Weiss Kreuz Fan Fiction ❯ Yohji's Bad Day ❯ Bad Day Forgotten ( Chapter 1 )

[ T - Teen: Not suitable for readers under 13 ]

So where was I?

Ah, that's right, Ken.

I am seriously disturbed. I mean, you live with someone for two or three years and you'd think you'd know the guy.

Not that I'd expect to know everything about him.

I mean, like the fact that Ken always wears his stupid red soccer shirt on days when there's a Manchester vs. J-league game. Seriously, always. Or the fact that although he tells everyone his favorite color is green, it is actually, more specifically viridian? Who'd blame me for not noticing that?

But Ken reading ugly dudified porn…now that's big.
How the hell did he manage to slip that one past me?
It's an obvious cry for help.
And as I was the first to discover this, it will be my cause.
Yes, I, Kudoh Yohji, will help cure Ken of his perversion.

Before you get started on me, let me clear something up. I am not homophobic. Far from it. What's bothering me here is not so much the implications that Ken is, erm, gay, but the fact that he's obviously so desperate that he's turning to the nasty sort of specimens portrayed in these questionable publications. I mean, c'mon, I couldn't even tell them apart from a bunch of broads! He's currently spending his precious free time looking at these circus freaks, while simultaneously sharing an apartment with the sexiest man in the country (ahem, that's me.)

Not that I'm like that mind you. But he didn't even ask.

Ken, you wound me.

I'd better find out just how bad this has gotten.

I head downstairs and take note of the fact that I can faintly hear the television running. This is my first clue that Ken is home. Omi, of course, would have been at the computer, and Aya…well Aya doesn't seem to understand the concept of 'entertainment'.

I am so busy running these deductions through my head that I don't watch where I'm going and trip over a soccer ball at the bottom of the stairs.

That is my second clue that Ken is home.

I steady myself and hope I didn't make too much noise. Don't want Ken to think something's amiss.

A peek into the TV room reveals that he is obliviously absorbed in whatever it is he is watching.

And just what the hell is he watching?!

It looks like…the shopping network?

Oh dear god. It's worse than I thought.

I cough to alert him of my presence, which startles him and nearly causes him to overturn the can of CC Lemon he had balanced on his knee. Unfortunately he did overturn the bowl of crackers balanced on the other knee, and in his dive to clean them up succeeds in allowing the CC Lemon to join the crackers on the floor.

I mean to help him clean up, I really do. It's just that I'm too busy trying not to laugh.

I try averting my attention to the TV to keep from laughing.

Currently it's showing a decrepit old blond hag waving around a gold necklace with a pendant on it the size of Okinawa. Cripes. That thing would make Mr. T blush. There's a little Chinese man next to her, who's saying something along the lines of: Our company is the largest gold manufacturer in the world! We are even in the Guinness Book of World Records for making the largest 24 carat solid gold toilet! People pay money just to flush it! Yessiree! That's why no one can match our prices, we--

Ok, so much for that plan. I give up on self restraint and fall on the floor laughing.

Ken scowls.

"Nice to see you too, Yohji."

"Sorry Ken, but what the hell are you watching that crap for?!"

I notice a slight blush.

"No soccer today."

"Aren't there usually cartoons or something on at this time?"

"Just Hamster Club."

"I thought you liked that show.?"

"Repeat."

"Ah."

Hmm…So Ken had gay porn. That's strike one. Caught watching the jewelry hour on HSN; that's strike two. I just need something to drive my theory home…the wheels start turning in my head…

"Hey, Ken?"

"Yeah?"

"Manx came by while everyone was out. She wants us to stake out a club for some drug-runners. You up to it?"

Ken looks a little surprised.

"Er, sure. I guess so."

I cross my fingers hoping he doesn't ask to see the case file. And he doesn't. The ever-trusting Ken.

"When do we have to go?"

"Tonight, if possible."

"Oh, ok."

I stop and survey what he's wearing. It's that dumb green bowling shirt of his. This will not do.

"Ken? Do you have anything you can wear to a club?"

"Um, I thought I'd wear a black v-neck and some jeans or something."

"I don't think so. C'mon, we're going shopping."

I grab his hand and pull him off the floor.

"What?! What's wrong with my clothes?"

I'm already dragging him towards the door…

"They're not manly enough."

"What the hell are you on, Yohji?! You're scaring me."

"Shut up and get in the car."

Doors locked, I now have one very flustered Ken Hidaka at the mercy of my credit card.

And my bad day is all but forgotten.