Yu-Gi-Oh! Fan Fiction / Fullmetal Alchemist Fan Fiction ❯ The Unforgivable Sin ❯ Chapter 1 ( Chapter 1 )

Chapter 1

 

All I knew for a long time was darkness. The kind of deep blackness that one can only get from unconsciousness. I didn't have to feel or hear or see or think. The darkness was all that existed.

 

But that sweet state of oblivion had to end sometime, and reality was cruel indeed. The first thing I noticed as I rose from that darkness was the pain. A sharp, almost unbearable throb halfway down my left thigh, and below that the familiar ache of phantom pain. That's when I remembered…my other leg had been taken. Taken in the midst of that horrifying transmutation.

 

I had failed.

 

That realization slammed me fully into consciousness. I opened my eyes and squeezed them shut again to block out the dizzying, painful light. These sensations, this physical discomfort, it was all too familiar. I had experienced it a year ago, when that train derailed. But now it was coupled with the awful knowledge of what I had failed to do.

 

The memory of those last few minutes before I had passed out returned to my mind unbidden. The incredible pain as my leg was ripped away. The thick, choking smoke that had formed during the transmutation process. The hope that rose in me as the smoke began to clear, and the form of someone lying on the floor, in the middle of the circle, became slowly visible.

 

The crushing horror and despair when I realized that this thing, lying on the floor and struggling for its first breaths, wasn't my brother. It wasn't even human.

 

And after that the sweet oblivion of unconsciousness had taken me.

 

A tear leaked out, and another joined it, running from the corner of my eye down into my hair. It was then that I became aware of the argument taking place behind a closed door.

 

“There's no proof that he really tried that,” one voice said. I recognized it immediately as Atemu, the young man who ran the town's automail shop along with his brother, Yugi. Atemu had been the one to fashion my right leg after the accident a year ago. He and Yugi were among the few friends I've ever had. I recognized now that I was in Yugi's room. Someone must have found me and carried me here.

 

“There's no other explanation,” a different voice retorted, and I winced. It was the harsh, cold voice of my father. “That circle, the way everything in the room was knocked out of place. And the fact that he's missing his other leg now. He tried to resurrect Akira using alchemy, and he failed.”

 

I stared at the door now as Atemu let out a resigned sigh. “I can have a new leg ready for him in a few days,” he said in a weary voice. He must have been tired of arguing with my father. But then, my father often has that affect on people.

 

“Fix him up if you want! But don't send any bills to my house, Atemu. That boy is no son of mine.”

 

More hot tears leaked out at the proclamation, even though I had fully expected it. My father was an alchemist himself, and he was also the most respected man in town. He would have nothing to do with me now. I had attempted the forbidden, with nothing to show for it but a bleeding stump where a leg used to be and an unnatural creature that had to struggle just to breathe. Dimly, I wondered about the creature, for I hadn't heard a mention of it, but I dismissed it quickly from my mind. The thing that should have been my brother probably died soon after I created it. If it was even alive in the first place. Either way, it was too painful to think about, so I didn't.

 

The sound of a door slamming reached my ears, and I knew that my father had left. After a few minutes, the door to my room opened, and Yugi walked in, carrying a tray of food.

 

“Ryou!” he gasped when he saw me. “You're awake!” He ran over to my bed and set the tray down on a nearby table. “How do you feel?”

 

I stared up at the ceiling, unwilling to meet his worried eyes. “Like a train hit me,” I said in a pitiful attempt at humor. “And then came back to hit me again.”

 

“Ryou…”

 

I winced inwardly at the tone of his voice. I hated it when people worried about me. That was all anyone had ever done for the past year, too. I was sick of it. “I'm fine,” I told him. “I'll be just fine.”

 

Silence met me, and I knew he didn't believe me. Which he shouldn't have; I very damn well wasn't fine, and neither was I a good liar. And this…this latest experience had done more than maim me again. It had torn my heart to shreds.

 

The door opened again, and Atemu poked his head in. He must have heard us talking and come to check on me. “It's about time you woke up,” he commented quietly. “I was getting worried about you.”

 

The worry thing again. I turned my head towards the wall in irritation and shame. “Don't worry about me,” I said. “I'll be fine in no time. Even if I can't afford a new automail leg.”

 

I heard both the brothers gasp. They knew then that I had overheard at least part of the argument with my father.

 

“Ryou,” Atemu started in a choked voice. “I'm sure your father didn't mean that. If you only talked to him, I'm sure he'd—“

 

“No, Atemu,” I said, cutting him off as I finally turned to look at him. “He's made up his mind. There's no changing it.”

 

Understanding dawned in Atemu's eyes as I looked at him, and he paled noticeably. “Ryou,” he breathed. “You didn't really…”

 

I closed my eyes, unable to look at the brothers anymore. “I couldn't do it,” I told them, choking back a sob. “I don't know what went wrong! I thought everything was perfect, but…” I couldn't go on. How could I possibly describe the enormity of this failure to the Mutous, who were only automail engineers? They knew nothing about alchemy; it was a foreign science to them. What's more, they were both still alive. They still had each other. How could they possibly imagine the despair I felt now? Akira had been dead for just over a year now, but always I had held out hope. I would see him again. If I studied enough, if I practiced enough, I could bring him back. Now there was no hope. I had failed, and my brother was gone forever. There was nothing more I could do, other than live with the fact that I would never see him again.

 

And that I had committed a terrible crime against him.

 

“You're alive,” Yugi said. I opened my eyes again to look at him. The look he gave me was one of sorrow and pity, not the contempt and disgust I had expected, but somehow that just made me feel worse. “That's all that matters right now,” he continued, taking my hand and squeezing it gently. “Why don't you eat something now? It might make you feel better.” He let go of my hand then and got up, walking to the door.

 

“I'm making a new leg for you,” Atemu said as he moved over to let his younger brother pass by. “Don't worry about the cost; consider it an early birthday gift.” He shut the door then, and I was all alone.

 

I grimaced at his parting words, remembering that my birthday was next week. Not that it mattered at all; I felt as if I had aged a hundred years in that one night. I sat up, fighting a sudden wave of dizziness and pain, and stared at the tray of food for a few seconds before sighing and lowering myself gently back down on the bed. Yugi was wrong; only one thing wound make me feel better right now, and it wasn't food.

 

I closed my eyes and waited for the sweet darkness to take me again.

 

* * *

 

My mother came to see me the next morning.

 

I was still bed-ridden by pain and nausea, but I could at least sit up now without feeling dizzy. I was sitting against the bed's backboard, staring out the window when I saw her coming down the dusty road towards the automail shop. I lay back down again immediately and turned my face to the wall, hoping that she'd think I was asleep when she came in.

 

I didn't want to face her. I couldn't.

 

I heard the door open and then close again. “I think he's asleep,” Yugi's muffled voice said, and I breathed easier. He was easily fooled.

 

“Let me check,” came a second voice. I winced, trying to even out my breathing as the door opened again. My mother was a master at seeing through any act.

 

The door opened again, and I shut my eyes as light footsteps made their way across the floor. There was a light touch on my shoulder, and my mother spoke again. “Ryou, honey, I know you're awake. Sit up and talk to me, son.”

 

I stubbornly continued my charade, and when she spoke next, her tone was one that only a mother irritated at her child could have. “Ryou, sit up and look at me.”

 

No use pretending now. With a sigh, I sat up, though I kept my gaze on some point on the wall beyond rather than looking at her.

 

“Ryou…why?”

 

I bit my lip in a vain effort to keep it from trembling. “I just…wanted to see Akira again,” I whispered, trying to keep my voice from cracking. “Is that so wrong?”

 

“No, sweetheart,” Mom replied in a quiet voice. “It's not wrong to miss your brother. But trying to transmute him…”

 

“Why?” I broke in, finally looking her in the eyes. “Why is human transmutation so wrong? So what if no one has ever accomplished it before! There's a first time for everything!” My voice was rising as all the built up frustration and pain within me finally found an outlet. “Touka Koukan: everything was there! I had everything right! What went wrong? Tell me!” I had begun to cry by now.

 

Mom didn't answer at first. She simply put her arms around me and pulled me close, letting me sob into her shoulder. “It's forbidden because it is dangerous,” she said after a few minutes. “Many people have died attempting it. So now it is believed that it is God's territory, and that it is a sin.” She pulled back to look at me again, and I could see now that she was crying, too. “Ryou, I'd love to see Akira again, too. But if you had to die to bring him back, I couldn't bear it. I don't want to lose you, too.”

 

“Too late,” I answered dully, returning my gaze to the back wall. “Father's already thrown me out.”

 

She winced. “I'll…talk to him,” she assured me. “Don't worry about a thing, sweetheart. You'll be able to come home soon.” She kissed my forehead then and left.

 

I lay back in the bed again and stared at the ceiling. She could talk to my father all day and night, and he wouldn't change his mind. We both knew that. I had lost my brother, my legs, and my home.

 

I was all alone.

 

* * *

 

Two days later, Atemu had my new leg ready. It was nothing special to me; I already had one metal limb, after all. Although I had to admit, the Mutous' automail was the best in the area. I watched Yugi as he made the last few connections. Finally, he set his hand on the last connection and looked up at me. “You ready?” he asked.

 

I grimaced. Connecting live nerve endings to automail created pain beyond anything a person could feel. I remembered it well from last year, and I truly dreaded this moment. The look on Yugi's face told me he felt the same way. “Oh, just get it over with,” I snapped, gripping the arms of the chair I was sitting in.

 

Yugi twisted the connection into place, and I screamed aloud at the pain, tears running down my face once again. The chair's arms splintered in my hands, and Atemu rushed in to help Yugi carry me to a bed. I wouldn't be able to do anything else that day as I rode out the waves of agony.

 

* * *

 

My mother came back later that evening. I knew even before she spoke that she had failed to convince my father to let me come back home. Just as I had known. I didn't have the energy to sit up, so I simply lay in the bed and watched as she walked over to me, pulling up a chair to sit down beside my bed. She cleared her throat, but she didn't start talking, and neither did she meet my eyes.

 

“Father's not letting me return home,” I stated.

 

She nodded.

 

“Mom? Can I ask you one thing?”

 

“Of course, Ryou.”

 

“What…what happened to it?” I whispered, shuddering at the memory.

 

She blinked. “What happened to what?”

 

“Ah…” The name died on my lips. There was no way I could say it in reference to that monster I had created. “The…thing…that was there. In Akira's place.”

 

Her face twisted in confusion. “Nothing and nobody else was in the house when we got home that night, Ryou,” she said softly, brushing a lock of hair away from my eyes. “Just you. Alone, and injured.”

 

I stared up at the ceiling. So…it was gone. That was for the best. I never wanted to see it again. Or even hear of it.

 

“I had an idea last night,” Mom said suddenly, a falsely cheerful tone in her voice. “I have some old friends in Central City, and one of them is an alchemist. I called them up last night, and they said they'd love for you to go stay with them for a little while. I think it would be a nice change for you to get out some and see the world.”

 

“Are you trying to get rid of me too, Mom?”

 

She winced, obviously very hurt, but I didn't care. It was an honest question.

 

“No, sweetheart, I'm not,” she answered, pain lacing her voice. “I just think it would be best if you left town for a few days. Give your father time to calm down and see reason. He'll miss you, I'm sure. And as long as you're with the Ishtars, I'll be able to keep in touch. It's only temporary, Ryou. You'll be able to come home soon.”

 

“…One of them's an alchemist?”

 

Mom nodded.

 

I had done a lot of thinking over the past few days about alchemy, and I still wasn't sure if I wanted to continue studying it. But what else could I do? It was my only talent, and according to what everyone in our town said, I was one of the best, like my father. I sighed. So I failed once. What that really a good reason to give it up forever? “Okay, sure,” I said in a resigned tone. “I'll go.”

 

Mom smiled brightly and leaned forward to kiss my forehead. “I'll get you a train ticket and pack a few of your things for you,” she said as she got up to leave. “Take care, Ryou.”

 

Yugi ran in just a few seconds after she had left. “Central City!” he gasped in envy, not caring that he had just informed me he had been eavesdropping. “Wow, Ryou, you're so lucky!”

 

I grimaced at the irony in his words, but I didn't interrupt him as he rattled on about the many sights and places in the capital city. Let him be excited for me; I had far too much on my mind.

 

Touka Koukan: The Principle of Equivalent Trade. In order to gain something, you must sacrifice something of equal value. It is the first and foremost rule of the science of alchemy. The human body is made up of a couple dozen different elements, all of them cheap and easy to find at the local apothecary. I had everything required to resurrect Akira. So what went wrong? And why did the transmutation go one step further and take my remaining leg?

 

Perhaps…I could find the answer in Central City.