Weiss Kreuz Fan Fiction ❯ Traumatized ❯ Chapter Two ( Chapter 2 )

Disclaimer: I don't own Weiß Kreuz. It all belongs to Project Weiß. I just use them to train my writing skills and to amuse others.

Author's Note: Got the checked version back. Many thanks to Sardius, who had the patience to correct it all, though she said there weren't many mistakes. I'm getting better! ^_^

I hope you like it and thanks again for the many reviews. Didn't expect so many of them… Oo At least it encourages me to continue writing.

Okay, enough talking. On to the fic.

Warnings: Alternate Universe, Yaoi and vicious language.

Summary: Aya has been sexually abused as a little boy. It has left him shy and uneasy among other people. When Yohji tries to make clear that he likes - and possibly even loves - Aya, the redheaded assassin finally understands what his father has done to him. Will he ever get over his trauma and learn how to love again?

Text written in italics represent Aya's (Ran's) past.

T R A U M A T I Z E D

Chapter Two

"They're all the same, you know. The better they're dressed, and especially businessmen, the worse they behave when they're at home. They have many dark sides the rest of the world doesn't get to see."

Who'd said that? He didn't know, couldn't remember it anymore. The voice, familiar, yet strange, echoed in his head. Whoever had said it, had been right. He knew that. He had known it for a very long time.

His father came home. He was wearing one of those dark blue business suits, carrying a small leather suitcase with him. He could picture his father kissing his mother, hear them laughing and talking. Then he entered the kitchen.

His sister looked up from her drawing and greeted her father cheerfully. His father laughed and played with her long chestnut hair. Then he turned towards him.

A finger stroked his cheek, but he found it far from comforting.

"Tonight," his father whispered, kissing him softly. He flinched inwardly, trying not to show his discomfort and fear.

* * * * * * *

"Aya? Aya, it's me, Yohji." I don't get any answer as I bang on the door. I let my hand fall back and lean against the wall. What am I supposed to do? Aya doesn't want to talk to me or let me in. I don't know what has happened. He got scared, all right, but of what? I just don't understand it.

I wonder if I should try it one more time, but I know how Aya is. He's not going to let me in until he wants to. And he clearly doesn't want that right now. I'd better go, if I don't want a katana through my heart.

I sigh and straighten my back. "Goodnight, Aya," I say to the closed door. As expected, I don't get an answer back. I shrug and walk away. There's nothing I can do unless he starts talking to me. Besides, it's getting late. I've got a nice, warm bed waiting for me. Perhaps I should consider leaving the window open. It's pretty warm after all.

I stop before the balcony doors. A soft breeze plays with the curtains, touching my skin. It's a bit too nice outside to go to bed. I pick up the cigarette dropped by Aya just a few minutes ago. Aya and smoking… Never thought of that before. It somehow doesn't really fit. Like Aya and drinking. He's just not the guy to drink or to smoke.

The cigarette is still burning. Absently, I crush the end against the wall while my mind wanders off. What has scared Aya? What's he so afraid of?

Thinking of it, I come to realise I don't even know Aya at all. I mean… What does he like? How did he end up in a life like this? No one becomes an assassin freely. Surely he must've had other plans before he had come to Weiß.

I know some things of Ken's past, like he has been a professional soccer player, but that he was kicked out of it, because there were some suspicions he had taken drugs or so. I don't really know it, but that's what he has told us.

Omi didn't know his own past as well, until he found out he was a Takatori, and kidnapped when he was still a little kid. Like I also know he still has nightmares from the abduction.

But Aya's past is one big mystery. I wonder if even Kritiker knows where he comes from and what he has done back then. Strange, how you can live with someone for two years without really getting to know him…

I examine the smouldering remnants of the cigarette. "Aya…" It sounds very natural, yet strange. As if it's not his real name… As if he even tries to hide that…

"Aya… Who are you? What are you afraid of? What made you run away?" Was it the smoke? The drink? Me??? Is he afraid I can figure out his past, like I can read someone's behaviour just by the way he walks?

I crumple the cigarette, then throw it away, watching it flying through the darkness. I let the can of beer follow the cigarette, simply not caring how much noise it makes when it crashes into onto the ground.

"Aya…"

Let me help you…

* * * * * * *

The next morning's like every other morning, except that I don't have a hangover and that Aya avoids me even more than usual. Omi and Ken don't notice it, or they do, but they assume we've had a fight last night. It's not unusual Aya gets angry with me and starts to ignore me completely. Only I know what has happened last night. And I don't understand it.

Omi goes to school, leaving the house in a hurry. Ken quickly rushes after him, with some sandwiches in Omi's lunchbox. I usually miss those things, since I have a habit of getting up late. Seeing Ken standing there, all busy like, I almost burst out laughing. I probably shouldn't say this, but Ken does look like a mother hen sometimes.

"I just wish he didn't forget his lunchbox for a change," Ken complains as he enters the kitchen again. "Omi always forgets his lunchbox. If he just didn't have this weird habit of his to be present at school at eight o'clock sharp, he could take care of himself."

"Then don't go after him," I say, shrugging indifferently. "Omi will learn to take his lunchbox with him after he has grown very hungry during the school day several times."

"Yeah, I know. It's just that I can't bear the thought of him being completely ravenous at school," Ken replies. "Besides, you know he'll pillage the kitchen afterwards. It's not healthy to do a thing like that."

See what I mean about Ken being a mother?

"You're just like his mom you know. Anyway, who has first shifts?"

"I believe it's your turn, Yohji." Ken looks at the shifts survey, frowning slightly as he tries to decipher Omi's boyish handwriting. "Yeah, that's right. You and Aya. Of course, I have an extra soccer training today."

I almost choke on my coffee. "Me an A-" I exclaim, but quickly break off that sentence, glancing in embarrassment at the redhead. I don't want to make things worse than they already are by giving him the idea I don't want to do first shifts with him.

"Right… Me and Aya… Now I know why I hate having first shifts…" I muttered to myself.

Ken laughs, then heads off to the bathroom, leaving me alone with Aya. The redhead stares blankly through the window. He either hasn't heard me or he doesn't want to hear me. I fervently hope he hasn't heard me. Who can tell what'll happen if he has heard me?

I observe him for several moments, then sigh heavily. If he keeps ignoring me like this, this afternoon can become very interesting.

* * * * * * *

"Aya-kun… Will you please help me?"

"Yohji-kun… Do you know which flowers are the best to give on first dates?"

"Yohji-kun… Where's Ken-kun?"

"Aya-kun… Where's Omi-kun?"

The high-pitched voices shrill in the little shop as all the young schoolgirls try to get the attention of their favourite dream boy. At least a quarter of them are looking for me, another quarter tries to break into Aya's heart. Unsuccessfully, of course. The redhead has never let anyone in and after last night, he's even more withdrawn.

I quietly observe him, how he approaches his customers, how he acts. There's no sign of nervousness, no sign of his fear from last night. Still I've got the feeling there's something strange about him. I can't quite figure out what it is and the young ladies don't really give me the time for it.

"Yohji-kun, where is Omi-kun?"

I look up, straight into the eyes of Ouka-san. She's one of the girls belonging to the other half, desperately searching for the two missing boys. I groan inwardly, while I try to remain friendly, as I reply, "I guess he's still at school. He's always late on Wednesdays." I don't know how many times I've given that answer, I've lost my count. Omi's indeed always late on Wednesdays, since there's an extra hour on Wednesday for those with trouble doing their homework. Not that Omi has problems with his homework - I'm even convinced he wouldn't mind doing homework in his sleep - but the kid likes to help others.

"Oh…" Her face turns into a disappointed look, then brightens up suddenly. "I want you to find the best flowers you have, Yohji-kun."

I blink in surprise. "Whatever for?" I blurt out.

She flushes slightly and smiles shyly at me. "They're gonna be a present… for Omi-kun." It takes me a while to realise what she means. Then I begin to laugh. That little bastard! He has never told me Ouka-san is his girlfriend.

"I'll see what I can find. Wait here," I tell the black-haired girl. Her cheeks have turned even redder and she nods mutely. I stifle a broad grin and walk away, to the back of the shop. The quietness there is overwhelming and I'm tempted to stay there, hiding from all the girls. Rather mournfully, I dismiss the idea. Aya'll get really pissed off when he finds out I'm not helping him in the shop.

Thinking of the redhead makes me look at him as I chew on a fingernail. If only Ken or Omi were here, perhaps then I could figure out what made Aya different from us. It has to do with the way he stands, I'm sure of it. Just… what?

"Yohji-kun!"

I start, looking around in confusion. A gaze at my watch tells me I've just blacked out for more than five minutes and Ouka-san doesn't like to wait too long. Damn that Fujimiya! If I just knew what's wrong, I don't have to do this.

"Hai, hai, I'm coming!" I put my thoughts of Aya aside and walk back to Ouka-san, carrying with me a nice flower arrangement for Omi. I snicker softly, really wishing I could see his face when Ouka-san gives him the flowers. In a flash of creativity and mischievousness, I add some nice white roses to it, making it look more like a bridal bouquet than some nice flowers for your boyfriend.

"Present, I presume?" I ask with a straight face. The glare she gives me says enough. I smirk and wrap it nicely up. "There you go. Good luck!" I wink and return my attention to the other customers.

* * * * * * *

It has been busy today. It's always busy when there are only two people standing in the shop. We can hardly manage it when we're all present. With only two people, the job can be nearly qualified as 'impossible'. Thank God it's only one day in the whole month I have shifts with Aya alone. I don't really mind having shifts with him alone, but he always ignores me and once again, there's more work than we can handle. If Ken just didn't have this extra soccer training on the last Wednesday of the month…

Aya cleans the shop, sweeping the floor, as I carry the last pots inside. I close the door, changing the sign to 'closed'. A low rumble from my stomach makes me look at my watch.

"Omi's late, isn't he?" I ask Aya. "I thought school finished at five o'clock and it's nearly half past six now." I don't get much reply from him, but I don't care. "Or would Ouka-san've taken him to some place private? I mean, he has the age now to discover the differences between boys and girls and I'm sure Ouka-san doesn't mind helping him with that."

Ken would've come with some clever remark like "Not everyone's like you, Yohji," and Omi would've probably turned red when he heard my remark and then stiffly reply Ouka-san's just his friend. Aya not. He just stands there, frozen to the ground, the broom still in his hands. Shocked, it seems, as if I was talking about him.

"Aya?"

He shakes his head and starts cleaning the floor again. A strange, yet familiar feeling overwhelms me as I look at Aya. Surrounded by the last rays of sunlight, he looks more like a creature from another world than just a human being. An urge to touch him, to kiss him enters my mind. I shake my head in refusal. It's impossible. Kissing Aya… what am I thinking?

But I can't shake this feeling off. The whole world before me turns into a blurry haze and I find myself wrapping Aya in my arms, kissing him roughly. I try to stop it, but I can't.

Aya pushes me away; his eyes widen in fear, then flees to his room. Still numb and confused from what had just happened, I stand there emotionlessly in the now empty shop, with only one thought running through my mind.

I just did it again… Damn…