X/1999 Fan Fiction ❯ Satsuki ❯ One-Shot

[ P - Pre-Teen ]

X is not mine. The characters are not mine. Well, actually even this short scene isn't mine for it was inspired by the thirteenth X Manga, but nevertheless I hope you will enjoy it.
Furthermore I'd like you to know that I'm no native speaker, so if you find some mistakes, you may keep them =^_^=


SATSUKI
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"Why is it wrong to kill humans?"

Sometimes Satsuki really astonishes me.

I examine her cold face as it looks down on the shaking little girl of the Seven Seals, not concerned about the child's obvious pain, not concerned about the damage she had caused. In moments like this I often think that this harbinger has forgotten long ago what it means to be human or in pain. If she ever knew which I doubt.

Nobody connected with the end of the world is quite the normal, I'd say, but this strange graceful young woman tops us all. Low-voiced, unintentionally vicious, a pitiless killer, seemingly thoughtful but the eternal secret of an alien being, whom we will never fully possess or know or understand, that's Satsuki.

Oh, and so gorgeous at the same time! I bet all people she ever met longed to be the friends of this delicate girl with its cold, cold eyes and her never smiling but so adorable full lips. I also bet that she never even spoke to any of them, too bored by their simple humanity.

´Humans are so tedious in their inferiority to the machines they themselves invented.´

These words of her still echo in my mind while I look up to her, sitting in her computer as if she were a part of it, as if she and this machine were experiencing some perverse kind of fusion, still at best comparable to sex. Futurists have always asked the crucial question what a world based upon scientific advancement rather than upon humanity would be like and when I look at this sweet girl, I get the answer. Its people would be more akin to computers than humans, cold, analytical, rational and not feeling any love or hatred. They would be like machines, only - I cast a look at Satsuki - only more beautiful.

Oh brave new world, that has such people in it!

But is she actually as cold as this monstrous thing she affectionately calls "BEAST"? Her skin certainly is not. It feels warm and full of life, whenever I get the opportunity to touch it in order to help her out of her computer. So warm actually that I always regret the fact that these touches don't endure longer.

Yes, her skin is warm, but what about her heart?

Since she was brought here, she has not gone out for once, has always preferred her computer's company to the company of human friends or lovers. The only people she ever speaks to are Kanoe and me, but I can feel a pulling away in her, a desire to leave and to go off alone. Unlike us others, this one makes no commitment to our ´coven´, she never did. Instead she just sits in her BEAST as if the rest of the harbingers did not exist to her, feeling no allegiance to any of us, feeling nothing but her bond to the computer. Strange as it is, I actually feel jealous of this machine sometimes.

"Why is it wrong to kill humans?" she repeats in this very moment. Her expression is impassive, impassive and indubitable beautiful in a lovely youthful way, a stark contrast to the Seal's fearful widened eyes. "Is it because they are the strongest creatures?"

I look at her in wonder. Why does she want the little girl of the Dragons of Heaven to answer such a difficult question? Does she only wish to torture the cute thing or has she some deeper reason?

When I look in her eyes, I see no emotion, no concern like usual but nevertheless I get the infallible impression that she actually wants to know, that she eagerly longs for an answer.

Why is it wrong to kill humans?

She has done so a thousand times, out of boredom, out of disregard for their race or simply because Kanoe ordered her to do so, but for whatever reasons she had commit the deed, she had always done it quickly and without any hint of mercy or guilt.

And now she wants to now why her deeds were wrong.

But a computer cannot answer ethical questions, can it? Only humans think about such things, their solutions and their relevance. And Satsuki is human after all although she sometimes tends to forget it herself. BEAST, the machine, is not able to solve this crucial problem for her, and therefore the usually so well hidden human part of Satsuki´s personality turns towards an innocent little girl, who claims killing as wrong, and asks her about the reason for this judgement.

It's pure irony, isn't it?

"Or is it okay to kill them because they are the strongest?"
Am I experiencing hallucinations or can I see dissatisfaction and the smallest hint of anger in Satsuki´s ever so stoic face. "Answer me."

Again the little Seal shakes her head, her eyes desperately begging for Satsuki to stop this.

But she does not. "I ask you for a last time: Why is it wrong to kill humans?"

I knew from the glacial light in her eyes what was coming next but nevertheless I shudder as I see her killing the Dragon's beloved dog spirit. The cry of the girl is heart-breaking in his agony. "INUUUUKI!"

Then suddenly the computer screensaver goes out and I blink in surprise. She lets the girl live? I don't know why but suddenly I have to think of Miranda's words, repeated by Aldous Huxley's Savage hundreds of years later, again. ´Oh brave new world that has such people in it!´ What would those two have said when being confronted with Satsuki-chan?

But one seconds later I already show her my usual smile.
"A tricky question", I tell her, half in earnest, half in mockery. Then I let her hear my characteristic mindless chuckle. "That poor girl of the Dragons of Heaven. She almost cried because she could not answer."

Effortlessly graceful Satsuki jumps out of her "BEAST" and takes her glasses from the little table at the computer's side. When she finally turns around to look at me, her expression is as unreadable as ever, beyond my tenderness or my concern. Yes, Yatouji Satsuki knows how to shield all her feelings and emotions from the outside world, knows how to shield the whole great riddle which she herself is.
"There are many answers", she explains shortly with what seems to be complete indifference. "A biological answer. An ethical answer. An ideological answer. But none of them could be called complete."

I meet her eyes, smiling. Looks like you've actually thought about it for quite a while, love...

Without a word I move to her side, not bothering to ask her why she had killed the dog spirit but not the girl at its side. My eyes silently examine her, the thin features of her face, the irritating cold azure of her eyes, the sweet line of her mouth and not for the first time I think that I'd like to see her laugh someday.

"What do *you* say, Yuuto-san?" she finally asks, obviously not really expecting an answer from this ever smiling clown with the gigolo face that I am.

I think silently about it for one moment and looking at her I find the only acceptable answer. The pleasant smile still does not leave my lips as I finally deliver it to her. "Well, I'm no philosopher but... it could be simply because someone suffers."

She stops dead in her tracks and stares at me, her eyes widened in surprised understanding and a feeling very near to pain, and for one eternal moment the world around us fades away and leaves nothing back but the two of us. Then she calmly continues her path.

I smile thoughtfully.

Now, Satsuki-chan, what are you going to do with your answer?

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