Weiss Kreuz Fan Fiction ❯ To destroy the one you love ❯ Of Love, Life and Death ( Chapter 13 )

To Destroy the One You Love

Chapter 13: Of Love, Life and Death

Pairing: Yohji/Aya/Yohji; Schuldig/Yohji (one sided)

Rated: Pg13-ish (For swearing mostly. R rated for later chapters)

Warnings: Strongly implied yaoi and a swearing >_>;

Legal stuff: Well... I think it's obvious but I'll state it anyway. I don’t own them! Please don't sue me? I'm poor... seriously...>_>;;

Author notes: A drunk Ran is an amusing Ran. At least to me… lol. Also, the poem mentioned is "AND THOU ART DEAD, AS YOUNG AND FAIR" by: George Gordon (Lord) Byron (1788-1824). The poem was sort of a last minute picking for a poem but I happen to like it well enough and Lord Byron wrote so many beautiful things that I felt it would be fitting to include it in the story.

Thanks to: (see below)

In another time, just before the fall of Esset, everyone in Weiss had been pronounced dead. The papers had been filed, any living families were notified and small grave stones were erected next to each other for anyone who had the mind (or in this case the morbid interest) to visit. No one ever visited. At least not until now.

The "leader" was sitting on the ground, back against the grave marked "Fujimiya Ran" which sat between two other gravestones -one signed "Kodou Yohji" and the other labeled "Hidaka Ken". Incense was burning near by from a visit shortly passed to a neighboring grave and flowers littered the same area as small tokens of love to the deceased who would never see them. However, unlike the person who had left the burning incense and flowers, Ran was not there to pay his respects or mourn the loss he felt...

Ran was there to drink. And swear. Profusely.

Being an assassin was always so much cooler in the movies.

"Why..." The redhead began a rather intoxicated rant to a temporary substitute for Yohji. "Why are you such a bloody bastard all the time? Even when you're "dead" I can't get away from you. If I didn't like you, I'd hate you." No, no one ever said drunken rants had to make sense. Especially when they were being scowled out to a chunk of polished stone.

"This is your fault you know..." The irate assassin mumbled over the top of his vodka bottle. Cheap American vodka went down like water, more so when your taste buds were already dead from consuming several glasses of it earlier.

"I'm not sure how it's your fault but you're just going to have to trust me on this one, it is."

Another swig and the senselessness continued. Rolling his head to the other side to stare in a different direction for a bit, the frown on Fujimiya's face grew heavier.

"And YOU." A snort followed the words which were spat to the ground, "You... you're so... you. Fuck off already Ken, I'm sure some of this is somehow your fault as well."

When the gravestone didn't reply, Ran felt a small surge of satisfaction, "That's what I thought."

The man’s heavy head rolled over the top of his own marker once more so that lavender eyes could grace the lifeless grey stone baring Yohji's name. He hated that stone. It mocked him more than the image of Yohji smiling in the park, cherry blossoms falling to the ground to create such a picturesque... picture. It really was a lovely image, it was just the wrong image for brooding material. Ran wanted to hate Yohji, not think about how gawd damn pretty he was.

Pretty and carefree... beautiful and serious... elegant and...

"A fucking moron." The redhead snorted again and continued his glaring contest with the marker. He REALLY hated that stone.

The only thing he hated more than that stone was himself. However, this shouldn't have been much of a surprise to anyone considering that there wasn't a whole lot else he could have hated more than himself, especially after these recent events. Funny enough though, while he kept up his rant of "I hate you", what he really meant to say was "I'm sorry." For all he knew, Yohji could be bleeding to death in some basement corner... or worse. There were so many things worse than death... none of which he would ever really wish upon a teammate.

Or upon someone he cared for...

Yeah, someone he cared for. He cared for Yohji... the fact was inescapable.

One pale hand clenched tightly around a little black velvet box that had been kept closed since Aya-chan shoved it in his hand. He was afraid to look at it. It was just a ring and a childish fear but it was a strong enough childish fear that the box remained as sealed as the moment it was given to him. He simply couldn't face the loved wrapped inside.. the love meant for him.

Did he really believe his sister when she said that Yohji wanted to propose to him? Reflecting back upon the day Yohji had pleaded to talk to him and the disappointment the blond held when Ran shot him down, he didn't have much of a reason to doubt her.

Perhaps Yohji was a moron but when placed next to Ran, the redhead took the cake for idiocy.

Alcohol never helped with depression. Abyssinian knew this and knew it well, yet the bottle was pressed to his lips again and the bitter liquid fire rushed down his throat to greet the rest of its mate in his stomach. Whoever thought that there was a logical reason behind drinking your sorrows away was dead wrong.

Maybe he was just hoping that he could drink until he passed out like Yohji did, or maybe he was doing it in hopes he would get so drunk that he wouldn't remember anything at all and live a few moments of his life unaffected by anything.

Sadly, the former seemed more likely and so commenced the swearing.

When the uselessness of a recently emptied bottle became to much, the redhead chucked the cursed thing aside and proceeded to form a new staring contest with the little black box in hand. It was taunting him. He was sure of it. So sure that he nearly threw the horrible little thing in the same direction that he had thrown the vodka bottle, only to catch himself mid way through the act and stop.

Pulling the precious object close to his body, he sighed. He knew he must have looked ridiculous, sitting on his own grave drunk off his ass, trying to debate on cherishing his tiny box or throwing it out like yesterday's trash. Ran hated being drunk mostly because Ran hated looking stupid. Maybe this would be a fine lesson on why he had vowed never to touch alcohol... and if it wasn't, the hang over he was going to have tomorrow sure would be.

"I hate you..." He whispered, trying very hard not to let emotion spill everywhere at once, "I hate you so much."

The line between hate and love is a thin and delicate one. Often times when someone says "hate" they mean "love". That moment for Ran was no exception - whether Ran realized that or not is an entirely different story.

At last, with more care than he had ever showed any single object before, trembling hands parted the small lid from the bottom of the box and amethyst eyes glanced at the contents.

It was indeed a ring - a simple single band, silver in appearance with writing on the out side. Something in Ran could appreciate all aspects of that. Gold often looked tacky on his pale skin and Yohji must have noted that... or maybe he just wanted to break away from the idea of getting Ran a piece of gold jewelry that would be worn 24/7. The fact that the ring was simplistic enough to not be a gender-specific ring also suited Ran's tastes. So... Yohji was a clever man after all.

Long and elegant fingers dipped inside the velvet object, pulling the thin band from its container only to find it was also connected to a long strand of silver chain. It would only make sense that Yohji would put it on a necklace. In the world of assassins, wear rings could cause a lot of problems and in the world of florists, wearing rings could cause a lot of questions. Again Ran sighed and continued to kick himself as he inspected the fine inscription written over the outside of the band.

"And Thou art Dead, as Young and Fair"

Ran’s heart of ice slowly began its crumbling ruin as the words rang arduously inside of him. There probably weren't many other people who would have understood what the inscription meant but Ran knew because Yohji wanted him to know. Yohji wanted ONLY him to know.

Something akin to love sank deep into his system and opened a wound that reality burned in like salt.

The engraving was a title from a poem written by his favorite poet, a very touching poem he had nearly memorized once purely from reading it so many times. How.. how could Yohji have possibly known? How could anyone have possibly known him that well?

Aya-chan had been right. Yohji wasn't all those things Ran had vicious called him, he wasn't anything like the things he had called him. He was... he was...

"I hate you!" The redhead suddenly screamed, throwing the box at the older man's grave but keeping the ring close to his chest, "I hate you... so much..." the words were soft and defeated now, too pained with the feeling of heartbreak to be any louder. Life was cruel and Ran knew it better than anyone else did. So he sat there and cried for the first time since his parents were killed and Aya-chan was put into a coma. Once the tears started, they wouldn't stop because the dam had finally been breached, finally been taken apart and painfully torn down like it should have been long ago.

He didn't know what to do anymore. Yohji was gone, maybe even dead at this point, and it was all his fault. The first person he ever fell in love with was first person he ever purposefully betrayed and probably the first person he ever let rot away in some dark place to be forever lost. No...

No, he wasn't going to let it end like that.

Ran's back stiffened and his grip on the ring tightened. When he had ran in to Schuldig the other day, the man was using the presence tense to speak of Yohji. That meant that Yohji was still alive and alive people could be rescued. Now the only problem was figuring out how to rescue him.

"Ran-kun..." Omi's voice nearly caused the "leader" to leap out of skin and suffer from a premature stroke. When had Omi arrived and why hadn't he heard him? Lavender eyes tried to focus on the kid who was removing his helmet, but it was hard. Damn the person who invented alcohol.

"Omi?" He arched an eyebrow, just confirming what he already knew to be true.

"Hai." The kid didn't sound happy. That wasn't good.

"Why are you here?" He cleared his throat, hoping for the best.

"I was looking for you. I... I've been thinking about the things you said at Yohji-kun's wake and... I couldn't help but remember specifically what you said to Aya-chan."

He said a LOT of things to Aya-chan, Omi wasn't exactly helping his inebriated mind think clearly. "What did I say?"

"Well," The boy stepped closer and kept his cerulean eyes pinned on Ran. Oh... no. "I distinctly remember you saying that Yohji-kun looked terrible the night he died. However, I also seem to remember that the day after his death I had asked you if you had seen him. Do you remember what you said?"

"No..." He trailed off weakly.

"Exactly. You said no. Why would you lie about something like that Ran-kun?"

"Well..." Ran couldn't lie when he was sober but he REALLY couldn't lie when he was drunk. He just couldn't think of excuses... he was so fucked.

"And, " Omi went on, pushing an idea that had obviously been building, "you said something else rather interesting. When you were yelling at Aya-chan you kept asking her what would she do differently -if she thought she could bring him back. Those sort of words, Ran-kun, can make a person look awfully guilty of something."

Holy shit.

One of the bigger mistakes he had apparently made in his life was underestimating just HOW intelligent the youngest member of Weiss really was.

"Now, how about you tell me what happened before I call Manx and you can to explain it all to her."

The redhead swallowed and braced himself, for it was in that very moment that one of Ran's most ingenious ideas finally came to light.

TBC

***

Tygrrlyli - YAY! It's good to see you too are alive and still readin the fic. That pleases me a lot ^__^ it also pleases me that you said it was one of your favorites. Sugoi! Many hearts for you! As for turning out chapters... hmm I'm really skittish of the chapter after this one cause I can't post it on FF.net and I worry about what my audience will think bla bla bla. Ah well, I suppose I'll just have to wait and see.

AolaniDathomir - Ah sorry, I'm bad with the cliff hangers ^^;;; But as you perdicted, it's time to check in with the other kitties. We'll get back to Yohji and his sad sad situation in the next chapter >.>;

Kikvxs - As you asked, I delievered more. Enjoy, na? ^_^;

Weisslover27 - Oooh good little reviewers make my heart smile. ^_^ And yeah, Schu isn't an enternal fountain of patience tehehe.

Zelda-13 - More is here! And you're entirely accurate, he's screwed. Or will be soon enough ^^;

MikaSamu - Yeah, Ran has finally learned his lesson and Schu... aww poor Schu. We can't always get the things we want and SchuSchu just needs to learn that. As for the stronger side of Schu appearing, you got it ^^! I'll be back with the next chapter as soon as I can get over my nervousness of it. (spoiler: non-con makes me nervious when I'm the one writing it >.>)

Rosemarykiss - updating as soon as I can :) sorry about the cliffhanger!

Morkael - Yeah, you might start feeling more or less bad for Schu as the story progresses... I'm not sure how I want to play his card just yet. We'll see :D Thanks for sticking with me!