Yami No Matsuei Fan Fiction ❯ Chocolate Mousse ❯ Chocolate Mousse ( Chapter 1 )

Title: Chocolate Mousse

Summary: An accident leaves Hisoka and Hijiri covered in thick sticky - chocolate! And Tsuzuki - Tsuzuki is craving something sweet. Which, unfortunately, is currently stuck to the bodies of two beautiful teenage boys.

Rating: I - uhm - R? I don't know, maybe I'm pushing it a tad.

Warning: PWP, TWT, OOC, yaoi, Hisoka POV, silliness

Notes: Please take note, chocolate is an aphrodisiac and does indeed stimulate sexual desire.

(Hisoka POV)

I must admit - I never knew too much about music.

I listened to it, of course, what teenage boy doesn't listen to music, but I never knew too much about real music. If you asked me what a tremolo or a fermata was I would probably just look at you blankly before turning around and walking away. I had no idea why there were four strings on a violin, or what notes they were able to play. I knew nothing about the different scales, what flats, sharps, and naturals were. I didn't understand the connection between one's instrument and themselves, why they dedicated themselves so much to practicing - to getting better.

Don't misunderstand; I'm not stupid. I know what a bassoon is; I know the difference between a piccolo and a flute. I just didn't understand music.

The technical part was easy to understand. You get pieces of paper shoved in front of you, you read the notes, and you learn the song. You practiced if you wanted to get better - made sure you knew the key and time signatures. But that's just the technical aspect of music. That, I understand. It's the musical part of music that I don't understand. And I know that it's the musical part of music that makes you a true musician.

Anyone could compose a song as long as they know the notes, but that doesn't necessarily mean that it would sound right. It would be missing that certain musicality - that certain something - that made it to where you could drown in. It wouldn't be truly beautiful. Now - I'm not saying that I understand what musicality is - far from it. But from my experiences so far I learned that true music is played only by someone who has the ability to understand it. You just can't be able to play random notes and expect to be a musician - you have to be able to feel the music as well.

Which is why I now despise listening to the radio.

Whenever I listen to the music that they play on the radio stations, it makes me glare and curse. All that these so called musicians are doing are playing notes. Some of them may be geniuses, but the singers that sing along to the music - I feel as though they don't understand how beautiful they can make that simple piece of music if they understood it. They're simply singing - no connection whatsoever.

It's interesting how one event can change your entire perception of something.

Before the entire incident with Hijiri - I had perceived music the same way that every other person did. It was nothing more than a form of entertainment, a way to keep you smiling and dancing. But honestly - its not.

Because when a composer writes music, they are revealing their very soul to an audience. The music can either hold their darkest secret or their deepest desire. I suppose that it's something you have to be able to feel - that you have to be able to listen for. Only truly musical people could understand that. I don't suppose that I do - or at least did - until after I met Hijiri.

It surprised me that despite everything that had happened he still wasn't afraid to pick up his violin and continue playing it. I knew that he possessed plenty of strength to begin with - and he most likely drew more of that strength from Tsuzuki - but, I think that if I had been a normal adolescent boy that I would have been frightened to play music again. Especially since the death of an innocent little girl was the result of wanting to be wonderful - to have the talent and the ambition to be a great violinist. He continued to play anyways.

And truth be told, after his performance, I hadn't expected to see him again.

Funny how life seems to have a knack at contradicting people.

Or better yet, Tsuzuki.

I hadn't been doing anything especially wonderful that day. I was just lurking around my apartment and drinking a nice cup of green tea while I listened to the rain beat down on my roof.

I happen to love the rain. For some reason, it's just so comforting, calming, and tends to lure me to sleep. There were times when I was younger, that I would go and stand out in the rain and just stare at nothing. I wouldn't necessarily think; it was what I had always been attempting to escape whenever I went out into the rain. 'Cause for some reason, it seemed to me that the rain was able to just wash away every single sin that you committed - that it was able to cleanse your soul. I had believed that when I was younger, but now - now I just don't bother. It's a waste of time, but I still enjoy it.

So I had taken to listening to it.

Now that I think about, there is something extremely musical about the rain - it has the same tendency to lure people in without them realizing it. But then, there are certain people who are able to do that as well.

I had went to sit by the window, pushing aside the curtains so that I could watch the rain - something which I haven't indulged myself in lately, and just sat there. My tea had been getting cold - the rain luring me in once again, when there was a quiet knock on my door. I don't know if I had sighed or not - I hate being interrupted when I am doing something in which I am enjoying, but seeing as to how watching the rain isn't exactly important I decided to get up and answer the door.

Imagine my surprise when a smiling Tsuzuki was what greeted me.

"Yo," he said, waving a hand, although I don't know why he waved at me, there really wasn't a purpose since he was right in front of me. But I ignored it in favor of letting him in.

Tsuzuki had never been inside my dorm before. I had been inside his numerous times, heck, he hacked away at me inside his apartment once. But not once since I had become his partner had he ever ventured inside my apartment. I was always the one to go to him. So it was kind of strange to know that he was currently wandering around my apartment and looking at every single thing.

"Hey," I responded a little late, leaning against a wall while he made himself comfortable on my couch.

Silence passed between us, although it wasn't awkward in any way, it felt as though there was a certain tension clinging to it - stifling me. I didn't understand it too much, but I didn't dwell on it either.

"Want something to drink?" I asked eyeing my cold tea perched on the windowsill.

"No, I'm fine," Tsuzuki responded after a moment, his eyes roaming about the apartment once again. "I actually came here to invite you to come eat with us."

I blinked at him, unfolding my arms, before fully processing what he had said.

"Are you sure that Tatsumi would -"

"I have some extra money," Tsuzuki responded with a shrug of his shoulders, and that was when I realized he seemed somewhat tense. Frowning, I sat down on the couch next to him, my hand grabbing his.

"What's wrong?" I asked, resting my head against his shoulder. Tsuzuki glanced at me, smiling gently, before wrapping an arm around my shoulders.

"I just - I had no idea you had a picture of Hijiri here." I shook my head, sighing loudly. He sounded so uncertain.

" I do like him. But why does it matter? It's not as though you're jealous or anything, right?" I questioned, turning to look at my partner.

And you know what? He had the most mischievous smile on his face. I was going to ask him what he was on about, but instead he just kissed me, slow and simple, before standing up and walking towards the door.

"In case you're wondering," he started as he turned around, that same smile on his face, " I'm not jealous."

I raised an eyebrow, my arms crossing over my chest as I gazed at him. Something was off, but -

"Hi-so-ka," he mumbled, enunciating my name strangely, " it's raining."

"Idiot, I know its rain…. ing," But I stopped myself, as his smile grew bigger.

Jerk, I ranted to myself, recognizing it for the evasive maneuver it was.

Shrugging my shoulders, I stood up and started walking to my room, wondering just what the hell Tsuzuki was hiding this time.

"Just let me get my coat."

We left in relative silence, and Tsuzuki was still acting strange, and it was bothering me. Adjusting my umbrella slightly, I looked up at him, a frown on my face as I nudged him with my elbow.

"Hmm?"

"You're thinking too much," and you're being sneaky, I wanted to add, but didn't.

"Thinking too much?" He looked positively confused, which was surprising, seeing as to how it was Tsuzuki, and he tends to confuse people more than anything. After all, whenever you think he may be joking - he's serious. But then again, Tsuzuki is always serious.

"Yes," I responded, stopping in the middle of the sidewalk to look at him, " you're apprehensive."

And Tsuzuki - all he did was smile before shrugging his shoulders and turning to walk again.

"We wouldn't want to be late."

I frowned again. He was being evasive, again. My pride was beginning to bleed.

"So," I started as I caught up to him, placing him under the umbrellas protection once again, " whom are we meeting?"

Tsuzuki gave me a long sideways glance, the corners of his lips turning up into another smile.

"Hijiri."

I stopped dead.

Yes, life is full of contradictions.

And - Hijiri?

I hadn't been expecting it. I, at least, thought that we would be meeting up with Tatsumi, or even Watari, as unlikely as it seemed. But Hijiri? How had Tsuzuki managed to get in touch with him? And better yet, why had he decided to get in touch with him? It wasn't as though I hadn't wanted to see him - to tell the truth, I missed him. He was extremely nice and kind, and the simplest things seemed to be able to make him smile.

I remember when the two of us had gone on a trip before his concert - he had been extremely energetic. I hadn't known that someone could get so excited about a simple sightseeing trip. But Hijiri - he had been thrilled. And the pictures - I had simply gotten sick of taking so many pictures, but - he has an amazing presence now that I think about it. And he really enjoyed getting his picture taken, which, you know, wouldn't have been a problem if it hadn't been me taking the pictures.

And he seemed to admire Tsuzuki a lot.

Hell, anyone who was able to commit the sins that Tsuzuki did and still be able to smile should be admired, but still, the thought of seeing Hijiri again had me rattled and - I blinked, shooting an amused Tsuzuki a tiny glare.

"Idiot! That's what's bothering you?"

He simply smiled.

"Tsuzuki," I started, not entirely knowing what I was going to say, "I like Hijiri, but you - I don't - It's a picture. "

"And a very cute picture at that," Tsuzuki said, smiling as he ruffled my hair, " he looked somewhat indignant."

Um - oookaaaaay.

"Do you think we'll have enough money for dessert?" I asked, deciding to switch topics. Because, Hijiri? Cute? I don't even want to know where that came from. Maybe I should start paying attention to Tsuzuki's intake of sake each day - er - hour.

But because of my generosity, I was rewarded with an extremely bright and handsome smile.

"Naturally," Tsuzuki responded before walking away from me, and it was then that I noticed that it had stopped raining. Closing my umbrella quickly, I caught up to him, giving him a curious look.

"Where are we going?"

"Seafood," he answered simply, and I couldn't help but sigh. Seafood was extremely expensive. I could only hope that he didn't order something like Alaskan king crab or lobster. Simple shrimps and scallops would do.

We met Hijiri outside the restaurant, and he seemed generally happy to see us again. Apparently, Tsuzuki's invitation to have him eat with us had caught him off guard, because it seemed as though he was still shocked to see us.

Hijiri still looked the same to me. He still had those expressive green eyes, that same slightly tousled brown hair, and he was still slender. Not to mention he still looked at Tsuzuki with that same admiration in his eyes. I don't know what I expected to be different - I guess that after his run in with a devil he would have at least been jaded - but his personality was still the same from the last time I saw him. A part of me was disappointed, for what reason, I still don't know, but the other half of me was delighted. He was stronger than I had imagined, and he didn't let something as simple as being manipulated by the devil taint him. It made me want to admire him.

And, I suppose I already did, but I wasn't going to tell him that. My pride would start convulsing.

Now, I think it should be said that there is never a dull moment in my life. Unless, of course, it deals with staring at the rain for a long period of time. Any other time I run around chasing supernatural murderers and destroying demons, but that's just putting it lightly. There is rarely a moment of peace in my life, but when there is, it's enjoyable. So that's what I expected of this lunch. For it to be nice and peaceful and have nothing to get in the way.

But remember life and it's little contradictions?

Mine seems to be full of them.

The meal itself had been going relatively well. I had been eating shrimps and scallops, my favorite seafood, while drinking cranberry juice. Hijiri had ordered fish and was drinking water, and Tsuzuki - Tsuzuki was eating crab and sake. Of course, he just had to order the crab. There were also crab cakes, stuffed mushrooms, and some boiled rice - which I'm positive, cost a fortune enough. But then, he also wanted dessert. And Tsuzuki has a knack for eating lots of sweets.

But Hijiri and Tsuzuki had been talking about something, I wasn't exactly following, I was too busy munching on shrimps and drinking cranberry juice when Hijiri had asked me something - I don't remember what it was. All I did was blink at him, my cheeks heating up from embarrassment. I would have to say that there are times when I am completely caught off guard, and I hate it. Because it makes me look like a stupid kid and I hate being confused.

"Hisoka?"

"I didn't catch what you said," I murmured, pushing a scallop around on my plate to give me something to do.

"I asked if you're all right, you've hardly talked," he responded, reaching for his glass of water.

"I'm fine," I answered back, glancing up at him. And you want to know what was weird? He was blushing. For what, I don't know, but his cheeks were bright red and he was deliberately not making eye contact with me.

"Are you ok?" I countered, setting my chopsticks down across my plate. He looked at me then, apparently startled, and Tsuzuki was busy drinking his sake and eating more crab, his shoulders shaking with repressed laughter. Did I miss something?

"Oh - well - I - I'm fine."

He didn't expect me to believe that did he? For one, he stuttered, and two, he turned a darker shade of red. Obviously something must be bothering him.

"Are you sure?" I persisted, ignoring how this made me seem like a noisy girl, " Because you are blushing."

I tried not to smirk as he turned yet a darker shade of red, despite how amusing his embarrassment was.

"I - well - that is to say - it's just - no." I raised an eyebrow, and Tsuzuki chuckled, poking him with the end of his chopsticks. Hijiri let out a surprised gasp at the contact, and Tsuzuki smiled at him, carelessly shrugging his shoulders.

"Don't worry." Tsuzuki said, picking up his glass after the waitress filled it with more sake, "You look cute when you're embarrassed."

My eyes widened, my food freezing halfway too my mouth. And Hijiri - Hijiri choked and almost fell out of his chair. His eyes, if possible, were even wider than mine, and his face was bright red, his hands trembling as they gripped the table.

Er - maybe Tsuzuki was a little too blunt?

"I - well - I'll be right back," Hijiri explained, his voice soft, and his gaze directed elsewhere. Tsuzuki just nodded enthusiastically, poking him in the ribs with his chopsticks while the waitress refilled his glass with sake yet again.

I don't know how it happened, I really don't.

All I know was that between Hijiri getting up from his seat, Tsuzuki eating crab cakes, and the waitress refilling his glass, something happened.

And then I was blind.

And my first reaction was to jump out of my chair, sputtering indignantly because - whatever it was that was sliding down my spine and blinding me was cold as hell. Distantly, I could hear Hijiri cursing something unintelligent, and the waiters and waitress yelling at me to calm down, but I couldn't. Whatever the hell I was drenched in was freaking cold. And on top of that, I could just feel everyone's eyes fixated on me. And it made me feel uncomfortable. But you want to know the worst thing?

Tsuzuki was laughing.

I mean, here I was, drenched in something cold, practically blind and the guy was just laughing as though my new handicap was the most amusing thing in the world. Oh, I was definitely going to get my revenge on him, the laughing idiot. Yeah, so my little display was funny, big deal. What would you do if something extremely cold were suddenly dumped on your head?

But, it was only after I wiped my eyes and opened my mouth to yell at someone that I realized what it was.

I was covered in chocolate.

It was in my hair, sliding down my back and chest, covering my white polo shirt.

What the hell?!

"Oh - sir - I'm sorry sir - it was an accident," a waiter exclaimed, his eyes extremely wide.

But I ignored him.

Because standing right in front of me, was Hijiri, and you know what?

He was positively drenched in chocolate.

And he simply looked so adorable with those wide eyes, his mouth hanging open slightly, while chocolate dripped from his hair, down his face and into a small puddle at it his feet. So I did the strangest thing that I could possibly have ever done in my life.

I threw my head back and laughed.

And I swear, the entire restaurant just grew quiet as I laughed that strange maniacal laugh. No one had ever heard me laugh before; I was just too serious. But seeing Hijiri dripping with - what I am assuming was a chocolate milkshake - just struck something inside me that made me give way to laughter. I don't remember laughing since I was a child, and it felt damned good.

"What?!" Hijiri exclaimed indignantly once I settled down and reached for a napkin.

I smirked, exchanging a vengeful glance with Tsuzuki (whose eyes were unusually bright), before turning back to my friend.

"Tsuzuki was right," I replied, wiping some of the chocolate away from my face.

Hijiri simply gave me an odd look before reaching for his own napkin, ignoring the apologies that the waiter kept throwing at us. "What do you mean?"

"You are cute when you're indignant."

A moment of silence passed.

Someone coughed.

A light blew out.

Mice skittered across the floor.

Tsuzuki collapsed.

And everyone turned with curious looks towards our friend, whose face was red as he lay on the floor, his cup of sake clenched tightly in his hand.

"Just how much sake did he drink?" I asked Hijiri.

"Um - a lot?" Hijiri responded with a shrug, his cheeks still stained red from my earlier comment.

I sighed and grabbed a pair of chopsticks, poking Tsuzuki in the shoulder as though he were a dead animal. Obviously it was a stupid thing to do, because Hijiri cleared his throat, accompanying it with an odd look.

"In my defense," I started indignantly as I fished around in Tsuzuki's pockets for some money, " temporary lapse of sanity."

"Lapse of sanity?" Hijiri cocked his head to the side, a mischievous smile playing at his lips.

Idiot, my mind supplied.

"It's the chocolate," I accused, noticing my pride was sporting disgustingly bloody gash.

Hijiri merely shrugged, a small smile playing at his lips.

"Where should we take him?" He asked quietly he propped him up on a chair, the waitress giving us a glass of water.

I thought for a moment, my head tilting to the side as I gazed at Tsuzuki, taking note of how - drunk - he was. Gods this man was impossible.

"I think my dorm is closest," I responded after a moment of silence, " we should take him there."

"Right," Hijiri responded, glancing around the restaurant nervously, "but can we pay and get out of here? I don't like the looks everyone is giving us."

I looked at him, my smirk slowly growing as I took note of the chocolate that still dripped from his hair and shirt. "I don't know, maybe it has something to do with that chocolate."

"But - well - you're covered in it too!"

"So I am," I replied as I located Tsuzuki's wallet, removing enough money to pay for his part of the bill, "I have some clothes at my apartment, they should fit you. You can take a shower there."

"Well, thanks," Hijiri shuffled nervously, looking back and forth from me to Tsuzuki somewhat shyly. I merely raised an eyebrow, placing one of Tsuzuki's arms around my shoulders and trying to lift him up. I wasn't successful.

Are drunken people supposed to be so heavy?

I grunted a little, the money clutched in my hand as I attempted to drag Tsuzuki along with me, Hijiri following at a somewhat resolute place. And you know what? I think he was waiting for me to ask him for help. And, I would have, but remember my bleeding pride? No way I was going to let it die on me. We had made it to the register with Tsuzuki stirring slightly, mumbling slightly unintelligent things in my ear.

"The manager apologizes about the little mishap," the hostess said, smiling at us somewhat sadly, "and has offered to give you this meal on the house."

Hijiri and I exchanged surprised glances, and I could have sworn Tsuzuki murmured something along the lines of 'thank god'.

Nodding appreciatively to the hostess, Hijiri came to Tsuzuki's other side, hooking an arm around his waist as he helped me carry him out of the restaurant, both of us extremely aware of the looks that followed us out.

I can imagine it must have been extremely awkward, seeing two teenage boys covered in chocolate, walking down the street with a grown man who was currently passed out in their arms. And beside me, I could hear Hijiri cursing the weather, wishing that it had still been raining.

"Damn," I frowned suddenly, loosening my grip on Tsuzuki to glance back in the direction of the restaurant.

"What's the matter?" Hijiri asked, taking note of my grave expression.

"I left my umbrella at the restaurant," I replied while looking toward the sky. It was still extremely dark and gray, and I was positive that it would rain at any minute.

Hijiri just coughed, giving me an embarrassed look. "Surely you can go back and get it? I'm positive that the restaurant will hold it for you until you go to claim it."

"I suppose," I said while sighing, lifting Tsuzuki once again.

We made it back to my apartment in silence, and Hijiri was forced to hold onto Tsuzuki's dead weight while I fished for my keys.

It was difficult, maneuvering all three of us through my door, but somehow we managed.

I led them to my room, frowning at the somewhat disheveled state it was in, but caring nonetheless. We simply had to get Tsuzuki to lie down, have him drink a glass of water and everything would be all right. I hoped.

"Hijiri, can you hold him? I need to get another pillow."

"Ok."

I thought that everything would be fine. I thought that Tsuzuki was so amazingly drunk that he would be fine if I left the room even for a second. But once again there goes life and its silly little contradictions. I had barely started walking back from the closet when it happened.

Hijiri yelped.

And the next thing I remember was an extremely loud thud followed by some cursing.

Imagine my surprise when I entered my room to find Hijiri practically plastered to my wall, his eyes wide as he turned 20 different shades of red, while Tsuzuki attempted to make him self stand, his hand clutching his head.

"Do I even wanna know?" I asked in amusement as Hijiri's gaze snapped to me, his face heating up even more.

"He - he licked me!"

In any other case, hearing Hijiri's voice raise ten different octaves would have been funny, but Tsuzuki. Licked. Hijiri.

Something is definitely off.

"What?"

"He licked me," Hijiri said once more as I moved over to Tsuzuki, throwing the pillow onto the bed to help him lay down, " he just turned, said 'yum' and licked me."

I must have been going insane or something, because the next thing that came out of my mouth was not what I wanted it to be.

"Where?"

Hijiri just stared, his eyes wide as I clutched Tsuzuki to me, suddenly too shocked by my own words to realize that he was nipping my neck. In the end, it was Tsuzuki who broke off our staring contest, his tongue darting out of his mouth to lick at my neck.

"Don't be jealous 'Soka," Tsuzuki murmured, his words slurred as he wrapped an arm around my waist, "He tasted like chocolate."

"What?"

"And you taste like chocolate too."

"Hijiri?" I asked, attempting to pry myself away from Tsuzuki as he kissed at my jaw, " A little help please?"

This was not how I wanted to get my revenge on Tsuzuki for laughing at me. If he had an awful hangover, that I could have handled, but he was licking and kissing my jaw and - Hijiri was just standing there, staring Tsuzuki and me wide-eyed.

And my pride was whimpering, lying in a puddle of blood on the floor; bruises and cuts covering his small frame.

"Hijiri!" I exclaimed, snapping the other boy out of his reverie. "Can you please help me lay him down?"

"Uhm, yeah."

But, damn it; everything seemed to want to go wrong today. Because as soon as Hijiri placed a hand on Tsuzuki's shoulder, both of us suddenly ended up on the bed, one of Tsuzuki's hands on either of our chests to hold us down. His eyes were unusually bright and his smile somewhat lazy as he looked at us, before lowering himself to run his tongue over the smudges of chocolate still on Hijiri's face.

I could feel Hijiri trembling next to me, his breath hitching at the contact. But damn, Tsuzuki sure had a lot of strength for someone who was drunk.

"But I am very much sober," he whispered in my ear, his teeth suddenly nipping at my ear lobe. And, it was like an electric shock going through my body as it happened, my eyes widening as I let out a shaky breath. And distantly, I could feel Hijiri's eyes burning into the side of my head as he turned to watch, thoroughly entranced by Tsuzuki's sudden display of affection.

"What do you mean?"

"I never got my dessert."

And I swear, I have never heard Tsuzuki sound so - sensual. And it frightened me, because I knew what he was insinuating. And I wouldn't have had a problem with it but - in front of Hijiri? I did not want an audience.

"Tsuzuki," I breathed, only to let out another gasp of breath as he nipped at my jaw.

"Hmm?"

"You're," quiet whimper, " drunk. You should really lay down."

"Hisoka," Hijiri whispered after a moment of Tsuzuki ravishing me, and I was suddenly aware of how close he was, " I don't think he's drunk."

I turned to glare at him, Tsuzuki moving away from the both of us, and was surprised that our noses practically touched.

"Of course he's drunk. Tsuzuki just doesn't attack people and start kissing and licking them. He's not -"

But I wasn't able to finish. Because suddenly, Hijiri's mouth was on my own, his green hues staring directly into mine as he kissed me slowly.

I could feel his hands move up to grasp my shoulders as he gave me small tiny kisses, his cheeks flushing as he moved to my jaw line.

"Hi -Hijiri?" I breathed, suddenly aware of the fact that Tsuzuki sitting on the end of my bed, watching us both with amusement. Hijiri pulled away from me for a moment, his eyes hazy as he blinked at me, as though trying to process what happening.

"Tsuzuki," I said glancing towards my partner, "what's wrong with him? His eyes -"

"He likes you obviously," Tsuzuki said with a shrug of his shoulders, and I was vaguely aware that Hijiri was running his tongue up and down my chocolate covered neck.

"You mean, you don't see something wrong with this?!" Gods, this man was completely surreal.

Tsuzuki just looked even more amused.

"Well, you must be enjoying it as well because - well - you are letting him lick your neck."

What's with that reasoning, and what happened to the drunken idiot that had collapsed on the floor only moments ago? Oh, wait, that's right. My pride took his place. I glowered at my partner, attempting to pull away from Hijiri at the same time.

"You're supposed to be drunk," I accused, my hands latching onto Hijiri's shoulders as an involuntary shiver ran through my body at his ministrations.

"But I am drunk," Tsuzuki retorted happily, shrugging out of his jacket.

Hijiri's hands dipped underneath my shirt, running his fingers over my skin sensually, causing my nerves to coil into a hot tight ball in the pit of my stomach. Gods.

"I thought you said you were," sharp intake of breath, " sober," I panted as Hijiri toyed with my nipples. Jesus, why the hell was this happening? I could practically feel myself getting hard as Tsuzuki started to unbutton his shirt. Oh Gods, please don't tell me he's doing what I think he's doing.

"I am," He said, a small smile playing at his lips as he discarded his shirt onto my floor.

Oh God, he is.

I squeezed my eyes shut tightly, attempting to banish the sexual haze that had overcome my mind. Distantly, I could hear Hijiri respond to Tsuzuki's statement with a short and curt Make up your mind, and was surprised that he was able to remove his lips from my skin long enough to even talk. Unfortunately, his hands weren't ready to take a vacation yet.

My body was trembling; my eyes still squeezed shut as I felt a shift in weight behind Hijiri. His hands were still roaming freely on my skin, one of them tugging impatiently at my shirt, attempting to pull it off when, quite suddenly, a moan cut through the air. My eyes snapped open and I shot up, my hands covering my mouth as I stared at nothing in wide-eyed shock.

My pride looked at me from the floor, one of his eyes swelling badly as blood leaked from the new cut on his head, clearly wishing the death of me.

"Hisoka?"

I turned, looking at the two boys who were staring back at me in amusement; Tsuzuki trying hard not to rupture any brain cells from holding back his laughter. Well, you know what? I hope he does, the evil sadistic bastard. And I was trying hard to remember that he was halfway between drunk and sober, as strange as that sounds, but honestly I think this was his mission for the day. Get Hisoka and Hijiri to participate in wild erotic orgy. Yeah, well, pfft. He can just count me -

"Oh Gods," I moaned suddenly, feeling Tsuzuki's teeth nipping my pulse. And then, as if that wasn't enough, Hijiri came over, his tongue dipping into the curve of my ear and trailing down until he reached my ear lobe, tugging at it with his teeth.

My lungs were beginning to burn and my vision was beginning to blur.

I shouldn't be doing this, I thought as they managed to pull my shirt off of me, I should not be about to have sex with my Tsuzuki and Hijiri.

"It's your fault though," my pride told me from across the room, "you are the one who decided to date Tsuzuki and - besides - Hijiri? Cute, remember?" I glowered.

"Hijiri is not cute," I retorted, ignoring the fact that Tsuzuki and Hijiri stilled as I spoke aloud, "he's my friend and - no - no this isn't right."

"Oh my goodness!" My pride shouted, throwing his hands up in the air, "Will you stop being so stubborn?! You like Hijiri. You even told Tsuzuki that at one point."

"I did not tell Tsuzuki that I liked Hijiri!" I retorted, crossing my arms over my chest defiantly. Behind me, Hijiri and Tsuzuki exchanged startled looks, probably questioning my sanity. But you know? It flew out the window as soon as they both attacked me and started ravishing my body.

"Ok then," My pride said with a shrug, wincing as pain shot through his shoulder, "but you did die in place of Hijiri. Remember?"

"I - well - uhn - whatever! So I died in place of him, big deal. That still doesn't mean that I should indulge in a wild romp just because of that."

My pride looked thoroughly irritated, his wounds quickly healing as he stood up and strode across the room, and I watched him, glaring as he knelt down in front of me.

"But you missed him right? How many times do you look at that picture of him, wishing that you are able to see him again?" My pride reached out, his knuckles gently grazing the side of my cheek as his eyes softened, yet were still darkened with defiance and determination.

"What's with those eyes?" I asked, my head lowering slowly, " I do miss him, every day, but -"

"Tsuzuki knows," my pride responded, placing his head in my lap, "he knows how much you really do care… about both of them."

"Idiot," I said, leaning back on my hands, "just because you're me doesn't mean you can tell me how I feel about people."

My pride smirked, looking up at me with defiant eyes once again, "but you're the one they think is clinically insane."

"Excuse me?"

"Do I need to spell it out for you?" My pride asked, standing up and striding back across the room, kneeling in a corner, " you're talking to air. Don't you find that the least bit odd?"

I blinked, the sudden realization of what my pride just said washing over me. Almost at once, my pride coughed up blood, wincing as bruises and thick lacerations covered his skin, blood spilling into a puddle on the floor. My face turned bright red and I buried my head in my hands, knowing full well that my pride was about to die in a few short moments. Damn, how the hell had that happened?

"Er - Hisoka?" Tsuzuki asked nervously, placing a hand against my shoulder, attempting to turn me to face him.

But I couldn't look at him. I just done the most idiotic thing imaginable and -

"Shoulder angels," Hijiri mumbled, placing his head on my shoulder, " I used to have those - granted that was years ago - like the age of 5, but I still had them," he replied, shrugging his shoulders. Inwardly, I wondered if he knew that didn't make this any better, but he got brownie points for trying.

"Hisoka, if you are uncomfortable with Hijiri touching you, you should have told him," Tsuzuki said as he sat down next to me.

"I thought that threatening him with castration would have been a little extreme," I retorted sarcastically, growling at my stupidity when Hijiri winced.

"What I meant was that - I like you, and well - I missed you, but I didn't expect to be ravished by you."

"In my defense," Hijiri said, putting his hands up in mock surrender, "it was all Tsuzuki's idea."

I blinked, looking back and forth between Hijiri and Tsuzuki as they glared at each other, silent words passing between them.

"You mean to tell me that you," I said, poking Tsuzuki in the chest, "asked Hijiri if he would interested in participating in an orgy?"

"No!" Tsuzuki yelped indignantly, which wasn't really necessary because I was sitting right next to him.

"What I meant was, lunch was all Tsuzuki's idea. We just both happened to end up hot and horny afterwards," Hijiri said, his face turning pink. I thought I was going to suffocate and die, and my pride was currently gawking, his eyes wide as he watched the scene before him unfolding.

"Well, if you wouldn't have said you wished Hisoka was part of the main course I wouldn't -"

Hijiri pushed me off the bed.

"What the hell was that for?!"

"Um - oops?" Hijiri said with a shrug of his shoulders, his blush completely diminishing, "Look, Hisoka, I doubt I need to point this out to you, but when you're eating, those - uhm - chopsticks moving in and out of your mouth, it's damned…" He turned to Tsuzuki then, an eyebrow raised in question.

"Arousing?" Tsuzuki offered, and Hijiri nodded in satisfaction.

"Arousing," Hijiri agreed.

Silence reigned over us.

Hijiri blinked.

Tsuzuki sneezed.

My pride shivered.

I stared, completely baffled and feeling oddly - aroused.

Damn.

"Hijiri," I started weakly, shifting slightly, " you're sixteen, you aren't supposed to - uhm - get like - " I started stumbling over my words, too embarrassed to really say anything. In the background, my pride pretended to choke. Hijiri merely shrugged.

And Gods, that simple gesture, made me take another look at him. He was a sixteen year old boy - the same as me - one with hormones and -

Chocolate.

Thick and dripping.

Eyes wide, expression surprised.

My eyes widened as that picture flashed through my head, and I licked my lips unconsciously. The sane part of my mind told me that I shouldn't even be considering this, but my hormones had taken over the next instant, my mind disappearing into a thick cloud of sexual haze.

Gods - they were both so beautiful, each of them just sitting there, watching me with those curious expressions on their faces. Hesitantly I reached out, brushing my fingers against Hijiri's cheek, my eyes widening as he leaned into the touch. He really wanted me. I could feel it coursing through him and into me, his emotions - the pure want rising within him - and it amazed me.

I had never felt something so completely pure aside from whenever I was with Tsuzuki. And Hijiri - Hijiri wanted me just as much as Tsuzuki did. I blinked, moving my hand away from Hijiri's face, my eyes lowering to the floor. Honestly, I didn't know what to do. I could screw him - of course - but would that show him how much I - in this single solitary moment - wanted him? Or would he think that I was just succumbing to his own desires? Taking a deep breath, I looked back up at him, my hormones diminishing for a brief moment before I leaned forward, pulling Hijiri into my arms.

Behind him, Tsuzuki watched with rapt attention, obviously startled at my sudden need to want to hold the beautiful boy in my arms. Instinctively, I lowered my head, burying it into the crook of Hijiri's neck, breathing in the sweet scent of chocolate.

Gods.

And my body was acting before I even realized it.

My tongue dragged across his sweet chocolate covered skin, my eyes glazing over with unrepressed need. I could feel Hijiri shiver under my ministrations and I smirked slightly, turning towards Tsuzuki who was watching me widened eyes. I guess he didn't expect me to start reacting to everything this way, but their emotions were slowly synchronizing with mine, making me want them as much as they wanted me. Smirking at my boyfriend's shocked expression, I turned back to Hijiri, kissing him soundly on the lips, my ego inflating when his hands gripped the back of my neck and kissed me back with equal fervor.

Honestly, it was strange to be kissing someone who wasn't Tsuzuki, but it was enjoyable nonetheless. Despite Hijiri being only sixteen, he was very talented with his - er - tongue.

I pulled away from him, slightly out of breath, the sexual haze clouding my mind completely. Hijiri merely smiled at me, leaning forward to capture my lips again, but I pushed away from him, turning towards Tsuzuki once again.

"Meh, Tsuzuki, you were right," I said, smirking as he snapped out of his daze, "Hijiri does taste good. Wouldn't it be nice to taste all of him?"

I don't know where the hell that had come from, but I'm pretty sure it was my libido talking. I trailed a finger down his exposed chest, gently scraping my nails against his sensitive flesh, my eyes still locked on Tsuzuki. I was hoping that he come and play with us, otherwise, it wouldn't be as fun, however I think it would have been just as fun knowing that he was watching me and Hijiri fool around with each other.

"Hisoka..." Tsuzuki breathed, obviously turned on by the display. I gave him a brief smile, shrugging my shoulders slightly before turning back to Hijiri, capturing his lips with my once again. Somewhere in the time that I had been kissing Hijiri, Tsuzuki finally found it in himself to come and join us, and then once again, we were a tangle of limbs - kissing, touching, licking, caressing, tasting - it was amazing.

We never froze, each of us drowning in our passions - amazed at the feeling of being filled, filling others, reaching our crests. It was amazing being able to share myself with two other people I cared very much about, being able to see their flushed heated skin, marked with love bites, trails of saliva covering them - covered in each other's essence. It was simply beautiful and I - I had never seen anything more beautiful. I was hoping I would be able to share something that wonderful - the feeling of being comfortable in my own skin - with them once again. I didn't want what happened today to ever end.

Sometime after Tsuzuki and Hijiri fell asleep, I was still awake, staring at my ceiling, that strange feeling of want still synchronized with my own emotions. I was wondering what would happen now. Would this - moment of passion - continue to dwell within our lives? Would we be able to go out anywhere, happy that we could - I was only hoping it wasn't a one-night stand.

And that was when the music started. It didn't take much for me to guess it was a violin, playing the melodious tune of Beethoven's Ninth Symphony. I had heard Hijiri's orchestra play that right before his solo performance, and I had fallen in love with the song. I blinked up at the ceiling, attempting to grasp the emotions flowing throughout the notes - attempting to figure out whether or not the person playing the beautiful music was in tune with what they were playing.

My hand reached out, entwining with one of my lovers as the music flowed through me, and I realized - I had figured out what the emotion was within the music. Deepest desires. And regardless of whether or not the person realized it or not, I knew. I knew because Beethoven had been deaf - he was able to feel the music flowing through his body - flowing from his heart. The music, it showed his deepest desire. He didn't need to hear to be able to write the notes; he understood the music. He was a truly musical person. His deepest desire was simply to be able to compose the music - to have music be a part of his life.

Smiling gently I turned to my two lovers, watching them as they slept, the music playing quietly overhead. These two, they were my deepest desire, and I cared for them more than anything. Even though - even though I might not be able to look at Hijiri as more than a lover and a friend for quite a while, I still cared very much about him and did not want to lose him. And Tsuzuki - I loved him. I understood my feelings for him for quite a while now, but it was still nice to be able to admit it to myself.

Music, it was like life. You could live it - doing whatever you pleased. But in order to be connected to life - to completely understand it, you had to have something that would make you want to keep on living - a dedication to become better for whatever it was that you cherished most. Smiling, I ran my fingers through Hijiri's hair, my other hand still entwined with Tsuzuki's. And as cheesy as it sounded - these two - they were my music, and I was determined to make them my life. Hijiri smiled a little, leaning into my touch, and I curled around him, giving Tsuzuki's hand a gentle squeeze.

And I couldn't help but wonder - was I their music as well?

Hijiri snuggled into my chest, his arms wrapping around my waist, and I could feel Tsuzuki push closer to me, his head buried in the crook of Hijiri's neck.

Oh Gods, I sure hoped I was.

I wanted nothing more than for my life to be truly musical.

But I guess I should have realized -

It already was.