Weiss Kreuz Fan Fiction ❯ To destroy the one you love ❯ Nothing Is What It Seems ( Chapter 19 )

Chapter 19: Nothing is what it seems

Pairing: Yohji/Aya/Yohji; Schuldig/Yohji (one sided)

Rated: Pg13-ish (For swearing mostly)

Warnings: Strongly implied yaoi, non-con, and a swearing >_>;

Legal stuff: Well... I think it's obvious but I'll state it anyway. I don’t own them! Please don't sue me? I'm poor... seriously...>_>;;

Author notes: First of all, I have to say, you all are fabulous for reviewing this story and keeping after me. Honestly, it’s the reviews that keep me going so… a big thank you to you all.

Next, Sorry this took me forever. There were problems with email not working and RL getting the way. No worries though, since the next chapter is done by Nix, it will be out only a day or two after this one. Then after that… who knows how long it’s gonna take. I’m in the middle of changing jobs and I have a shit load of photo shoots and fashions shows to do, so we’ll see what free time I get when I get it. @_@;

Thanks to: (see below)

~*~

"So let me get this straight..."

Manx shifted, crossing her arms as she regarded the boys in front of her with something akin to skepticism, "You fell asleep at the wheel and crashed your car."

"Correct."

"Some ‘Goodly Samaritans’ happened by, picked you up and took you to their neighborhood family-run clinic."

"As far as I know, yes."

"Because you're you, you didn't have an ID upon your person so there was no way for them to contact us and inform us that you were in a coma for the better part of your absence."

The blond nodded again and Manx arched an eyebrow.

"Then why didn't you call us immediately upon awakening and WHY the HELL are all of you looking like you just got back from a mission?!"

The group shrank under the woman's wrath, wisely fearing the barely suppressed rage boiling just under the surface. After Weiss had narrowly escaped being blown ten ways from Sunday, they managed to limp back home where Manx had (not so conveniently) been waiting for them. Apparently she and Birman caught wind of the fact that the flower boys had closed the shop for most of a week with out notifying anyone.

The darker female agent moved to stand next to her lover, openly thinking things over with a cautious eye. "Weiss…" Her nails clicked together in a sign of poignant aggravation, "the next time you decide to bring the dead back to life, tell us ahead of time." Pinning them with a speculative glance for just a little longer, Birman turned to face Manx who was allowing her own anger to subside.

A collective sigh of relief washed over the group when they realized that Birman wasn't going to rat them out or pry much further than she already had. At least for the moment, that is. It was entirely possible that she was just saving it for a later time when they were a little more rested and in better spirits than they looked to be in at that moment. Either way, she was currently the saving grace of them all and none of them were going to forget it any time soon.

  "Yohji, I want you to report to some Kritiker doctors for an examination first thing tomorrow."

Once more, Ran noted that in a rather un-Yohji-like manor, the oldest assassin faltered from the mention of an examination. Odd.

"I'm fine Birman," The playboy laughed a strangely forced laugh, "I just spent a good two weeks in a hospital. If there was anything wrong with me, the clinic would have caught it, don't you think?"

Aya rose to this, "He has a point. Further inspection would be a waste of time and money -completely frivolous."

Manx blinked, "Did you just agree with Kudoh?"

The male redhead frowned but didn't respond to her prompting.

"Nice to know you're all getting along so well." She muttered before moving on, "Kudoh, if there are any signs of anything even slightly wrong, I want you to see a Kritiker doctor immediately, understood?"

The blond flashed his superior one of his more dazzling smiles as he nodded to her arrangement. Anything to get her off his back for the meantime.

"Good." She turned to Birman who began moving towards the metal staircase -climbing the steps with all the grace of a great hunting cat.

Pausing for a brief second at the top, Manx gave a backward glance towards her agents. Or more specifically: turned and looked directly at Balinese.

"Oh, and Yohji?"

"Hai?"

"It's good to have you back."

And then they were gone.

Why were Kritiker women always so abstruse?

~*~

"I hate writing in a journal. The thought of recording my adversities and giving someone else the opportunity to chance across them does not sit well with me. Yet, here I am… doing exactly what I don’t want to be doing in the hopes that writing out my observations will help me understand the situation I’ve inadvertently caused. Or perhaps it’s ‘advertently caused’, depending on how you want to look at it.

You see, I’ve been watching him.

And the more I watch him, the more concerned I become. He says he's fine but his mannerisms do not say the same. He doesn't sleep anymore. He stays up as late and long as he possibly can before he passes out for a few hours then gets up and does it again. Sometimes he just drinks himself into oblivion and while he may say "it's nothing", we're all aware he's lying. You don't do that sort of thing to your body unless something is seriously wrong.

On second thought… perhaps it's not sleep he's avoiding but, rather, his dreams. He as well as any of us knows that if you wear yourself out beyond comprehendible exhaustion... you don't dream. Your body is too tired to dream and you fall straight into a coma-like sleep.

This concerns me for the sheer fact that I have to wonder... what is he dreaming about? Sure he had nightmares before but they never interrupted his sleeping pattern like this does. This is worse. Much, much worse.

I'm pretty sure Omi and Ken have noticed too. Omi didn’t schedule him for any Koneko shifts and Yohji didn't ask about it. Ken didn't push or pry for any information and Yohji hasn’t offered any. Not to him, or Omi, or Manx or... me. No, certainly not me because out of us all, he is avoiding ME the most.

I wonder if he knows it’s my fault.

Something in me doesn't doubt for a minute that Schuldig told him what happened. But then, maybe Schuldig told it all wrong? I can't be sure unless I ask and I can't ask unless I see him and I can't see him unless he stops avoiding me. Which doesn't look like it's going to happen any time soon.

We haven't told Aya-chan yet. None of us are exactly sure how to break the news to her. She went through all that trouble of holding a wake and grieving for the passing of someone she apparently held quite precious to herself, it would be nearly too cruel to tell her it was all for nothing. Though it would probably be just as cruel to let her go on mourning a loss she didn’t need to.

Distantly I wonder if she would ever hold a wake like that for me. If she would so avidly defend me in the face of all those who were trying to tear me down. She's a very brave girl; I don't think any of us gave her enough credit for that.

The only person who ever did was Yohji... and Yohji, in her eyes, is still dead.

We really need to do something about that.

But how exactly does one go about explaining these things to a girl so innocent as she? We could probably use the same lie we told Manx and Birman but she would insist on seeing him at once and I'm pretty sure he's not up to seeing her just yet. Lord only knows what Schuldig did to him and after an encounter with the enemy of THAT nature... I don't think anyone would be up to facing the sweet face of guilelessness.

Besides that, Yohji has a hard time deceiving Aya-chan. He simply can't bring himself to out-right lie to her face and when he does, she sees right through it. My little sister is much more perceptive than most would think –it runs in the family, she’s just like mother.

Which brings us back to the dilemma of how to break the news to her before she finds out first hand. Aya still makes frequent trips to the Koneko and eventually she's bound to run into him. After all, he IS still living here... if you can call what he's doing "living"....

Fuck.

What am I going to do? Things can't go on like this. He's wearing himself into the ground like we never really saved him..

God…Maybe we didn't.

We're the ones keeping him alive and I wonder if that's what he really wants. Perhaps if we had left him with Schuldig, that bastard would have eventually killed him. Freeing him of all those hurtful - no. No, leaving him with Schuldig would, in NO way, have been leaving him in a better situation. I have to convince myself of that before I die from the crushing weight of my own guilt.

I did this to him.

This is entirely my fault…"

Aya stared at the words displayed before him with a bit of dismay lingering in his eyes. He hated feeling culpable, having dealt with enough (self) blame over the death of his parents and his inability to (apparently) do anything right. Yet, in order to evade the impending feeling of guilt meant that he was going to have to quickly absolve the current problem at hand. And that put him back at square one -the very, very, vexatious square one.

He was so screwed.

Aya simply wasn't good at facing problems by himself, but… it wasn't like he could ask the others for help. Omi was ready to kill him if he even so much as looked at the chibi and Ken was (thankfully) still as "in the dark" as Manx and Birman were. Aya-chan was out of the question and Yohji... well…

Mayhap the only thing left for him to do was bite the bullet and face the music. Head on.

And that's how he ended up in front of Yohji's door, nervously willing himself to knock on it while half praying the man had gone out for the night.

"Who is it?" Apparently Lady Luck still held him in bitter disregard.

"Me." The younger assassin answered smoothly, forcing himself to keep a normal tone, which was only greeted by a long stretch of silence.

"Please go away Aya, I don't feel like company right now." Man, he sounded like shit.

"You haven't eaten today, you need to eat something." Let it not be said that a Fujimiya couldn't plan ahead. Having predicted Yohji would be suspicious of Aya wanting to talk to him, the redhead went through the effort of making soup and brining it up as an excuse to see him.

"I'm not hungry." Unfortunately Balinese was intent on thwarting his plans and keeping him locked out of the room in spite of the circumstances.

"That's not the point, you have to eat."

"Leave it by my door, I'll get it later."

And Aya scowled a little deeper, reaching the limit of his patience. He was never very good at dealing with people but he was even less good at dealing with people who were being particularly obstinate.

"Stop avoiding me and open the fucking door, Kudoh, or I will break it down myself."

Something heavy hit the ground inside the room, and for a second Aya regretted using his more commanding tone of voice. However he was sick of playing games and couldn't force himself to dance around people in fear of crushing their toes. He was blunt and to the point, that's simply the way he was.

Another silent minute passed and Abyssinian was just about ready to start pounding in the thin wooden barrier when said door finally cracked opened. The white assassin sharply inhaled and carefully schooled his face into a perfectly blank _expression.

Oh fucking hell.

The blond was a mess -a complete and utter mess. How he managed to let himself go so badly in the matter of a couple of days was really beyond Aya.

Taking in another deep breath to steel himself into his resolve, the younger of the two barged his way into the room -all but ignoring the protests his teammate may have had. Carefully the redhead placed Yohji’s soup upon the nightstand next to the bed then quickly turned to survey the older man’s room. Various books and movies were strewn about the floor, the bed was torn apart, pillows were crumbled into a corner while miscellaneous other objects lay broken in pieces upon the floor (including a large vase that was probably the "thud" heard earlier). For all intents and purposes, the room was in total disarray.

Yohji was not a messy person.

Aya knew this because the discovery had come as something of a great shock to the "leader" when he found that, despite his teammate’s lazy and carefree attitude towards life, Yohji was a surprisingly neat individual. His room was always clean with the exception of a beer can or two dispersed about the open space and a few spilt ashes from a night of bingeing.

So, to see the playboy’s room in such a chaotic state was a little... unsettling.

"I'll eat the soup, you can go now." Balinese urged, taking on a casual stance by the door with annoyance lacing his every word. It was all faked and Aya knew it.

"No. I'm not going until I see you eat it." The other arched an eyebrow and the smaller man was forced to find more words in which to explain himself with. "You haven't been eating. Omi and Ken are concerned."

Yohji merely frowned and shifted in his unusually baggy clothes, absently rubbing has lips as if he longed for a cigarette. He had run out of smokes a day ago and was just being too stubborn to go out and get more. Another sign that things weren’t as they should be.

"So?"

Aya gave him "a look" and Yohji shifted again. "You have to eat. Starving yourself would be unproductive."

"Says you."

Lavender eyes squinted at the lanky vision of a person before them.

"Come again?"

"Go away Aya. I'm seriously not feeling well today and I really don't want to see any one."

"Maybe you would feel better if you'd eat something."

"Why the fuck do you care if I eat or not?" The blond erupted at last, obviously running low on his own supply of patience.

Taken back a bit by the outburst, Aya glanced to the ground and touched the necklace under his shirt -striving to contain the short fuse, which was trying its damnedest to surface.

"You're a valuable asset to Weiss." He tried again, hands shaking a little with his visible attempt to keep in check. "Suicide is not acceptable."

"Valuable asset?" Aya didn't like the tone in Yohji's voice but he liked the look in the man's eyes even less. "Is that all I am? An expensive piece of property that needs tended to when broken?"

"I didn't say that."

"But you might as well have."

"Kodou--"

"Get out."

"You're being irrational." The ice in Fujimiya's eyes apparently did nothing to cool the fire in Yohji's for the man suddenly stalked forward and began physically forcing his teammate out of his room.

"I said, GET OUT!"

"Balinese!" Abyssinian snapped, turning to grab his teammate's wrist and spin them both into the wall -effectively pinning the older man in place with his hands. "Listen to me! You can't just-" and then he stopped.

Ice trickled down into the pit of Aya's stomach, which twisted upon itself when he saw the undeniably frantic fear reflecting in those jade eyes watching him. Yohji was... terrified. It didn't make sense. Yohji wasn't afraid of anyone... the man spent too long as a killer and saw too much to show fear to an enemy, let alone a teammate. Then again, since the abduction... Balinese had been acting completely out of place.

Lavender eyes narrowed ever so slightly as they graced over his teammate’s body. Around the wrist he was holding there were healing circular lacerations and what could only be assumed as rope burns. Bruising of the jaw line where he had probably been hit and dark clusters of other various shaped bruises littering the neck -a fine indication of what looked to be finger prints and... bit marks. The baggy clothing hid all the other possible abnormalities, making Aya's fingers twitch with the need to pull off said clothing and see what damage lay beneath.

A pale hand moved through the darkened light to touch the edge of a long shirt, "What did he do to you?" The words came out before Aya could stop them and Yohji's entire body went ridged. His eyes turned dark and something undetectable seethed just below his expression of calm.

"Get. Off." His words promised death and Aya knew very well that Balinese wasn't joking. So the smaller man let go and allowed himself to be shoved away as he watched his teammate shrink deeper into the room. This wasn't right. God this wasn't right!

"Yohji... He-" Why were the words so hard to form?

"Please... just go away."

And the redhead complied, speechless and at a loss of what to do.

Apparently Schuldig hadn't been lying after all.

This was worse than expected.

TBC

Zelda-13 - Lol I can understand and relate about liking most of the stories. For some awesome reason, Weiss seems to attract either really GOOD writers or really BAD writers. Rare will there be a mediocre (except in my case lol). If you get around to posting a story, I'll try to find the time to read it :D! Since you've been so kind to review my story time and time again.

PinkWhirlWind - You know you rock, right? XD

Schmetterling - I'll try ^_^! Thanks for reviewing!

Moimoi-chan - Haha... ano... JUST because you said so, I'm updating today. I was procrastinating but then I got your review and was like "Oh yeah... I should probably get to that now." So, here it is! And the next chapter will follow in a couple of days. I hope you enjoy :D!

Uber_bishy_yotan - First off, nice name. Second, it's super cool to hear you're in awe of this fic :D!!! I'm glad you enjoy it and I really hope you'll like what's left to come.

Shadowgirl1- I'm really pleased to hear you're impressed with it and that you like the way the characters are portrayed. This story has taken me forever to work on so positive feedback is simply wonderful. As for getting more, no problem! More is on the way :D! Please keep reading?

LoveyouHateyou - Omg you reviewed me XD!!! Funny huh? Well, I wasn't exactly aiming for funny (save a part or two) but glad to see you like it all the same. And I agree, it's nice to see people giving the assassins more credit and depth than they usually do -which is why I enjoy your work a lot. So, I'll keep up with mine if you keep up with yours, ne?