friends' best efforts in the same round bin."

"Their subtle efforts seem to fade into obscurity as compared to the open worship surrounding you, heh?" Omi traced the top of his sundae with his spoon thoughtfully as he turned that idea over in his head. "Ran-kun still thinks they're horsing around?"

"Who knows? The result is he's plain overlooking everything they try." Ken choked a bit in laughter. "And their latest antics reflected ssoooo badly on them."

"Spill it already, Ken-kun." Tot whined as she glared over her rapidly dwindling mountain of ice cream. "What haaapppeeennned?"

"Okay, okay, no need rush me. It happened a couple of days after we last got together..."

@>;-'-

"Ta da ima!"

Ken didn't have to look to know that Youji was rolling his eyes at the announcement the German called to them with his entrance into their living area. Unsaid between them was the reminder that it was Youji who gave Schuldig the keys to their home. The man was such a regular feature in their daily lives now that Youji figured it was easier to let him have his own set of keys.

"You still have that wrong, Schuldig. It's 'tadaima.' You say it faster, not like the English 'ta da.' And really, we only use it when entering our *home*." Youji looked at him pointedly.

"Aww, Yotan? Aren't I family yet." The German pouted at them as he waved a little bag before him.

Ken held back his snort of laughter. The ex-Schwarz knew all too well that the way to Youji's heart was through his stomach. He'd never say 'no' to the freshly baked confectionaries that the man was oft to bring with his visits. Ken thought that it was out right bribery, but it did work.

"So what's happening?" Schuldig looked at the TV as he plopped himself on couch on the other side of Ken.

Youji sighed as he offered him the bucket of freshly popped and buttered popcorn and accepted the bag of donuts. "It's supposed to be Movie Night, we borrowed 'The Matrix' and the released 'Star Wars' series but Ran had to be out on some reconnaissance thing."

Schuldig sighed. "He sometimes has the worse timing, doesn't he?"

"You said it." Ken shrugged as he snagged a handful of popcorn when the bucket was passed in front of him. "We thought we'd have some time to hang out together tonight. We haven't done it in a while, you know?"

"Like we don't know where you usually are *and* who you most often prefer to be with, lover boy?" Schuldig fluttered his eyelids at Ken, giving them a fair imitation of Aya-chan's shy, demur smile.

Youji turned his head and laughed softly as Ken instantly blushed and had a far away look on his face. "Hopeless. They take them away when they're so young and innocent now."

Schuldig patted Ken's head and sighed tragically. "Lost to drinking buddies and comrades everywhere, to a woman, no less."

"Oh stop it!" Ken was blushing furiously now. "You should both be as entangled in love as I am. You wouldn't laugh so hard then."

A rather uncomfortable silence fell over all of them as Ken cringed when he realised what he'd just said. "Really-- you should tell Ran."

"Have we a chance to avoid being 'Shi-ne'd' if we tried?"

"Oh grief, SchuSchu. That is not a proper word in our vocabulary."

"Jump on me for mangling your mother tongue some other time, KenKen. But what else are we supposed to do? If we make any more blatant passes, he'd be across our laps!"

Ken raised an eyebrow at them, giving up with the idea of paying attention to the movie. This conversation was getting too interesting. Besides he was quite aware that with his preoccupation with dating Aya-chan he had missed a good deal of the 'action' taking place under his own roof. "It's *that* bad?"

"Like you didn't see us in action at the club last week?"

Ken's blush had gone rather hot with that question. "Well, I was rather occupied trying to avoid trouble, you know?" He squeaked.

"Oh right." Schuldig gave him that as Youji buried his face in the crook of his arm to stop himself from laughing uproariously. "And Ran was too busy rescuing you to pay any attention to us."

Ken flushed in embarrassment with their teasing.

@>;-'-

"Wait a minute!" Nagi looked at Ken with narrowed eyes. "What club?"

"You didn't tell us about visiting a club when we last met, Ken-kun?" Tot looked at him suspiciously. "Have you been holding out on us?"

Ken looked pained as he regarded their accusing stares. "Er-- can we talk about that later?"

@>;-'-

"The Kitten was quite, quite, quite clueless to us." Schuldig sulked. "And even after watching him interact with the people, we still don't know which way he swings. He blushes equally to overtures from men as well as women."

"You're still not sure?" Ken blinked at him in surprise. "Why don't you just scan him? You do it to us all the time."

"Excuse me? I don't go peeking uninvited. And I value my life, thank you.

"You don't? But--"

"You two tend to project your thoughts, Yotan. The kitten's mind is like a vice. He doesn't let many thoughts slip pass his shields."

"Wait a minute, I thought we found out that he did swing our way?" Youji sat up abruptly in shock.

"How did you decide that?" Ken looked left and right at the two men on either side of him.

"Remember the guy in the glitter mesh shirt?" Youji growled a bit with that recollection. "The one who tried to pick him up."

"Oh, that guy." Ken grinned at *that* memory. To Ken and Youji's surprise, Ran had failed to bestow on this particular 'gentleman' one of his devastating death glares, which were effective in keeping potential suitors from approaching him for most of the night. Instead, he had for a while looked awfully cute and virginal while that man was coming onto him. That moment didn't last for very long though as Youji and Schuldig rather firmly and quickly dissuaded the persistent fellow from disturbing *their* kitten. "Yep. I wasn't the only one who needed rescuing."

"You two thought--? This is too rich! That thought from him was so loud I'm surprised you guys didn't catch it." Schuldig's eyes had widened as he stared at the two men and almost burst out laughing. "Do you know what Ran was thinking after he stared, blushed then refused to look at the guy again? Why he was suddenly looking so shy and demure that night?"

"Spill it, SchuSchu." Youji glared at him in suspicion.

"'Ouch.'"

"'Ouch?'"

"'Ouch.'" Schuldig grinned at them as he held out two fingers about an inch apart in front of Ken's nose. "Trust the kitten to notice the big-assed nipple rings that the guy was sporting under all the glitter."

Ken's eyes went as wide as saucers and he couldn't help the reflex action of moving his hands over the associated body parts. "Ooowww!"

Schuldig was snickering madly with the memory now. "The kitten wasn't interested, he was freaked!"

Youji flushed guiltily.

"What?" Schuldig's eyes widened at Youji in disbelief. "Don't tell me you were considering getting yourself pierced? Do you have any idea how long it'll take to heal a piercing on that part of your body?"

"The way he was blushing and staring, I thought he was fascinated by it." Youji murmured as he sank deeper into his seat in mortification. "I thought it was a hot idea."

Ken whimpered as his hands pressed protectively over the associated parts. "Can we get off the topic? Please?"

@>;-'-

Omi almost gagged on his soda. "A nipple ring? Youji-kun was seriously considering getting a nipple ring?"

Ken winced. "I really don't want to know what he was thinking of to consider it."

"Ooooo." Tot eyes looked rather dreamy.

Nagi blanched. "Oooohhhhh, no. Ddoooon't *you* even suggest it, Tot."

"Awww, how about a belly button piercing then?"

"No." Omi shook his head firmly and pointed towards his left ear cuff. "One earring is sufficient."

"You boys are no fun." She pouted. "How about if I--?"

"No." The two men glared down their blue-haired lover.

@>;-'-

"The truth is-- we're still not sure." Schuldig groaned as he tossed back another handful of popcorn, obligingly switching the conversation back to their 'problem' at hand. "In all my short but rather eventful life, I've never met anyone more asexual than our little kitten."

"And this list of people includes Brad Crawford?" Youji leaned around Ken to look at Schuldig.

"You know I have to defend Braddykin's honour, out of team pride and all." Schuldig raised an eyebrow at the chestnut blonde. "Naw, Crawford isn't dead. He just figures there are better things to do. He's not above hiring female companionship when he feels like it."

"Now *that* will never happen with Ran."

"Has he ever given *anybody* a second glance?"

"Only Sakura-chan and that's 'cause she looks a lot like Aya-chan." Ken frowned in thought. "But he's never treated her as anything more than a substitute little sister."

"Knowing how conservative his thoughts are, he'd probably freak and think we're suggesting incest if we ever bring it up." Youji coughed as he slowly recovered his composure.

"The poor girl was disappointed." Ken sighed sympathetically. "She really wanted Ran to think of her as a possible girlfriend."

"Whose side are you on, KenKen?"

"Which ever way Ran's is leaning towards." Ken eyed the two men firmly. "Ultimately, he's the one who's going to have to choose which gender and who it is he's inclined to, you know?"

"That should go without saying, KenKen. But *which* is it? I mean-- how long have we been at it?" Youji looked exasperated.

"Months." Schuldig grumbled as he chomped on a donut. "You've never spent such a long time pursuing anyone, have you, Yotan?

"Have you?"

"Too true. I mean, what's not to like?" The redhead German started to preen. "Gorgeous bode"

"Check." Youji did likewise. "Hair that a lover would want to tangle their fingers in."

"Check! Dreamy eyes."

"Check! Sparkling wit."

Ken rolled his eyes as the two men continued to posture and name their superior qualities in good humour, though blatant self-worship. "The way you two go on about your attractiveness, I'm surprised you haven't fallen for each other."

It suddenly got very quiet. If Schuldig bothered to catch the thought going through Ken's mind with the silence, he probably would have burst out laughing at Ken's 'Oh, shit.' Instead, a pair of jade green eyes, which stared at him over the brunet's head, arrested his full attention.

"Settle for second best?"

"It sounds awful when you put it that way." Youji scowled at his 'rival'.

"Have you had *any* 'action' at all since we started this dance with the kitten?" Schuldig purred.

"Why do I get a feeling that this will be a bad idea?"

"Live a little, Yotan. I'm sure it'll do us both some good."

Ken was very rapidly getting a feeling that he should get away from the room as fast as his legs could carry him. "Eh? IthinkIforgottocleanmycleats. Excuseme!" He bolted from between them just as Youji's hand reached over to stroke the side of Schuldig's face.

@>;-'-

"Oh. My. God." Omi started to blush furiously. "They just went at it? In the living room?"

"They barely waited for me to run up the stairs and into my room." Ken mock shuddered.

"But--" Tot stared at Ken in confusion. "But who'd be seme."

Omi and Nagi answered simultaneously. "Youji-kun." "Schuldig."

The two youths turned to look at each other in growing horror. "Oh, shit!"

"Exactly." Ken leaned into his hand and laughed softly. "You should have heard the racket they were raising trying to out manoeuvre each other. I had to put on headphones and turn the volume really high to drown them out. But that little struggle for dominance wasn't the worse of it."

Tot clapped a hand over her mouth and squealed in laughter. "Ran-kun walked right into them, didn't he?!"

Ken looked up innocently. "I didn't want to listen to a pair of horny men go at it. It wasn't *my* fault that my headphones also masked the sound of Ran returning from his recon through the roof access too."

"Oh, no!" Nagi collapsed into his arms in laughter. "Let me guess. It was movie night, right? So he thought the sounds coming from downstairs were from the TV?"

"You got it in one." Ken gave them an ear-to-ear grin. "And if I have to hazard an estimate of his acclaimed timing, Ran probably happened upon them just as they overturned the couch.

"I heard a massive 'thump' and came out to check on our adventurous couple in time to catch Ran staring at them rather wide-eyed while they were sprawled over the back of the couch. With most of their clothes strewn about the living room, they left precious little on their bodies. He got quite an eyeful."

"So he literally saw them falling all over each other'?" Omi clutched his stomach as he tried to hold back the guffaws of laughter. "P--p--poor-- Ran-kun must have been mortified."

"Oh, he was, he was." Ken wiped tears of laughter from his eyes at the memory. "I've never seen Ran bolt up the stairs quite that fast. He locked himself in his room and even left his dirty assassin gear unattended where he had dropped it. The poor guy was too embarrassed to leave his room until around noon the next morning. And that was only after I assured him that both Youji and Schuldig weren't in."

"What a disaster." Nagi tried to get himself back under control with deep calming breaths.

"Gotta hand it to Youji and Schuldig though, they tried to make do with the bad situation and went out to find a room." Ken shook his head in amusement. "It would have been really bad form if they carried on in Youji's room after that.

"Of course they left me to take care of Ran's assassin gear and clean up the mess in the living room. But seeing all that made the whole night a gem to remember." Ken winced. "Am still not sure if the bruise on the foot was worth it though."

"Bruise?"

"Foot?" Omi frowned at him. "Is that why you're limping? That must have been some bruise."

"Tell me about it. I got it last week and it's still hurting." He grimaced. "Yeah. Ran was blushing and tiptoeing around those two for the next two weeks. It was kinda sweet actually. He kept trying to helpfully get out of their way." Ken coughed in renewed laughter. "At least we now knew for sure he's not homophobic."

"What does that have to do with your foot?"

"After two weeks of Ran trying to play matchmaker again, I thought Youji and Schuldig had had enough. So I told Ran that they were only experimenting and *weren't* a couple." Ken winced again at the next memory. "Youji stomped on my foot to stop me from spilling the beans that he was their actual target."

"Now that's unfair." Tot frowned at him in outrage.

"Heh, I thought he broke my foot."

"So where does that leave the trio?"

"Back to square one?" Ken shrugged. "Still quietly lusting after the oblivious one?"

"They're going to have to tell him outright one day." Nagi shook his head.

Omi laughed. "Well, until they do, it'll just be more amusement for us, right?"

Ken shook his head. "It's a mean thought, but I half want Ran to remain oblivious of them. I can't imagine how boring life will become without these entertaining episodes."

"Well, until then we'll have plenty of fodder for the Gossip Club." Tot grinned as her eyes sparkled.

I had mentioned to her that I had numerous scenes and bits of detail I hadn't included in the main stories since it would have made them too long. On her encouragement, I'm starting to dig those bits out from my pile of 'used' notes and turn them into anecdotes, since I don't have enough substance to make them stories anyway.

Other little bits that may get written are 'Aya-chan Thinks I am a What?!' and 'The Commissioner and the Simple Florist: The Kiss'. ;) I shall have to see how the muse co-operates. Hope they'll turn out to be fun readable little amusements.