Weiss Kreuz Fan Fiction ❯ The Spaghetti Incident ❯ The Madness Begins ( Chapter 1 )

 

Nagi wandered downstairs still in his pajamas. (Probably because it was three in the morning) He stood staring blankly into the refrigerator for a few moments before sighing heavily and pulling out the leftover plate of spaghetti. It was more or less noodles even though he wasn't especially fond of the red sauce. And at least Farf had cooked it. Though he failed to see how it was possible to mess up something of that nature, somehow Schuldig always seemed to manage it. Schuldig's last attempt at cooking had resulted in three fire trucks and scorch marks all the way up one wall to the ceiling. The cost to repair the smoke damage alone had been astronomical and Nagi was stunned that it hadn't gotten them all tosses out on their collective ears. Afterward, Crawford wouldn't let Schuldig boil water.

 

Speaking of a certain redhead, Nagi thought as Schuldig came staggering through the kitchen door. He was still dressed in club clothes and smelled of cheap perfume and smoke. Nagi wrinkled his nose in distaste as Schuldig stumbled into one of the kitchen chairs and couldn't quite coordinate his movements so ended up sitting on the table. Nagi sighed and shook his head then shoved the plate of spaghetti into the microwave and turned it on.

 

Schuldig was weaving back and forth and looking at him blearily. “Hey, Nagikins,” he said in a sing song voice. “Wanna know who I saw at the club tonight?”

 

Nagi shook his head again and pulled the plate out of the microwave. “Someone who's a bigger he whore than you are?” Nagi suggested, rummaging in the drawer for a clean pair of chopsticks.

 

“Nope!” Schuldig said, flopping backward onto the table giggling drunkenly. “Didn't see Balinese. But I <i>did</i> see your juicy and oh so tender little Bombay. Why don't you just fuck him and get it over with? Oh, thash righ. Little prude that you are.”

 

Nagi glared at him and stuck his nose in the air primly. “I am not a prude. I'm merely more selective in my partners than you are.”

 

“Ha! Prude! Thash smells good. Gimme some,” Schuldig said, grabbing the edge of the plate. “You should be more like me an jus screw him into the mattress.”

 

“The day I'm like you I'll have Farf hack me up and put me in the blender.”

 

“You couldn't handle being me for one day, prude boy!”

 

“You couldn't handle being me for a day, you egomaniacal slut!”

 

“I wish . . .”

 

“I wish . . .”

 

“THAT YOU WERE ME FOR one DAY!!!”

 

Both of them were unexpectedly thrown backward. Nagi hitting the edge of the counter and Schuldig flying off into the middle of the kitchen floor. They looked at one another for a moment in stunned silence after which Schuldig screamed and passed out. Nagi's fingers flexed in front of his eyes and he frowned a little before saying. “Ain't that some freaky shit.”