X-Men Fan Fiction ❯ Work in progress ❯ Chapter 1 ( Chapter 1 )

[ A - All Readers ]

 

………………

The author rolled over in bed and rubbed her head with a groan. Something had disturbed her much needed beauty sleep. There was something warm and breathing in her bed and she stared startled at it. Oh yeah, her ex boyfriend. They had done things they weren't supposed to do last night. Nothing to worry about.

The author stumbled into her bathroom to brush her teeth. She growled at the ugly picture in the mirror and found the toothbrush. There was someone else in the room. She spun around.

The author faced her own creation and a few X-men; Wolverine, Gambit and Nightcrawler to be exact. Complete with their uniforms and pissed off-expressions.

“What the bloody hell are YOU doing here?!” She spat through the toothbrush and toothpaste.

”Were here to force you to write the rest of the stories you have started.” Her own creation, Nadia answered.

“You have nothing to do here! Go back to the movie-verse, the comic-verse, the book-verse, the fanfic-verse or whatever hell you came from! You can't be here! Out!” The sudden outburst from the author made her sneeze up toothpaste. It tickled and the author had to turn around to spit/chough/ sneeze the toothpaste away

“EEEW! Gross!” The X-men shrieked in unison.

“Do you think we have to help her?” Nightcrawler asked, a little worried. He kind of liked the author, just a little bit.

“Nah. She could just have kept from screaming at us like that.” Nadia, the creation, shrugged.

“Bad motor functions?” Gambit suggested

“Look what I found!” Wolverine growled from the author's bedroom.

The other X-men followed his voice and stared at what they found in the bed.

“I think we just found the reason she has forgotten to write her stories for so long!” Nadia, the evil creation smirked.

Wolverine unsheathed his claws and grinned like a maniac.

 

In the bathroom, The Author was finally done clearing her sinuses from the toothpaste and noticed the X-men was missing and got REALLY worried.

She gasped as she found them in the bedroom.

“Wolverine! Put those claws somewhere else! Gambit! Did you just do what I think you did with that Bo-staff?? Nadia! Put the pillow down! Bad mutants! Bad mutants!”

She marched up to the X-men that didn't even look a tiny bit guilty.

“Don't you ever forget that my author-powers are greater than all of you put together!”

Nightcrawler, that otherwise had behaved nicely, stuck out his tongue behind her back.

“Get back in the kitchen!” The Author raged and grabbed Wolverine by the silly ears of his cowl and Gambit at his ever-present trench coat. She showed all four mutants into the kitchen and slammed the door behind her.

“How dare you show up like this? Have you no idea of…”

“Oh shut up!” Nadia, the annoying evil creation growled back. “You create me, you make me fight the X-men, you make them kill me, you revive me and then you repeat it all again! And you don't even have the decency to finish the two stories! You can't write four fics at the same time!”

“You're the one behind this?” The Author snarled back at her creation. “You have no right to enter my world like this!”

“But you have the right to screw up our world?” Nightcrawler asked calmly.

That shut the author up. A big sweat drop appeared in the middle of nowhere. The X-men stared at it with various degrees of confusion.

“Look…” The author sighed. “I will finish the fics, but I'm just very busy right now. Show some patience, will you?”

“Besides, it's my right as author” She shot Nightcrawler an evil glare.

The X-men stared at each other and grumbled something.

The author grabbed her creation by the hood of her uniform and locked the grey eyes into her blue ones.

“Bt if I EVER find you here again, I swear I'll put you in the Teletubbies! For ever!

“Swear you'll finish the fics!” Her creation growled back at her.

The author narrowed her eyes and powered up. A pen and an easer appeared in her hands. Nadia and Gambit followed her example. Wolverine and Nightcrawler just tried to look dangerous.

Just then the door swung open and The Authors ex boyfriend walked into the room.

“Can I use the bathroom?” He asked

“Sure” The Author said.

The guy walked right through the X-men and shut the bathroom door behind him. The X-men stared.

“Did you see that? Is he a mutant too?” Nightcrawler gasped.

“Just like Kitty!” Wolverine mumbled.

“He's just a flatscan. Leave him alone.” The Author sighed and suddenly felt very, very tired.

“But he just passed right t'rough us!” Gambit pointed out.

“That's because he doesn't know you exist!”

The X-men's faces went blank.

“Who are you talking to?” The ex boyfriend asked from the bathroom.

“No one. It's just the radio.“ The author replied.

“Doesn't know we exist?” Nadia asked.

The Author shook her head.

“Oh.” Her creation said.

“Listen very closely…” The Author said. “Leave this world without more problems or I'll….” She thought about it for a second. “Or I'll write a fic where Wolverine is marrying Magneto, Gambit blows up his #private# parts and Nightcrawler is shaved bald and Sinister body paints him!”

The three X-men looked very pale.

“As for you, my greatest work, I might cut out that hot sex-scene with Sabretooth!”

The three X-men stared at the mutant that brought them into The Author's world.

“You had sex with Sabretooth??” They shrieked in unison.

The author smirked.

“Uh… I… uhm… Its not what it sounds like!” Nadia protested.

The X-men stared back and forth between The Author and Nadia.

“It was her fantasy!” Nadia pointed accusingly at The Author.

“Mine? Of course it was!” The Author just shrugged. “Lets see you worm out of this one!” She grinned at her creation.

Nadia send The Author a hateful glare and suddenly the super-powered-mutant-that-look-a-little-bit-like-the-Author-but-isn't-a-Mar y-Sue-but-rather-an-Accolyte-who-somehow-ended-up-at-the-X-mansion was gone.

“Where did she go?” Gambit asked.

“She was thinking very bad things about me so I send her into the cornfield.” The Author explained.

The X-men oh-ed in unison.

“Can we please go home now?” Nightcrawler asked. “This place is giving me the creeps.”

“Sure. I think I'll write a few more chapters today. This gave me some inspiration. Maybe I should re-write the scene where you finally kill her of…” The Author grinned.

“Me?” Wolverine asked hopefully.

“No, no. No spoilers.” The Author shook her finger at the X-man.

“Goodbye, Author.” The three X-men waved and disappeared.

The Author waved back just as her ex boyfriend returned to the kitchen.

“Who are you waving at?” He asked.

The Author just shrugged.

“You are a very weird girl.” He said.

The Author just smiled her I-have-a-secret-smile.

“I have a question…” He began

“…Why does my butt hurt so much?”