Yami No Matsuei Fan Fiction ❯ All Your Fault ❯ All Your Fault ( One-Shot )

[ Y - Young Adult: Not suitable for readers under 16 ]

Summary: A recollection of a meeting that led to an unbridled obsession. [Muraki X Tsuzuki]




Be forwarned. I was incredibly bored when I decided to type this up, so it might drag out a little. It's my view of what goes on through Muraki's mind in between bloody rampages.

Of all people, I should know that underneath a psychopathic shell lies a core that's longing for love and affection; please don't flame because you think Muraki is out of character.

Disclaimer: I don't own Yami no Matsuei. I have nothing to do with it. So please don't sue me? <3




On with the fic.




This is all your fault, you know.

This obsession of mine. It's your fault.

You didn't have to walk in there when you did, in the midst of my humble penitence; the one day I extend my deepest condolence to those unfortunate many whom I've wronged in my life.

The men. The women. The children. The souls who've died at my hand.

I do have a heart, you know. As small as it may be. There's at least one point in a man's life where even the coldest of hearts are susceptible to melt and realize what they've done. Ninty-nine point bloody nine percent of the time, I do not have this urge, and the one time I did, I found myself in the most humble of places, and the one place where I knew my filthy soul wasn't welcome. Nonetheless, I passed that arch and entered, surprised a bolt of lightning didn't strike me down to prevent me from tainting a house of purity.

I knelt down before the altar, my head bowed in prayer. I heard nothing; not the commotion of the crowd I knew was outside, nor the soft rustle caused by my blazer, which I could only feel against my legs. Both eyes closed, though one did me no good either way.

I expected no forgiveness. But then again, I never wanted it. My sins do not merit absolution. However, the one bit of mortality that my heart still clings to refused to let go, and thusly, I found myself in the house of the Gods to give my condolence.

Ironic, isn't it, that I should offer my condolence to the souls of whom I condemned to need the condolence in the first place? They would not be where they were at that point in time had I not stepped in to cause it. Strange how that works, and yet it had taught me nothing. No, I remained blissfully ignorant, and continued to reap my revenge on the world.

Also upsetting is the fact that I knew all this, and still did nothing to stop myself.

Time flew by so quickly, it seemed. But, then agian, I never truly did find out how long I'd been in that kneeling position before the click-clack of your shoes hit the marble floor and caysed my eyes to open. The white stone at my feet greeted my visage. It seemed so pure compared to me, albiet I was drenched in the color; from my hair, to the clothes I wore, and practically the color of my skin. White seems so pure, and on me, seems tainted with red.

"Excuse me, did you see a girl? you asked me.

Standing up tall, I felt a disc in my spine fall into place. I paid it no mind, the minor discomfort was nothing, though it did serve to say that I'd been there for some time. Turning my head, I first laid eyes on you. Yes, I had seen your picture once before, but I did not know this then. I learned it later, so much later. The vintage black and white did no justice for your angelic beauty.

I forgot your words, then.

Only you deserved to set foot in such a holy place, your past didn't matter. The scars on your beautiful wrists didn't matter. The blood on your hands didn't matter. The purest and filthiest of souls on the Gods' green earth were there that day to mingle, and we blended together in perfect contradiction.

It was only then I realized that a thick teardrop had escaped the corner of my eye. The clever little thing had avoided my detection until now, when the soft breeze caused a specific streak on my face to be more chilled than the rest, and I realized that moisture was to blame.

Slowly, I raised a hand, planting my pale fingers over my forehead and my thin glasses, directing my eyes down from the radiation of your perfection. "How embarassing this is for me right now."

You stuttered out a sentence, "Oh, uh, don't worry..."

I interjected, "Is there something you..." My voice was about to crack, so I cut myself off. Even now, I don't know whether it was your presence or the shock of my tears that caused it. I discreetly wiped them away.

"Oh. I'm looking for a girl that might've come in here. She's about five foot ten, with long hair."

You seemed so casual. How could you be so casual? Everything about you was extraordinary. Everything about you is extraordinary. Your amethyst eyes, your perfect physique, the wave of your hair and the sway of your cloak. It hypnotized me from the start.

"No. Noone." My response was brief. You were entrancing me even then. You were unwittingly putting me under your spell and causing me to lose all sense of self. Youw ere causing the beginning of the end; yours and mine.

"Oh, I see. Excuse me." With that, you turned and walked away. You disregarded me in the brief moment you uttered the words. You forgot all about me and those few seconds when your eyes met mine. You nad no trouble turning your back to me and returning from whence you came.

I was not so fortunate.

Would I be reminiscing now, had I been so fortunate?

Our meeting was so brief, but you had made an impression of yourself within my mind. At first, I had referred to it as an aftereffect of the few seconds of vulnerability that still remained within my icy heart.

It developed into obsession.

Obsession developed into love.

Love developed into an undying adoration that I still carry with me, to this day, to this hill where I overlook the city.

Don't you see?

My mask conceals so much. The blood conceals so much. The hatred conceals so much.

There's so much I want to say to you, and I fear I never will. Everything I've painted is going to prevent that. All the things I've done have created a barrier that surrounds me and keeps me from you.

Does the boy mean that much to you? I can't help but wonder. He disregards you completely; he doesn't deserve such perfection. He doesn't deserve the beauty that is your face or the sculpture that is your mind.

He doesn't appreciate you. He's incapable of appreciating you.

He is a chasm. A black void. He might as well still be boiling in the primordeal soup.

You are an angel from the heavens, whether or not you are branded with the title of a Guardian.

He is not worthy of your affections. Truly, noone on this earth is; living or dead. How can you commit yourself os easily to one so blind? I wonder that, too.

Is the old saying true? That one cannot have beauty and brains? I smirk only slightly. Perhaps. Perhaps it is true. You do have your shining moments, my darling, but you obviously have your dull ones.

Were he not in the picture, would you come to me, my darling? I seem to have so many quesitons that I fear will never be answered. But, would you? No, I know you wouldn't. I don't think you could look past the wall of red that surrounds me. You are simply too loyal for that. You're too caring for that. Perhaps it's the boy's blood that keeps you from me; that one little thing that could have been prevented, had he not stepped out of his bed that night to wander.

I find my sadism slipping now. It frightens me, my love, don't you understand? I don't get frightened. You're the only thing that frightens me.

It troubles me that you managed to penetrate the hardened crust around my heart and made me love you so. Sorcery, no doubt. But I cannot stop now.

Can I ever tell you this myself?

Will I ever be able to?

Is it written in the stars somewhere that I will be able to prove my love for you in the way words cannot?

Will I ever be free to love you my darling...?

Tsuzuki...

This is all your fault.




Review? Please? I'll give you two cookies...

<3