Weiss Kreuz Fan Fiction ❯ Were-something ❯ Were-something ( Chapter 1 )

AU CHALLENGE FIC

(A Snippet Spin-off from Crazy Sunday Mornings)

 

Jacqueline Jeumans, equally (if not more) demented as her twin brother Jacques, could not get over the fact that her dear brother is now to be addressed as her dearly departed brother. Somehow, she had to continue whatever Jacques dedicated his life to, because it all seems grand and besides, after escaping from the mental hospital there's nothing much to do anyway. And so there she was, in her brother's, oh sorry, her late brother's old backwater abandoned laboratory/shed/torture chamber. And so there the boys were again, about to assassin a lunatic of a scientist experimenting with young women leading to, so far, 12 deaths in the self-same backwater abandoned laboratory/shed/torture chamber.

 

“Why the fuck are we here in this godforsaken shit-hole again?” Yohji hissed into the intercom as he swiped at something that had been crawling on his arm, momentarily stopping from crawling on all fours amidst tall green things. The electric buzz came before Omi's voice was heard, in reply to Yohji's oh-so-articulate question. “There's someone trying to copy Jacques Jeumans, and we have to take that person out before experimenting on young women becomes a general trend in Tokyo.” Yohji snickered. “But Bombay-chan, you're actually supposed to experiment with younger women, unless, you know, you swing the other way…” The intercom buzzed again and an annoyed voice came through. “Balinese. Shut.Up.” Somewhere in the jungle of a front lawn, Yohji made a dour face; sure that even Aya can't be that omnipotent.* And once again, Ken was oblivious to whatever the three assassins had been talking about, since he had to do the thankless job of scout duty, and was ready to break into the abandoned laboratory/shed/torture chamber. As if on cue, all four Assassins nodded when Ken reported over the intercom that he was ready to go in, and Yohji and Aya followed as stealthily as shadows.

 

* * * *

 

Morning crept into the unnamed apartment no. 1, Tokyo, Japan and had trouble creeping into a specific room with too thick curtains, and had more trouble trying to wake up a man lost somewhere in between dark blue sheets, eventually giving up the lost cause. Morning found out that if Kudou Yohji was hard to wake up on a normal morning, he is harder still to wake up on this particular one. Tangled in Yohji's sheets (and also in Yohji's wayward limbs) along with the blond was a peacefully slumbering Aya, the two men doing a one-man short rendition of the sculpture of Laocoon**.

 

Give the peaceful, if somehow disconcerting, moment a chance before a redheaded spitfire wakes up and ruins it all.

 

Now is the time for the redheaded spitfire to wake up and ruin it all. But it wasn't instantaneous, mind you, as the earlier sentence was wont to imagine. No, it actually took five minutes before the redheaded spitfire decided he would certainly wake up now, despite mumbled protestations from the voice inside his head and the annoyance of that voiceless thing inside his head, particularly in the hindbrain, who was determined to cling on to the warm fuzzy feeling it got from slumbering in that certain position enveloped by something that the warm fuzzy feeling came from***. He cracked open an eye, quickly shut it again, and then tried to crack it open once more, only slower.

 

His field of vision took a moment to focus, since his right eye had something fleshy in front of it, and his left eye could make out some yellow strands. Hn. It didn't seem right, said Aya, and a while later his other voice (who would've insisted on being called Edouard, but was too sleepy to do so) replied, of course it's not right, you have our eyes wide open while I'm trying to go back to sleep. Aya ignored this, of course, and ventured out a muscle movement, one that involved his far flung hand, and found that it was gently reposed upon some soft skin with a sharp bone underneath. He flexed his fingers a bit, sending his pointer, ring, middle and pinky finger out on scout duty to figure out just where his hand actually was, and the nerve endings sent back to his brain the report that it was on some soft skin with a sharp bone underneath. Gingerly pulling back his hand to his general direction, while at the same time trying to locate his right arm and using it to push his torso up a bit, Aya found himself to be on a bed, with a slumbering Kudou Yohji, trapped in the writhing coils of a dark blue sheet^. Slowly, ever so slowly, Aya's eyes widened, and he recoiled in horror (on slow motion), raising his left hand somewhere near his face, like old-school horror movie heroines. And, in realizing that that hand had been gently reposing upon Yohji's hip (however did that get there?), he looked at it as if it would suddenly bite him.

 

[--Now, to help out the reader on trying to visualize, this was how things were positioned: Yohji was on his back on the far left (to the viewpoint of someone standing in front of the bed), in fact it could be called edge, of the bed, his whole right arm and a portion of his right shoulder hanging in between bed and floor. His head, stretched out to his right, laid on top of an askew pillow, his left shoulder and arm hidden underneath Aya's body. Presumably, because his left hand ends alighted on Aya's left shoulder. His right leg was bent, knee pointing to the ceiling, while most of his left leg was coiled upon by the sheets and Aya's right leg. Right, now onto Aya. We have mentioned that Aya's left hand was gently reposing on Yohji's hip, his right hip to be precise. Aya was lying on his right side, before he woke up, and his face was pushed towards Yohji's, his nose nuzzling Yohji's jaw, right eye facing an ear, lips almost kissing Yohji's neck. His right arm stayed between him and Yohji, hand clutching at the coiled sheet and pressing it towards his chest. His right leg was unceremoniously flung over Yohji's left leg, and Aya's own left leg is nowhere to be seen under the limbs and sheets above it, but presumably it's there, bent slightly. Okay, now the sheets. It wound starting from under Yohji's right foot, wound around Yohji's left leg binding it to Aya's right leg on top of it, wound some more, twisted a bit and ended up going under Aya's hip, emerging over Aya's middle and stretched towards Yohji's, went underneath Yohji's back and ended up clutched by Aya's right hand. There, it looked something like that before a certain redheaded spitfire woke up and ruined it.--]

 

Aya had half the mind to push Yohji off the bed and away from him as quickly as possible, but then the other half of his mind realized that if Yohji went down, Aya would go down with the blond like an unfortunate captain on a sinking ship he really didn't really like to be on in the beginning. He figured this out when he tried getting out of the sheets. If he was going to get out of the impromptu twister game he never remembered playing with the other man, he had to get out of the sheets first. To do this, Aya concluded, he had to wake Yohji up first. And he carried out this plan by hitting Yohji squarely on an unsuspecting naked shoulder and shouting “WAKE UP” with an “ASSHOLE” as an afterthought.

 

And Yohji, though hard to wake up when he wants it to be, certainly responds well to pain, response being a mumbled “OW” and to turn over to his right, and this he really tried to do, only he realized as he half-fell off his own bed (remember, his right side was already over the bed) and half-stayed on it (again, remember, his left arm was somewhere underneath Aya) that this endeavor was physically impossible without a.) ripping of his left shoulder or the more unlikely choice b.) pushing Aya off of him. Again, pain, only sharper and self-inflicted. He quickly turned back on his back, and to alleviate the pain on his left shoulder, turned to the left-- only to meet Aya's indignant-looking collar bone^^. Yohji sighed. Crummy day, having to square with Aya's indignant collar bones first thing in the morning… and even on his own bed, mind you.

 

He tried sitting up to meet Aya head on, well, face on, but having his arm, as mentioned, pinned underneath the resentful weight of the redhead beside him, he resorted to the docile position of being on his back looking up to lightning and thunder (a.k.a. the steely violet orbs that Aya calls his pupils). Docile as it was, at least it wasn't painful… yet. He sighed again and rolled his eyes a bit; definitely a look of being put-upon took hold of his features. Aya's left eye twitched a bit in return, definitely a look of becoming homicidal anytime soon digging in its heels on his features. Yohji's features promptly cleared and settled in a more pleasing, patient, wide-eyed `what-did-I-do-now?' look he has come to mastering whenever Aya was in the vicinity.

 

A low hiss emanated from somewhere, presumably from the redhead's compressed lips, but it somehow sounds like it didn't even really bother to pass through those thin lines, if anything can really pass through them at all. Yohji gulped.

 

“Kudou…”

 

“Lord.”

 

A bit thrown off by the reply, Aya's left hand stopped it's advance towards Yohji's neck, the redhead's face momentarily registered a look of puzzlement. Yohji cleared his throat and smiled, practically beamed and poured and radiated a look of doting understanding in his eyes.

 

“Lord. That's what you called me last night.”

 

“Lor…d…?”

 

“'Course you did love, don't you remember? You were practically shouting it to the world.”

 

“…shouting?...”

 

“Yep… shouted and grunted and pleaded… and by gods can you moan… oh and yes, you purred… (waggles eyebrows and leers)”

 

“…mo…”

 

“But of course, between the both of us love, we know Lord's just short for Lord Yohji God of Incredibly Mind Blowing Sex (insert malicious grin and one salacious wink).”

 

“SE… (choke choke splutter choke blood withdraws from whole face) …se..x…?”

 

At seeing the redhead's reaction Yohji's nostrils flared and he had to bite his tongue from guffawing, but alas, that he did. Loudly, side-aching and teary-eyed guffawed. Rather quick on the uptake Aya recovered, and the room possibly went several degrees colder by his glare alone. It's amazing how Aya managed to haul Yohji to a sitting position and get the blond trapped in a rather menacing arm bar, further agitating the much-abused left shoulder, in the length it took for his eyes to blink. Face near his own right knee, Yohji sensed it more than saw it, as his eyes are actually screwed shut with pain. Now it was the blond's turn to hiss, in his own style, through clenched teeth. He felt something brush by his ear, and heard the low whisper promising more pain to come.

 

“finefinem'sorrynowgetoff!”

 

“WHAT?”

 

“I SAID I'M SORRY YOU DAFT OL….OOoooweeeeoooooo…. I said I'm sorry, sorry oh gods really really sorry!”

 

“Hn. I thought that was what you said.”

 

“Oh man… can't take a joke can you? Mumblemumblegrumble… this is gonna hurt… now how do you suppose I can garrote anyone with a shoulder hurting like this? Mumblemumblemumble…”

 

“WHAT?”

 

“I said dude relax.”

 

Aya let the blond simmer a bit before mixing in an interrogation. It started with a rather curious question.

 

“Are you sure we didn't have sex?”

 

“mumblemumblenotovermydeadbodymumblemumble”