Wolf's Rain Fan Fiction ❯ Italian Sushi ❯ Two Halves ( Chapter 2 )

[ X - Adult: No readers under 18. Contains Graphic Adult Themes/Extreme violence. ]

That night.

Toboe rolled over onto his side, eyes scunching in, face looking distraut. He groaned a bit in his sleep, mouth parting a little. It wasn't until the wetness of drool hit the corner of his mouth that he snaps his eyes open. Laying on his side he frowns deeply, gripping a hand to his pillow. Tears well in his eyes soaking the pillow a bit. He was having the strangest dream just now. He was at Fashion Week in Japan, he could tell by the writing on everything that they weren't anywhere else and Tsume was up there on the runway only the fashion show was a little different because Tsume was the only one walking in it. There must have been ten of him all dressed differently yet they looked the same; his image of his former lover never changed even slightly. He remembered everything about the man down to what his stomach looks like when it clenched over him during sex. But that isn't why the dream was so strange the reason it was weird is because all the Tsume's in the show had flat screen televisions in their hands and they held them at their sides. Each screen had a different memory of their time together in it. The first time he'd seen the man behind the fence when he'd lost that fly ball. The time on the front stairs of the school when he'd been about to show him his burn saying that it was a weird birthmark. The time he and Tsume shared a soda in the mans car.

Toboe remembered the first time he'd been in the mans penthouse. It was the coolest thing he's ever seen. The whole place looked just like the kind of place a model would live in. He even bought him McDonald's to eat while he waited for Kiba to come get him. Tsume had kissed him on a whim when he asked if someone would kiss a person who just sneezed. Even now he had to laugh at himself for that. Toboe should have known better then to get himself mixed up in something like that at all. If he hadn't allowed his heart to flutter when Tsume spoke to him or touched him, he probably wouldn't have given him his virginity. Probably... All these pictures went by in the show while beside him a slew of Tsume's applauded, or whistled, judged, or whispered to one another about the show.

Curious, Toboe turned to one of them and asked. "Which is your favorite picture?"

The Tsume next to him said with a small smile. "Any one with him and you."

Toboe shot up from his seat at that moment and ran, he ran as hard as he could and as fast but it never seemed to be fast enough, never far enough. Every door lead right back into that room with Tsume. But he kept running, trying hard to escape the situation, trying so hard to not care but he was trapped. His mind and heart kept leading him back to that room. He fell to his knees, hands on the floor catching the tears like a landing pad before they slid sideways to the floor.

"Why are you doing this to me!" He shouted getting everyone's attention. "Why won't you just let me be normal? I don't want this, I don't wanna love you!"

"But you do love me, don't you, Toboe?"

The young teen nods. He does love him, he really does. But he can't. Why doesn't Tsume understand that? There was only one thing he could do. Wipe him clean from his mind. All the models took from walking back and forth with the picture-video's to tossing them over the side of the stage, breaking them in a pile of themselves at the end of the stage. Toboe watched, mesmorized until he realized what was going on. Each picture broken was a memory erased. Was he ready to give that up? He couldn't see Tsume in person but couldn't he at least have his memory.

Grabbing hand fulls of hair he screams. "Why is this so hard?! What do I do!? Somebody please tell me!"

His knees were damp and it wasn't from his tears. He looked down at the floor watching it fill up with thick hot water. This pain he's feeling, its trying to drown him! He climbed up onto the stage, the Tsume in red grabbed him by the shoulders holding him close as if he could create a bubble around them that would ward off the water. But it only continued to rise reaching the top of the stage then higher, it was now at the boys waist, chest then chin. Toboe sucked in a hard breath right before Tsume's hand came over his mouth that's when he woke up.

'Enough is enough. Tonight is the last night I'm gonna let myself think about Tsume, the last night I'm gonna let myself cry over him.' He thinks as his tears have completely wet up the side of the pillow he's laying on. 'But tomorrow morning Tsume will just be a pleasant memory. I won't freak out when someone says his name, I won't even react at all. I'm happy to hear his name, even in a bad light. But I can't love him.' With that affirmed Toboe pressed his face into the wet pillow and cried.

The next morning. Kiba is straightening the cranberry tie that goes with his work clothes of a matching jacket and grey slacks with a white collared shirt underneath. He hated the uniform although it made him feel like he'd fit in at a college if he ever just strolled into one. He'd gotten up early that morning so that he could get ready for work and make breakfast so that neither of them would be late to where they needed to be. He'd be worried that Toboe was going to be upset this morning since he didn't get a chance to talk to him last night after he left upstairs when Hige came over. But some time during his preparing chocolate chip waffles for them- Toboe's favorite, he heard his little brother in the bathroom taking a shower. He was trying his hardest to whistle what sounded like a Super Mario theme song. There was a thud at one point but Kiba idenitified it as the soap falling. The older Wolf brother wondered when the little guy was old enough to decide on shower's being the best option of getting clean. He also wondered when he, Kiba, became strong enough to allow the boy to run his own water. Toboe had grown up so much over that winter, Kiba just wished he'd grown up with him.

Toboe will always be six to him and he can't change that easily. But he will try. He has to. Kiba was nearly startled to dropping a waffle on the floor when a refreshed 'Aaaaaahhh' came into the kitchen before his little brother did. Snickering at the boy who drifted in and floated by with a quick whiff of the scent of pancake badder.

"Alright! and they're chocolate chip. What's the occassion? Is someone dying?" Toboe asked suspiciously taking the offered plate from his brother. "Is it me?" He then gasped. "Is it you!?"

Cocking a brow, Kiba messes the boys hair with his hand. "No one's dying. I just thought you could use something nice to pick up your spirits."

"What happened to my spirits?" Asks Toboe making zig zags over his waffle with the syrup.

Alright. Kiba can play dumb too. Taking his seat at the table, he swipes the syrup from Japan's budding artist before it ran out. "Nothing happened," he answered then commented. "Someone must have had a good night last night."

"I hope you don't mean me," Says Toboe over a bite. "mine was horrible."

'I knew it! He was upset.' Kiba confirmed as if that would explain the boys sudden mood change. Trying to sound like he wasn't snooping, he asks. "What happened last night?"

"An awakening," He replied. "I've decided that I'm not gonna respond to Tsume's letters and... I'm not gonna see him over break."

Inside, Kiba just kicked his heals together in joy but on the outside he remained plain faced and listening. "I can't say that I'm not thrilled about that, but what made you change your mind?"

Knowing his brother wasn't one to keep his true feelings in, Toboe shrugs. "I just.... I don't know. It was something you said and didn't say. You've been so trusting of me since then, and you let me make a lot of my own decisions. I really like that Kiba, so I guess this one's for you."

Blinking at that statement, Kiba replayed his brother's words. It should have been a compliment but something in there stung a bit. So he had to ask. "Nevermind my feelings about it, how do you feel?"

Toboe figits in his seat and that was all the answer Kiba needed. But his little brother said. "I want the same thing. I... I don't know, it was stupid of me to think that Tsume and me could love each other. He's a famous model, and he's older than me. Ha ha..." he trailed off a moment. "Its stupid to think that we'd be able to have a relationship on those facts alone. He'd get hurt and so would I."

Kiba thought that sounded very grown up, and responsible. But it also sounded like his brother was still in love with the man in which case he still had many things to worry about as well. Why couldn't Toboe just have found someone his own age. Why this man? He'd rather not hear the answer to that question. Right now he had to focus on breakfast and getting to work. He can figure out this whole thing once he gets there. Toboe and Tsume. Tearing the man from his brother's mind is gonna end up hurting them. He just knew it.

Hige came into the Wolf home with a bright smile on his face. He loves Spring. No more heavy coats shielding him from his lovers flesh, gusts of wind hard enough to knock you on your ass, but most of all school was coming to an end. Now Summer was what the chipper male really lived for. Hot dogs, beaches, and no school. If only Kiba didn't have that damned job. Hige is very aware of what his lover has been through after Kiba had told him and his little brother about it, so he doesn't nag so much about his boyfriends duties but still, he can't help but want him around.

"You let me know when you're ready to go, 'kay kid?"

"Kid? Where are we going?" Toboe glances at his brother then back at Hige.

"To school." States the older than Toboe, though, far less mature male. "Where else?" He takes a seat plating up a waffle and eating it without bothering with syrup.

"Why do I need a ride to school? I'm taking the bus." He looks at his brother. "Kiba? I'm taking the bus, right?"

Kiba cleared his throat, quietly, then reached for his glass of orange juice. He had to stall. What was he supposed to say? Its obvious that he isn't taking the bus why can't Toboe just be good with that?

"Kiba?" Persists Toboe.

Shoulders slumped, his brother replies carefully. "In light of everything that happened last winter, I think Hige should take you to school since I have to work and can't go today." Eyes locked with his brother's he says calmly. "I usually work at night, but for some reason they need me in right now. Please don't be difficult about this. The last time I let my guard down you were kidnapped."

Shaking his head, Toboe says in his defense. "I wasn't kidnapped, I willingly went with Tsume- and you can say it Kiba, I won't fall apart." Pushing his seat out, he leans his hands on the table giving his brother an equally even stare. "I'm over Tsume and I get that he was a pedophile and I was stupid to have fallen for his lies but I've learned from that and I won't go head over heals for every older man that looks my way." Lessening the bite in his tone, Toboe sighs. "I know you love me, and I love you too. So please don't baby me anymore." Easing up to a straighten, he grabs his backpack. "Come on Hige, I'm ready to go."

"Toboe." Kiba starts but when his brother turned to face him, he lost what he was going to say.

But Toboe knew. He was going to say that he was sorry. He knew that very well. Kiba should stop blaming himself for what happened. Toboe was well aware of what he was doing, sort of, he's at fault. Not Kiba. "I'll see you after work." The younger boy says then heads out the door after his older friend.

Looking down at his cold breakfast, Kiba stands from his seat then clears the dishes from the table, setting them in the sink he cleans them and puts them away in the dishwasher. Checking his watch he has an hour left until work. Though it took him five good reasons as to why he should, Kiba eventually found himself upstairs in his brothers bedroom with the models letters in his hands. He isn't prying he'd just like to make sure that the man is actually in Italy as he says he is and hasn't secretly snuck back to Japan to take his brother to come visit him. The letters were pretty mundane even to Kiba. The man spoke as though he were merely a lonely friend of his brothers and not some pervert that gets off on kids. A couple of them made Kiba upset that it seemed Tsume was trying to guilt trip his brother into giving him something to go on rather than silence. The last one Tsume seemed to finally get the hint because he said he's going to back off. But Kiba recalled the letter from the other day and how urgent Tsume has been in his request to see his brother. Kiba can't figure out this guys angle. Is he obsessed or just having fun with Toboe. None of it is healthy either way and he shouldn't allow it to go on. Placing the letters back into the trash basket, Kiba leaves the room and goes downstairs it was time to go and the distraction couldn't be more welcoming.

...................

The older boy hates being a manager. He doesn't know what he's supposed to do and policing a strangers actions is just uncomfortable. So he sits around in his office until lunch at which point he'd either live crazy and open the blinds to the window or eat it outside in the car for some privacy. For right now Kiba has decided to eat outside but as he's leaving the store he spots an older man sitting against the wall of the building, he's got a cup in his hand, holding it up to passers in hopes for some change to get something to eat or drink.

Looking down at the lunch of a mini sub-sandwich in his hand, a bag of chips and a shake, Kiba knows what he should do.

The gentleman wasted no time digging into anything his dingy fingers could get their hands on. Kiba just watched as the man enjoyed his lunch. The two of them are in his office with the door closed and locked. It isn't that he didn't want anyone to know what he was doing its just that he needed some privacy while they spoke.

Swallowing a large bite that he's hardly chewed properly, due to the furiousity of his hunger, the older man says hand up in gestures. "So this model guy is in love with your little brother, and the kid thinks he's in love with him?"

Kiba nods.

The man blew out a mayo scented sigh. "Tough break.... Well, what has he done to him besides the obvious. I mean, has he hurt him or tried to steal him away?"

Kiba thought about that. After the initial kidnapping, Tsume hasn't come to Toboe his little brother mostly went to him. "No. But don't you see, that's how these guys opperate. They lure you in and keep you hooked."

The homeless man shakes his head while patting the bottom of the chip bag. Bringing it down, he clears the choking crumbs from his throat. "No. Not from my knowledge. A child molester wants the kid hands down and they usually end up taking them and never bringing them back. I think this uhh?? Tsume guy is just fresh and can't get off any other way. But he seems to mean your brother no harm."

"That doesn't help me much at all." If anything it got him back to square one.

"You listen to me youngman. What your brother experienced was emotions different than what he's grown up with and to young people its confusing yet exciting so he went with it. It wasn't anything personal to you he was just swept up by it all. You said he's calmed down and learned his lesson but this guy keeps persisting eh?

He scratches his chin. "I say give him what he wants."

Eyes flared Kiba points to the door. "Get out."

The man just laughed. "No, I'm serious, just listen... you'll take this trip and show this guy that his dream is dead. A guy his age can't have too much in common with a kid and they'll bore the snot out of each other now that their secret world is gonna be nothing more than a memory since you're showing that you accept it."

Following the mans train of thought, Kiba finishes his sentence. "And when he figures out that things aren't a fairytale they'll back off each other for good. Its genuis!" He stands with a new vigor.

The man laughs then finishes up the drink. "Glad I could help, anytime you have too much lunch and wanna talk you give me a whistle."

"I will." He says shaking the mans hand then wished he hadn't but he politely waited until the man was gone before washing his hand. Mr. Tachibana is right. Its like allowing the wolf to play among the sheep while the shepard watches without a care. He'll eventually be so unnerved that he'll see the error of his ways instead of thinking it all to be some paradise. He didn't know why he didn't see it before. A couple weeks without cringing at the sight of the man shouldn't be too bad if it'll get him his little brother back for good. He has to make arrangements for this trip. Time off and since school is coming up on break everything will be perfect. Kiba just hoped Toboe didn't rip the tickets up.

Toboe bit absently into his turkey sandwich, chewing it with as much enthusiasm as a kid at the dentist getting a tooth pulled without something to numb the pain. He felt in pain. And how could he not be in pain after this morning. Kiba doesn't trust him; Tsume is brought up and all of a sudden he's a kid again. Its not fair. Didn't he prove himself over the past year, isn't he grown up enough for Kiba to believe him when he says something like that will never happen again?

'How can I blame him, though, I'm not even sure he knows about me leaving school with Tsume to have lunch.' He mechanically set his sandwich down on his napkin, he then picks up his can of grape juice taking a slow drink from it. 'But its weird, even though I know what Tsume is after reading about it, I just can't put him into the same catagory as those sicko's the books and video's describe. Tsume wasn't checking out other guys, just me. And he's never hurt me, or tried anything weird with me. I was aware of everything that went on. There were no drinks with rape drugs in them and no melodic talk to seduce or scare me. If anything I was the one who couldn't stay away from him. Is there a name for younger guys being attracted to older men? There should be. Sure, Tsume started it but I let it go on.'

Cheza cocked her head to the side, her pink hair fanning out as her head titled. She hasn't seen Toboe think this hard since they were 7th graders. She hoped it wasn't the same problem as it was before. The sensative girl didn't quite understand what was going on completely but she knew that it made a lot of people angry. Toboe had eventually told her over the summer of the following year when the two of them and Kiba and her mother went to the beach. They had lunch at a picnic table rather than the blankets like the others and Toboe confessed everything. Cheza could not imagine what it must have been like: falling for an older man, what Kiba was going through, the birthmark on his chest and neck turning out to be caused by a fire when he was a toddler.

"Toboe?" She tries to coax him from his thoughts.

"Hm?" He answered quicker than she thought he would have.

"Are you alright?" Touching her friends shoulder, she continued. "You've been thinking very hard."

Toboe was glad that Cheza had gotten therapy and began to come out of her detached shell. Now she's I, me, and such rather than 'this one' as she used to call herself. But sometimes he missed the funny way the girl talked. He wondered how Cheza really felt, though, about her parents divorce about having to see Mr. Lebowsky over weekends and for two hours over holidays. Sometimes the skittish man spends them with his ex-wife and they get along great. She doesn't hate him at all, she just would rather never be in a relationship with the man ever again.

"Yeah, I'm fine. I was just thinking about something."

"I know... but you've been thinking with your serious face. This one-.. I would like to know what is troubling you."

"Its..." he looks around for eaves droppers. "Its Tsume. He wrote to me again and... it kind of stirred up my feelings all over again. Last year he wrote me every month and I've ignored them for my own sake. When Tsume stopped I thought for sure that that would be the end and I wouldn't have to think about him again, but he wrote me the other day and now..." He shrugs. "I'm right back where I started, missing him, seeing him everywhere we used to be and its tearing me up inside." Toboe smiles to himself as he looks at his reflection in the window ahead of him. He's grown up a little in the face. He thinks so. Kiba says if anything he has more of a baby-face. Big brothers can be so cruel at times. But Toboe can see changes. He's mature and responsible. A near man. His brother was a man at 16 so he can be as well. Okay, so he isn't 16 yet, but he will be in the next week and from then on he's ready to be a man. "I wanna know how I can think about Tsume and not have Kiba freaking out on me like I'm ready to hop onto a plane and see the man again. I want to forget about him just as badly as my brother wants me to but I can't. Not easily anyway."

Cheza nods.

"He was my first time, and that means something to me." He turns his bright red eyes at the girl. "Whose to say I'll ever find love again? And I'm just supposed to forget about him all at once."

"Maybe if you broke things off with him better, Toboe wouldn't still have lingering feelings."

Biting his bottom lip, he thinks those words over. He does feel as though the two of them left things badly. Tsume told him the truth and barely got out a goodbye before he was gone. It was hard to have so many things left to say and he couldn't say them. Cheza's right. He needs to properly break things off with the model.

"I'm gonna write him a letter... but that still feels cowardly. Maybe I could call him!" He snaps his fingers at the good idea.

"How will you find Mr. Keina's number?" Asks Cheza.

Feeling his hopes dashed, Toboe lays his forehead on the table. "I don't know. I could try for his cell but I never knew that in the first place, at least I don't remember it if I did know." He shakes his head in confusion and sadness. 'My minds a total blank.... No, not blank- black out!' Sitting up straight he pops his fist into his hand. "Its right there in front of me! I may not know his numbers but I know his old address. I can ask Mr. Black what Tsume's number is, he has to know it!"

"Mr. Black?" Cheza inquires.

Waving it off, Toboe says. "I'll tell you later when school's out. Okay?"

The quiet girl nods.

'I'll call Tsume and we can say goodbye to each other. It'll be great to hear his voice again, it'll be like he never lef-... RRrrrr. Stop thinking like that. I'm over him. This isn't a social call, its a goodbye. I've gotta stay strong.'

Picking up his sandwich he takes a huge bite chewing with new vigor now that he's got a solid plan. But he's gonna have to write down what he plans to say otherwise he's gonna end up sounding like a hopeful ex and he doesn't want that. Pulling out a notebook, he turns to a clean page then begins to write with Cheza peeking over his shoulder.

...............

Toboe changed his clothes after Hige dropped him off. Grabbing his bike from the shed he rolls with it down the street, glancing at his watch to make sure he had enough time to get there and back before he could be missed. But for safe measure he did leave his brother a note on the kitchen table. Toboe tried not to seem too urgent in his riding to Tsume's old home, it might draw questioning looks toward him. Adults never like to see kids with a purpose they always think they're up to something.

"Mmm." Toboe took a hard whiff of the air as he passed by Burger King. Maybe he could convince Kiba to get them something for dinner tonight. That would be nice and he knows how hard Kiba works so having a quick meal is good for them. He has some money from allowance, maybe he can surprise him. It took Toboe a half hour to get to Banzai and he let out the kick stand on his bike after chaining it up next to the other bikes that belong to the residents in the building.

Casually as he could, he walks into the building the doorman different from the one that used to work there. The man gave him the eye as he boarded the elevator but aside from that, he had no problems getting up to Jet's place.

'Here's his old place,' Toboe stops infront of the door. 'So many memories.' He reached out to touch it.

"Well if it isn't Toboe," says a familiar voice.

Hand frozen in an outstretch, Toboe turns his head to see Jet Black approaching him.