Yami No Matsuei Fan Fiction ❯ Darker Than Shadow, Brighter Than Light ❯ Chapter Three ( Chapter 3 )

[ X - Adult: No readers under 18. Contains Graphic Adult Themes/Extreme violence. ]

Okay, this has been the hardest part to write thus far. I've re-written it three times now, and it still seems a bit over-emotional to me. So, warnings: Hisoka angst, Tatsumi angst, and maybe a little OCC. You be the judge.

Thanks to everyone who has commented so far; I wouldn't work so hard on this without your support!


Title: Darker Than Shadow, Brighter Than Light (Part Three)

Author: Ann

Rating: NC-17. Sexual themes, including non-consensual relationships, other violence, varied Muraki-evilness.

My stories include male/male sexual inclinations and relationships. If you are too young for mature themes, or don't care for this concept, please stop reading now.

Pairings: Various pairings involving Muraki, Tatsumi and Tsuzuki, including Muraki x Tatsumi. Yes, you read that right; no, I didn't mean to type Tsuzuki instead. Some Watari x Hisoka if I can find a way to build it into the plot.

Disclaimer: Yami no Matsuei characters and all rights belong to Youko Matsushita. This is fan fiction and no profit is made from this endeavor.

Feedback is adored. Ann89103@lvcm.com

Archiving: At MediaMiner.org, under author name Ann H. Any others, please ask.

Spoilers: DVD episodes 1-13: events in this story take place six months later. I do not have access to the manga and thus do not use the established storylines from them, though some ideas I use are inspired by translations I've read.

Mood music: "Song From a Secret Garden," performed by Secret Garden, found on the "Pure Moods IV" CD. I have come to the conclusion that every song performed in the universe should have violins on them. Seriously.

*emphasis*
//song lyrics or quotes//
~thoughts~

***
One hour later, Tatsumi re-entered the infirmary. "Hisoka, are you keeping those two in line? I know they can be a handful."

Once again he was the object of all attention; a simple "whoot!" served as 003's agreement with Tatsumi's comments.

"Oh hush, 003," groused Watari, "you're supposed to be on *my* side." The scientist huffed even more when the owl flew over to a bemused Tatsumi, claiming a perch on his left shoulder.

The scene was enough to bring a smile to Hisoka's lips, and thus brighten the spirits of the other Shinigami present.

"No one can completely restrain these two, as you well know, Tatsumi." Hisoka replied, "but they have been taking good care of me."

"I'm glad to hear it," the brunette replied, "and now I will remove one of your charges. Tsuzuki, would you please visit the library for me? The information we requested regarding the university is now ready."

"Sir, yes Sir!" Tsuzuki cheekily replied, right hand forming a salute before he marched out the infirmary door. As his steps clattered down the hall, his voice drifted back to the others.

"Yankee Doodle went to town/A-riding on a pony/Stuck a feather in his hat/And called it macaroni..."

All three men remaining in the room laughed, though Watari's was more of a giggle. 003 hooted along before deciding to travel outside for some sunshine and fresh air.

"Tatsumi?"

All humor faded from Tatsumi's expression as he turned to face his questioner. "Yes, Hisoka?"

"We both know this can't go on much longer. Muraki's curse makes me a liability to the department."

Both Tatsumi and Watari started to protest, but Hisoka waved aside their objections. "Don't argue with me, I'm right. Watari, you can't work on other cases, you're forced to stay here should the curse revive. I've already knocked you and Tsuzuki unconscious once: who's to say that won't happen again, or worse? Even you, Tatsumi, are affected: I don't believe you want active duty again because you're bored. You *thrive* on boring tasks like accounting and reports!"

Tatsumi's lips twisted into a slight smile; he couldn't deny the truth of that last statement. But instead of addressing Hisoka's comments, he turned to face the blonde scientist. "Watari, could I please have a few moments alone with Hisoka? Perhaps you can pull together all the medical data and research you've managed thus far."

Watari wanted to object, but Tatsumi gave him no time, escorting the scientist to the door. With his voice pitched low enough to escape Hisoka's notice, Tatsumi murmured, "I will talk to him. You need to acquire the reversal spell for the curse. Tsuzuki and I will be leaving for the living world by late afternoon."

"But, Tatsumi," Watari started, remembering to keep his voice a whisper, "we can't let Hisoka believe such nonsense!"

"True, Watari," Tatsumi responded, "and I will talk to him. Since you don't seem to think I am the nurturing type..." he paused, wryly noting the scientist's skeptical gaze, "you will have plenty of time to talk to him yourself, as you will be monitoring his condition. Knowing you, the poor boy won't have a moment of peace until he accepts your opinions on the matter."

Watari flushed slightly at the comments, but was simply content to remark, "Don't think you're going to get away with being pushy with me like this all the time, Tatsumi. I have lots of chemicals and potions, and you have to drink something *sometime*!"

Tatsumi couldn't contain the shudder that remark raised. "I wouldn't dream of it, Watari. I'll see you later."

Once the scientist's steps faded away, Tatsumi turned to face the unwilling patient sitting on the infirmary bed. Hisoka stared at his arms, at the markings not hidden by his pajamas. Tatsumi walked over to the bed, dragging a chair along the way for himself. Once seated he pondered what to say to the despondent young man.

The silence seemed to last forever, though in fact it was no more than a few minutes. In the end, no prepared words emerged; instead, the softly-spoken words seemed to travel directly from his soul to the air.

"Eternal death...if that is your desire, we have no right to deny it. Remember me saying that? I certainly cannot forget."

Startled green eyes rose to stare at the brunette Shinigami. "Tatsumi..."

"I also remember what you said: 'I don't want to lose what's important to me.' You risked your life for your partner, your best friend, while I... I was willing to let him die."

A slight watery gleam appeared in Tatsumi's eyes as he continued, "I wanted his suffering to end, and it seemed to me at the time it that death was the only way for Tsuzuki to reach some measure of peace. I mean, he'd been unhappy for decades!"

Hisoka was amazed by the intensity of Tatsumi's words. He knew the dark-haired man held deeply-felt emotions beneath his calm exterior, especially regarding Tsuzuki, but it still came as a surprise to see such feelings openly expressed. "Tatsumi, please, I understand. You were doing what you thought was right! Even Watari said so!"

One of Tatsumi's hands lifted to push back unruly bangs, a nervous gesture rarely seen. "Yes, I was right, but you made me see that I was *wrong* as well. Wrong, because there was still hope, but I couldn't see any through the darkness."

Tatsumi stopped to take a deep breath, then continued, his voice now containing a slight tremor, "Do you truly believe there is no hope for you? Do you honestly think we have exhausted all possible options? And do you really want Tsuzuki, Watari and I to simply give up and walk away from you?"

His voice faded to a whisper as he made one last comment, "You were willing to risk everything for Tsuzuki. I think you would do so for Watari and even myself, if necessary. Can't you do the same for yourself?"

Hisoka didn't consciously note the liquid now staining his face, even as he stared at Tatsumi though tear-stained eyes. His voice was rough with emotion as he answered, "I don't remember feeling hope when I was alive, not even before Muraki. My family was afraid of and disappointed in me. Then during the three years I spent dying, I never once thought there would be a cure. Death was a blessing."

Both Hisoka's hands were now furiously clenching at the bedsheets around him. Tatsumi didn't try to speak, he knew any words would be useless. He simply reached out to the closest hand and covered it with one of his own.

Hisoka looked down at their hands, then back up at Tatsumi, but made no move to escape the touch. "When I first met Tsuzuki I was angry, because I didn't understand his friendliness. Then, when Muraki captured me on our first case, I was shocked when Tsuzuki came to rescue me. It took me a while to accept his friendship and concern. Then I came to know you and the others at the JuOhCho, and I finally had a real family."

Hisoka stopped for a moment, shaking his head slightly. "A more bizarre group of people I can't imagine, but family nonetheless. I finally gain some measure of happiness, only to have my living nightmare return after death. But this time I have so much more to lose, and it hurts!"

"I know it does," Tatsumi replied, "but there is still hope. Watari probably won't sleep for days trying to find a cure. Tsuzuki and I have some strong leads, and you recognize he'd never abandon you. And I know you can sense the everyone else's concern for you. Give us a chance."

Hisoka closed his eyes briefly; when they re-opened, there was a revived light within. "You win, Tatsumi, I won't give up, not now. But if you tell *anyone* what just happened here, I'll kick you into next week!"

Tatsumi emitted a relieved chuckle, removing his hand from Hisoka's to reach into his suit. The handkerchief that emerged still bore the marks of dust from his earlier efforts in cleaning his new desk. Tatsumi wrinkled his nose in disgust. "I'm afraid this won't be of any use to you. I'll find you something else to clean up with. Don't worry about me telling tales; no-one would believe it anyway."

When Tatsumi returned with a slightly dampened cloth, Hisoka took it with a small smile. While rubbing the fabric over his face he spoke, the words slightly muffled. "Not true. You like to think everyone sees you only as the big bad secretary, but you're wrong. Thank you, Tatsumi."

Tatsumi reached in to place his right hand on Hisoka's left shoulder, and gave it a quick squeeze. "Just repaying a favor from Kyoto. Thank you, Hisoka."

More might have been said, but through the door burst the two most energetic Shinigami. "Okay, Tatsumi, you wanted research, here you are!" Watari cheerily exclaimed as he thrust three thick folders of paperwork into Tatsumi's arms. Tatsumi was still recovering from the onslaught when two more files were carelessly tossed his way; the brunette barely managed to prevent the paperwork from hitting the floor. "Careful!"

"Tough luck, guy. You asked for it, you got it, now deal!"

Tatsumi stared into bright amethyst eyes and a smiling face, then struggled to remember why he felt any annoyance at all. After a few more moments of gawking, he managed to regain his normal composure. "So, let's review the files, then pack our bags and head down to KyuShu."

Tsuzuki nodded his agreement, then exclaimed, "Hey! Since you're actually working on a case, does that mean we'll be staying in better hotels? You know, someplace with working utilities and roaches that *don't* maim?"

Both Hisoka and Watari noted their disgust. "Ewww..."

Tatsumi wasn't fazed by the comments. "I'm sure our accommodations will be most acceptable, Tsuzuki. Hopefully we won't be there more than a day or two. And be glad for the roaches: at the rate you go through your meal stipend, you may need them later."

Tsuzuki stared in shock while the other two Shinigami alternated between nausea and laughter. Tatsumi simply strolled to the door, calling back over his shoulder, "Go pack, Tsuzuki. We leave in two hours."

Tsuzuki gaped at the now empty doorway for another minute before turning to face Watari and Hisoka, both recovering from their laughter. "That *wasn't* funny, guys!"

Watari chuckled, pulling his spectacles away from amber eyes, wiping the lenses. "It certainly was, and rare from Tatsumi. Active duty will be good for him."

Hisoka added, "I'm beginning to think so, too. C'mon, Tsuzuki, you don't want to keep the man waiting. Go get your stuff...oh, and don't forget to pack the insect repellent!"

Shaking his head at Hisoka's snickers and Watari's booming laughter, Tsuzuki left the infirmary, a tiny smile on his lips that refused to go away.

***
Notes:

"Yankee Doodle Dandy" copyright unknown. Obtained from the National Institute of Environmental Health Services website (www.niehs.nih.gov/kids/musicpatriot.htm), which credits Richard Shuckburgh for lyrics.

I refer to lines contained in the manga translation of Volume 8, Number 26, part of the Kyoto Chapter. Translation obtained at the theria.net site, http://theria.net/yaminomatsuei/index.html