Yami No Matsuei Fan Fiction ❯ Muraki Reloaded ❯ The Telephone "Crisis" ( Chapter 1 )

Warnings: Mild OOCness (mostly of Tsuzuki), mild language, sexual innuendo, and adult situations. And this is a fanfic NOT to be taken seriously.

Disclaimer: I didn't make Yami no Matsuei or the Matrix, nor do I own it, blah, blah, blah, yeah, you know the rest. Ok, 'nuff chit-chat. Here's the "ebal" fanfic from Hell.

***

Once your mind's takin' a swim in the gutter,

You're sure to here one mutter,

"Holy crap, we're gonna drown! Will ya quit makin' that rubbing sound?"

"Come on, I DARE you to..."

"No way, man!"

"What'sa matter? 'Fraid that guy's gonna come out of the phone and kidnap ya?"

"No man, I mean, what if we get caught, dude?"

"No one's gonna catch us!"

"Caller I.D..."

"Hey, we're using my sister's phone. SHE'LL be the one to blame if the guy you're gonna call is gonna use that damn I.D. method..."

"Alright..."

With that agreement, the teenager picked up the phone, and reluctantly dialed the number of the "mad doctor" the two teens had heard about.

"O-OK...it's ringing!"

"Well what the hell did you expect to hear after dialing the number?"

"Shut up! He just picked up--"

"Hello?" spoke the voice of the mysterious doctor.

"Uh...yeah...hi...is...uh...your refridgerator running, sir?"

"Dude, that was LAME!"

"Shut up--I mean, this is an urgent question sir, is your refridgerator running?"

The doctor smirked (though the teen couldn't see it) and replied, "I believe it isn't right now. But I can make it run..."

"E-excuse me sir?"

"In fact, I believe I can make you run as well. Do please meet me...we can talk about the refridgerator...and make it run together..."

"WHOA! Hold up, old man! I mean, wh-what do you mean?"

"I've been rather lonely these past few months, and could use some comfort. Perhaps my refridgerator could use some too..."

"A-alright, g'bye..."

The teen hung up the phone without even bothering to hear the man's responding, "Good-bye..." He was too busy panting and sweating from the horror of the man he just spoke to.

"What happened, dude?"

"Dude...the guy wanted me to go fuck a refridgerator with him..."

The MD (Mysterious Doctor A/N: Yes I did "MD" on purpose) hung up the phone. Only to hear it ring again.

"Hello?"

"Hello sir, we were wondering if you were interested in subscribing to--sir?"

"Yes?"

"What is that noise?"

"Noise?"

"Yes, a rubbing sound..."

"No haven't....ohhhh....heard any noises back...yeees...here..."

"I-is something going on, sir?"

"No, please continue...ahhh...."

"Uh...right...we were just wondering if you'd like to subscribing to our newest magazine, the...sir...?"

No answer. Except the sounds of content sighs and grunts.

"Um...good-bye, sir..."

Where was our beloved Tsuzuki in the midst of all this mahem you ask? He was unaware of it, unfortunately. I can tell you, however, that the next day he went for a stroll. Yet, right when he thought all was quiet, his cell phone rang.

"Hello?"

"Tsuzuki?"

"Uh, yes? Who is this?"

"Tsuzuki, I have something very important to tell you..."

"Wha? Who is this?"

"My identity must be kept secret..."

Tsuzuki had to sweatdrop at this. If this was a prank call, it was a very lame one. What was it with kids these days?

"Listen, this is ridiculous. If you aren't going to tell me just who you are, then I'll hang up."

"No, wait!"

"Who is this then?"

"..."

"All right, I'm hanging up..."

"WAIT! Tsuzuki-san, you've gotta help me now!"

"Who are you then?"

"I-I can't tell! Please, you've gotta recognize my voice!"

"Look, I don't recognize your voice. Just who the hell are you and why can't you tell me your name?"

"TSUZUKI-SAAAN! I'M STUCK IN A ROOM FULL OF VIRGIN NURSES!!"

"Wa-Watari-san?"

"YES!!!"

"Oh my God, Watari! Wh-what's going on?"

"I'll tell you what's going on! I just walked to my computer, 003 and Gushoushin weren't there, the door shut by itself-- AUGH! GET OFF OF ME! A-and suddenly...th-these nurses came pouring in..."

"What?!"

"It's true! And they told me they were all virgins and well...if I 'tell you who I am' they'll rape me!"

"How can a bunch of nurses do that to you..."

"I don't know! They're...inhuman! And somehow, they've locked the door and 'muted the sound' so no one can here me from outside!"

"Are the nurses named 'Mary Sue'?"

"What?"

"Well, I mean..."

"TSUZUKI-SAN, HELP ME N--"

Watari was cut off.

What the hell was that about? thought Tsuzuki as he shut his cell phone.

Whatever. Needed to..."save" Watari. Or whatever was going on with him. Tsuzuki wouldn't be too surprised if this was all just a joke. But nevertheless, Tsuzuki ran back, ignoring his reluctance.

However...a sign caught Tsuzuki's eye...:

CINNAPONS! ON SALE! ONLY 1 YEN A PIECE!

1 yen a piece? This couldn't possibly be a dream, could it?

"Just a dream...just a dream..." Tsuzuki muttered, trying to over come his temptation to break into the store all together.

Remember, Watari needs your help...his virginity is in danger!

But...what if it was all just a trick? Yeah it had to be. Come on, virgin nurses pouring into the room? Get real, Watari.

With that, Tsuzuki turned and headed straight towards the bakery, where the 5-yen-apiece-cinnabons were being sold.

But...as soon as he entered the bakery...he found that there was no bakery. Instead, he found what appeared to be a simple room. Not a room of a house. Just a room. The walls had pleasant pictures hanging on them, a majority of them being paintings of sakura trees. One had a ruby moon in it, giving the picture a sort of poetic beauty. Wait...where had he seen this before? In the middle of the room was an unmade bed...with a telephone laid on top of it...

Was he in a house? No...otherwise, why did it have that sign out in front?

Tsuzuki walked towards the bed, picked up the phone, but immediately dropped it. There appeared to be a sort of white slimy substance covering it. What was it?

"Ah, it's Tsuzuki-san..."

A/N: Muwahaha, cliffhanger time.

Yes, those lyrics to the "Gutter song" were made up by me so don't bothering suing the creator. :P