X-Men Fan Fiction ❯ Come Back To Me ❯ Come Back To Me ( Chapter 1 )

Title: Come Back To Me

Author:  Jukebox

Pairing: Logan/Remy

Disclaimers: Doing this only for therapeutic value. Not making any money off it. All the characters in this fic belong to Marvel & Stan Lee. I'm broke so suing me would be like trying to squeeze blood from a turnip.

Notes: This fic submitted in response to Elijah's 'Crying Remy' challenge on the Logan/Remy group.  This is an AU because empathy and spatial awareness are just too cool for Remy not to have. Also, there are thousands of stories in the naked internet.  If you find this one resembles another, let me know who, what, when, where, and how so I may read for myself and contact the author to commiserate on having a mind like mine.

Summary: Remy struggles with Logan's decision to leave to find answers to his past

Warnings: I don't know French or Cajun French, so my apologies to people of those areas if I butchered the language in this fic. If I put any in this fic, it came from online translators and LA library archives.

Words in between ~ ~ are thoughts

*******

Stepping onto the veranda from the backdoor of the Xavier Institute, Remy LeBeau scanned the surrounding area for his targets.  It was a sprawling estate, meticulously landscaped thanks to Ororo, and one had to admire the amount of money the Professor commanded to afford such acreage in upstate New York.  Having taken the opportunity to take a peek at some of the accounts during his 'off time', the thief persona within Remy nodded in agreement with that astute observation. 

The grounds were terraced in a tier step effect, each new level lower than the first and separated by retaining brick walls.  It was in the distance on the second level down that he found who he was looking for.  From what he could tell, the team mate he occasionally slept with was in a heated debate with the team leader he occasionally disobeyed.  Well, occasionally was rather an understatement in both cases.  Remy had spent more time in Logan's bed than any other person he had ever been with before.  And though he knew that Logan only considered their joinings as a mutual release sort of gathering among buddies, Remy felt more.  He wouldn't let on to the older man the feelings he had developed.  Rather, he would bide his time and wait until the feral came around on his own.  And, he would come around.  Of that, Remy was sure.  As for Scott, well, it just wasn't a good day if he didn't deliberately ignore commands at least once.

Clutching the item he brought with him, Remy grinned and made his way slowly towards the screaming match.  He thought it a bit odd that they would have such a …. disagreement….way out on the back forty.  Usually, the arguments took place in the danger room or in the Professor's office.  But, he imagined that whatever they needed to discuss so fervently was meant to be private.  And considering the levels to which each could raise their voices, the back half of the property leading up to the woods was probably the most private they could get from the ears that the walls of the mansion have. 

As he reached the ledge of the retaining wall, Remy sat down with his legs dangling over the side, swinging back and forth like a little child as he held a bowl in his lap.  He didn't have to strain to hear the words flowing between the pair, nor could he mistake the angry looks and air of violence surrounding them.  Having come into the argument part way through, however, he did struggle to figure out exactly what they were talking about.  Remy had been there a few minutes, listening intently, when he felt a warm downward wind as a body lowered to sit down next to him from the air above. 

Turning to look at his beloved weather goddess, he flashed a winning smile.  "Hey, Stormy."

Ororo demurely crossed her legs and laid her hands in her lap, the picture of a perfect lady.  "Do not call me that, brother.  What is this about?" she asked, gesturing a hand towards the arguing males in front of her.

"Well, Cyke say 'Dis is not a request, dis is an order and you will follow it'.  Den, Logan, he say 'no fucking way in hell.'  Den, Cyke…."  Remy paused as he realized what he said.  Ducking his head slightly, he looked at her from the corner of his eyes.  "M'sorry, padnat.  Just trying to give you a blow-by-blow."

Canting a sideways glance at her adoptive brother, Storm smirked.  "It is fine, Remy.  I have known Logan for many years and am quite accustomed to his colorful expressions.  Unlike some on our team, I am not so easily offended.  Though, I would not be opposed to the abridged version."  Her reply felt like a slight scolding and Remy couldn't help but grin.

"'K, so, I'm not sure what dis 'bout.  I only just got here before you so I only hear a little bit, den missed some while I explain to you.  But, it don't look good, padnat.  Dey look like dey 'bout to get physical, may t'row some punches."  Remy lifted the bowl in his lap and held it towards Ororo.  "Popcorn, chere?"

Storm arched an elegant brow and gave him a stern, disapproving look for a moment.  "You did remember to put some butter on it this time?"

"But of course!"  They both reached in to grab a handful of the fluffy corn and shared a conspiratorial grin before turning their attention back to the floorshow.

"Look, bub, this ain't got nothing to do with ya.  I don't give a damn whether ya like it or not. It's my decision, not yours.  Ya need to get that through your thick skull."  Logan was seething, venom dripping from his words.

"And I'm telling you the team is what's important.  We all made a choice when we joined and knew there would be sacrifices.  You can't put your needs above the good of the team."  Cyclops was in full leader mode, which wasn't always a good thing as he sometimes wouldn't see reason.

Up until this point, Wolverine had been barely containing the desire to gut the bastard in front of him.  The itch in his hands to unleash his claws and drive them home was almost overwhelming.  Allowing his anger to finally overtake him, Logan unsheathed one claw and started stalking toward the team leader, intent on making his point.

"ENOUGH!"  The Professor's voice startled them all, ringing out loud and clear with no room for misunderstanding.  He demanded instant obedience and expected all parties to adhere.

Remy leaned over to whisper in Ororo's ear.  "Remy t'inks dis be our cue to leave, padnat."  Ororo nodded her head and lifted off the wall.  Remy got his legs under him and turned to leave.

"Hold it right there you two."  Both froze in their tracks at the Professor's command.  "I am gravely disappointed that you would both stand by and let an argument among fellow team mates escalate into possible violence.  I want to see you both in my office in one hour."  With that, he dismissed them.

Storm flew off, but Remy paused a moment.  ~Merde~ he thought to himself.  A few more minutes and he would have figured out what the conversation was all about.  Well, he would just have to charm it out of his lover later this evening.  With that resolve, Remy turned and retreated to the house.

Logan placed his hands on his hips as he turned to address the man.  "Ya know what this is about, Chuck, and I ain't backing down.  It's something I gotta do and ya know that." 

Bringing his hand up to squeeze the bridge of his nose, the Professor sighed.  "Yes, Logan.  Unfortunately, I am all too aware of the situation."  He turned his gaze towards the man he considered a son.  "Scott, the choice is Logan's.  We will respect his wishes and support his decision.  Have I made myself clear?"

Scott nodded his head, his face plainly showing the disapproval he felt at that order.  Xavier then turned his attention to the older man.  "Logan, please take tonight to think it over.  And if you still feel this is the best course of action in the morning, then remember that you will always have a place with us."  After receiving a nod from Logan, the Professor moved his hover chair past them towards the mansion. 

Logan turned back to the team leader, a smug look on his face, and pulled out a cigar, placing it between his teeth.  Baring his fangs in a mock grin, he strolled past the team leader.  "And that, as they say, is that.  Now, if ya'll excuse me, I've got some thinking to do."  He pointedly ignored the muttered curses coming from one-eye.

*********

Remy searched for Logan and finally found him in the Danger Room, working off some pent up energy.  The wild man was busy slashing and hacking his way through dozens of holographic enemies.  He half-toyed with the idea of turning off the simulation and dragging the older man up to his room for a different form of exercise, then later take the man to Harry's to shoot some pool and down some beers.  But, with his empathic abilities, Remy could tell that the feral was enraged, on the edge of berserker mode.  Suddenly, his plan, codenamed 'Afternoon Delight', didn't sound so viable.  Having an appreciation for the important role that intestines play in bodily functions, he decided that having them skewered by his lover for interrupting a Danger Room session was detrimental to his health.

Glancing at the clock, Remy sighed and wisely removed his hands from the control panel.  He only had a few minutes before he was due in the Professor's office anyway.  Normally, he would relish in being tardy to any meeting, especially if said meeting was organized by team leader Summers.  But, he had respect for the telepath for some odd reason, even to the point of leaving the Professor's bank accounts in tact.  He shook his head, chuckling to himself, over the fact that it was a telepath that earned his respect so, considering Remy always made it clear he had no love for spooks.  With one last look through the observation panes, he turned to make his way to the Professor's office.

Standing outside Xavier's office, he knocked and waited for permission to enter.  Once he received the word, he opened the door and walked in, noting that Storm was already present and standing in front of the Professor's desk.  On the other side of the desk, Xavier hovered in his chair while Cyclops stood behind his mentor.  Remy frowned for a moment when he saw the team leader, but quickly slid his impassive mask back in place and tightened his shields.

"Ah Gambit, so glad you could join us."  The use of his codename did not bode well for the Cajun as he moved to stand beside Ororo.

"Greetings Professeur.  Before we get started, I want to say dat Stormy have nuttin' to do wit dis.  She come down to see what was happenin'.  De popcorn was all my doing and she be dere only a minute before you show up."  Remy didn't even turn to look at the weather goddess as he rushed out her excuse, hoping she would be dismissed from the proceedings and not be reprimanded as he surely was about to be.

Xavier blinked at the boy for a moment and then turned his gaze to Storm.  "Is this true Ororo?"

Storm hesitated, clearly uncomfortable with Remy taking all the blame, then nodded slowly.  "Yes, Professor.  It is true that I had only shown up right before you.  However, I must point out that Remy, too, had only just arrived a few minutes before me.  And, while I may not have been part of the plan to bring popcorn, I did partake of the snack."

"Popcorn?"  Scott seemed nonplussed and graced both team mates with a scowl. 

Xavier held his hand up in warning for Scott to remain silent, then focused his attention back to the other two in the room.  He let out a deep sigh of exasperation and looked all of his considerable age, old and tired.  "I trust you both understand what a tragedy it would be if we stand by and do nothing while others in the team fight amongst themselves, especially if the damage ultimately leads to irreparable rifts within the family."  The snort that Remy couldn't help escape earned a glare from the Professor before he continued.  "Yes family, Remy.  That includes you."  Seeing the Cajun's head dip with a slight flushing of the cheek, the Professor concluded.  "Everyone has warts and it is expected that some personalities will clash periodically, even in the tightest of family units.  But, it is the effort made by each member of that family to keep the unit together despite these differences that is important.  We must not let arguments go without resolution or compromise if we wish to keep our team cohesive.  Have I made myself clear?" 

Seeing both team members nod their heads, he dismissed Storm, leaving Remy with a slightly confused and apprehensive look.  Ororo glanced back once to her adoptive brother in concern before leaving the office, shutting the door behind her.

The Professor turned all his attention on the thief.  "Gambit, there is another matter we wish to discuss with you."

"It's about your relationship with Logan."  Scott cut in with a tone of disgust.

Remy cocked his head slightly and looked at the team leader, a serious glint in his eye.  "What go on between Logan and me be none of your business, homme.  If dis what you want to talk 'bout, you can save it."  Turning his gaze to the Professor, he continued.  "If dis be one of dem warts you talking 'bout, den you best find a way to look past it.  For de family's sake and all dat." he spat. 

The Professor shook his head.  "No, that's not what this is about.  Scott, perhaps it would be best if I spoke to Remy alone." 

Scott's mouth opened in shock as he stared at his mentor.  "But Professor, I.."

Remy cut him off before he could finish his statement.  "You heard de man, homme.  Don't let de door hit you in de ass on de way out."  A satisfied smirk appeared on his face as he dismissed the sputtering team leader.

Scott stomped out of the office in a huff, slamming the door behind him.  With him gone, the Professor turned to Remy and steepled his hands below his chin, a grim set to his mouth.  "There's something you need to know, as I fear Logan may not tell you himself.  And….And I'm hoping your unique bond may sway his decision."  As Remy listened, his smile slowly faded.

***************

Leaving.

Logan was leaving.

Remy couldn't wrap his head around that one fact.  He tried hard to listen to everything the Professor told him, the reasons behind Wolverine's sudden desire to leave and go across country to investigate a rumor that may or may not have something to do with his time in Weapon X.  But, the blood rushing to his ears and the dizziness he felt at hearing the man he loved was leaving was overwhelming, blocking everything else from sinking in.  To make matters worse, he had to hear it not from Logan, but from a third party.  That thought hurt more than anything else. 

There was nothing for him to do but retreat to the roof, the one place in the mansion where he could think.  He sat there the rest of the afternoon, smoking several cigarettes, pondering the matter.  The burn of the smoke in his lungs as he held it a few moments seemed to center him.  Exhaling slowly, he removed the cigarette from between his teeth and replaced it with the tip of his thumb.  Logan was leaving to go across the country.  It might as well be the other side of the planet as far as Remy's heart was concerned.  Gone was gone, distance aside. 

It had to be karma.  The saying 'what goes around comes around' playing over and over in his mind.  He was a hormonally charged teenage boy, looking for constant release like any other.  The difference being, he was completely experienced for better or worse by the time those hormones hit.  And once they hit, well, he would charm even the staunchest of virgins into bed, irregardless of sexual orientation.  Though he never stayed with any partner more than once, he knew that there was more than one that was left with a broken heart.  No one could ever complain that they weren't treated royally by the Cajun thief during any sexual encounter.  But that didn't alleviate the pain some would feel at the realization they meant nothing to the boy other than a little fun in the hay. 

As with all teenage boys, Remy grew older and opened up to new possibilities.  Yet, his lot in love had been cast as far as fate was concerned.  It was funny to him how the love them and leave them Cajun thief was, in fact, the one being loved and left.  First, there was Belle, though technically he was the one to physically leave.  Then, there was Rogue.  She left him in the worst possible way, an ordeal he barely survived.  And now……now he was being left by the one person who meant more to him than anyone - definitely karma at work.

Night fell and he still sat there, staring into nothing, trying to resolve his feelings on the whole situation.  With no cancer sticks left in his pack, it was time to face the inevitable.  But, he wouldn't let the man leave without one last memory, and perhaps a reason to come back, or even stay.

It didn't take long to descend from the shingles above to the top floor within the mansion where Logan's room was situated.  The door to the man's room was closed, but that didn't normally stop him.  Remy knocked gently and entered without waiting for a reply.  The room was always relatively sparse in terms of décor, but at the moment it seemed completely vacant.  Several personal items that the older man usually kept on the shelf of one wall were missing. 

"Cher?" Remy slid further into the room and caught the feral packing clothes in a duffel bag. 

Logan stopped and turned his head towards his companion, a look on his face that was almost regret.  "Hey Gumbo."  He spared another moment to look the Cajun in the eye before turning his attention back to his satchel.

"Whatcha doing, Logan?"  It was quite obvious what was taking place, even without the knowledge imparted to him by the Professor.  But, he needed to hear it from the older man directly.

"I'm packin', Cajun.  What's it look like?" 

"Where…" There was a hard swallow in a suddenly dry throat making it difficult to hide his turmoil.  "Where you off to?"

Logan stopped and placed his hands on his hips, lowering his head to his chest with a long sigh before turning completely towards the thief.  "I'm going cross country.  There's somethin' I gotta check out." 

Remy sat on the edge of the bed and began toying with the cover.  "Oh.  Need some comp'ny, mon ami?"

"Nah.  I'm goin' alone."  At the dip in the boy's head, Logan closed the distance and grabbed Remy's chin, lifting it up so red on black eyes met his.  "It has to do with my past.  I need….It's somethin' I need to do by myself.  Can ya understand?" 

"Yeh I do.  Is dere anyt'ing I can do to help?"  At the sweet smile he received from the younger man, Logan brushed back bangs that had fallen into the boy's face, taking the opportunity to trail a thumb along a fine cheekbone.

"There is one thing."

No other words were needed to interpret the meaning.  As Logan moved to the door to lock it, Remy started removing his clothes.  No matter how he felt, or how excruciating the pain in his chest over the thought of Logan leaving, he would not let the other man know.  Instead, he determined to make this night as wonderful as possible, to build a memory for both of them that would never fade.

Stepping toward the feral, Remy unbuttoned the older man's shirt and slid it off his shoulders, taking a moment to appreciate the sculpted biceps.  Both men made short work of their pants, slipping them off to stand before one another completely exposed.  Logan reached up to pull Remy down into a searing kiss that left them both breathless, the boy all but melting into him.  He took the opportunity to guide his lover to the bed, pushing him down gently.  Enraptured at the sight beneath him, his hands started moving and stroking every inch of flesh on the boy.  The passion quickly overwhelmed them both, stoking the flames between them. 

But Remy needed more.  With an amazing burst of strength, he pushed the heavier body above until they rolled and reversed positions.  Immediately, Remy moved down to suckle Logan's weeping erection, savoring the taste and scent that defined the older man.  Unable to wait any longer, Remy lifted up and straddled his lover, taking him to the hilt in one swift motion.  This was what Remy wanted, to feel the man he loved fill him completely and take away the emptiness in his soul.  Head flung back in ecstasy, he rode the man, pouring all of himself into every movement.  But he was overwhelmed by his emotions.  He couldn't hold them back no matter how hard he tried and all of his strength left him as he fell forward onto Logan, letting the feral and the delicious friction between their bodies do most of the work.

Below him, Logan was in heaven.  This was what Logan wanted, to feel sheer bliss if only for a short while, and push back all the uncertainty and all the darkness.  He felt the boy fall forward and he immediately shifted positions, grabbing Remy's hips, planting both feet on the bed and thrusting at an angle upwards into the body draped over him.  Chin to chin, he closed his eyes and grinned, giving himself over to his wilder nature.  Lust, sweat, pheromones - the scent of sex filled his nostrils.  Skin against skin, grunts, moans, whimpers - the sound of sex filled his ears.  A drop of wetness striking his jaw and rolling down the side of his neck - the feel of sex…..was an odd sensation.  Brows furrowing, he felt more wetness rolling down both sides of his neck, the smell of salt helping to bring back his scattered senses.

Logan opened his eyes and looked up to face above his.  Remy's eyes were screwed shut, held tight almost as if he were trying to damn the flow of tears tracking down his cheeks.  A myriad of emotions played across the boy's features - desire and longing, joy and pain, want and need, hope and despair.  Logan stretched his senses and found that he could feel them.  And above them all was one burning brightly, one that Logan hadn't felt in too many years, one that had him gasp in surprise.  Dominating the mix was the unmistakable tang of love.

Suddenly, this was about more than physical satisfaction.  Suddenly, this was one of the most important moments in his long life.  The mindless, frantic rutting was no longer what Logan wanted.  He slowed his pace to a smooth, languid rhythm, more concerned now with the emotional as well as physical connection, and earned a whimpering sigh of contentment from the boy.  Reaching one hand up to gently wipe away the moisture from Remy's cheek, he stared deeply into the exotic orbs that opened in confusion.  They both moved, never breaking eye contact, each pouring all into the other, until finally it was too much. 

Remy lay on top of Logan, his face buried into the crook of the older man's neck.  They were spent, completely sated and struggling to bring breathing under control, chests heaving.  There was nothing that either desired more at this point than to fall asleep, wrapped in the arms of the other.  But, Remy knew he overstepped his bounds and let things flow between them that shouldn't have.  He didn't want to influence Logan's emotions with his own special abilities.  It was too important that the older man make his own choices.  So, Remy got off the bed, searching for his clothes in order to leave, as he always did after their sexual trysts.  He was hard-pressed to control the sadness that was threatening to drown him. 

A pair of arms encircling his waist startled him for a moment.  "Don't go Remy.  Stay for once.  Stay tonight."

He closed his eyes and took a deep breath, hand clasping on one of Logan's forearms.  "Cher, what you be feeling right now, it ain't real.  I..It de charm power.  Sometime it slip and it be affecting you."  Remy patted Logan's arm and tried to slip free.  "It'll pass soon 'nuff."

"No.  I don't believe that for a moment.  But, I won't argue with ya and try to make ya understand what I'm feeling.  All I'm askin' is for tonight.  I want….I need….ah, hell, Gumbo, just say ya'll stay."

Afraid of the crack in his voice, Remy nodded and followed the older man back to bed, curling on his side.  He felt Logan spoon behind him and shifted closer to the warmth of the feral's body.  It was stupid and weak.  The pain would only be magnified come morning.  But, he couldn't deny the request, and he couldn't deny his own desires.  So he decided to indulge himself and take what was being offered, if only for tonight.

*********

Logan woke shortly before dawn.  He was completely relaxed, and smiled as the memory of the previous night's activities slowly returned.  Reaching out for his partner, his hand connected with nothing.  He sat up and looked around the room, but his enhanced senses told him what he already knew.  Remy was no longer with him.  Sighing heavily at the sudden emptiness in his heart, he hauled his carcass out of bed and made ready to leave.  There was still some packing that needed to be done, and he wanted to check his bike one last time after grabbing a bite to eat.

No one else was awake yet as he finally made it to the garage.  That was fine by him as he had never been one for goodbyes.  Strapping his bags to the back, he was running his hands lovingly over the chrome when his senses picked up another presence.  Stilling his hand, he flared his nostrils and inhaled a familiar flavor that once held him captive.

"Hey Jeannie.  Come to see me off?"

"Logan.  I know it's pointless to try and stop you from going, so I want to wish you luck and tell you to be careful."  She moved closer to him, tucking a strand of hair behind one ear.  "Come back to us, Logan."

He turned to face her and grinned.  "Come back to us?  Come back to you, ya mean.  Look Jeannie, I'm flattered and all, but ya already got Sco…"

"No Logan" she interrupted.  She stood in front of him and raised her hand as if to touch his face tenderly.  Only inches from his cheek, she paused and shifted her hand to his shoulder.  "Come back to him."

For a moment, he was shocked at the words, but not quite surprised that she knew what he was feeling, and what took place between him and Remy.  He laid a beefy hand on top of hers and graced her with a genuine smile.  Then he turned and mounted his bike, glancing back in the hopes that the boy would appear to see him off.  After waiting a few more minutes, he looked once more at Jean as she smiled at him, then he was off.

He rolled down the long, winding driveway, refusing to look back as he approached the main gate.  It opened automatically and he revved up, preparing to turn onto the road when he caught wind of something.  Turning his head to the side, he saw the boy leaning against the outer wall, smoking a cigarette and staring at him.  Logan dropped the kickstand and shut the motor off, dismounting his bike, and walked over to stand in front of the Cajun.

"Hallo, Logan.  It's a beau mornin' for a ride, non?"  The smile on his face was forced, as was the cheeriness in his voice.

"Hey kid.  Missed ya when I woke up."  But, that got a reaction.  For a moment, the boy's smile faltered before the mask slid back in place.

"Mais, Remy t'ink you need to finish a few t'ings before your trip.  Didn't wanna be in de way."  He was determined to give the man space, let him make his own choice.  "You gon' now?"  At the nod he received from the older man, he flicked his cigarette to the ground and smiled.  "Well den, have fun.  Be seein' you 'round."

As he turned to leave, Logan reached out and grabbed his arm.  "Wait.  There's somethin' I need to say."  He looked deep into Remy's eyes and reached one hand up to brush back auburn strands.  "Last night I realized somethin'.  I realized ya mean more to me than I ever thought anyone could.  It's killin' me to leave without knowing if I was just imaginin' that you were feelin' the same."  Logan moved both hands to cup Remy's face.  "Tell me, Cajun.  Tell me ya want me to stay."

Remy smiled sadly as he grasped both of Logan's hands in his own.  "Non, cher.  If I do dat, you never forgive me.  Dis is somet'ing you need to do."  At the crestfallen expression on Logan's face, he leaned down and placed a chaste kiss on the older man's lips.  "But if you need me, you know how to find me.  Just say de word and Remy will come.  And when you get ready to come back, I'll be here."

It was more than Logan could hope for, and all he truly expected to hear.  Nodding his head, he turned and made his way back to the bike, mounting and starting the motor.  He revved the engine a few times and released the kickstand, looking back at the boy one more time.  "I'll be back, Remy."  One last shared gaze and he drove off.

As he watched Logan disappear, he no longer tried to hold back his tears.  "And I'll be waiting for you" he whispered.  "I love you, Logan."

The End.