Witch Hunter Robin Fan Fiction ❯ Miracle ❯ Interlude ( Chapter 9 )

Ok, first off, you're all probably expecting the next chapter in the story…Sorry! I just felt like taking a break from all the tension and emotions of the story and doing a sort of interlude that has nothing to do with anything, really. It's just my attempt at a little relief from everything.

So if you're looking for the serious continuation of the 'Miracle' storyline, then I suggest you skip over this and just wait another week or so for the next chapter.

Enjoy and Merry Christmas!

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Miracle:

Interlude

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Christmas at the STN-J

Yawning loudly, Sakaki sauntered into the STN-J building as he did every other morning. But this morning, something was different. Something brushed his head as he entered the work room and then something else proceeded to hit him in the face.

"What the-?!" he shouted, clawing the green stuffs away from him mouth and eyes. Looking up, he saw Doujima standing on a ladder a few feet away, staring at him. "Sorry about that…" she said, not sounding very sorry at all.

Glancing at the mass of red berries and green leaves in his hands, Sakaki looked back up and saw that the entire ceiling of the room was draped with it. "Doujima?! What the heck?!"

"It's Christmas Eve, and I thought we needed some Christmas decorations--"

"and some holiday spirit," Michael cut in, coming into the room and looking quite annoyed.

Raising an eyebrow, the rookie hunter looked back at the blonde, who shrugged and continued hanging her garland.

"I've been hearing the same things all morning," the hacker explained, sitting down at his computer, which was festooned with sprigs of holly and a hula dancing Santa.

"Nice," came the dry reply as the other boy slumped in a chair, afraid to look at the rest of the room.

Karasuma entered the room next, almost meeting the same fate as her younger partner when another loop of garland slipped free and came swinging down. Ducking it, irritated, the older woman gave the room a once over and sighed. "Doujima…"

"What?!"

"Don't you think the dancing polar bear statues in the corner are a little much?"

"Just how much crap did you cram into this place?!" Sakaki shouted, unable to keep his eyes off the room any longer.

"Three cars full," Michael supplied. "It took her almost an hour just to get all thestuff here."

An identical reaction, with much more shouting and blood vessel bursting, was received from Chief Kosaka when he came to work. "And what is this sitting on my desk?!"

"Sorry!" Doujima called out, almost finished hanging her garland. "But the karaoke Santa just wouldn't fit anywhere else!"

Looking more and more afraid as time went by, Sakaki began edging towards the door, intent of getting out of there before his brains were turned to mush. But before he could escape, Robin and Amon walked into the room at about the same time Zaizen came down from his office.

Cringing and waiting for the outburst to come, the hacker boy nearly died of shock when an almost feminine squeal issued forth from their boss's mouth.

"OH MY GOSH! I JUST LOOVE WHAT YOU'VE DONE WITH THE PLACE!"

Amon's eyes widened in disgust as Zaizen rushed over to Doujima, his eyes reflecting the glow of the millions of Christmas lights strung around the room.

Robin merely smiled, and took her usual place beside Michael, who was busy trying to pry the grass-skirted Santa off of the middle of his monitor screen.

"Oh, and I've set up a table with some Christmas cookies and drinks over there," Doujima called, pointing to a table in the corner by the dancing polar bears.

Immediately Amon rushed over, going straight for the punch bowl. "It's spiked!" Doujima warned, before going back to her discussion of interior design with Zaizen.

Several hours and bowls of punch later, Amon found himself feeling warm and content. He glanced around the office at his co-workers and felt a sense of joy and happiness that he was able to work with them everyday. Staggering to his feet, he somehow managed to stand up on top of a chair and spread his arms wide.

Turning to face him, the other STN-J workers stared as he began to sing the words of a very well-known and touching Christmas carol.

"Grandma got run over by a reindeer!"

Soon the drunk was joined by Michael and then Doujima and Kosaka; Sakaki would have joined their little choir, but for the fact that he was laughing so hard he nearly wet himself. Karasuma was busy stuffing her face full of cookies while no one was looking, and shoving the rest in her coat pockets for later.

Zaizen was complimenting Doujima on her choice of a Christmas dress as they flipped through one of her many fashion magazines and nibbled on red and green crumpets with cranberry jelly.

After the last rousing chorus of "Grandma Got Run Over By a Reindeer", Amon lurched his way down from the chair and over to Karasuma, intent on drinking even more of the punch.

Subsequent to several failed attempts at pouring himself a drink, Amon decided that too much of the delicious drink was going to waste on the floor (and Karasuma's clothes), and he instead dunked his head into the bowl and began inhaling it.

Meanwhile, Michael's latest fascination was the karaoke Santa, sitting unnoticed until now on Kosaka's desk. The man and his assistant were too busy sipping their mint tea and watching a very drunk Amon drown himself in the holiday punch to notice.

All of a sudden, loud, scratchy music blared forth from the cheap doll and Santa began to move from side to side with the beat of the song.

"Please, Daddy, don't get drunk this Christmas…"

"Oh I love this song!" Zaizen exclaimed, jumping up. He joined Michael by the toy and soon began to mimic the jerky dance movements. Howling, the hacker fell to the floor in tears and even Robin cracked a smile and a few soft giggles.

Looking up from his punch, Amon peered out from the curtain of soggy hair in front of his eyes and stared at his boss. Reeling dangerously, he too began to dance…only doing to movements to the Macarena instead.

This time, it was Doujima's turn to howl and she too found herself nearly peeing her pants as she watched the gay man and the drunken man dance to the karaoke Santa.

This is good…Karasuma thought to herself. Now I can take even more cookies without them noticing!

Her cheeks bulging like a chipmunk's, the older woman cleaned off the table, even taking the last can of 'Who Hash'. She then turned to the punch bowl, and finding it empty, she then discovered the red puddle beneath her feet.

A trail of the punch led away from the bowl and out onto the floor, where Amon and Zaizen were finishing the song with a loud HEY! and some ridiculous bows. Karasuma was convinced that Sakaki really had wet himself laughing, until she saw the liquid under him was red, and when followed back to the source, was dripping from Amon's hair.

A loud squeal was heard and everyone whipped around to look at the tree where Robin was standing, holding a package in her hands above her head. "I got a present!" she squealed again, jumping up and down much like a 4-year-old, her blonde pigtails bouncing with every jump.

"Presents?!" Zaizen cried, rushing over.

"Oh, free stuff? Where?" Sakaki followed too.

The group then proceeded to cluster around the bedecked pine tree (which on closer inspection by Michael turned out to be a fake one stolen from the corner convenience store) and sift through the large pile of gifts (most of these were stolen too).

Reeking of sake, Amon tried to unwrap his bright blue box, but was having problems account of his high intoxication level. The electric blue color of the wrapping paper wasn't doing anything to help the situation, either, hurting his already alcohol-fuzzed eyes even worse.

Giggling, Doujima reached over and unwrapped it for him, placing the gift in his hands. Dazedly, the inebriated Hunter held the fuzzy pink and white object up before his eyes and squinted at it. "Issss…" he slurred.

"IT'S LINGERIE?!" Sakaki yelled, tearing the paper off of his own gift. Moments later, he too held up a skimpy, fur trimmed bra, colored a most disgusting shade of canary yellow with pink polka dots.

With a sinking feeling in his stomach, Michael opened his warily, closing his eyes as he reached into the box and yanked out…

A black silk thong.

Karasuma discovered she had a bra much like Sakaki's, only lime green with purple stripes and Robin received a pair of very un-nun-like panties with matching garters.

The only person who really seemed to like their gift was Zaizen, who was ohh-ing and ahh-ing over his matching puce thong and underwire bra.

Doujima was also taking the paper off of a gift, the tag of which read:

To: Me

From: Me

Merry Christmas Me!

She tittered over her own lingerie with Zaizen and the two began comparing fabrics and sizes and companies.

Tossing aside a pair of underwear printed with the Playboy Bunny, Kosaka chugged the last of his tea, not realizing a mischievous Michael had spiked it with the sake used in the punch. As the numbing effects of the alcohol swept over him, he began to bawl like a baby and collapsed onto Robin's shoulder.

The young witch turned from examining her garters and patted the Chief on the top of his bald head.

"I-I've never told anyone this…but I feel I have to get it off my chest…" The tears were streaming down the balding man's face now at an alarmingly fast rate, and Michael, tossing aside his thong, leaned in closer. "Yes, yes…go on!"

The chief's voice dropped to a whisper. "My teddy bear's name is Jinkle Winkles…"

Dumfounded, the teenaged hacker blinked, and glanced up at Robin, who had already lost interest with both the chief and the garters, and was busy lighting the pine and cinnamon scented candles Doujima had scattered around the room.

Not quite sure what to do, the hacker answered back, "Well if it makes you feel any better…I had a teddy bear when I was 3 and her name was Bertha."

"Yous…mil' naame…Berthuh?" Amon slurred, his barely functioning ears picking out bits and pieces of what was said.

"Translation, please?" Karasuma asked distastefully around a mouthful of peanut blossom cookie.

"Michael's middle name is Bertha?!" Doujima shrieked.

Face going white, the hacker whispered, "H-how did you know?"

Choking on her cookies, Karasuma doubled over, turning quite purple in the face. Laughing her head off, Doujima whacked her on the back a few times, telling her between peals of laughter that purple was the wrong color for the season.

After several failed attempts at the Heimlich on Doujima's part, Robin took over surprising them all by both her knowledge of first aid and by her ability to lift the taller woman off the floor with every thrust.

At the looks she was receiving from Michael, she answered, "I lift weights with Nagira every weekend. It really helps."

Sidling away with a nervous look in his eyes, Sakaki ran smack into something warm and fuzzy. "What the-?!" Turning to look, he found himself face-to-face with a pair of large doe-brown eyes and a very wet nose.

"A REINDEER?!" Karasuma yelled, wincing at her sore ribs.

"W-where…how…you…" Sakaki spluttered, now of the receiving end of a very slobbery reindeer kiss.

"Awww, he likes you," Doujima cooed.

The reindeer, whose name happened to be Jelly Bean, promptly left a rather smelly present on the floor.

"Why is there a reindeer in my building?!" Zaizen yelped, leaping up from the floor and cowering behind Kosaka.

"I borrowed him from the zoo! I thought it would be…er…festive!"

"You mean, like how you borrowed all this lingerie?" Michael asked wryly. Glancing over, he found Robin slipping hers surreptitiously into the folds of her long black overcoat. The nuns aren't going to be too happy about that…

Tossing her hair and choosing to ignore the hacker, the blonde girl got up and went over to the reindeer, petting and fussing over him needlessly.

Jelly Bean, however, was enjoying the attention and soon left a nice puddle to go with his other present. "Yellow doesn't match the season," was Zaizen's only comment.

And as the day drew to a close and the members of the STN-J bundled up in their overcoats of varying shades of black and their jackets of pink and turquoise, they took one last look around the room at the remnants of their little holiday party.

The reindeer was gone, having jumped out the window and flown away. ("The cops aren't going to be too happy with that carcass on the sidewalk…" Kosaka had commented.) Karaoke Santa was lying in a heap of wires and reindeer dung on the floor. ("He wouldn't play Jingle Bells!" protested a still drunk Amon.) And the table where the food and drinks had been was completely bare. ("Where's my last can of Who Hash?!" Doujima shrieked.)

Wisely deciding to save the clean up for Michael to do, since he would be there over the holidays, the rest of the crew said goodbye and their 'Merry Christmas!' and left, Sakaki dragging one of the polar bear statues behind him and Robin trailing yards of garland from where she had wrapped them around her pigtails.

Sadly, Michael stood at the window and watched as his co-workers left, Amon tied to the roof of Karasuma's car with some of Robin's garland, as he was still too drunk to drive himself home. Sighing, the hacker turned from the window and glanced shiftily around the room.

Double checking to make sure no one else was there, he yanked out the rest of the sake the Doujima had left, and giggled over his thong. This was going to be a fun vacation.

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Oh…boy…am I gonna get flamed for this one. But oh well. I amused myself whilst writing it, so I guess that's all that counts. But really, I'm going to try and get the next real chapter of 'Miracle' out for you guys, hopefully sometime before the holidays.

I would LOVE to know what you guys thought, even if it's too say, "I was scared so much by this I crapped my pants! DON'T DO THIS TO ME AGAIN!" Every once and a while, even I like to take a break and just goof off.

But anyway, I hope this brought you a little amusement and some holiday cheer. Merry Christmas!

-SanoGirl

And yes, "Please Daddy Don't Get Drunk This Christmas" is a real song, sung by John Denver on one of his Christmas albums. We unfortunately own that album and that is where I discovered this terrible song.