Wolf's Rain Fan Fiction ❯ Being Beloved ❯ Being Beloved ( Chapter 1 )

[ X - Adult: No readers under 18. Contains Graphic Adult Themes/Extreme violence. ]

Title: Being Beloved
Author: The Queen of Blueberry Toast [TheKWOBT@hotmail.com]
Fandom: Wolf's Rain
Rating: X
Disclaimer: Suing me will get you nowhere: I own a lot of porn and that's it.
Wolf's Rain belongs to Bones. No harm intended.

~*~

Rehearsal to Ourselves
Of a Withdrawn Delight-
Affords a Bliss like Murder-
Omnipotent- Acute-

We will not drop the Dirk-
Because We love the Wound
The Dirk Commemorate- Itself
Remind Us that we died.

E. Dickinson, Poem 379

It snowed or it was dark. The moon fell through the clouds
like a pearl as it waned, and he could see the moon from
where he lay. A few strands of someone else's fur had
snagged on its light and left a dancing shadow just out of
reach of his paw. Since he could not sleep, he watched it,
let it lull his dreams away.

For though he was warmer that night than he had been in
ages; though he was woefully happy, he did not want to
sleep. But then again, he did not want anything with the
racing shadows of their almost shelter- the ruined frame of
what had once been a greenhouse. Only icicles grew here
anymore. Even the smell of vegetation was gone. It was
only that part of him remembered, clung to it, wanted to
find such things troubling his brain.

As a pup, Toboe had known it hopelessly well; that and the
gentle nothing-aromas of his mistress's house. The age of
her skin and the dust born of it, teapots so long used the
traces of a hundred herbs in their bellies lingered,
antiques that couldn't remember they were antiques anymore.
The soap she used on her hair.

He'd thought her name was Mikoto, maybe just Miko, but the
other humans called her Nana, and so he called her Nana
too. Not that he spoke. Not at first.

No one trusted him as much as she did. Some of her
children, though they were grown and sensible enough,
seemed to think such a beast might harm her if she kept it
in the house. They would ask her to put him out, and
perhaps she would, but only until they left. Then she
would make him his own plate of bacon to apologize. If he
wanted out, she let him open the door on his own and come
back to her when he chose. That of the tricks she had
taught him he never did for anyone else, and he thought he
understood why. He never saw another dog do such things,
even if he remembered he wasn't exactly a dog.

But he could fetch her slippers or her gardening tools if
she asked; but he could hush on command; but he played
gently as he could with whatever she told him he could
have.

Nana didn't call him 'dog'. He still heard her smoky
voice- "You're such a good boy, Toboe. I love you, Toboe.
I'm a bit chilly- come sit on the couch with me, Toboe."

He always did. Her worn clothing was so invitingly soft,
and when it was just the two of them, there was little else
she was wont to wear, even to bed. Bed was the only place
of hers he wasn't welcome, but she gave him his own in her
room. Since there was no moon for him to see- only one to
feel -he would sit there and watch the town shimmer like a
bowl of yellow fishes.

If Nana woke and fetched herself a glass of water, she
brought his bowl with her, as if she suspected he might be
thirsty too. It wasn't that he ever asked- such things
were her prerogative and he did not question them.

But one night, she fell. It was not the first time. She
was too stubborn to turn on the lights, and her feet were
clumsy even in the daylight. He ran to her as soon as he
heard the midnight air snagging on her braid, but it was
too late. He found her moaning in the middle of the
kitchen floor, her knee cuddled to her chest.

"What a fool I am!" she rasped. "Falling over my own two
feet."

He whimpered for her, laid his ears back.

"No, I don't think it's broken. Just stupid of me and it
hurts like hell. I might have to spend the night on the
floor with you as my pillow, Toboe." In spite of herself,
she laughed.

And he laughed too, like he did in his mind.

Even though this time, of all possible times, he heard it.
So did Nana, even if not in the same way. He smelled that
something had surprised her, heard her blood stutter and
catch itself. The sense of flesh just underneath his fur
had changed, and there was a hum in his blood.

He looked at his paws, and they were still paws. But not
to Nana. He'd always supposed he could change as the
shades of his mother and father could.

But he hadn't wanted to, even in his most misguided wishes
to comfort her. Not like this. His heart broke and he
feared hers would soon enough.

"Nana! No! Wait... I mean... no ah... NANA!" Somewhere in
his howl, he heard a the same gagging, wet noise children
sometimes made.

But he howled and he howled and nothing changed save that a
stillness crept through the house and slept there. Her
shivering voice at first seemed only part of it. "You...
you're a werewolf, aren't you?"

"No!" and then softly through the tears he wasn't really
crying, "just a... a... just a wolf. Nana, I didn't MEAN
TO..."

"Am I afraid?" It was not something meant to be asked, but
she asked it anyway as she glided over the floor. If she
could have stood, he guessed she would have. He felt her
fingers tangle behind his ears.

"I ah... guess not."

"And I always knew you were special, Toboe. And look what
you've done to make me feel better." She kissed him on the
cheek, or it might have been his muzzle. What he felt and
what he wanted her to feel blended together like water
colors. "You make such a charming boy, but there's no need
to stay one for now."

The fizzing faded from the place that wasn't quite his
skin. Where his horror had been only sleepiness remained.
Somehow they had climbed back to Nana's bed, and she gave
him half her pillow for his weary head. When he woke
later, she was kissing him on the throat, where she should
have been afraid to touch a dog at all.

They went on as if the scant words of the night before had
only been a dream. By noon he found himself supposing it
was, but then again, she had left him alone to visit the
doctor, check on her leg. He didn't do very well alone; it
gave him strange thoughts. He ate some crickets and went
sun bathing in the middle of the kitchen floor. A tiny
streak of blood there lingered, and though it was dry and
probably left from dreams only, he licked it up. Nana
tasted like salt and silver. Strange- she often smelled
that way too.

When she came home, he met her at the door and saw her
inside.

"Good afternoon, my boy. I hope you haven't been too
lonely." There was a bandage on her knee now, but even in
the moment he'd wondered why it kept her from putting her
hat and coat away, for she left them on the couch and
called him to her bedroom.

Though it was high summer, there was still something of
snow twisting through the daylight for no sun graced it.
Nana, barefoot, sat on the edge of her newly smoothed
sheets and patted the empty reflection of the window at her
side. He took it, made it full.

She said to him, "Show me yourself as a boy. Like you did
last night. I just want a look."

Though he couldn't remember how to do such things, the
guise and the electricity it left in him returned, and his
voice became something she could know. "Ah, OK," He
needn't have offered that much, her hands were already in
his hair again, or his ears. Both.

"You feel so soft, even like this. But you never really
had a dog's fur. You were like velvet." And she kissed
him again on the throat. Then the lines of his fangs
though surely the pricked her cheek, surely they bit into
her.

Like her gaze did to him, for it was jewel-like unfamiliar.
More than anything else he was that moment.

"Wouldn't it be nice if I could make myself a wolf too?
We'd be even then."

"We could play," he was yipping with delight at the
thought.

"We can play now, but you'll have to pretend. Can you? Can
I be a she-wolf for you? And you a boy who doesn't feel
like a boy for me."

"Ah... you mean... umm..."

But she said nothing. He blouse peeled from her and
stirred the faint tracery of powder from her breasts, for
she wore nothing around them. Toboe understood and he
didn't, but he licked her there because she looked like she
might ask that of him. She eased herself to the pillows
and he followed her, lighting in the sunshine at her side
at last, fearing himself too heavy for her. Nana didn't
taste old- it was only that the impurities of the water she
had bathed in lingered in her, and a musty sort of honey.
Not age, but the sticky sweetness of waiting. He tasted it
too on her belly and the dainty lace of fat there. She
felt as good as she tasted too him.

So when Nana lay naked before him and asked if he would put
his tongue between her legs, he obliged. Her flesh there
was dark and wet like a plum.

"Do you like it?" She asked. He guessed she did herself,
for the hard little nub at the crown of her sex was
quivering in his mouth.

" I do."

"Do you mean it, or are you just trying to make me happy?"

"I mean you taste good!"

She sighed, felt content. "Then eat me all up. I don't
mind." As she spoke, she slipped from him. One of her
pillows she slid under her hips as she rolled over. Poised
on her belly now, she opened herself and the dark little
slit he had only just started to feel out peeped at him.
She tasted best of all there, and so he lapped and lapped
her till she grew bitter and wet in his mouth. She didn't
cry out, just nibbled his tongue back when she came. He
sat back on his haunches and licked his muzzle clean of
her.

"You can do it again if you want," she had pushed herself
at him, just lightly, and stirred the vapors of her scent
enough to coax him back to her. So he lapped, and at her
suggestion, tasted her rosebud too. That made her squirm
and so he rather, and drank from her. It would have made
him happy to have done it all afternoon, learned all there
was to learn about the sweet and fleshy part of her.

But she said to him, "If you're full, we can try something
else."

"Really? What else?"

"Well, I can lick you, or you can put yours in me." She
laughed. "I'm not so old I wouldn't enjoy that. You have
a beautiful prick, whatever form you choose." He hadn't
heard her use the word before, but it was easy enough to
figure out. "Yes, I want that, but make yourself happy."

Toboe considered a moment. He was hard enough that the
ache, not to hurt. Another time he would have licked
himself soft then come inside to sleep at Nana's chair.
But now that he knew... she had felt so pillowy and tender
in his mouth.

There was no need to tell her he had decided, she knew only
from the way he held himself what he was about to do, and
her body, so empty and silken wet, fluttered, enticed.
Softly he slunk across the covers. As his chest rubbed
over her back, she moaned, even though he had not yet
touched her anywhere that made her moan before. Her cheeks
were the color of unbruised roses and he licked her there-
licked and licked and licked until her tongue found his and
his fangs.

Was it the wolf she saw? Or the boy? It felt to wonderful
to be kissed: he couldn't wonder, and so he didn't. His
forepaws brushed her shoulders as he steadied himself,
crept forward. With his cock free of its sheath, his
nerves sparkled alight at the feel of Nana beneath him. He
had feared being able to find her slit, sense it, but she
thrust herself back on him, slurped softly.

"Oh, Nana..." he said, and she echoed, as her hand closed
around his leg, "Oh Toboe."

All of her sex embraced him at once, but in slow motion to
his smarting sense of wonder. She gave way like ripples in
a dish of cream, her juices sliding around him until his
tip brushed the naked head of her vagina. He felt her
writhe inside- writhe, clasp him all at once.

But she had said yes, asked him. His hesitation fluttered
away and he began to move. He could not be tender as he
had before- she drew him in as much as he drew into her,
panted in the same breath she drew. His legs brushed her
legs, his belly her ass, everything of his prick everything
of her cunt.

He mounted her, and fucked her as if she was one of his own
kind. And she howled with him, snarled even when his knot
first touched her outer lips. He had expected it, but she
seemingly hadn't, for between his thrusts, she tried to
watch him from between her own buckling legs.

"Put that in me," she said to him. "Always, I've always
wanted... it's so big..."

"Yes Nana," he said, nuzzled her braid, and ground on her
ever harder to coax his orgasm on, into her. In the last
moments before he was fighting her body for however slick
she was, the knot made her smaller, and her wet folds
sucked on him with the sudden tightness.

But he got it into her in the last. They were snuggled so
tight he could hardly move within her for a moment. And
then he started to come. The first jolt was the hardest,
and she felt it as keenly as he did, for she came too.
Between his joy and hers, she was pliant again, easy to
take.

So he took her until he was spent, and his sperm had
dribbled from her onto the bed. He was wet a little
himself. Her legs were slick with it, and her cunt white
and glistening. She lay on her back now where her bed was
clean yet and let him lick what there was of himself on her
away.

Then they slept. Neither said a word to the other. Though
one a wolf and the other a woman, they had tired. That was
all. Afterwards, for what other times there were, she did
not ask him. He felt it in her when she wanted to be a
wolf herself. He took her with her clothes on, and naked
as himself. The living room and the back yard they tried,
but they always came back to the bed. It was in bed where
her heart stopped, though he had not been in her that
day...

And his did too, but only for a moment in the snow where he
was trying so hard not to sleep. He had felt her again,
the sunlight spilling over them both. What warmth there
was for him was so different now- welcome, wanted, but not
Nana.

Through what was left of the snowstorm, he lifted his head
and looked at his companions.

They were all awake and gazing softly at him, licking their
lips. He said to them, "How do wolves make love? I only
know about humans..."

"That's because you're a pet," Tsume's dismissive snarl did
not have the happy blade it's easiness so often incurred.

"We're supposed to be faithful to our mates..." Hige
sounded as if he had felt something more coming to him, but
he trailed off, and bit Kiba's ear.

And Kiba, though a wolf he was, smiled, "But in paradise,
no one is jealous."

Despite the cold, they rose left each other only to return
in different forms- licking as if they were wounded,
scratching lovingly, now and then for instants mounting one
another as if each was female. Kiba let them all take him
in the ass for awhile, but Toboe they were gentle with,
only rubbing. And then he could not remember whose body
belonged to whom, and whose wonder was not his own.

They were not his Nana, and they never said their loved
him, though they did. That much was enough. For awhile,
he did not remember.

~*~

Owari- 16 January 2004