WWE Fan Fiction ❯ Shut that B***h Up!! ❯ One-Shot

Author's Note: I don't own anyone or anything. Feedback's appreciative. No negative comments and don't steal this fic and other fics I have written.

It was another day off for the three top bad boys of the WWE as they decided to head off to the movies again. This time, they wanted to see a romantic comedy that they hated but wanted to make fun of it (and everyone that was watching it). But this time, they planned their own set of rules. "Okay, if we see or hear a baby," Adam explained, "We'll sneak out and see Madea Goes to Jail."

"I totally want to see it!" exclaimed Chris. "Either that or I find a bootleg copy because I am not going to deal with the immature shit the last time we were here."

He and the Rated R Superstar stared at Randy. "What?" asked the Legend Killer.

"It's your fault we didn't get to see the rest of Wizard of Gore last year, Orton!" said Adam.

"And Shawn got his dumb ass arrested!" added Chris.

"Hey, blame that fucking bitch!" Randy cried out. "She couldn't help but to bring her crying kid in! Lance and I had to do something about it!"

"By cursing them out? Nice."

Suddenly, Adam noticed a couple of familiar faces standing in the concession stand line, then tapped Chris's shoulder. "Uh, look who's ordering popcorn at ten o'clock."

Chris and Randy turned to see RAW General Manager Stephanie McMahon and her father, the WWE chairman, Vince McMahon ordering food at the concession stand. They freaked out a bit until Chris had an idea. "Look, if they ask us why," he said. "I'll just tell Stephanie that—

"Jericho? Orton? Edge?" cried the Billion-Dollar Princess. "What the hell are you three doing here?"

"Nothing!" They all replied in sing-song.

"We're going to see a movie," Chris said sarcastically, "like everyone else here."

"What did you thought we were doing here? Start trouble?" asked Randy.

"Duh!" Stephanie exclaimed.

"Actually," Adam snarled, "we were trying to save your fucking marriage, but since you won't let us—

Suddenly, Chris and Randy covered the Rated R Superstar's mouth as they quickly ran like scared rabbits into the screening room where Confessions of a Shopaholic was playing. They sat in mid-upper row, constantly making fun at all of the couples (Mostly were middle-class White people) sitting down in front. A trailer came up for another romantic comedy, and all Chris could say was, "Boring, next!"

The next trailer, about an inner city hustler trying to make it to the rap game, and all Randy could say was, "CENA SUCKS BALLS!!"

"Keep it down, dumbass!" Chris smacked the Legend Killer on the nose.

Then the last trailer, showed about a missing dog, and all the Rated R Superstar could say is, "I KILLED LASSIE, NOW GO HOME!!"

Chris responded with his famous cackling laugh, emitting a dirty stare from Randy. "That was creepy, guys," he chided. "Really. You two need Jesus in your life."

"Well, if I wanted to," retorted Chris, "I'd go to Michaels."

"You know what, Jericho—

"Shut up!" said Adam, pointing to the screen. "It's starting."

 

At the beginning of the movie, the boys started to make vulgar insults at the main character and the lovesick couples sitting below them. Adam couldn't help but to throw popcorn at them as Randy made farting noises, causing Chris to roll his eyes. Just when the climax of the movie entered out of nowhere, they heard loud, high-pitched shrieks coming from down in front.

 

"YOU FUCKING PIG!! YOU'RE DEAD TO ME!!"

 

"WAIT, THIS ISN'T WHAT YOU THINK!"

 

"DON'T LIE TO ME!! I WANT A DIVOOOORRRCE!!"

 

Randy turned to the Canadians sitting on opposite sides of him. "Is that in the movie?" he asked them.

 

"I dunno," Chris muttered, his mouth full of popcorn. "You tell me."

"CALM DOWN!! LET ME EXPLAIN!!" went the yelling and shrieking down in front.

 

"THAT'S JUST WHAT YOU SAID LAST NIGHT...AFTER I FOUND THAT SAME WHORE UNDER OUR BED!!"

 

"BUT BABY!"

 

"DON'T BABY ME!! I'M TELLING DADDY!!"

 

The yelling and screaming got to a point to where Chris screamed out so loud everyone in the theater could hear him, "SHUT THAT FUCKING BITCH UP!!"

 

"Jericho!" Adam and Randy scolded him.

 

"What the hell d'you want me to do about it?!" Chris continued raising his voice. "I was enjoying watching this shitty movie when these two couldn't help BUT TO ADD TO THE FUCKING SOUNDTRACK!!"

 

Randy held Adam's wrist (to prevent him from preventing Chris to finish starting the drama). "He's got a point, Adam."

 

"WELL, IF YOU DON'T LIKE IT," the male voice from down in front yelled, "GET THE HELL OUT!!"

 

"YEAH, ONLY IF YOU CONTROL YOUR WIFE!!" responded the Legend Killer.

 

"OR KEEP YOUR DICK IN YOUR PANTS AND SHUT IT FOR THE REST OF THIS MOVIE!!" Adam added.

 

"HEY, I DON'T KNOW WHO THE HELL YOU ARE!!" said the guy from down in front. "IF YOU DON'T STOP GETTING IN OUR BUSINESS RIGHT NOW, I SWEAR—

 

"HEY, WE WERE MINDING OUR BUSINESS WHEN YOUR BITCHY WIFE COULDN'T HELP BUT TO AIR YOUR DIRTY FUCKING LAUNDRY ALL OVER HERE!!" yelled Chris. "NOBODY WANTS TO HEAR THAT!!"

 

"Hey, we're trying to watch the movie!" a random person yelled.

 

"SHUT UP!!" shrieked the wife. "I'M TRYING TO HANDLE A MATTER HERE!!"

 

Chris covered his ears as the woman continued screaming for her daddy in her high-pitched voice. "SHUT UP, BITCH!!" Adam screamed. "LET US WATCH THE MOVIE!!"

 

"YEAH!" yelled Randy. "TAKE THAT SHIT OUTSIDE!! GHETTO ASS NIGGER BITCH!!"

 

All of a sudden, there was silence, then the Canadians turned to the Legend Killer like he was crazy. "I'M CALLING THE POLICE!!" the wife shrieked. "AND MY DADDY, TOO!"

 

"Really, Orton?" Chris asked him.

 

"That was uncalled for!" said Adam.

 

"Chris, you started it!" said Randy. "I had to finish it."

"Still, racist slurs are a totally different thing."

All a sudden, the theater grew silent, then moments later...

"WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON HERE!!" a familiar voice echoed the room, and the lights turned on, showing the identities of the people doing all of the drama: Stephanie McMahon, Vince McMahon, Triple H, and an unnamed woman Stephanie caught Hunter with.

"DADDY!" Stephanie sobbed into her father's shoulder. "He's been—

"I see that!" Vince went into the Game's face. "WHO THE HELL YOU THINK YOU ARE?! You gave me two granddaughters and 13-time championship reigns!! This is how you treat me in advance?!"

"Vince, she's just a friend." pleaded the Game.

"They say she's just a friend," Chris, Randy, and Adam sang. "They say she's just a friend! OH BABY NO!!"

Stephanie started screaming, throwing a temper tantrum on the floor, as Vince and Hunter fought it out, causing everyone to fight each other, which lead to Chris, Adam, and Randy run to sneak in to another screening room where Madea Goes to Jail was playing. They were having so much fun laughing at Madea acting a fool (and they were the only ones who weren't Black), when police officers escorted them out of the theater and arrested them. In the paddy wagon, they joined Hunter, Stephanie, and Vince. "What the hell are you doing here?" Chris asked them.

"Look at us, damnit!" Vince growled, pointing at his bruises Hunter made on him, as well as Hunter's bruises and broken arm that Stephanie made on him.

"And I'm gonna find that guy who called Stephanie the N-word and a bitch!" said Hunter.

Randy gulped as the Canadians gave him their "We told you so" stare."You aren't going to a goddamn thing, Hunter!" Stephanie articulated. "You've done enough for today! In fact, what the hell have you done for me lately?"

"SHUT UP!!" Vince screamed, stopping the argument between his daughter and soon to be ex-husband. "Tomorrow morning, we're going on Maury, and we're gonna settle this! I HAVE HAD IT!!"

"So," all three of them turned to the Canadians and Randy. "What are you in for?"

"Because we were White," said Adam.


THE END.