Yami No Matsuei Fan Fiction ❯ Kurikara's Rant ❯ Prologue

Kurikara's Rant

disclaimer: I don't own Yami no Matsuei. Yoko Matsushita and Hakusensha do.

There are MAJOR Gensou Kai hen spoilers here! I wrote this because no one ever writes about Kurikara, and he's one of my favorite characters. ^^;;; (And if something sounds slanted/not true, it's probably because I'm writing from Kurikara's viewpoint and therefore intentional. I also intentionally made some stuff up, like the Tenkou stuff. ^^;)

My life sucks. Seriously.

It's all SohRyuOh's fault. He has this self-esteem problem, so he rounds up all the shikigami that are more powerful than he is and locks them up so he doesn't have to look at their power! I mean, look at Touda, who was locked up for so long! Look at ME! That stupid dragon POKED OUT MY EYE! Where's the justice in THAT?

Maybe I should get together with Touda some time. He probably hates SohRyuOh, too.

Oh, wait. Scratch that. I think I might have ruined my relations with him when I broke his visor.

Then there's the matter of that lunatic sword of mine! Kurikara RyuOh makes better swords than that insane Futsu no Mitama, THANK YOU VERY MUCH. Its stupid "fufufufu!" is HORRIBLE! I really ought send that crow a nice basket of fruit for breaking it. Even though I didn't appear for about five thousand chapters after he broke it, because they all went to that dysfunctional Kurosaki family!

I really hate the Kurosaki family. They steal my screen time, and they spawned that loser with the cactus that keeps harrassing me! Stupid kid and his stupid cactus, interrupting me when I'm trying to make a new sword- how can I get rid of that STUPID Futsu no Mitama and its STUPID "fufufufu!" if I don't have a replacement?!

When I finally DO get a replacement, it has a name a million letters long! How the HELL am I supposed to spell Ame no Murakumo?! Honestly! Japan might have a 100% literacy rate, but the Gensou Kai doesn't!

I suppose I could go back to using Futsu no Mitama, now that it's revived. The "fufufufu" doesn't seem half so bad now that it's stabbed SohRyuOh. WHERE'S YOU EGO NOW, SOHRYUOH? I got you on your own gazebo, without even being there myself! BUAHAHAHA!

I wonder if Futsu no Mitama could finish off that cactus kid for me? Probably not. It failed before, after all. AGAINST THAT CROW, OF ALL THINGS!

Bah. Now I've heard that SohRyuOh is telling Kijin that we used to be best friends. Me, friends with that walking self-esteem problem? Of course not! THE MAN POKED MY EYE OUT! OF COURSE HE'S NOT MY FRIEND!

He did ask me to marry his daughter, though, back before that first war. I think he foresaw the war or something, considering that we both were at the age (and still are, technically) where the opposite sex is really yucky. Tenkou was always trying to dress me up in frilly things and have tea parties. Shudder. Barf.

So, my swords are my only friends. Murakumo (who decided that I nicknamed my sword, anyway? WHO THE HELL NICKNAMES THEIR SWORD?!) is all right, I guess, even though he's no fun. He can't even swim!

And THEN there's that loser Kijin Raitei. What the hell is his problem? I tried to explain to him that no, I was NOT involved with that stupid Konton! Then he went nuts, and almost destroyed half of Japan!

I really hope those Kurosaki that keep stealing my screen time are grateful. I saved their sorry asses when Kijin was blowing huge chunks out of the Japanese archipelago.

Naturally, in his rage, he managed to totally miss that cactus-toting loser.

...yeah, it was supposed to be really short and silly. I might do another one sometime... depending on when I get new material (aka when Yoko Matsushita takes a break from that stupid Kamakura hen to write more on the Gensou Kai hen... I personally could care less when Nagare has sex with a snake... -.-;;;).