XXXHolic Fan Fiction ❯ Kitsune Bi - An xXxHolic Fan-Fiction ❯ Three ( Chapter 3 )

Kitsune Bi - An xXxHolic Fan-Fiction
By Ookami Kasumi

All characters property of CLAMP
Warning: Mature (NC-17) - Yaoi content, adult language, mild violence

Chapter Three

 

The sweetly smiling, cinnamon-eyed time-space witch shifted her layered robes and reclined elegantly on her broad seating cushion. “Have a seat, Watanuki-kun, and tell us all about your interesting day!”

Watanuki Kimihiro stared down at her, and swallowed hard.

He was doomed.

Without saying a word, Kimihiro hoisted the large serving tray from his shoulder to settle it on the low folding stand by the round black lacquered dining table. Sweeping his white house-work smock away from his knees and adjusting his head scarf, he knelt by the tray, and began to ladle the oden into bowls. As far as he was concerned, the best way to handle the situation was through blatant diversion.

Luckily, Mokona was sitting right next to his mistress, and he could always be counted on to help.

The small plump bunny-eared creature's mouth opened nearly as wide as his body and crowed in his child-like voice. “Waaaah! Oden! Kitsune oden! He hopped up on the table and headed straight for the tray. “Feed me, Watanuki!”

“Oi!” Kimihiro brandished his soup ladle at the small creature. “Don't walk on the table! I'll bring it to you!” He looked about. He didn't see the furry white streak of the pipe fox, but that didn't mean he wasn't close by, and planning a pounce. “Was the sake warm enough, Yuuko-san?”

Yuuko lifted the sake bottle and waved it. “We're going to need another bottle. This one's empty, Watanuki-kun.”

Kimihiro rolled his eyes while ladling the thick soup into serving bowls. “And just how did it get so empty so fast, Yuuko-san? I just brought that out not ten minutes ago!” He collected the bottle from her hand and scowled. “The bottle hasn't even cooled yet!”

Yuuko smiled broadly and clasped her hands. “I was thirsty!” She gestured broadly. “And so was Mokona and Doumeki-kun.”

“Fine, fine… Another bottle.” Kimihiro set the bottle on the tray. He did not make his usual comment about Doumeki drinking booze while under-aged. He had a really bad feeling that saying anything to Doumeki might lead him back into the conversation he was working hard to avoid. “You know, I do have chilled tea here?”

Yuuko shook her head and smiled broadly. “Sake goes much better with oden!”

Kimihiro rolled his eyes. “According to you, everything goes much better with sake.”

Yuuko lifted her chin and stuck out her full bottom lip, producing an enormous pout. “Well, it does!”

Kimihiro groaned loudly, then walked around the table to set a full bowl and spoon before Mokona.

The small creature skipped the spoon and grabbed the bowl's sides with his paws. Without further adieu, he tipped the bowl, pouring half of the contents straight into his mouth.

Little pig… Kimihiro knocked him lightly on the top of the head. “Oi! Eat it, don't inhale it.” He tucked a paper napkin next to the bowl. “And wipe your chin.”

The small creature set the bowl down and giggled. “Ah! Watanuki-chan will make a good mother!”

“What?” Kimihiro swatted at the little black beast with no real intent to hit him. “That was rude, you animated pork bun!” He moved back around the table to set bowls before Yuuko and Doumeki, along with the appropriate side dishes, spoons, and napkins. He was very careful not to look Doumeki or Yuuko in the eye, though he could feel both of their gazes pressing against him.

“It wasn't rude.” Mokona shook his head, his ears flapping. “I think Watanuki would make a very good mother!”

“Mokona, men don't become mothers!” He set down glasses of chilled oolong tea for himself and Doumeki, then knelt on the seating cushion with Yuuko on his right and Doumeki on his left with Mokona directly across the table. “I can't have children.” He lifted his spoon. “It's a physical impossibility.”

Yuuko blew gently on the soup in her spoon. “Physical impossibility or not, there are those who would like to try.” Her spoon passed her lips and she smiled.

Kimihiro paused with his lifted spoon halfway to his mouth. “Eh?” He frowned at her. “That did not make any sense what so ever.”

Yuuko set her spoon in her bowl and turned to regard Kimihiro with intent. “So, how many men told you that you were beautiful today?”

Just like that, Kimihiro's doom was upon him.

Cold sweat prickled his spine. His gaze shifted to Doumeki. In that instant, he knew it had been a stupid move on his part.

Doumeki was eating his soup with deliberate care, but he was staring hard at Kimihiro. His eyes were the color of cold hard brass, and his brows had drawn close enough together to create a small line between them. Despite the fact that there were no other outward signs of any emotion what so ever, it was perfectly obvious to Kimihiro that Doumeki was furious.

Kimihiro tore his gaze from Doumeki to look over at Yuuko.

She lifted her spoon and smiled. “Well, Watanuki-kun?”

Panic slammed his heart up into his throat. No, no, no… God no, I amnot having this conversation! Desperate to escape, Kimihiro grabbed the empty sake bottle from the serving tray and leapt to his feet. “I'll go heat another bottle.” He bolted for the kitchen at top speed.

Behind him, a loud thump and the rattle of silverware announced that someone's fist had hit the table.

* * *

Safe at last in the kitchen, Kimihiro yanked another bottle of sake from the counter, he had four more lined up, and set it in the pan of water on the stove to heat. He scrubbed at his face. Gods, those two…

Unfortunately, nothing he could do or say would change the fact that the answer to Yuuko's question was three. Haruka-san and that fox-guy had told him straight out, that he was a beautiful boy, and then Doumeki… He winced. Doumeki had said point blank, `you are.'

“Gah!” He grabbed his head. “With so many memories slipping out of my skull why can't that be one of them?” He did not want to know that Doumeki thought he was beautiful. That would imply…feelings, romantic feelings, possibly even sexual feelings.

His mind was suddenly invaded by the image of Doumeki's evil smirk while he slid the blue silk cord into a loop. In that moment, those warm syrupy sensations were back and sliding downward, stealing the blood from his limbs to fill another place entirely. Love play… Love play… Love play…

“Gyaaah!” Kimihiro knocked himself in the head with his knuckles. “Stop that! Stop thinking those thoughts!” He dragged the scarf from his head and scrubbed a hand through his hair. “I sooo need to soak my head.”

And take a cold shower.

Kimihiro froze where he stood. To his complete and utter horror, he had an erection. Slowly he looked down. His blousy smock hid the sight of the tent he knew was in his pants, but that didn't change the fact that his pants were indeed straining at his zipper because his dick was hard. Almost painfully hard.

A squeak of shock escaped him. Still staring downward, he set his hands on his hips. “What the hell is this?” He was well aware that his body occasionally did things he couldn't control. Walking into Yuuko's shop was one of them, crying at sappy movies was another, but this…? This was… This was totally uncalled for! Not to mention, rude. He pointed at his dick. “You cut that out right now!”

“Watanuki-kun, is something wrong?” The voice was smooth, elegant, feminine, and the last voice he really needed to hear, beyond one other.

Crap! Kimihiro straightened so fast he achieved a crick in his neck. “I… Everything's fine.” Keeping his back firmly to the door, he waved a hand jauntily. “Nothing's wrong!” Oh gods, please let her not have seen me talking to my…self.

“I see…” The slightest chuckle of amusement escaped her. “Is the sake ready?”

“Yes!” Kimihiro jumped for the stove and shut off the heat to the pan. “Yes, it is. I'll bring it out right away!”

“Oh, and you'd better hurry if you don't want Mokona to finish your dinner for you.”

Kimihiro stiffened and felt cool strengthening anger flooding through him. “Tell that little bottomless pit that if he touches my bowl, I'm having black pork bun for lunch tomorrow!”

Yuuko's laughter trilled out. “Oh! You know that he loves you!”

Kimihiro rolled his eyes. “Oh, yes…!” He threw up his hands. “Everybody loves me!”

“Well, you're just so sweet, no one can resist you.”

“Sweet?” Kimihiro very nearly stomped his foot. He turned around to face her and jabbed a finger at his chest. “Yuuko-san, I am about as sweet as a persimmon!” It was the sourest food he could think of.

Yuuko tapped her lips with a finger and tilted her head coyly. “Ah, but you forget; there are those who really like persimmons!”

Kimihiro tugged at his hair. “Yuuko-san, that is not the point!”

“Oh, but I think it is.” She turned and walked away from the door, trailing giggles.

“Stupid…!” Kimihiro turned back around to pull the warmed bottle from the pan on the stove. “Stupid Haruka-san, stupid fox guy, stupid Doumeki…” He set a cloth around the bottle so as not to burn his hands while carrying it. He took a deep breath and released it. “And stupid me.” His jaw set, and his step firm, he headed back out to the dinner table.

On the positive side, his short temper had made his condition go away.

On the negative side, he just knew that he was heading back to face monumental embarrassment.

* * *

By the time Kimihiro dropped to his knees at the table, he had worked his temper to a froth. With careful deliberation, he removed the cork from the sake bottle then set on the table's center with a thump. “Three. That is the answer to your question Yuuko-san.” He turned to glare at her. “Are you pleased?”

Yuuko lifted her cup, indicating that Kimihiro should fill it. “Well, if three men told me that I was beautiful, I'd be very pleased.”

Kimihiro lifted the bottle to pour for her and spoke through clenched teeth. “Yuuko-san, in case you haven't noticed, I am not a woman!”

Mokona waved his cup. “Mokona is drinking! Mokona is drinking too!”

Doumeki lifted his cup as well.

Kimihiro filled Mokona's cup, then turned to snarl at Doumeki. “You should not be drinking! Especially on a school night!”

Doumeki merely continued to hold his cup out, his gaze steady and focused.

Kimihiro felt his cheeks warming. He filled the cup just to look at something other than Doumeki's face. “I don't want to hear it when your head hurts tomorrow.” He turned away and set the bottle down by Yuuko with a thump.

Yuuko lifted the bottle and smiled. “I think perhaps it is time to tell you about the birds and the butterflies.”

Kimihiro blinked at her. “Do you mean `the birds and the bees'?”

Yuuko sloshed sake into Mokona's freshly emptied cup. “For you, butterflies are a better analogy than bees.”

Kimihiro picked up his abandoned bowl of oden and waved his spoon in dismissal. “I already know that stuff. We had a class on it in my freshman year.” That had been the most frightening two hours of his life. He'd had no idea that physical intimacy could bring so many fatal diseases. He shivered briefly.

Yuuko laughed softly. “That was for intimate relationships between men and women. You, I feel, are going to need a crash course on the other type of intimate relationship.”

Kimihiro chewed, frowning. Other type…?

Yuuko leaned closer. “How men conduct intimacy with other men.”

Kimihiro froze in complete shock for an entire heartbeat, then sucked in a sharp breath. The bite he'd been chewing abruptly went down the wrong pipe. He coughed hard to get his breath back. “Yuuko-san…!” He set his bowl down with a thump. “I am eating! Such things are not something one discusses at the dinner table! And certainly not something I would ever consider discussing in front of…” He tilted his head toward Doumeki. “…Other people!”

Yuuko twirled her finger in the air. “Such things are not something you would ever consider discussing, period.”

Kimihiro nodded. “That too.”

Yuuko shook her head, all amusement gone from her expression. “Watanuki-kun, considering how events are progressing, I feel that this is a discussion that cannot occur soon enough.”

Kimihiro blinked at her. “Events…? What are you saying?”

Doumeki lifted his cup toward his lips. “She's saying, forewarned is forearmed.” He sipped.

Kimihiro looked over at him in total confusion. He was in agreement on having this…discussion? He turned away and rolled his eyes. But of course, it's yet another chance to completely embarrass me.

Yuuko sloshed the sake bottle. “You have until this bottle empties.” She squinted at the light passing through the thick glass. “Hmm… I suggest you finish your dinner quickly.”

Kimihiro grabbed his bowl. He would not, would not have this discussion, not in front of Doumeki. “Discuss whatever you like. I'm eating in the kitchen.” A large warm hand closed on his ankle. Kimihiro froze then looked down at his captured ankle. Doumeki's hand was around it.

Doumeki gave Kimihiro a slightly annoyed look. “Don't be an idiot.”

Kimihiro's cheeks filled with warmth and heat began to pool in low places. He jerked his gaze away, clutching his soup bowl as if it were a shield. “I have no intention of sitting here just so you can embarrass me.”

“Oh please…” Doumeki snorted and rolled his eyes. “You embarrass yourself all the time.” His hand remained firmly around Kimihiro's ankle.

Kimihiro glared at him. “Let go.”

Doumeki glared right back. “Eat.”

Anger vibrated up Kimihiro's spine. He grabbed his spoon brandished it. “I do not take orders from you!”

Doumeki nodded and released Kimihiro's ankle.

Kimihiro promptly started shoveling the still warm oden into his mouth. Stuck-up, self-righteous, bossy, perverted, pain in my ass…

Yuuko's gaze shifted from Kimihiro to Doumeki. A slight smile curved her lips. She turned and tipped sake into Mokona's cup. “Mokona-chan is drinking, right?”

Mokona bounced on his pillow. “Drinking! Drinking! Makona is drinking!” He hopped up on the table and hefted the bottle that was nearly twice his height and just as big around as he was. “Yuuko-san is drinking too?”

Yuuko held out her cup. “I am! I am indeed.”

Doumeki held out his cup too.

Mokona turned to Doumeki. “Doumeki-kun is drinking too?”

Doumeki nodded.

Mokona tilted the bottle to fill Yuuko's cup, then waddled across the table top fill Doumeki's. He left the bottle with Doumeki and bounced back to his pillow. He lifted his full cup. “Cheers!”

Yuuko lifted hers and giggled. “Cheers!”

Doumeki lifted his cup and spoke in his flat monotone. “Cheers.”

Kimihiro ignored them all. The oden was heavenly, but he barely tasted it. He just wanted to get this whole debacle over with so he could go to bed, and forget it ever happened.

Yuuko leaned her elbow on the table. “So, Doumeki-kun, how are your personal studies progressing? Has your hand improved?”

Doumeki eyed her then sipped at his cup. “I've been practicing, but I doubt my work will match my grandfather's skill any time soon.”

Kimihiro continued to eat but frowned. Was something wrong with Doumeki's hand? He hadn't noticed anything at school.

Yuuko nodded and offered her empty cup to Doumeki. “That level of skill will take a lot of practice. However…” She smiled slyly.

Doumeki filled her cup and lifted a brow at her.

Yuuko leaned back and cradled her sake cup. “I think that matching your grandfather is not what you should be aiming for.” She sipped. “Your skills are a little different, so your hand will be different as well.”

Kimihiro fished after the last bites in his bowl, curious about what Yuuko was talking about in spite of himself.

Mokona offered his cup to Doumeki. “Different people, different skills, different hands… You are you. Your grandfather is your grandfather. Different purposes, different aesthetics.”

Kimihiro's frown deepened. Was that supposed to make sense?

Doumeki poured sake into Mokona's cup, a small line appearing between his brows. “So, I shouldn't try to do his style of work?”

Yuuko nodded. “Exactly. Your grandfather is an excellent model, a good place to begin, but you should discover your own style.”

Doumeki lifted the bottle, shook it a little, then peered through the thick glass. His gaze drifted to Kimihiro.

Yuuko's lips parted. “Ah! Done already?”

Doumeki nodded and set the bottle down.

Kimihiro ignored them both, and drank the dregs of his soup. He set the empty bowl down.

Yuuko nodded. “Perfect timing.”

Kimihiro eased forward in his seat and reached for Mokona's empty bowl. “I'll get the dishes…”

Yuuko leaned forward and set a long-fingered hand over his. “Mokona-chan, will you help Watanuki-kun by gathering the dishes?” She looked Kimihiro in the eye. “The washing can wait.”

Kimihiro swallowed and sat back down.

Mokona bounced up on the table. “Kyaa! Mokona will help! Mokona likes helping!” He grabbed the empty bowls, spoons, napkins, and the tiny side dishes, piling them all in a wobbling tower.

“Uwaaah!” Kimihiro lifted his hands to catch the teetering dishes. “Don't drop them!”

“Won't!” Mokona dodged Kimihiro's hands and somehow bounced off the table without dropping even a spoon. “Won't drop them!” He waddled off on his long bunny feet. “Help, help, helping, Watanuki-kun!”

Yuuko clasped her hands together and smiled. “Now then, where shall we begin?”

Oh gods… Kimihiro dug his fingers into the pillow he sat on. “Yuuko-san, must we discuss…this?”

“Watanuki-kun…” She set her elbow on the low table and perched her chin on her hand. “Have you been kissed yet?”

Kimihiro blinked, then felt his face fill with warmth. “Ah, no. Not yet.” Haruka's words suddenly echoed in his mind. “Did he kiss you, or something?” Kimihiro glanced over at Doumeki.

Doumeki blinked and his eyes widened slightly.

Kimihiro looked back at Yuuko. “The girls all think I'm…” His face warmed further. He dropped his gaze to his glass of chilled tea sitting on the table. “They think I'm weird.” It was to be expected. They couldn't see the spirits that used to attack him almost daily. All they could see was him flailing away to escape. Girls tended to avoid him.

Except the Zashiki Warashi, the Vestal Sprite. She seemed to like him well enough, though her body guards, the crow tengu, clearly hated his guts. Himawari liked him too, but she had that…condition.

Yuuko sighed and patted Kimihiro's hand. “Well, as far as kissing is concerned, I don't think you'll have to wait too long for your first kiss.” She smiled and her gaze slid past Kimihiro.

Kimihiro frowned and automatically looked where she was looking.

Doumeki met his gaze briefly, then lifted his tea and sipped.

Kimihiro's frown deepened. Apparently, the two were sharing some kind of silent message. He shook his head. Sometimes, he really, really didn't get Yuuko or Doumeki at all.

Yuuko patted his hand again. “Now then, let's get onto the more graphic details!”

Watanuki stared at her. “Eh?”

Yuuko snorted and smiled. “I originally thought to simply hand you a handful of yaoi mangas, but I figured that might not be enough for you.”

Doumeki shook his head. “Some of that stuff is wrong.” He lifted a brow at Yuuko. “Painfully wrong.”

Yuuko's brows lifted. “Oh?” She smiled. “You sound so…well informed.”

Doumeki looked away. “My family is of the Shingon tradition. My education was very…” He coughed. “Thorough.”

Yuuko leaned over the table, her smile widening. “Oh? How thorough?”

Doumeki snorted. “I read a lot of historical accounts.”

Yuuko pouted briefly, then tilted her head and lifted her brow. “I thought you might have gained some…practical knowledge from your grandfather. I'd heard that he observed… tradition, even after he was married.”

Doumeki flushed bright pink.

Kimihiro stared. Doumeki was blushing? That was different.

Despite the redness of his cheeks, Doumeki met and held Yuuko's gaze. “My adopted great uncle had a very strong bow. My grandmother was very fond of him.”

Yuuko's smile became positively predatory. “So… Do you intend to follow the family tradition?”

Doumeki's gaze shifted to Kimihiro then back to Yuuko. His expression was very neutral. “Yes.”

Yuuko sat up and readjusted the already perfect folds of her butterfly embroidered robes. “In the honorable fashion, of course?”

Doumeki lifted his chin. “Of course.”

Yuuko giggled then turned to Kimihiro. “Watanuki-kun, are you following any of this?”

Kimihiro snorted and folded his arms. “Not one word.” Shingon tradition? He'd never even heard of that. I thought Doumeki's family was Buddist?

Yuuko chuckled. “I thought not.” Twirling a lock of her long black hair and smiling slyly, she looked over at Doumeki. “Frustrating isn't it?”

Doumeki rolled his eyes and his shoulders slumped. “Very.”

Yuuko turned to Kimihiro and grinned. “Now then, to the details!” She lifted her index finger. “Always use lots of lubrication.” She lifted a second finger. “Use a condom, unless you know them really, really well, and…” She lifted a third finger. “Never ever forget the magic words, push out.”

Kimihiro frowned. “Condom and lubrication I get, but `push out'?”

Yuuko snorted. “When a man has intercourse with another man, you do know where his…member goes, yes?”

Kimihiro puzzled over two male bodies equipped with masculine appendages for a few breaths, then shook his head. “Men aren't built for…that.”

Doumeki sighed heavily. “It goes up his ass, idiot.”

The scene in Kimihiro's imagination shifted to one male body bent over, head down with his butt up, and the other kneeling behind him inserting himself between the first's cheeks…and he fainted dead away.