Xenosaga Fan Fiction ❯ 30 Kisses ❯ Not Mine ( Chapter 18 )

[ T - Teen: Not suitable for readers under 13 ]

You are not mine.

I don't think you're aware of it yourself. You think you're mine. You want to be mine. Every gift you give me, every promise you make is filled with that desire. But you are not.

You can't fool me. I was built to observe the world around me. I see it all from the shadow in your eyes when you look at me to the flinch you can't suppress when I say your name. Those things tell me all I need to know.

Actually, I don't mind. Her shadow is too strong between us to ever forget. Even if we did, well . . . as you said, I'm not Her. I don't need you the way She did and I hope I never will. And if I ever did need someone, as much as you want to be that person, I already have my own champion. You're my friend and my ally, but you're not my lover.

I must admit though, I'm glad you're not Hers either.

Oh and you're not His. Maybe you were, once upon a time. However He's dead now and you need to let Him go. You've made Him as happy as I think someone like Him could ever be and He can't hurt anyone else anymore. So please forgive yourself. I think He'd want that too.

You do belong to someone though. He's standing right there beside you, but you're not seeing him. When he gets jealous, when he gets sad, when he wants your attention you're always looking at someone else. At me, at our friends, never at him. Turn around, Rubedo.

And you care for him too. Not in the same way you care for me or cared for Him and Her. Here's someone you've always been there for, someone you haven't failed. Someone who isn't a guilty promise or the shadow of another person.

When are you going to admit you love him?