Wolf's Rain Fan Fiction ❯ Broken ❯ Volume Four, Chapter Twelve: Sickness ( Chapter 12 )

[ T - Teen: Not suitable for readers under 13 ]

Sickness

*Mika*

*Watching Toboe sleep*

I am sick. I don't think I'll heal easily. I've done good with hiding it all. No one really notices it. Men don't even care. They just want my body. But Toboe, he's different.

That's what scares me. He's going to get too close to me. And then he'll see my sickness. No. I can't have that. I can't.

I remember what set me on this path. I was a puppy at the time. Starved for love and attention. Not a good combination. Everyone knows where this is going. Well, it's more complicated than that.

His name was Ben. Wolf or human? A wolf who lived as a human pimp. I met him while lived on the streets. I remember that day perfectly. He had the most beautiful eyes I had ever seen. His baby blues drew me in, you know.

“Why are you all alone in the city?” he asked me. I blushed at his question.

“Uh… well…” I mumbled as I lowered my head and looked away. He lifted my face to him. Those whispering blue eyes fired me up in my chest. Oh…

“Come with me tonight,” this beautiful wolf offered. I didn't really think about a response.

“Okay…” I mumbled. He took me back to his place. No, he wasn't my first. I don't fully remember the first guy I slept with. But, Ben felt like my first. Pretty soon, I became his mate.

But, it was all a set-up. He was looking for women to sell as private toys to other men. I didn't see until it was too late. I was young, dumb, desperate, and in love. Not a good combination again. I didn't even notice the red flags until my first client raped me. Ben had no sympathy for me afterwards.

“Get used to it,” was all he told me. I never quite did.

For two years, I have been sick. Ben turned me that way. I closed my heart as a result. I just wanted to be showered with attention from men. They are all the same to me. Don't get me wrong, they all looked hot. But… I felt nothing from them. They were just my toys for me to use at my own pleasure and that was it. I would never see most of them again. Ben trained me that way. I'm sick because of him. But Toboe…

I shudder to think what will happen when he finds out how sick I am. No! He much not know! I won't tell him! He cannot know it!

I don't understand it. Why do I care so much about what he thinks? I can't be falling in love with him. I don't even know what that truly is. I just know when I am wanted. So I can't be in love with Toboe, can I?

Damn it! Now I'm getting confused! Where the hell did this all come from? I'm never like this. So why? Why?

Is it… because of Toboe?

*Mika shudders and shakes her head before falling asleep*

Love or Confusion