Weiss Kreuz Fan Fiction ❯ Watch Me As I Fade Away ❯ Exploring ( Chapter 7 )

Okay. So I'm about to break one of my own rules. I have a 'no excessive Japanese' policy. Well, I broke it. There's some song lyrics as part of a dream, and the song's in Japanese. The translation is at the bottom of the chapter. You can completely ignore them if you wish….

Hm. This chapter's odd.

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No way.

No fucking way.

I heard that wrong.

I -know- I heard that wrong.

Because Yohji did not just say that he hates Omi.

No one can hate Omi. It's one of those laws of physics or something. I'm fairly certain my teacher covered it in science class. Chibis 101. Omi is just not a hate-able person. He's not even unlikable. If he tries really hard he just might be able to pull off mildly irritating. But he can't keep it up. Nope. There is definitely some sort of miscommunication occurring.

Because Yohji and Omi are like that.

I mean inseparable 'like that.' Not that way 'like that' (yeah, I know what you were thinking)….

…er, at least I think I meant that kind of that….

Gee, after all that's happened I'm no longer even sure about that.

Well anyway, they're best buds.

On the rare occasions upon which Omi rises to the status of 'mildly irritating' the source can be traced back to Yohji ninety-eight percent of the time.

I kid, I kid.

One hundred percent of the time.

Yohji is the one person who knows how to unearth lil' Omittchi's evil streak. And he uses that knowledge with glee.

I site the 'park incident.'

Not to mention the 'ramen incident.'

Which was promptly followed by the 'daikon radish incident' (shudder.)

Oh yeah, then there was that time they stole Aya's car and took it all the way to….

Hey, the chibi's got a big evil streak, now that I think of it.

But even evil Omittchi is un-unlikable. And I might add that it's the evil Omittchi that Yohji likes so much. You see where I'm getting at?

It's just not possible for Yohji to dislike Omi.

Right?

But then it was also not possible for Yohji to be a Takatori.
Or for Kase to be alive.
Or for Aya to…to….::cough cough::

Fuck, I'm confused.

* * *

"You can't be serious. You're…you're joking, right?"

"I hate him far too much to joke about." Yohji remarks icily.

"But…how?! The Omi I know worships you! He'll do anything you ask him to! He's even saved your-"

"Now I do believe you're the one who's joking. That heartless little prick would have me thrown out of the house if he could pull it off. Wait, on second thought. He probably wouldn't. I think having me around keeps his self esteem up. He'd be at a bit of a loss if he ever acted on his torments."

"How can that be?!" I thought I had gotten past this whole being shocked thing.

Yohji sighs and rubs his temple tensely. "Okay, I didn't want to lay on the 'pity me' thing too thick, so I left out that part of the story earlier. But I suppose I can fill you in on Marmoru too, if it's that important to you to know."

I just nod to show I'm paying attention.

"For starters, I've got three brothers. Two of them are older than me, and although they're pretty big bastards themselves, they for the most part leave me alone. Don't really feel I'm worth their time, you know? And that suits me just fine. Being ignored is a good thing for me.

But the younger one-Mamoru-he's horrible to me. Downright cruel sometimes. He blames me, you see? He thinks it's my fault dad hates him. Thinks it's just an extension of dad hating me. He has no idea the real reason, so he's worked out that dad must have been so bitter over my existence that he was just disgusted with children in general. No love left for the leftover son, right?

But his reasoning is all flawed. We have a younger sister too; younger than Mamoru. Dad dotes on her. So it's obviously not just his misfortune of being born after me, you see?

I think he's even aware of that, which just makes him hate me more. So he torments me. Always rubbing in my face how 'Japanese' he is, and how I'm nothing more than second class. Never misses a goddamn opportunity to flaunt his superiority. It's appalling.

I never do anything back though. I don't have to. Cause I know. I know why dad hates him, and it would kill him if he found out. Heh, Just the fact I know is good enough revenge for me."

"So why does he?" I ask.

"Well, remember I said that my mom was killed when I was five?"

I nod again.

"Well, Mamoru is exactly five years younger than me. Which had him as a tiny baby when mom died. So he doesn't remember her. Sad, really. No memory at all of his real mom."

"Oh."

"So Mamoru thinks we're only half-brothers, but he's wrong. He's just like me. He was just lucky enough to look more Japanese, so the family kept it secret and raised him as normal. It was easy to do, when he had no memory of his actual mother. Besides, I think it was part of my stepmother's revenge on mom. She got to take Mamoru and raise him as her own. I'm fairly sure that she's responsible for feeding him all that nationalist nonsense over the years."

Wow, what a complicated family. Ugh. Well, I suppose it's easier to accept a not nice Omi though, knowing he's been brainwashed. I guess.

"I don't get it," I ask, "if you hate him so much, why don't you tell him the truth?"

"Ah. Revenge delayed is all the sweeter." Yohji replies, smugly.

"I don't follow."

"Well, you see, he's so fucking proud of his 'great Japanese heritage.' So I think I'm gonna wait a couple of years-till he's had kids-or better yet, grandkids-before I break the news to him. Watch him unknowingly dilute his precious gene pool first." Yohji rubs his hands together maniacally. "Then, after he's responsible for creating a second and third generation of 'second class half-breeds,' then I'll drop the bombshell. Heh heh.

Besides….The rest of the family would be royally pissed off if I told him now. Wouldn't make them look too good. Much, much better to wait."

Well. I have just confirmed that devious plotting is a trait consistent in all Yohji's wherever they may be. Big shock there, though.

"Um…but what if he never has kids?"

"Oh, he'll have kids alright. He won't want to disappoint the family. Besides, it will be another way of proving he's better than me; knowing that I'll never get to have any, and all."

"You're that certain you won't?"

"Who am I kidding? Nobody's gonna be with me unless I paid them. And you can't exactly buy a wife. It's okay though, I've come to terms with it. At least I've got revenge to live for."

My god, this is sad. I don't quite know how to respond to that.

Yohji senses how awkward I feel and changes the subject.

"Ah, don't worry about it. I'm okay. It's gotten late, and I bet you're really tired after all that's happened to you. Why don't we just go to bed now? We can figure out what to do about you in the morning, okay?"

"I suppose you're right. Where should I sleep?" I look around the room…there's not exactly space to set up another bed.

"Right here." Yohji replies, pointing to his futon. "I'll go somewhere else. I'd rather not have the family find out you're here quite yet, if that's okay."

"Oh, but I don't want to take your bed!" I protest, "I can sleep on the floor, I don't mind, really-"

"I don't think so!" Yohji cuts in, "I've never had a guest before, so you're sleeping in the bed and that's that. I have to go clean up, and you better be asleep when I check on you!"

And with that, Yohji pushes me down on the futon before swooping up the empty plate and tea set. He shoots me a quick smile before leaving the room, the screen silently sliding shut behind him.


* * *


This room….it's familiar.

I haven't been here for a long time though. Where is it?

Oh, that's right. This is Kase's house. Er…his parents house. We played here as kids. But aren't his parents dead? I thought it was sold.

It doesn't feel right though. The wallpapers all wrong.

And that noise….

~ arukou arukou ~

A song?

~ watashi wa genki ~

Yes….it's sort of familiar too. But I think the tune's off a little. It's supposed to sound happier, isn't it?

~ aruku no daisuki ~

Definitely. It shouldn't sound so sad.

~ don-don ikou ~

I don't like this at all. Everything feels wrong. Like I'm looking through water.

~ sakamichi tonneru kusappara ~

I remember the carpet being white. Why is it red now? No. It shouldn't be red.

~ ippon bashi ni dekoboko jari michi ~

Oh I see.

~ kumo no su kugutte kudari michi ~

It's not red everywhere. Only where the blood is.

~ mitsubachi ga bun-bun hana batake ~

The blood's coming from somewhere, though. Where?

~ hinata ni tokage hebi wa hirune ~

Ah. The couch. There's a person on the couch.

~ batta ga tonde magari michi ~

Don't they see what a mess they've made?

~ kitsune mo tanuki mo de te oide ~

Kase's parents are going to be angry.

~ tanken-shiyou hayashi no oku made ~

I hope they don't think I did it.

~ tomodachi takusan ureshii na ~

I better tell them to clean it up.

~ tomodachi takusan ureshii na ~

Before they get in trouble.

~ Watashi wa genki ~

Oh, look. It's Aya.

~ Watashi wa genki ~

Hey Aya, you should get up. This isn't our house.

~ Watashi wa genki ~

Aya?

~ Watashi wa genki ~

Stop fooling around, Aya. We'll get in trouble.

~ Watashi wa genki ~

I don't want to get in trouble.

~ genki ~

Aya?

~ genki ~

Why are you ignoring me, Aya? I'm just trying to help you.

~ genki ~

And why are you so cold?

~ genki ~

Snap out of it!

~ daisuke ~

Fine, I'll leave you to get in trouble by your self.

~ daisuke ~

Is that what you want?

~ daisuke ~

I'll count to three. And then I'll leave.

~ daisuke ~

One….

~ daisuke ~

…two….

~ daisuke ~

…thr-oh, come on Aya. You know I don't want to leave you. Please get up.

~ tomodachi takusan

Yohji! Help me take Aya home, okay?

~ tomodachi takusan

Yohji?

~ tomodachi takusan

Yohji, what are you doing?

~ tomodachi takusan

Stop that!

~ tomodachi takusan

Get off of him!

~ tomodachi takusan

Yohji, you're hurting him!

~tomodachi ~

Please?

~ ureshii na ~

Yohji, Yohji, please get off! I don't like what you're doing to Aya.

~ ureshii na ~

I…I just wanted to help. Why won't anyone help?

~ ureshii na ~

Aya…why don't you push him off? Aya?

~ Watashi wa genki! ~

The song is skipping. Would somebody turn off the FUCKING music?! I'm NOT fine!

Silence.

Well, at least someone's listening to me.

Oh, Kase. Did you turn it off?

No, that was you.

Huh? But I didn't….

Oh, Omi! Are you okay? There's blood on your arms.

From your elbows to your wrists. I guess the flowers were too sharp.

They're dangerous, you know?

Only Aya can handle the flowers.

Don't smile like that. I bet it hurts. You should be crying.

I've never seen you smile like that before, Omi.

I don't like it.

What is Kase doing with your arm?

Now there's blood on his hands too. Why does everyone want to get blood on them? Won't someone help me clean this up?

He's writing with the blood. Oh, Kase. Now you're in for it. Your parents will know that was you.

All over the white carpet. And I bet it was just cleaned.

I hate white carpets. They get dirty too fast. Green would be better. Or lavender. A nice, lavender carpet.

That's odd. Why are you writing in katakana?

Foreign words?

Wa?

Wa-n…

Wa-n-yu-go….
Wa-n-yu-go-n-na-ra-ru-n

Wan yu gonna rarun?

rarun?

Ran?

No, not Ran. A foreign word.

learn.

When you gonna learn.

Weird. That sounds familiar.

What does it mean?

Do you know, Kase?

Kase?

Kase.

They're…they're dead. Aren't they?

They're all…dead.

Aya.

Aya's dead.

No.

I. I don't want Aya…

Aya to be…

Kase?

Wrong, Kenken.

What are you doing?

The only one who's dead

Get away from me Kase, I don't want you near me!

Is you

Kase's mouth…suffocating me….

Get off me Kase.

Can't…push him away…

And

..…Every

Thing

.. …Turns

Red.


* * *

I wake up in a cold sweat.

A dream. It was just a fucking dream. I can't stop shaking. It was so real.
I feel dirty. And angry.
I don't like how it ended.
Well, I don't like any of it. But the ending was the worst.
Kase kissed me.
I feel so fucking dirty.

I didn't want to be Kissed.

Not by Kase.

I could stand it from just about anyone but Kase.

Maybe even not mind….

From someone else?

I'm so confused.

I hope I didn't yell out while I was sleeping. Yohji hasn't told anyone I'm here yet. It would be bad for them to find out about me that way. I don't want him to get in trouble. Ick, now that was déjà vu.

I wonder where Yohji went after I fell asleep? I was exhausted. I didn't even hear him check on me.

As my eyes begin to adjust to the dark, I notice a shadowy shape against the wall. A person?

It's Yohji. He's sitting against the wall, with his head bent forward. I guess he's sleeping.

He must have come back in after I fell asleep. I suppose he lied about having somewhere else to go. I just took that for granted that in such a big house…goddamn Takatoris.

His neck is gonna hurt like hell. I'm not going to let him stay like that.

I creep forward and poke him lightly.

"Yohji?"

"Mmmm?" He yawns, "What? You need something?"

"No. I wanted you to take your bed back."

"Don't be stupid. You're my guest."

"More like a burden." I argue. "You're helping me out, I'm the one who owes you. Take it."

"I'll do no such thing." Yohji replies stubbornly, crossing his arms.

"Look, I won't be able to sleep if I'm feeling guilty about causing you to sleep against the wall, so you might as well take it."

"Well then lie there awake," Yohji says, "Because I'm not taking it."

"Well, neither am I." Two can play at this stubborn thing.

"Your loss." Replies Yohji, and settles back against the wall.

I put my head down on the table. But it's really cold in here without the blanket. In five minutes I'm more awake than I was when arguing with Yohji.

I look at the futon.

I look at Yohji.

I look at the soft, warm, inviting futon. Just wasting away with no one to sleep in it….

I look back at Yohji. Poor, chivalrous Yohji, who's gonna have a very sore back in the morning.

Hell, I can compromise.

"Yohji?" I poke him again.

"I said no! Now just go back to bed, okay?"

"Hey, you didn't even listen to what I was going to say!"

"You weren't going to argue?" He asks, stifling another yawn.

"No. I was going to ask if you would be willing to share it."

He looks rather skeptical. "I don't know. It's awfully small."

"It'll work okay," I reassure him. "Otherwise I'm sleeping out here too."

"Fine," he says, "anything to stop arguing."

Rather clumsily, we both stumble back onto the mattress. It takes some scrambling to get us to fit. He wasn't kidding when he said it was small.

It's no matter though. I'll just wait for him to fall asleep, and then get up without disturbing him….



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Anyone recognize the song in Ken's dream? It was the opening to Totoro. Yes, it's precisely due to its inappropriateness that I chose that one. I wanted something childish that would clash with the atmosphere of the dream. Here's the English translation:

Let's walk, let's walk,
I'm fine.
I love to walk,
let's go quickly.
Uphill road, tunnel, meadow,
On a narrow bridge, a bumpy gravel path.
Passing under a spiderweb, a downhill path.
A honeybee buzzes in a field of flowers,
a lizard in the sunshine, a snake takes a midday nap,
a grasshopper leaps, along the curving path.
Foxes and racoon dogs, come out,
Let's go exploring deep into the woods.
I have lots of friends, I'm so happy.
I have lots of friends, I'm so happy.

Here are the specific bits that got repeated over and over:

Watashi wa genki: I'm fine (or could be 'happy' or 'healthy' too)
Daisuke: I love…
Tomodachi takusan: I have lots of friends
Ureshii na: I'm so happy

Ya know, come to think of it, I think that song works rather well, after all. It's about going exploring….and Ken's on quite the trip, isn't he? Exploring…and….mwahaha….

I'll shut up now.