X-Men Fan Fiction ❯ Memories ❯ Logan ( Chapter 3 )

Chapter Three: Logan

 

“Oh God.” Logan fell off the bed, landing on the floor in a mess of pillows and blankets. What the fuck was that? Something had startled him in his sleep, and he had jumped up. It was surprising, as nothing those days ever seemed to startle him. He had seen to much to really feel affected by anything that much, and ever since the day they'd escaped from Alkali Lake he never had the nightmares of when he was experimented on. He sighed and snatched up the things that had fallen on the floor, tossing them carelessly back on the bed before laying back down again.

 

Here he was again, in another dingy roadside motel room with dirty walls and dirty sheets. After having lived at the school, he realized how bad he lived before that. Sure, he made good money and was free to do what he wanted, but sometimes he missed the school. For a while it actually felt like a home to him, unlike the places he stayed now. He lay there for a while, sleep escaping him, and in the bleak darkness he began to wonder what had disturbed him so badly that it had actually woken up, and why it was that he couldn't fall asleep again. He'd always been an easy sleeper. He could sleep almost anywhere because that was how he had always lived.

 

Still, there was this uneasy feeling in the pit of his stomach that wouldn't go away. It made him think about her. Marie. It had been so long since he'd seen her last and he wondered if she was doing okay. He hoped she was good, and happy. His heart told him otherwise. The circumstances of their separation had been difficult for him to deal with and he had weighed his decision for some time before he made it. Then there were certain events that had influenced his final decision, and though he regretted his choice, he knew it was best for her. That time he hadn't even left her a note to tell her goodbye. He had almost hoped that if he broke her heart and made her hate him, that it would be easier for her to move on with her life. She didn't deserve the kind of life he led.

 

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He could feel it in her kiss, that familiar tingle of power and it made him pull away. He could feel himself grow a little weaker, but he didn't say anything to her about it. They had settled in after that and he held her in his arms that night. It was something that he'd wanted to do for the longest time, as he had come to see that Marie was no longer that kid he'd picked up in Laughlin City. She had grown up so much since then and had bloomed into a beautiful, headstrong woman and it made him proud to be around her. She was everything to him and she held a place in his heart that even Jean couldn't have been able to fill.

 

Still, what he had felt earlier was disturbing. He wondered if she really could be regaining her powers. He couldn't believe that the cure could fail like that, but it had never been properly tested before they started using it on mutants. No one knew how long the effects would last. He feared how Marie would react if her powers returned. She had always seemed happy, but there was always that constant, hidden fear in her eyes whenever she got to close to someone. Since she'd taken the cure, that fear was gone and she seemed more at ease around other people. It was so nice to see confidence in her eyes these days.

 

He frowned. He still had some regrets about letting her come with him. She had given up any chances of moving past this phase of her life. She had so much to look forward to if she had stayed at the school. Storm was a wonderful role model and he knew that she would have guided Marie to move on to college and to a successful life away from the struggle that the mutants were going through. He had been thinking for a while about finding some way for her to go back or for some way to take her back himself, but he didn't know how. She would always come after him, he knew that. He could tell that she loved him, and not just in a platonic sense, she truly loved him. He'd never voice it, but his heart felt the same for her. That thought made him smile. This was what it was like to feel love and to be loved back; something that had been one sided in his relationship with Jean. Then again, he had never really expected much of an intimate relationship with her, but it was nice to pretend that he did.

 

He felt Marie move in his arms and he looked down at her. She was beautiful and he almost felt as though he didn't deserve her. He loved her, but damn it all, what kind of life could they have together. That was when it dawned on him: they couldn't. If she regained her powers, then they could never touch, never fully express their feelings for one another. He had seen how much it had crushed her when she couldn't get close to Bobby, and his affections began to linger elsewhere. And even if they didn't, there could be a lot of trouble for them. Him, being a mutant, was a problem within itself, but the fact that she was sympathetic towards mutants and if she was involved with one could be disastrous for her. As much as he hated it, he couldn't be there every minute of every day to protect her. Even more, a life on the road can take a toll on the traveler. She seemed like the kind to want to settle down and have a family, and he didn't know if he'd be able to give it to her. The road was no place for children and he wondered if he'd ever be able to stay rooted in one place. He wanted to give her everything, but he didn't know if he was actually able to give it to her. It was then, that moment in the dark, when he decided what he had to do.

 

Silently, he slipped away from her, rifling through the dark room for his clothes and his bag. He got dressed as quick as he could and grabbed his bag, swinging it over his shoulder as he walked toward the door, a heaviness weighing down on his heart. He glanced back at her, sleeping soundly and still thinking that he was there beside her, holding her in his arms. He slipped the bag from his shoulder and set it by the door as he turned back and went to her side. And he kissed her on her head and ran his fingers through her long locks of hair, and almost changed his mind about going. But his resolve was too strong. He told himself that he was doing this for her. And he left, taking his motorcycle from the back of their truck and speeding away into the night.

 

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Logan groaned and tossed the pillow across the room. He still couldn't fall asleep, and it didn't seem like he would do so anytime soon. Then it struck him. He could tell when something was wrong, when something needed his attention, and he wondered if this was one of those moments. He realized that, maybe, something had happened to Marie. He wasn't sure, but this feeling was gnawing away at him the more that he thought about it. And perhaps it was because he tried so hard not to think of her at times like this, alone in the darkness and feeling that deep loneliness in his life without her. I have to go see her. I have to make sure that she's okay. He knew that he was going to have to go back to where he'd left her and look for her there. He wasn't even sure if she would have stayed there, after all she might have tried to find him or she could have gone back to the school. She could have gone anywhere by now, but it was the only rational place for him to start looking. Perhaps someone heard or was told where she might have gone.

 

He threw the covers off and flicked on the light over the bed. It was barely three o'clock in the morning, but he had to get moving. He had to go. It would take him a while to get back to that little town, but he had to go. Some invisible force was driving him to it. I just have to see her and I'll know she's fine. She doesn't even have to see me, as long as I see her, and if she looks happy, then I'll go. I'm sure I'm just being stupid about this, but it's better to know. He was dressed by now, and was out the door. And once again he found himself speeding away through the darkness, but this time he was going to her instead of away from her.

 

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---A Week Later---

 

God, it's all so familiar. It was almost midnight by the time he'd arrived in the sleepy mountain town. The streets were quiet, aside from the rumble of his motorcycle, and all the shops were closed up. There was no chance he'd find anything out at this time of night. Besides, he'd been riding for almost two days without any sleep and had just enough cash to get himself a room for the night. Before that, he had done some odd jobs to earn some cash, and that took up about three days of his time. But now he was here, and there was no way that he was going back. And he ended up back in that motel where he had last been with her, and it was overwhelming to say the least. He wondered if he would even be able to sleep there, despite being ungodly tired. He pushed her from his thoughts, hoping that he'd be able to get at least a few hours of sleep before he started looking for her.

 

He was up with the sun the next day and was already in town by the time the town came back to life for the day. Shopkeepers and store owners came creeping through the streets in their trucks and cars, dressed casually. And here he was, on a souped-up motorcycle in biker boots and a leather jacket. It was quite the contrast. He eventually pulled off to the side of the road and parked the bike, somewhere along the main street in town where he could watch the early morning hustle-and-bustle. He really didn't know where to start looking or who to ask, but it didn't take long for someone to come to him.

 

“Logan?” She had startled him, as he didn't expect anybody around here to know him. She was a woman who looked like she was in her thirties and was standing precariously a few feet from him. “Are you Logan?”

 

“Yea, who's asking?” He raised an eyebrow at her and she smiled. He felt uncomfortable with this. What the hell is going on here? Why does this broad know my name? He gave a less than enthusiastic smile back.

 

“Oh! I'm sorry. I was just surprised to see you here after all this time. I'm Carla.” She held out a hand to him. He took it and gave it an easy shake.

 

“Nice to meet you, uh, Carla. Mind telling me how you know my name?” He crossed his arms and looked at her as he waited for an answer. She didn't seem like anyone he knew and it was suspicious of her.

 

“I recognize you from some photos that my friend Marie has. She said your name was Logan. In fact, she was asking about you a while ago, asked if I remembered you.” He was surprised to hear her name, and he was hopeful now. He knew that she was still here, and from the sounds of it she was doing okay. He smiled at the mention of photographs of him. She loved taking those damned things.

 

“So, she's living here. Where is she now, do you know?” Carla thought a minute, putting a hand to her mouth as she furrowed her brow in thought.

 

“Well, I haven't seen her in a few days, but then again, she doesn't come into town unless she needs something. Last time I saw her though, she wasn't feeling to well. She said something about being dangerous and not being able to touch her. And she was having these terrible headaches and bouts of nausea. I really can't recall much after that, but I do remember an older gentleman asking if she was okay. But anyway, look at me carrying on. If you want to find her, your best bet is to go to her house. Just follow that road up the mountain a bit, there's a turn off onto a dirt trail. Keep on down that path and you'll come to an old hunting cabin, that's where she's living. I'm sure she'll be glad to see you.” She point to a road that went into the mountains and became obscured by trees. He thanked her and walked away, moving briskly back down the sidewalk to where his motorcycle was.

 

Before he knew it, he was up the mountain. It was easy enough finding the dirt trail the woman had told him about. However, the trail was long and hard to get down, and he had to stop more than once to get the motorcycle around deep potholes and thickets of mud. Eventually he could see the cabin in the distance and turned of the motorcycle, coasting off to the side of the trail and leaving it behind some brush. I'm only here to see her. I don't want her to see me. He sighed, and walked along the trail and up to the cabin. He smiled. The old truck was there, parked up along the side of the place.

 

It was odd though, that it appeared that she was home, but there wasn't a single light on that he could see. It might be that she was still sleeping, but if she was still the same Marie that he knew, then she was already up and about by now. And it was daylight, but the tree's cast a shadow over the cabin and it had to be dark inside. He became worried. The woman had told him some things that had bothered him. Marie wasn't feeling well, and it sounded like the worst had happened. Her powers had come back, and obviously it had to have been devastating to her. She was a strong young woman, but he wasn't sure how well she would have been able to cope with something like that.

 

He got worried, and made his way up to the cabin. Up on the porch, he looked into the windows. It was dark, and there was no sign of her anywhere in the main part of the house. And what was more was the mix of smells all around him. Her scent was heaviest in the air, but it was also old. Remnants of her. He could tell that she hadn't been home in a while. Yet, the beat up pickup truck was here. Then there was the scent of another person here. Male, that was for sure, and it was one that he recognized. Pyro. Logan growled. If that punk had been there, it wasn't good. He looked around; there was no sign that there had been a struggle anywhere outside, and the only tire tracks were from the truck. If they had taken her, they hadn't taken her by car. It was obvious now, that she was not anywhere nearby, and against his better judgment, he put a hand on the knob of the front door and gave it a turn. It's unlocked. Cautiously, he made his way inside.

 

It was easy to tell that this was her home. There were pictures everywhere, and they looked like they had been taken by her. It had a cozy feel to it and had that effeminate flare. He looked around some, and saw the picture that the woman, Carla, had mentioned. It was of him and Marie at a lookout point. He wasn't quite sure where they had been, but she had insisted that they get a picture of it, claiming that one day she'd have a place to put all of those photos. Now she does. It looked like a happy home, and she seemed to be well off enough. She probably had a job somewhere and lived comfortably. He wondered, though, why she would keep a photograph of them. He thought that with what he did to her, that she wouldn't want anything to do with him.

 

To his left was a door into her room, he cracked it open and peeked inside. The room was empty, and was a mess. The bed hadn't been made, and the covers were partially on the bed, partially on the floor, the pillows sitting awkwardly. And the drawers in her dresser were askew and pulled open. He walked over and looked at them, they were empty. It certainly looked like something had gone on in here. Maybe not a struggle, but it looked like she had been in a hurry to leave, if all she took were her clothes. She was definitely in a rush to uproot herself from this place. And he wondered what for. Why could she possibly want to leave? It was doubtful that she knew he was coming, but then again Pyro had been here. Perhaps he had said something to her that made her leave, or, as much as it made him grimace, they could have left together. Still, it would take a lot to make her willingly leave with someone that she knew was trouble.

 

A thought struck him. If she had regained her powers, who else might have? There were so many mutants from the Brotherhood that had been administered the cure, though not by free will, and there were probably many mutants who would be angry that the cure failed who might turn to the wrong side. Had Marie done so? What could the Brotherhood offer her that might make her choose to join them? They were everything that she was against. He couldn't understand how she could agree to fight against the people who cared about her. She would be fighting everyone at the school, and she would eventually be fighting against him. It made him sick. He had to get out of there and he had to find her. There was no telling where the Brotherhood had holed up now. There was only one place he could think of to turn. “Looks like I'm going back to school.”