Yu-Gi-Oh! Fan Fiction ❯ [Flaming] Queen of Games ❯ Chapter 1

[Flaming] Queen of Games

 

By Ainohimeliz

 

Scene: A Disco. Pegasus is front and center, dancing to Abba's “Dancing Queen”

 

Characters:

 

Pegasus J. Crawford

Siegfried VonSchroeder

Chronos De Medici

 

Pegasus: Everyone do my sexy dance, whether it's because I have your little brother hand-cuffed to my bed or because I'll call immigration on you if you don't! Ha! It's good to be queen! [the music stops] Good evening ladies, gentleman and my number one fan Michael Jackson. Pegasus J. Crawford here telling you all that I rule. I am the creator of “Duel Monsters,” and I have the entire Viennese Boys choir tied up in the basement. I suppose you must all be wondering just why a blatant homosexual like myself could possibly have started this entire thing for a woman. Well, I'll tell you. When I first saw my darling Celia all charming and innocent, I realized I was more than just a gay man; I was also a dirty pedophile. Unfortunately, after I married her I realized something terribly tragic: I missed men. So, like most of the sexually ambiguous population of San Francisco, I discovered sex and the city, and I don't mean the television show. I should have realized that fellow wasn't really a policeman when the rest of the Village People showed up that one night, but I'll tell you it's fun to stay at the YMCA. I think it's safe to say that they were the ones who gave her that terminal disease. I am merely a carrier…honestly I have so many I'm practically immune to all of them. Nevertheless, the magic of guilt consumed me after Celia's death and I knew that I had to try and bring her back to life if I could never find a way to relieve that massive itch in her crotch. Too much information you say? Well, I say…time for a Sexy Dance! [Dancing Queen plays once again. Pegasus dances again.]

 

Seek: [Appears at stage right. The music stops Pegasus stops dancing. As he speaks, Seek makes his way to center stage.] Mien Gott, do you really think that you can call yourself the Queen when I, Siegfried VonSchroeder, am gracing the world with my presence, Heir Pegasus?

 

Pegasus: Well, if it isn't the reason I avoid Europe all together! So much expense for so much filth!

 

Seek: You dare to call me a prostitute?

 

Pegasus: Don't be gauche. There are some things even I won't do…like Frenchmen for example… and then there's you.

 

Seek: I think Mien Heir is jealous because he can't get any the way I can!

Pegasus: And what way is that? 100 marks and handful of Turkish delight?

 

Seek: You sound so bitter tonight. Could it be that I can seduce better ones than you?

 

Pegasus: Try me! I'm in the mood for a duel.

 

Seek: Very well, I'll go first. Hugh Grant!

 

Pegasus: Ricky Martin!

 

Seek: Dolce and Gabana!

 

Pegasus: The Olsen Twins!

 

Seek: Ha! Mien Heir is a poser!

 

Pegasus: Ha! They were both thirteen!

 

Seek: Siegfried and Roy!

 

Pegasus: Well, who hasn't?

 

Seek: Good point...Rob Lowe

 

Pegasus: Anonymous congeal visit with Robert Downy Jr.

 

Chronos: [appearing on the side] If you gentleman will take a minute from comparing your horrifying resumes, I, Chronos de Medici would like to challenge you both!

 

Pegasus: Good Lord! Can you believe this fashion faux pas actually thinks he can challenge us in that outfit? What the hell were you thinking when you purchased this ensemble? Were you thinking at all?

 

Seek: Ja, talk about a work in progress! The trim alone says, “Arrest me so the ugliest prisoner can make me his bitch!”

 

Chronos: Perhaps you think so, but [the piano starts playing as Chronos makes his way to Pegasus and Seek. He sings:] I feel pretty/Oh so pretty/I feel pretty and witty and--

 

Pegasus: [slaps Chronos and interrupts his song.] That's for wearing blue lipstick! Ewww!

 

Seek: He wears more makeup than me! You are supposed to be a duelist, Heir Chronos, not a whore!

 

Pegasus: [Pegasus puts his gloves on] I can see we have our work cut out for us. [A short “Queer Eye for the Straight Guy” montage follows where Pegasus and Seek give Chronos a make over.]

 

Pegasus: Well, Siegfried-boy what do you think of him now?

 

Seek: He's almost as lovely as me!

 

Pegasus: I couldn't agree more. [claps his hands] This calls for a sexy song and dance!

 

Chronos: [Piano music starts again. Pegasus and Seek join him on either side in a can-can kick line.] I feel pretty/Oh so pretty/I feel pretty and witty and--[Seek and Pegasus interrupt the music, beat the crap out of Chronos and kill him with their bare hands. Pegasus and Seek carefully brush themselves of any dirt and straighten their ties.]

 

Seek: Always take them when their guard is down!

 

Pegasus: I misjudged you, Seek. You really aren't so bad. Would you do me the honor of joining me for the spotlight dance?

 

Seek: Ja whol! [Pegasus and Seek slow dance in the spotlight to Abba's “Fernando.” As soon as Seek's guard is down, Pegasus grabs him, slams him onto the floor and beats him on the head seven times. Seek is now dead. Pegasus takes off his gloves.]

 

Pegasus: Let it be known that there is only room for one Flaming Queen of Games! Sexy dance! [Pegasus dances once again to “Dancing Queen.”]

 

[The End]

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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