Weiss Kreuz Fan Fiction ❯ Unspoken Promises ❯ Chapter 5

Unspoken Promises - Chapter Five

Disclaimer: I don't own Weiss or any aspect of the characters; they just wouldn't leave me alone until I put this story down. This is my own little spin on Weiss Kruez Gluhen and Weiss Side B but does not follow the storyline exactly and may contains spoilers. In addition, this has been influenced by the many wonderful fanfics out there, so please forgive me if anything seems familiar.

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The headaches had been getting progressively worse. Every time he tried to focus on an obscure memory, the pain became intolerable. Most times this happened upon waking. His dreams where filled with images that he was positive were old memories. Reminiscences of a voice calling a name he knew to be his own. Then suddenly he would wake, trying to remember the name, the face, even the voice that uttered the words.

This morning was no different from any other of the last few months as the man jerked awake. Looking over to his dresser, he again stared at the katana that had been clenched in his fist when they found him. He wouldn't part with it. He knew he didn't know how to wield it, but it somehow seemed to be his lifeline. Without it, he was sure he would have died… or gone insane months ago.

The person in bed with him shifted but didn't wake. Getting slowly out of bed, as to not disturb her, he took some pain medication before picking up the katana to go sit in the living room.

The man didn't remember much of anything, mostly just tantalizing glimpses that came and went too quickly to focus on. The images in the dreams were elusive when awake and few had been able to follow him into consciousness.

Sliding his hands over the sheathed sword, he closed his eyes as some vaguely remembered images came to mind. A naked sword slicing. Thin wires wrapped around a throat. Long red hair tangled about two naked bodies. A pair of violet eyes looking up at him. The hair and eyes may very well have belonged to a person called Aya, but he wasn't sure. It was a name, he was told, that he called out frequently in his sleep.

The man got up and returned to the bedroom, as it was now time to get ready for work. He didn't find any joy or satisfaction in his job. Truth be told, he didn't find it in his home life either. Lately he'd been trying to avoid coming home until forced to. It was beginning to strain the relationship between him and his wife, but he didn't know how to fix the rift, or even if he wanted to.

Leaving the apartment on his way to the train station found the man at a crosswalk. Suddenly, a glimpse of the fair hair and bright blue eyes of a person in the car that passed by had him stepping out into the street as if to follow it…. He never saw the truck that hit him.

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Aya sometimes felt as though he were dead. He didn't know why he was still alive, if you could call it that. Physically, he still lived, emotionally, he was dead. He'd been dead for just over a year now. You would have thought that time would have dulled the pain, but it was just as acute as the day Yohji died. He really wished the wires had cut deeper into his neck that day, ending his misery before it had become the devastating anguish his current life was. He would have far preferred his life be ended by the person he loved than to have survived Yohji.

And yes, he was finally able to admit to himself, he loved Yohji. He had always loved him. Aya now admitted that he loved Yohji so deeply that he was unable to even contemplate the thought of being with someone else, much less going through with it. Yohji had been the only person Aya had ever made love with, and if things continued as they were today, would always have that distinction. Not that he hadn't tried to consider otherwise. He had become very close to Ken since he'd joined Aya in England. It was just the thought of being with someone other than Yohji left him feeling empty, instead of raising any type of want or need in him.

Thinking briefly of Ken, he remembered how he'd asked Ken to join him, even after finding those damning files. The man had been in limbo also, just like Aya, with the dissolution of Weiss. But Ken hadn't been ready to give up on Omi just yet, remaining behind as he saw Aya off at the airport.

Several months later, after Ken had been released from an unlawful incarceration, he'd found Aya. When Aya had asked what happen while Ken remained in Tokyo, all he would say was that Takatori Mamoru had survived where Tsukiyono Omi had not and was there a place for Ken here in England?

After a few months on the team, Aya began to notice the hints that Ken dropped here and there, an offer of comfort for each of them. Aya couldn't bring himself to accept what Ken was proposing. Aside from the fact he couldn't face being intimate with another person other than Yohji, he knew that he couldn't give Ken the love and affection he deserved. Hopefully Ken would someday be able to move on and find someone worthy of him who could love him unconditionally as Omi had not.

Once long ago, Aya had come to the realization that he, a murderer, did not deserve happiness. Everyone he had ever loved had been lost to him; his parents, his sister and now finally…Yohji, proving how right he had been.

Aya sometime felt as though he was dead, but corpses didn't cry for the loss of the one they had loved with all their heart in the deepest dark of the night.

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While being escorted into Takatori Mamoru's office, the man behind the desk had a moment to observe the tall blond as he entered and took the proffered seat. The older man looked much better than the last time he'd seen him over a year ago. His hair was back to his normal color and was longer, but not as long as it had been at one time, as befitted a salaryman.

"Thanks for seeing me, Omi."

"It's Mamoru now, Yohji." He chided softly. "Would you like some tea?"

"You'll always be Omi to me kiddo and no thank you, I'm not thirsty." Yohji smiled slightly looking more closely at the person he'd fought beside for several years. The younger blond had changed a lot since that time. Gone was the sweet kid he'd loved like a brother. In his place was a colder, more formal person.

"I'd hoped we'd never meet again, Yohji. What do you want? Why are you here?" As if he didn't know. He never for one moment believed what Aya had told him that time, about Yohji not caring for him. It would have been obvious to a blind person the feelings those two had for each other. I guess it was only from each other that the fact was not apparent.

"Where is he, Omi? Is he still alive?" Yohji wasn't dumb; he knew Omi would know why he was here.

"Why do you want to know? That's all in the past. You have a new life now, away from the dark, why would you want to risk that?"

"I've left that life. It had been eating away at me the past several months even before I regained my memories. I'm not cut out to be a salaryman." Yohji paused for a moment before continuing. "And I never loved Auska, but… she was kind and helped me when I needed it most. I explained to her that I regained my memories and remembered I was already committed to someone else. She took it better than I'd hoped. I have a feeling things hadn't turned out quite the way she had thought they would either."

"Do you need help in dissolving the marriage?" Mamoru offered.

"That would be much appreciated. Not so much for me, but for her. Now Omi, what about Aya?" Then something occurred to Yohji as he rose to his feet. "You knew I was alive, that means Aya knew and …."

Mamoru interrupted him. "No, Yohji, stop. Aya never knew. I knew you had survived the building collapse and made sure you had the opportunity to rebuild your life other than as an assassin. I also knew that the life of an assassin was part of the reason for your breakdown. The other reason was what occurred because of the experimentation done by the Esset agents, Michelle and Tsujii. In an attempt to control you, by first temporarily suppressing and then later attempting to permanently erase your memories, they used you as a guinea pig for these experiments. This was uncovered when we confiscated their files and computers and the documents evaluated. Initially, it seemed to be successful, but should now be deemed a failure since you eventually recovered your memories or you wouldn't be here today."

Taking a sip of tea before he continued Maroru then said, "As for Aya, he was having a hard enough time coping with your "death", but then he accessed the mission reports detailing the experiments." He paused for a moment, smiling ruefully. "They'd been buried deep. But Aya had always been a good a hacker, almost as good as Bombay used to be, and he eventually found them. It seemed he came to the conclusion that he was to blame for your "death". He then cut all ties to Kritiker and went off on his own. He left Japan, where working solo eventually caught up with him."

"Aya's dead?" Yohji had to sit down again as his legs would no longer support him. The pain in his chest a physical thing, so overwhelming was making it difficult to breath.

"Almost." Mamoru observed the reaction before continuing, "From what my sources gathered, he'd been stabbed by someone ordered to eliminate him. Shortly after the stabbing, he came across someone in trouble. Aya helped him escape, wounded though he was, before they were rescued in turn. Long story short, he recovered and later joined an organization similar to Kritiker and now lives in London. Ken followed him some time later and now works with Aya again."

"I need to see him, Omi. Tell me how to find him." Yohji asked again, his eyes pleading.

"Are you sure this is what you want to do? You'll probably get sucked into assassinations again. That's what Aya and Ken still do. Do you really want to go back to that life?" He was giving his one time friend a single last chance to stay away from the life he'd escaped.

"I'm sure, Omi. I love him. My life is nothing without him. I need to let him know, even if he doesn't feel the same way, I have to try." Yohji's face was an open book; there were no secrets in those eyes at all, just a spark of hope. "Besides, I promised to return his katana to him. I can't break that promise."

"I'm sure he feels the same way about you that you feel for him. He would never have taken your "death" so hard if he didn't." Mamoru paused as he typed in something on his computer. "You're going to need money and a new passport. Give me a few days to take care of things. Your previous assets had been frozen, but I will arrange for them to be available again." He then gave Yohji a piercing look. "Yohji, once you leave, I think it would be wise not to return to Japan."

Understanding dawned in Yohji's eyes. If he remained in Japan and didn't work for Kritiker, Yohji was a liability to the organization, Omi in particular. That could not, and would not, be allowed. If he came back to Japan and did not become part of Kritiker again, he would be eliminated. The idea of leaving Japan for good made him little apprehensive, but the thought that he would be reunited with Aya instead calmed him. Looking straight into Mamoru's…no longer Omi's… eyes, he said, "I understand Takatori-san."

With that, Yohji stood and left the office as he began to mourn the loss of a once good friend.

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Aya found himself sitting in his open window just enjoying the early evening. Trying just to blank his mind to his usual dismal thoughts, he just focused on watching the sun set. There was no mission to occupy his mind, so he knew that sooner or later the sad memories would soon encroach on this rare moment of peace.

He sat there long after the sun had set. Feeling weary, even though he wasn't really tired, he rested his head against the window frame and closed his eyes. Becoming lost in his usual thoughts and regrets, he didn't notice the sound right away.

Slowly he became aware of an insistent knocking. He almost decided to ignore the interruption, but found himself uncurling from the window to go answer it. Shock turned to disbelief as he stared at the apparition before him. That's all it could possibly be. He must have finally gone insane were his thoughts as he started to close the door, but a hand prevented it.

It was Yohji's eyes that gazed out from the illusion before him. Aya shook his head in denial that he was really seeing Yohji. His mind was having trouble accepting what his eyes where telling him stood in front of him.

"Aya, aren't you going to invite me in?" Slowly, as if in a dream, Aya stepped back to open the door further and allow Yohji to enter the apartment.

"You're alive. How can that be?" Aya whispered, more to himself than to the person entering his small apartment. Leading them deeper into the room, he gestured to a chair for Yohji to sit in while he literally dropped onto the sofa.

Taking the indicated seat, Yohji started to explain, "I was rescued from the collapsed building after almost two days. They were surprised to find that I was still alive. When I came to, I had no memories. I didn't know who I was. Everything was a blank."

All Aya could do was drink in the vision before him. Yohji looked so good, his hair back to it's normal color and was framing the man's beautiful face. Aya's throat was dry and no words would come out.

"I was clutching this when they found me." Leaning down to grab the package next to the duffle bag he'd brought with him, he handed it to Aya. "I told you I'd find you and return it."

Aya unwrapped his katana and stared at it while he gathered his thoughts. He was alive, Yohji was alive! Looking up to find the blond watching him closely he said, "All this time you have been alive and I didn't know. Where have you been, what have you been doing?"

"Well, after I regained consciousness, I had to undergo a lot of rehab for the injuries I'd sustained. I was in the hospital for a few months and I kind of got close to one of the nurses. Her name was Auska. Guess that touched off something deep inside. After they released me from the hospital, she suggested I move in with her for awhile until I got back on my feet." Yohji looked a little uncomfortable as he continued, "We got married soon after, but it was a mistake. It wasn't working out for either of us, and then I recovered my memories and decided to call it quits. The marriage is being dissolved."

Aya didn't know what to think. Yohji was really here, but gave no indication why he'd tracked Aya down other than to return his katana. Yohji acted as if he was visiting a casual acquaintance, not former lover, so Aya didn't know how to act in turn. All he knew was that he wanted to be held in those arms or hold Yohji in his, but didn't think he could bear to be rejected. This past year held so much pain, he felt as if his heart could not survive the agony of opening it up to Yohji only to be turned down. What if the feelings he felt for Yohji where not returned and Yohji did not love Aya the way that Aya love him. Aya had never thought he was a coward until that moment.

He needed some time alone to think so stalled by asking, "Do you have a place to stay tonight? If not, you can use the sofa. I have to get up early, so I need to get to sleep soon. But you're welcome to spend the night."

Yohji was bewildered. This was not going at all like he imagined it would. To Yohji's mind, Aya was acting very cool, not realizing most of the reason for it was shock, almost as if it hadn't mattered to him that Yohji was still alive. All he could focus on at the moment was the thought that Aya had been the one who had ended their relationship. Maybe what he'd been told was wrong and Aya really didn't care for him the way Yohji cared for Aya. Not exactly willing to completely give up, he decided to stay until he could think this through.

With a forced smile on his lips, Yohji accepted, "Thanks for the offer, Aya. I'll take you up on it. I'm a bit jet-lagged anyway, so an early night would be fine. There is still a lot for us to catch up on, so it would be great to stay and continue tomorrow."

Aya nodded as he went to gather a pillow and blanket from the closet before setting them down on the sofa. He then left Yohji for the safety of his room.

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