Yu-Gi-Oh! Fan Fiction / Hamtaro Fan Fiction ❯ Return of the Duel Hams ❯ a rundown with the dragon soldier ( Chapter 20 )

Before I go on with this next chapter, I will wish all those who entered the design your own card contest good luck. I also would like to acknowledge our sponsors:

 

"MILFs-R-Us" At MILFs-R-Us, our motto is "You love 'em, we got 'em, come get 'em."

 

The Pervert's Society: Listening to the little voice in our pants since 1943.

 

Your friends at Jimmy's Hats who remind you, "We got one.... for everyone."

 

Baby-Mama-Drama's Drop-off Centers. "We'll take the accidents young girls don't want."

 

Arti Fischel's Vaginas. "Enjoy all you want, without babies."

 

and by, the Wankertorium. "Go ahead, let it all out."

 

After everyone was done with their practice duels, the ham-hams went to the fun park for registering into the tournament. "So now that we're all ready, let's go get signed up." said Boss.

"Yeah." the others said and off everyone went.

"Does everyone have their decks?" asked Howdy. "I got mine."

"You know, I don't have my deck at all." said Hamtaro.

"They might want to register our decks along with ourselves, good thinking, Howdy." said Stan.

Two minutes later....

"Does everyone have their decks, now?" asked Boss.

"Yup." the hams answered.

"Then let's go, we've already wasted time."

"Yeah, let's go already. I always keep my deck with me anyway." said Sparkle.

The hams walked off towards the fun park, But Boss stopped to see that Jam wasn't with everyone. So he went back inside of the clubhouse to track him down. When he got in, Boss saw Jam coming out of the bathroom. "Are you coming or what?" he asked.

"You mean to register," Jam responded. "I have to get the rest of the deck ready. Don't wait up for me, Boss. I might be a while and I wouldn't want you to miss out since you seemed so agitated during the practice duels."

"Well, all right. But you better show up." and Boss left to rejoin the ham-hams.

Jam walked over to the table with his cards and looked them over. "Don't you think you should go with the rest of the hams?" he asked.

"You should know better of me by now, I'm not in a hurry." Snoozer answered. "So I'm gonna sleep a little more." and over he turned in his sock.

Good old Snoozer... "Oblivious, yet all knowing" just as always....

 

It didn't take long for Boss to rejoin the hams on their way to the fun park. "Boss, Where's Jam at?" Cappy asked.

"He'll catch up." Boss answered. "I went to check on him and he was still making deck adjustments."

"That's Jam for you, always changing his style." said Stan. "That's one of the things we love about him."

The hams agreed. "So, uny luck with your deck?" Pepper whispered to Pashmina.

"Actually yes." Pashmina whispered back. I managed to pull out quite the interessting combos with spells. Now I just need a few more ass-kicker traps and I'm set."

"So what do you have now?"

"The best trap I have right now is..." she looked around for any other snooping hams, only to find none. "Dark Mirror Force."

"Nice."

"I know...."

 

"So Oxnard..." Maxwell began.

"Wassup?" Oxnard asked.

"How many times do you and Pepper get busy?"

"Plenty. How many times do you and Sandy get busy?"

"Plenty."

"What's your point?"

"I bet I can go longer with Sandy than you can with Pepper."

"It's nice to know you think that, but I don't play that way. I don't have conferences for sport."

"Yeah, well maybe you should try a conference while dueling.... Oh wait, you can't."

"Well maybe you should try a conference in the middle of a horse stampede... Oh wait, you can't."

"Touché."

"Damn straight."

 

"So Sandy, will you play this tournament?" asked Sparkle.

"I want to, but I'm still unsure." Sandy answered.

"Not enough confidence in your dueling skills I take it. But then again, I haven't really see you do any actual dueling."

"Ah crap."

"What's the matter, I tell the sad truth on you?"

"No, I forgot my monarchs... oh well."

*

The hams made it to the fun park and luckily for them they made it to the line. Too bad there was a long wait. "See, this is what I was talking about." Boss growled. "If we would've gotten things right earlier, we probably would've had a shorter wait."

"Stop moping like it's the end of the world." said Pepper. "We're here in line and that's all that matters."

"So I see you guys made it after all." Jam walks up to them.

"Well what took you so long?" asked Boss.

"Yeah, I missed you too. Well, I'm off to venture around the park."

"But don't you want to enter the tournament?" asked Cappy.

"I'm already registered."

The jaws of all the hams dropped. "But you left after us, how the hell are you already registered?" asked Stan.

"I'm quick on my feet when I'm alone. Besides, I have my ways."

"Lovely." said Howdy. "Now we have to wait in line."

"Yup, I'm off to venture. Come along, Bijou." said Jam.

"But... I have to..." Bijou was explaining.

Jam took her by the paw and off they went. "How does he do those things?" asked Hitomi.

"He just does." Pashmina answered.

"I'm gonna follow him." said Stan. "Jam, wait for me!"

"Forget this long ass wait, I'll register later." said Hamtaro. "Right now, I wanna have some fun."

"Count me in, Hamtaro." said Cappy.

"Me too." added Penelope.

"You guys must really not want to get registered then." said Boss.

"I guess not. Too bad for them." said Sparkle.

"Come with me, Sandy. I wanna show you something." said Maxwell.

"Can it wait?" asked Sandy.

"No, it can't."

 

And off Maxwell dragged Sandy. Hamtaro, Cappy and Penelope went off to play and Hermana went with them. Boss, Howdy, Sparkle and Hitomi waited in line. "I guess it's just us." said Hitomi.

"Too bad for those losers, they'll never get signed up." said Sparkle.

"You said it."

 

Oxnard, Pepper and Maxwell went to look at the cards that were up for sale. "You know, this is a live assortment here." said Pepper.

"Yeah," Oxnard agreed, "but I have a lot of this stuff already."

"Me too, but you never know what you'll find."

"Man, look at the endless books of commons... I guess people really don't care much for these." said Dexter.

"Hey you guys, what's up?"

The trio looked up to see Seamore and Barrette. "Shouldn't you two be running the picture shop?" asked Dexter.

"And miss out on some much needed fun? Sorry, but I'm no Jack." Seamore answered.

"It sure beats waiting at the front gate to sign up for the tournament, man that line is long." said Pepper.

"If that's the case, why don't you just go down that way?" Barrette asked and pointed. "You can sign up at the south entrance."

"Heke? You're kidding...." said a shocked Dexter.

 

Meanwhile on the west side of the fun park, Bijou and Jam stood in line for a treat. "Jam, I have to hand you my hat. You saved my day." Bijou said.

"Yeah, a lot of people waited at the front gate to sign up and here you are almost next in line." Jam said.

"I'm glad you pulled me away."

"Yup. Well, I'll wait for you over here when you're done."

"Okay."

Jam walked away from the line and as he got away, he saw a familiar face. "Nice to see you wised up."

"Yeah, but following you isn't easy." said Stan. "At least I don't have to wait so long over here."

"Yeah, you don't." said Jam.

"Maxy, you're the best." The two dragon duelists turn to see Sandy and Maxwell around the corner.

"Hey, look at that, there's Jam and Stan. Let's move."

"Nice to see you made it." Jam said.

"Of course." Maxwell said. I managed to grab a map and I found out that there are four different points around the park taking sign-ups. It's amazing what a little reading can do."

"Yup."

"Well, at least I'll be able to say I signed up before Boss." said Stan.

"Totally." Sandy agreed.

"Bijou should be almost done too." said Jam.

"Correction, I am done." said Bijou. "A lot of ze hams didn't even know I was ze champiné eizhere."

"I wonder how Hamtaro and them are doing...." wondered Maxwell.

 

Hamtaro, Hermana, Cappy and Penelope were in line on the east end, practically next in line. "Do you still think that Boss and them are still in line?" asked Hamtaro.

"Of course they are, they probably didn't make much progress either." answered Penelope.

"I'm glad we found this place to sign up at, because I really would've been mad to have to go all the way back to the main gate just to register." said Cappy.

"This rocks, I'm so glad I tagged along with you." said Hermana.

*

 

Dexter and company met up with Jam and crew an everyone had a drink. "Let's toast to Jam, Maxwell and Barrette for helping us find shorter lines to sign up for the tournament, because we probably would still be waiting if they didn't." Toasted Dexter.

"Cheers!" all the hams clanked their glasses.

"They really didn't know you were the champ when you registered, Bijou?" asked Seamore.

"Nope, you should've seen zeir faces." Bijou answered with a giggle.

"Well, whatever the case, this was freakin' sweet." said Stan.

"Any good cards out there?" asked Jam.

"Yeah, but nothing my trades have for." Oxnard answered.

"You should've seen the fat books of commons from the vendors..." said Dexter.

"I'll have to look into that." said Jam.

"Well this has been fun and all, but I'm off to scout the competition." said Stan.

"You mean the available girls, like you always do." said Sandy.

"No, I mean that this sign up is going on and there are bound to be duelists practicing for the tournament coming up. Competition study is a tactical thing right now. See you later guys." and off Stan went.

"I'm gonna go and do a bit of card scouting. See ya." said Jam and off he went.

"Forget scouting the competition, I'm here for the fun times." said Hamtaro. "I can always duel here, but right now, I'm all for play."

 

Meanwhile at the main gate.... "Man, it's been an hour and we haven't even moved so much." said Boss.

"Yes we have," said Sparkle, "but the line got longer...."

"Man, this is a drag." said Hitomi.

"I should've went with Hamtaro." said Howdy.

As the Hams moved along, Boss caught glimpse of a map, then he just all out got furious. "No way, you've gotta be kidding me!" he yelled.

"Hey man, what's your problem?" questioned the ham next to Boss. "I know you're impatient, but you don't have to yell in my ear."

"I'm looking at the map over there at it said that they're also taking sign-ups on the west, east and south ends of the ham park."

"Hey you guys." said Panda. "I don't know why you're waiting in line still, but the other three sign-up booths have way shorter lines than this one."

"You're pulling my leg." said Sparkle.

"Nope. I WENT OVER TO THE EAST SIGING BOOTH AND IT WAS PRACTICALLY EMPTY!"

 

The horde of duelists that heard Panda yell that ran out of line and all throughout the ham park. This of course, dramatically cut the line to the mane gate. Panda simply walked away from his pals. "You're welcome."

 

Jam was busy scowring the books of commons and rares at the venders. Man, there's a lot of crap in here. I wonder if this was a bad idea. he thought as he turned the page. Then he spotted something he liked. Talk about "Diamonds in the rough"..... Hello my pretties.....

 

Stan's research wasn't going so well. "Man, a bunch of kids dueling... where are all the good duels at?" he asked himself. "I probably missed them. Tch, a bunch of rookies and hotshots wanting to look good in front of girls, and some of them don't enven know what they're doing half to two thirds of the time. Why do losers like that even bother entering the tournament...."

"You shouldn't be one to talk...."

Stan turned around and that when he saw the owner of that voice. It was a hamster, dressed in a black cloak with odd markings over the hood. "You remind me of those duelists who think that just because they have a deck of cards and they can beat their friends, that they are invincible... I call duelists like that foolish."

"Yeah? Well unlike the wannabe duelists who spit a lot of game, my cards back up what leaves my mouth." Stan told the cloaked hamster.

"Of course you do, I expect that from one of the Dragon Brothers."

"So you've heard of me?"

"Of course I've heard I've heard of the Dragon Brothers. You must be Stan. Like you, I grow tired of dueling the foolish, only to grind up their dreams and blow the dust away. Perhaps someone of your dueling reputation might prove challenging..."

"That voice, has to be a guy... So you think your cards a good enough, my man?"

"Pah, you face the Dragon Soldier. My cards are far more dominant than yours!" The parting of his cloak happened revealing an unknown type of duel disk. The action also showed that this Dragon Soldier had black fur.

"Is that right, well then..." Stan activated his duel disk. "I hope you'll show and tell.

"I will show and destroy. It's times to duel."

 

And with those words, the duel was on. Both Stan and the Dragon soldier drew their hands. "I hope you're ready," replied the Dragon Soldier. "I don't know the definition of playing easy."

"Well since you want me to entertain you, you won't mind me going first." said Stan.

"Go ahead, if you think it'll do. Amuse me."

Stan took his card. "I'll set two cards face down, and summon the Divine Dragon Ragnarok to the field (1500/1000). Your move."

The Dragon Soldier simply laughed. "What, do you call that a move?" he drew his card.

"Yeah, I do."

"Man, that's pathetic. You expect me to lose with terrible moves like that? What a waste of an opening turn."

"If you've got a better move, I'm waiting to see it."

"Fine, watch and learn. First, I'll activate Graceful Charity. We all know how this works." DS resolves his card's effect. "And the killing begins now. Now I'll play Heavy Storm to destroy your defenses..." A powerful storm comes in, destroying Stan's face downs, so much for his defenses. "Now it's time for the Black Luster Ritual. I'll let Gilford be the offering."

"Lightning or Legend?"

"They're both eight stars, so it doesn't matter. Come forth, Black Luster Soldier (3000/2500). Next, I'll summon Marauding Captain (1200/400), followed by Vorse Raider (1900/1200)."

Man, that's not good....

"Now your life is at my mercy, this is how you make your move. Vorse Raider, cut up that dragon."

 

Vorse Raider throws its axe at the Divine Dragon Ragnarok, scratching the surface of Stan's life points (7600), but the Dragon Soldier wasn't done with him yet. "Black Luster Soldier, slash him with your Chaos Blade!" that attack dropped Stan on his rear (4600). "You're up next, Marauding Captain, cut him down even further." Before Stan could get up, he was attacked again. It was only the first turn and Stan was already on the ropes (3400). "Now some may say that wasting my entire hand like that was foolish, but with a line-up like mine on the field, it's well worth having you at my mercy."

"You really know how to dish out the pain...." said Stan, who was still on a knee.

"I thought you would give me a run for my money, but I see now that wasn't that case. This is a disgrace."

"You ain't kidding on that one." up comes Jam.

"Hi, how were your ventures?" asked Stan.

"Fine, but I hope you were doing well three turns ago."

"Three turns? This is still the first turn." said the Dragon Soldier.

"Tell me you're not gonna take this sitting down..." said Jam.

"Of course not, I'm gonna take this standing up." said Stan.

"It seems that the elder Dragon Brother is upset at his younger brother's demise..." stated the Dragon Soldier.

"Why don't you shut the hell up..." Stan finally got to his feet.

"Because I still have all of my 8000 life points."

"Holy crap." Dexter came running. "I knew I saw the Black Luster and--" Dexter held his tongue as he saw the markings on the cloak of the Dragon Soldier. "I wanna see a comeback and I wanna see it now, even you shouldn't be loosing like this."

"Especially on the first turn." Jam added.

"The first trun?! Even Jam doesn't whoop your ass this bad."

"Thanks for the moral support, Dexter. It helps a lot." Stan said.

"I will mercifully end my turn." said the Dragon Soldier. "Hopefully, you can turn this around."

Stan took his card. "Okay, let's try this on for size. Go, my Luster Dragon (1900/1600). Destroy his Marauding Captain with you Sapphire Blaze!" The luster Dragon destroys it's target.

"And I thought I would be flawless this game..." said the unphazed Dragon Soldier (7300).

"Now for that comeback. I play Swords of Concealing Light, set his monsters."

 

Suddenly, black swords rained down over the Dragon Soldier's monster, flipping them into Set position. "That's all I have for now, but the but kickin's comin to ya, Dragon Soldier."

"Tough talk from a wounded ham." said the Dragon Soldier as he drew his card. "But just like the rest of the fools who think that a simple weak play can push away the Jaws of Defeat, that same beast rears his ugly head. And unlike the card I just drew, you will be less of an understatement to it. I a play Premature Burial (6500)."

"Really, going to revive your Marauding Captain?"

"No, fool. I have something in my draveyard that's far more destructive to you, and his name is Buster Blader. Rise from the grave, my fallen soldier."

Dexter shook his head. "Ouch." he said.

So much for his comeback.... thought Jam.

"Man, just when I needed a break..." Stan trailed off.

"Weaklings who need breaks only get broken." stated the Dragon Soldier as his card appeared. "And since two dragons are in your possession, this soldier get 500 ATK points for each of them (3600/2300). But look on the bright side, at least you'll survive this attack. Now show him the power of your Ruin Ray Slash."

The attack from Buster Blader's slash created a shockwave that shook the ground, in addition to splitting the Luster Dragon and Stan's life points in half. That's not looking too good for you Stan. Jam thought.

"Take your turn."

"With pleasure." said Stan as he drew his card (1700).

"One turn down, one turn to go."

"Man, I can fuse together my Dragon Knight, but it'll cost me by giving his monster more strength. I have no choice, but to hold out as long as I can.... One monster in defense mode and that ends my turn."

The Dragon Soldier draws his card. "Slay his monster." Buster Blader attacks, but to the Soldeir's amazement, he destryoed Dark Blade. "Your turn."

Stan draws and puts another monster face down, it's not a dragon, but it's all he can do. "I'm done."

The Soldier draws. "I admire how even though you know defeat, you still play the duel. Not that there's anything you could do anyway, but at least you showed me that your reputation is a mere joke. Now that your swords are gone, I will flip up my Vorse Raider and Bluck Luster Soldier. Unlike those who prolong suffering, I am not so lenient. Buster Blader, attack his monster." Another destroyed non dragon type. "Now to finish you off, Chaos Blade!"

 

Stan closed his eyes as he took the attack of the Black Luster Soldier. Luckily for him, the attack wasn't real, or that sword's vertical slash would've cut the tiger striped hamster in half.... at least, it would've... but as Stan opened his eyes, he saw a familir form. What the.... Jam took the blow for him. "Jam, are you okay?"

"I'm fine." Jam answered. "So this is what the attack of Black Luster feels like... man, does it sting."

"I'm sorry I let you down."

"Don't worry about it. Remember that everyone loses, even me." Jam took to his feet. "You know, you could've attacked with the Vorse Raider to finish him off..."

"Why, to give him a 'Saving Grace' as you call it?" questioned the Dragon Soldier. "Absolutely not. Though I haven't dueled you yet, I can already see that your compassion is your downside to your dueling skills. It only shows how pathetic you duelists really are..."

"Lighten up asshole, it's just a game." said Dexter. "Come of the serious deal."

"5000 years ago in Egypt, this wasn't 'just a game' you fool. And you are obviously no different from them."

"Whatever, asshole. Don't worry about this loss, Stan. This isn't the tournament yet, so it doesn't count."

"True. Dexter, is it not?"

"It is... what's it to ya?"

"Just so you know, I too have entered this tournament. Alongside others like me, including a real dragon duelist and her deck shits on yours. Be lucky, for when we next duel during tournament time, I will be even more merciless..." and off he walked away.

 

"I don't know what crawled up and plugged up his ass, but he really needs to chill." said Dexter.

"He was chillin', Dex." said Jam. "Come on you two, let's go. Can you walk, Stan?"

"Yeah, let's go." Stan answered.

The three friends began to walk away, but then Stan fell to a knee. "That's all I needed to see." said Jam.

"I'm fine, I'll walk it off." said Stan.

"Of course you will, with help." Jam helped Stan up, placing Stan's right arm over his own shoulder and off the three went.

"Thanks a lot, Jam."

"No problem, anytime."

Dragon Soldier, huh? Well, you beat me good... before I could unleash my power on you. When next we duel, I'll be ready for you....

Jam noticed the look on Dexter's face. This is about the cloak isn't it, Dex? he started a chat with Dexter in subcon.

You noticed it too... Dexter responded.

Of course, I also saw his face.

Those marking on that cloak match the markings on the headbands of Hitomi and Hermana.

Good, you're noticing well.

Whoever that guy was, I'm sure our new friend will tell us about this, even if we have to use force.....