Yami No Matsuei Fan Fiction ❯ Forever ❯ One-Shot

And welcome to the final part of the 'Illusions' series.

First all, I would like to give a big thank you to everyone who has watched this series and left me a review here.

Special thanks goes out to Katsue, for offering to host my first two fics on her site. *Hugs*

Warnings: Character death, lime, dark content, and semi-dark!Hisoka. It is advisable you read 'Illusions' and 'Dream' before reading this story.

I never expected this to turn into a mini-series, but it did. And this is the conclusion to it. Over 3k words. And I hope you all enjoy it!

And I promise to be by your side, always…

"Kurosaki-kun, may I speak with you please?"

Hisoka looked up from the paperwork on his desk into crystal blue eyes. He wasn't expecting Tatsumi to visit him today or any day, at least. Ever since the incident about three months ago, Tatsumi and Hisoka avoided each other like the black plague. This, of course, got Tsuzuki a little upset, but Hisoka insisted that it was Tatsumi's fault, as he had no problem with him in the first place. There was no real reason for him to ignore Tatsumi, from his point of view, and came to the conclusion that perhaps Tatsumi was avoiding him because of the incident or perhaps because he knew the relationship between Tsuzuki and Hisoka was... more than friendship.

He turned to his partner, who was sitting over at his desk, actually writing something down on a report and Hisoka smiled to himself. Before, Tsuzuki would always find some sort of excuse for not doing any paperwork. However, recently, Tsuzuki was more willing to do things that Hisoka asked him to. Although, most of the time, he had to help Tsuzuki himself after a while, due to him not knowing what to write or what to do. To Hisoka, though, it was the fact that Tsuzuki listened and was willing to help than actually finishing what he asked him to do.

Putting down his pen, he looked at Tatsumi and nodded his head. "Of course, Tatsumi-san. Let me finish this paper up and we can step outside and..."

"Hisoka, how long are you going to keep this up?"

A nervous feeling started to rise up from his stomach. Tatsumi never used Hisoka's first name save the incident that happened months ago. His eyes darted to his partner, who was rising from his seat, giving Hisoka a serious look before stepping out of the office.

No words were needed between them anymore. And Hisoka noted, at least Tsuzuki was polite enough to leave the room. The look he gave Hisoka said that he would be outside the room and available to talk if things didn't go so well.

Swallowing the lump in his throat, he asked, "What do you mean, Tatsumi-san?"

A sigh came from the older man as he adjusted his glasses. "I was hoping that you would eventually recover from this by now, but it seems this affected you more than I realize in the worst possible way."

"Tatsumi-san?"

"Hisoka, how long are you going to deny the fact that is in front of you?"

"Tatsumi-san, I don't think this conversation is appropriate here. And I don't know what..."

"It's about... Tsuzuki-san."

And Hisoka remembered. How Tatsumi said Tsuzuki was dead. How he wanted him to "get some rest" and stay away from work for a little bit.

A weak laugh came from the boy's lips. "Tatsumi-san, I'm afraid you and many others were mistaken. Tsuzuki's been with me for the past three months now."

"I want you to see Watari-san, starting tomorrow," Tatsumi continued, as if Hisoka never spoke, "And I want you to remain with someone at all times until the end of the week, when your new partner arrives."

"Tatsumi-san, I said... Wait a minute! New partner!?"

"Yes, your new partner. He'll be transferring here by the end of this week and..."

"But I already have a partner!"

"Hisoka!" Tatsumi grabbed Hisoka shoulders and shook him. "Tsuzuki is dead! He's been dead for months! He died protecting you! There was nothing we could have done and we were lucky we were able to still save you! It's hard to accept the fact, as everyone around here cared deeply about Tsuzuki, but... we have to accept the fact and move on."

"Tatsumi-san..."

Tatsumi pulled away from the young teen and looked down at him. "It's hard, and I see this was much harder on you than I realized. I was hoping that you would eventually figure it out on your own, but I was mistaken. Starting tomorrow, you're going to stay with Watari-san and help him out with anything for the next week. Then you're going to stay at his house until the end of the week, before your partner comes here. And then..."

"I didn't know you were so cruel, Tatsumi-san..."

Tatsumi looked a little startled at being interrupted. "I beg your pardon?"

"I didn't think you would be this jealous..."

"Excuse me?"

Hisoka looked up, his green eyes ablaze with some sort of inner emotion along with half formed tears. Tsuzuki's echoing emotions were in the back of his mind and he knew he was watching them now. Hearing everything.

"I can't believe you would try to split me and Tsuzuki up just because you're jealous." He shook his head when Tatsumi opened his mouth to speak. "Don't interrupt me!" A calm expression passed the secretary's face and he didn't say anything. Knowing that Tatsumi wouldn't interrupt again, he went on. "That's why you've been avoiding me for the past three months, isn't it? Because you know what's going on between us now, ever since that incident. And I don't want to hear any excuses from you either! I've known how you felt towards Tsuzuki for a while now! You may fool yourself, but you can't fool an empath!"

Hisoka was tempted to laugh just outright as the shadow master's usually calm face became a little pale. However, Hisoka was too upset at the moment to do anything but let his anger out, so he continued.

"And now, all of a sudden, when things are going right between us, you have the nerve to come in here and say that I need to "get over" Tsuzuki, when he's been with me for the past three months! Does it bother you that much that Tsuzuki has found someone else to confine in? It must bother you a great deal to know that the person you care deeply about and desired so much is now with someone else, who's moved on and given his love to another! And yes, we have given our love to each other, and not just through words either!"

He couldn't keep the small smirk that formed on his lips back when blue eyes widened. He could faintly feel cold shock from the Shadow Master and knew that he had hit a very rough spot. He could feel a few other emotions in the background and forgot the door was left open. And voices tend to carry as well...

"Well, let me tell you something, Seiichirou! I'm not going to give Tsuzuki up! Especially not to you! And not to anyone else, for that fact either! You're the one who partnered us up in the first place!

"And you're the one who gave him up too! Do you have any idea at how much that hurt Tsuzuki!? Do you have any idea how, sometimes, when we're alone at night, he cries and hurts because of it!? Oh, but you wouldn't notice, since you rather live in your own world of denial than anything!

"And I'm sorry if it bothers you so greatly that Tsuzuki and I love each other, but I'm not going to get a new partner or pretend that he's dead when he's not because you and others don't approve of us being together! What matters is that Tsuzuki and me are happy, and I didn't think anyone would be this petty over it! I'm not going to leave Tsuzuki, because I belong with him and no one else!"

The silence after Hisoka's outburst was eerie. The only thing that could be heard was the heavy breathing of the empath, his anger finally dissipating away. The tension in the air was too much for Hisoka to even comprehend. Not to mention that Tsuzuki probably heard every word that he said to Tatsumi.

And the fact that everyone in the Shokan building had probably heard his outburst as well.

And that's when the tears came.

It took all of Hisoka's last energy to push Tatsumi aside before running out of the room, keeping his head low and brushing past people. He heard Tsuzuki call his name, but paid no attention. Right now, he just wanted be anywhere but where he was.

-

Crying. That's all he was good for. After all, he was a child, wasn't he?

It wasn't until he came to his house, locking the door behind him and collapsing on his bed, crying into his pillow, that he realized exactly what he had done. He had let all that pent up rage on Tatsumi, who was only trying to help Hisoka in the first place. Not only that, but everyone in the building had heard his outburst, including...

But he was dead, wasn't he?

But then, why did he feel a warm hand stroking his head? Why did he hear a voice whispering him to him?

He turned up and found himself looking into a pair of violet eyes.

"Tsuzuki..." Was all Hisoka could manage to choke out before succumbing to another painful fit of sobbing. He not only probably hurt Tatsumi with his outburst, but also embarrassed himself in front of his co-workers. And most likely, he hurt...

"Shhh... It's okay. I'm not mad..."

A hiccup. "You're... not?"

"I heard what Tatsumi said to you and I understand why you got upset. It's okay, Hisoka. I'm here for you..."

With a wail of anguish, he fell into his partners arms, still sobbing. Right now, he didn't care how he looked or if he looked weak. The fact was that he hurt all over and the only way he knew how to get rid of it was through crying.

He didn't know how long he had been crying for. His chest hurt from sobbing so much and his eyes felt dry. It took an effort to breathe as well. He could only imagine what he looked like...

"Feel better?"

He looked up at Tsuzuki, who smiled warmly down at him, still stroking his hair. In the back of his head, he wondered if this really was real. So many doubts and confusion ran through him, that he thought he would drown just by thinking about them.

"Tsuzuki... You're really here, aren't you?"

"Hisoka?"

"You're not... dead or fake or..."

He was cut off when he felt a pair of warm lips against his own and felt himself being pulled closer to the older man's body. Hisoka let his fingers tangle in chocolate brown hair as he parted his lips, granting access to which Tsuzuki couldn't refuse. Feeling the exploring tongue, the way Tsuzuki's hands lifted his shirt and stroked his bareback; he vaguely wondered why he thought that Tsuzuki wasn't real or in front of him.

When the lips parted from him, a small whimper escaped his throat. The gentle smile was still on Tsuzuki's lips, as if saying that he was here, that he would always be here, never leaving him for a moment. But right now, what he wanted...

"Please..." Hisoka heard himself whisper before he even thought about it and felt his cheeks flush slightly from embarrassment. He heard a laugh from his partner before he felt those warm lips on his neck. A soft sigh escaped his lips before he started to unbutton his shirt, impatient already.

He felt Tsuzuki laugh against his skin. "Well, aren't you eager today?"

A scowl crossed his face. "I just..." He was cut off as he felt a flicker of Tsuzuki's tongue on one of his nipples, causing him to gasp and shudder in anticipation. "I just... really need this... To know you're here, with me..."

"I'm always here with you, Hisoka. We don't have to do this if..."

"It's okay. Not just because of that, but because I want it. I need it..."

"I understand... But after, we need to really talk, okay?"

"Tsuzuki, what..." And the breath was stolen out of him as he felt a mouth engulf the rest of his nipple. He wanted to ask Tsuzuki what he wanted to talk about, having the feeling that it was something important. But Tsuzuki, when he wanted to avoid something, he knew just how to do it, stealing the breath out of Hisoka through his actions, knowing every sensitive spot on the empath's body.

Tsuzuki knew just how to turn him into a writhing pile of goo beneath him, and before he knew it, instead of asking Tsuzuki what he wanted to, he was begging him for release. To go to that one place in time, the one place where those hands and mouth would bring him to a height of bliss before clinging back to reality; hot, sticky and messy, but relieved and ultimately feeling better before they started. Then they would crawl into each other's arms, clinging to one another as if the other was a lifeline.

They called that the 'ultimate expression of love' sometimes. Sometimes, they just said it was just a peek of bliss that the human body felt and that anyone could do it.

But with Tsuzuki, it was something much more different. It was an expression of love. It was giving pleasure to themselves as well. But something else too. The sense of 'completeness' he felt afterwards. The feeling of knowing that he belonged right where he was, feeling safe, feeling like he was important and mattered...

Right now, all he wanted to do was sleep. Forget about the argument with Tatsumi and just bask in the warmth of the body next to him...

But this time, instead of falling into slumber's embrace, Tsuzuki voice called out to him. "Hisoka... you were right today..."

"What?" No matter how many times they made love to each other, it always left Hisoka feeling a little light-headed afterwards. Which probably explains why they always fell asleep afterwards. "Can't we talk about this tomorrow? I'm really tired..."

"It's important... Hisoka, you may think you were in the wrong when you... yelled at Tatsumi today, but you weren't?"

"What do you mean?"

"I heard everything that you two "talked" about. Tatsumi... is jealous of us, you know. He still does... love me. And he doesn't want us to be with each other."

"But I don't understand that! Why!? He..." And he felt the tears coming on once again. Why did things have to go wrong when they decided to go right for a change?

A hand ruffled his hair. "It's okay, Hisoka. I won't let Tatsumi get between us. But... I don't think we can go against him. I know he's going to talk to Konoe about it and he might still..."

"But, I don't want...!"

"I didn't say we can't do anything. There is something we can do, but..."

"But?"

"Tomorrow. I'll take you to a place I know of. It's old and not many Shinigami know of it. And..."

"And?"

"I'll tell you tomorrow about it. I'll leave the decision up to you..."

"Tsuzuki..."

"Hey, what did I say about that? Remember? You can use my given name when we're like this..." A nuzzle of the cheeks and warm lips met each other.

"I'm sorry, Asato..."

"Go to sleep now. Tomorrow, things will be okay..."

-

Hisoka knew why Tsuzuki was hesitant on telling him about the area last night.

The area around him looked dead. Not the same type of dead that's commonly scene on earth, where there were still splotches of colors. This area was completely gray, no other color, save for themselves, were apparent in the area. What's worse, the ground was covered with bones. Not just human bones either, but animal bones. The air was so thick, that he could barely breath and had to keep a cloth over his face. It was also extremely hot too, the air seeming like it would melt before him.

Not to mention that every negative emotion seemed to be targeted to this one area. It took all of Hisoka's will to keep his psychic shields up. If Tsuzuki weren't here with him, he would've left the area instantly. His gaze went to his partner just then to see how he was fairing.

Tsuzuki, however, was having no problem walking through the place. He didn't even have a cloth over his mouth, he was able to walk on, the air not even affecting him. A solemn expression was painted on his face.

"Hisoka..." Tsuzuki began, looking at the ground. "I brought you here for a reason and you may think of me acting very selfishly afterwards, but..." Here, he took Hisoka's free hand and looked at him. "I do love you. And even if I plead and beg and try to pull strings, it's not going to work this time."

"Tsuzuki, what IS this place?"

"This area, once ago, was pretty normal. Like what you see in Meifu. Trees blossoming, plants growing, and everything. It was a beautiful area.

"But one day, a Shinigami went missing. Everyone went out to search for him, as it was very unusual for a Shinigami to just disappear and turn up missing. They found him in this area. No one knew how he died or if he even died in this area; they just discovered him one day while out searching for him. From what little I know, he was a hard worker, never really caused any sort of trouble and was the best at his time. It came a great surprise when they found him here.

"Soon after, another Shinigami was found in this area. Same circumstances. She was a hard worker, doing her best and everything. She ended up going missing and they found her body here.

"And after that, anyone who came here, whether a Shinigami, animal or even plant, would die. They eventually called this a cursed area and closed it to everyone. During the years, people still managed to walk upon it, and well..." He waved his hand out to the horizon. "This is what happened to them."

"Why is it so hot though?"

"No one really knows. Some people call it 'The entrance to Hell'. Some people think it's just a cursed place. Some people think this is the 'Meifu' for Shinigami. But no one really knows."

"Tsuzuki..." Hisoka began, his stomach taking a flip-flop. "You brought me to this place because... you want me to die?"

He noticed the distant and watery look in Tsuzuki's eyes. "I want both of us to die. I don't want us to be separated anymore..."

"Anymore? Tsuzuki..." He felt the cloth removed from his mouth. The moment it left his mouth, the air hit him and he felt himself coughing and gagging for air. He wanted desperately to ask Tsuzuki something, but he couldn't stop coughing to even let out one symbol of a word.

"Please, Hisoka?" Pleading violet eyes.

He couldn't even get a breath of air. What did Tsuzuki mean by 'being separated anymore'? They weren't separated to begin with, right?

"Please, Hisoka... I've been so alone... So lonely..."

His vision was swarming around him. He couldn't breath anymore, his mouth tasting like ash and smoke. He felt himself fall on top of the many piles of bones below him. How many had died here before him?

"I promised you that I would always be by your side. That I would be with you forever..."

How many of them had died chasing illusions and lost dreams?

Before he lost consciousness, he was aware of violet eyes looking over him. Dimly, he wondered why the place had no effect on Tsuzuki. And then, finally, he was able to wake up from the trap that seemed to ensnarl him forever for one instant. It was so painfully obvious, that he felt very foolish when the realization dawned upon him.

But it was too late to do anything about it. He made his choice. And even with the realization, he wouldn't have changed his choice. The control he had on his shields was breaking way and soon, every emotion would be upon him. Even if he somehow found the energy to stand, the emotions would suffocate him or eventually drive him mad.

Even then, though, he wasn't sad. He wasn't upset. A strange sort of feeling came over him as he closed his eyes, embracing the dark void that fell upon him.

Yes… He would do anything for Tsuzuki... Do anything to be with him…

"Please, Hisoka... Die for me..."